Shades of Grey (A Little Black & White)
"God damnit, Carrots. Why do you have to do this to me?"
The small, soundproofed office of Lieutenant Nicholas Wilde was quiet save for the rustling of clothing. Soft gasps and low growls followed, filling the soundless void. Lips met lips, tongue dance around tongue, and flesh met flesh with heated pace.
"Because I don't love- Ah! Nick!"
The two occupants weren't fox and rabbit; they were male and female, a bonded, mated pair taking part in nature's most primal activities. Sharp teeth ensnared a delicate ear in their grasp as the fox gave his lover everything he had. There was a strangled gasp that morphed into a low moan of ecstasy as their beings became one, even if it was only for the while. Trembling and spent both parties leaned back in the comfortable office chair and relished in the sensations that flowed through their joined bodies. Nicholas Wilde's paws roamed all over Judy Hopps' form, claws tracing the edges of where grey met white as rabbit lover shuddered in contentment.
Judy was cemented to his lap by his engorged knot, so she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. However, Nick knew better. This was a regular occurrence between them. Late nights at the precinct, followed by loose conversations about their day, and when everyone else had clocked out and left for the day… all bets were off.
They would be on each other in an instant, kissing, touching, loving and squeezing whatever they could get their paws onto. It would end just as quickly as it started as both knew that even late at night they could be found out, and they've had close calls on more than one occasion; this was except for the rare occasions when the rabbit wanted to tie with her canine lover. Just like every other instance they would clean up, de-scent, and head their separate ways with a curt 'Goodnight, Lieutenant Hopps', followed by a 'Goodnight, Lieutenant Wilde. See you tomorrow... partner'.
At least, that's what had happened almost twice a week for the past three and a half years. Nicholas Wilde would clean the office and head back to his apartment feeling empty and lifeless, while Judith Hopps returned to her husband and six kits. Despite the tenderness of the moment, the fox's paws moved over chest and belly in the way he knew she liked, and even when the rabbit's nose grazed the bottom of his chin with gentle kisses his mind didn't register; his body was on auto-pilot as his mind wandered back to the series of events that led up to their regular trysts.
The bunny officer had changed his life for the better, and after nearly three years the fox had finally worked up the courage to tell her just how important she was to him. She responded with feelings in kind, but inevitably their short relationship only garnered them hardship and strife. Nick had thought that their love was unbreakable, but like any chain that binds it was only as strong as its weakest link. Judy was tough, but she wasn't invincible. She was only mortal. After a few short months they ended it, on good terms, but the separation caused a rift. New partners, new promotions, new jobs, and new responsibilities kept piling on, and as a result they drifted apart from one another.
When Nick turned thirty-eight Judy had found a Zootopian born buck that approved of her dangerous lifestyle as a police officer, and after they married he went out of his way to start a home business so that he could take care of the kits that were on the way. Judy had six children, three boys, and three girls, all beautiful and unique in their own way. Nick was at the hospital when they were born, and despite his protests Judy had him hold each and every one of them; it 'was his right' as godfather to her babies. Nick accepted the honor with an open heart, but it didn't feel right. Somewhere in the back of his mind the children were his, and not the overjoyed city rabbit's; it ate away at him.
It wasn't two years gone after that Judy approached him in his office after a particularly harrowing day. She looked tired and distraught, so weary and on edge it made his chest hurt. Judy didn't love her husband. Not one bit. He was kind, caring, and supportive, as every husband should be, and she cared for him... but she didn't love him. The rabbit was so angry with herself, Nick could see it, and she told him so. It had taken her four years, a loveless marriage, six kits and a funeral to realize that there was only one mammal in her life she felt she could spend the rest of her days with. Only one mammal that made her feel alive, made her tingle with desire, and filled her to the brim with pride when she called him hers.
Judy apologized to him in between broken sobs, for everything. For leaving him, for letting her family and society dictate to her who she could love, even though she'd never cared in the past. For marrying another mammal despite what they both knew in their hearts to be true. In the middle of his comparatively large office Judy had raised her head up, tears falling down her face, beautiful, violet eyes reflecting the dim light from the single lamp on his desk. She asked him to forgive her; to selfishly help ease the pain in her heart, because she knew she still loved him. Still wanted him. Still needed him.
Nick couldn't remember whom kissed whom, whose shirt came off first, or how their clothing ended up strewn across the floor. All he could remember was lifting the rabbit up and placing her on top of his now cleared desk; he wasn't gentle, and she didn't want him to be. Years of pent up desire and emotion made their first love making in nearly four years frenzied and feverish in intensity, and Nicholas was glad that he'd replaced his old rickety desk with one far more sturdy.
It continued like that every few days, and would continue, the fox thought, unless he put a stop to it. As much as Nick hated what they were doing, he found that didn't have the fortitude to ever tell her 'no', and it was that fact that made their late night rendezvous in his office all the more painful.
He needed to put a stop to it. All of his life he detested those that sought comfort outside of their relationships, and now he'd helped her become one. His mind tried to rationalize the twisted situation as many different ways as it could; they truly loved each other. They were together before her husband was even in the picture. They would still be together if it weren't for her friends, family, and society trying to tell them how they should run their lives.
In the end it never helped. It was wrong. He knew it, and so did she. While it hadn't stopped either of them in the past it didn't matter; this had to change.
Nick blinked as he was torn from his thoughts when he felt Judy stir in his lap, her deep moan of loss punctuated by the quick return of his foxhood to his sheath. The rabbit sighed heavily as she slowly crawled down the side of the chair, and she shivered when her hind paws met the cool floor beneath her. The fox watched her lethargically, his face expressionless, no, despondent, as he watched her begin the post rut cleaning ritual.
The rabbit was so efficient, her movements smooth and practiced after years of repetition. Nick wanted to bury his face into his paws at the thought of just how many times he slept with Judy since she approached him that night; he'd probably been inside her more times than her husband at this point. The fox felt ill as she pulled the body wipes from his dresser drawer, her hips dropped and abdomen clenched as she did her best to clear as much of his seed from her rabbithood as possible; they both knew she would never be able to get it all. Nick wasn't large for a fox, but that didn't matter; he was large enough that when they tied he filled her completely, his cum reaching deep into her womb every time.
Judy wiped her whole body completely clean, from the juices matting the fur on her bottom and thighs to the fox's saliva coating her neck and ears. If there was any bruising that showed underneath her fur she'd make up a story out loud so he could hear, ask for his input, and finalize the lie. Judy always expressed her disgust with having to maneuver with her words, but they hadn't been overly zealous this night, so there were no bruises to lie about.
Judy loved it when Nick didn't treat her like she was made of glass.
In the past the rabbit was always the first one to get dressed, and that looked like it would be the case tonight as well. Judy finished with the buttons of her uniform top and stood in front of a small mirror in the corner to inspect her reflection. Unsatisfied she pulled Nick's fur brush from the desk drawer and moved her fur into place before dropping it back in and grabbing a small, rabbit sized can of 'LuvR Be Gone' spray; it was the strongest de-scenter on the market, and it would be hours before she even smelled like herself. While that might be suspicious for any mammal with a keen nose, it was quite obvious that her husband hadn't caught on yet; in the end none of it really mattered. Soon she would be home, surrounded by her own scent and reeking of the various smells the last train of the night harbored. If she kept up her routine her husband would be none the wiser.
It was twenty minutes to nine o'clock, and the rabbit was right on schedule as she made her way towards the door. Normally Nick would have been cleaned up and dressed himself by this point, but he couldn't find the strength to move; if she noticed then she didn't give any indicators. Just like all of the other nights Judy would pause at the door so they could exchange their goodbyes, and she would leave the cleanup of the room to him, but Nick never gave a damn about the room; he cared that she would leave him all alone with the torrent of emotions bubbling beneath the surface. The lust. The anger. The sadness. The guilt.
Not any more.
The rabbit officer's ears perked up and her paw froze just before it touched the door. The deviation from their normal routine had caught her attention. "Yes... Nick?" It was impossible to miss the deep breath of trepidation that filled her lungs, and despite the millions of different possibilities his words could go her posture let him know that she knew exactly what he wanted to say.
"Leave him, Judy."
Judy's ears fell to her back as she slumped forward, her forehead kissing the thick wooden door of his office. Nick could see the whites of her knuckles as the paw that clenched onto the knob in a death grip. "I said I would Nick, I just need more time..."
"You said the very same thing the first night we started this... this... charade, Judy! That was three and a half years ago!" While the office's sound proofing was impressive, as it wouldn't do for the head of Precinct One's Investigations department to have sensitive conversations eavesdropped on, the fox hadn't meant to raise his voice. Not to her. Never to Judy.
"I know, Nick... I just..." Judy spun away from the door and pressed her back against it. "I... how do I tell him?"
"Judy..." Nick stood up and moved around the desk towards her when her legs lost their strength; the fox kneeling in front of her sitting form. His large paws cupped her face and he kissed her gently. "You have to do it. I can't keep living like this. The sneaking around, the lying, the deceit. I can't keep… having you in my arms for a few moments… and then watch you waltz back home to your husband. It isn't fair to you, or me…and most certainly not him."
"Nick this isn't about just us, I have children now. If this tears my family apart..."
"Judy. What we're doing, you and me..." The fox sank onto his heels as he gestured between them with his paws. "It's... we're going to get caught. We're going to slip up and it's going to come out. Shit like this always does. It will be far worse. We could lose everything, our relationship, your children, our jobs, everything."
His words made her cry harder, the rabbit burying her face in her paws; as if she could stop the tears if she applied just enough pressure. "I... kn-know, Nick! Don't you think I don't know that?! I have to tell him... but I don't know how!"
Her paws flew away from her eyes as she gestured wildly with them as her voice took on a sarcastic, saccharine tone. "'Hey, Honey. Did you know that I've been sneaking behind your back for the past four years and fucking my best friend?' Or what about this one, Nick?! 'Hey, I want a divorce. I don't- no… I've never loved you, but I fooled myself into thinking that I could… would you mind granting me sole custody of our babies?'"
Judy's body shook as a chuckle escaped her lips. After a few moments her laughter grew in volume, becoming macabre and borderline hysterical. The fox's ears pinned themselves against his skull, as if that would take away bite in her words. Nick couldn't stop himself as he picked Judy up and pulled her close against his chest; the fox holding her as tightly as her small frame would allow. Eventually the small rabbit's sobs subsided, and when it seemed as though the last cry left her body he relaxed a little, setting her bottom on his thigh; away from the mess created by their previous activities. "You'll find a way, Judy… you always do; but I believe that the most direct path is the safest one. Tell him and move on. Your kits are my kits, Judy; we will fight for them if it comes to that. I will be with you every step of the way... but..."
Nick placed his paws underneath her arms and picked the doe up before setting her down gently on the floor. "But I want you to know that I will tell him, even if you don't. I like the guy, and even though I hate that he's your husband, what we're doing isn't right Judy. We need to fix this... we need to fix us."
"This will only get worse with time, not better." Nick said sullenly as he reached over picked the can of de-scent up; the strong, masculine scent of him clung to her musk-less form. She needed to be treated again before she left. "I'm going to be strong, Carrots, but I need you to be strong too. We can do this. We have to, for all our sakes."
Judy nodded weakly as she closed her eyes and held her breath. Nick squeezed the nozzle and sprayed until a thick cloud surrounded her. After a few seconds she stepped out and took a deep breath. Her eyes were still puffy and red, but they were sharper and more focused; he could see a little of the old Judy, and his heart clenched. "Okay, Nick. I'm telling him tonight. I've... ran away from this... from us for far too long. It's time I grew up and dealt with the consequences of my actions."
"I love you… wish me luck." Was all the rabbit said before she slipped out of his office as quickly and as quietly as she could. Nick's heart couldn't decide if it should flutter or crumble to dust, but he guessed that it was a least a change from the deep, throbbing ache it had been for the past few years. Sighing as he stood up the fox went to work cleaning himself and his office, moving everything back into place and using the body wipes to clean up any signs of their lovemaking. After tightening up his tie he held the can above his head and held his breath as a thick grey cloud covered everything in the room. It was fitting, the fox thought to himself, never had anything in his life ever been black and white except for one thing: his love for Judy Hopps.
A/N: Wow! Been a LONG TIME since I wrote something and put it up! Couldn't have done this without the help of my beta, my rock, and my buddy Evan Wolf! This little number was a plot bunny that had been bouncing around in my head, and so to prevent it from distracting me with my two main projects I have forced it onto paper so that it will never bother me again. It's a one shot, but potentially could get a sequel. I mean, with my new job all I do is write on my phone all night, so it's not like I'll be stressed for time. Anyways, if you enjoyed this new work, leave a review and subscribe to my profile; that way you'll always be kept up to date. Awesome! Thanks!