Camilla sighed softly as she lay in bed with her book one evening and tried to take her mind off of what had been troubling her throughout the day at Nonnatus, the tears burning in her eyes as her breath trembled whilst she forbade herself to crumble. She and Peter had nearly been married for a year and yet she hadn't become pregnant during that time span. They'd been trying to expand their small family for the past six months and every time they made love she would have her cycle shortly afterwards, crushing her hopes of becoming a mother yet another time. Each time she found out that she wouldn't become a mother, Peter was there to hold her in his arms, stroking her hair slowly as he shushed her whilst she sobbed into him. He was always such a comfort to her, yet she knew that he wanted a child just as desperately as she did. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek as she turned the page of her book, her hand immediately wiping it away just seconds before Peter entered the bedroom. She looked up at him and forced herself to smile as he walked over to her, accepting the cold and yet soft kiss he left upon her lips when he'd leaned down to her. 'I'm so sorry that I'm late home, love,' He sighed as he went about removing his jacket and tie, his gaze cast over to her as she kept her eyes on him. 'There was an emergency at the station and I needed to stay behind for a while...' When he realized that she was trying to stop her bottom lip from quivering as he opened the top two buttons on his shirt, his brow furrowed slightly in concern. 'Camilla? Camilla, sweetheart, what is it?' He was on the bed next to her in a matter of seconds as he pulled her close to him and held her head gently to his chest, combing his fingers slowly through her soft brown tresses as she trembled against him and gripped his shirt tightly. She whimpered as she nuzzled further into his chest and her eyes fluttered closed, breathing in his scent as light tears began to roll down her cheeks. The reality of what had happened soon hit him and made him sigh sadly into her hair as she broke into full on sobs, and he peppered kisses upon the crown of her head as she moved closer to him. 'Shh, it's alright,' He reassured her, Camilla slowly shaking her head as the tears soaked through the thin fabric of his shirt and made it stick to his chest.
'No, it isn't!' She spat softly as she pulled away from him and sat up whilst brushing the tears from her face, Peter following her soon afterwards as he rubbed her upper back. She sighed gently as she settled back into his gentle caresses and he put his arm slowly around her shoulders, shifting back towards the headboard with her in his arms. They lay in silence for a few moments as he ran his fingertips slowly up and down her bare arm, kissing the side of her head as she cleared her throat softly and gave a trembling breath. 'What if there's something wrong with my body, Peter?' Her voice held exhaustion and heartbreak as she lay against him and he soothed her, his caress gentle as he buried his nose into her sultry smelling hair. 'What if I can't give you what's required for us to start our own family? I help other women every day to deliver their own babies, I hear the cries of both of them and even though the entire idea of myself being in such pain terrifies me, I can't help but feel a burning need to know how it feels to hold a little one, darling,' She turned upon his chest and lay her forearms against him as tears pooled in her eyes once again, his fingers slowly brushing her hair back behind her ear so he could kiss her forehead. 'I know that you want a child just as much as I do, and the mere thought of you not having what you want hurts me,' He was slowly stroking her cheek whilst she spoke, and she soon stopped as she revelled in the feeling of his soft yet also slightly cold hand against her warm skin.
'But I have exactly what I want right here,' He reassured her as she looked down at his chest, his finger hooking beneath her chin to bring her gaze back to his. 'All that I am ever going to need in order to be happy is you by my side, my love. You're beautiful and you're loving, you're constantly seeing the good in everyone, and I don't know what I'd do if I woke up one morning and you weren't in my arms,' A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as their gazes locked, and she ran her hands slowly up and down his upper arms as he smiled lovingly at her.
'Go on,' She looked up at him through her lashes, teasing him and making his want for her all the more hard to conceal.
He chuckled softly and turned them so they were both laying on their sides and facing one another, his hand fixing upon her waist as he caressed it slowly and touched the tip of his nose to hers. 'Okay,' He sighed lovingly after kissing her lightly and was beginning to feel the tension leaving her body. 'I'm mad about you, Camilla. Everything that you do never fails to take my breath away, and just the mere sight of you every morning is enough to make me want to keep you in bed all day. You're gorgeous when you're sleeping and when you're content, but you're even more attractive when you're in your uniform. You need to understand that we might not become parents one day, my darling,' Her eyes opened then and held sadness once again, Peter stroking the back of his hand against the side of her neck. 'But you also need to keep the faith that it might happen for us. I'm going to love you with or without a baby, because I married you for who you are. I'm not going to pressure you into keeping to your wifely duties, Camilla,' She nuzzled her nose against his as his breath was now warm against her face. 'I'm also not going to go off of you if nothing comes out of our lovemaking. I'm going to stay in love with you until I draw my last breath, I promise you that,' He pulled back slightly to study her face, and a smile was now upon her lips which made his heart swell. 'There it is,' He stroked his thumb slowly against her upturned lips as she kissed the pad of it gently. 'There's that smile that I never tire of seeing,' She giggled softly as she pressed her lips to his cheek and stroked his hair for a few moments, pulling away slowly before laying back down again.
'I love you, Peter Noakes,' She whispered gently as their gazes locked, their fingers laced between them on the mattress as he ran his thumb over her knuckles. 'I've loved you since our first ever date, even though I was a clumsy old thing back then,' He raised an eyebrow and scoffed softly.
'You cheeky thing!' She smacked his chest halfheartedly as her mouth gaped, Peter kissing her slowly as she giggled into his mouth. 'I was trying to be romantic and now you've ruined it,' She was cut off when he sharply pushed her onto her back and got on top of her with a smirk, her hand laying next to her head as she smiled. 'Well, I see that you're trying to redeem yourself, Constable,' He peppered kisses along her cheek, jaw, neck and shoulder, slowly pulling her nightgown strap down her arm with a warm and gentle smile. She gasped softly when he removed her nightgown completely and left her bare before him, his hands slowly sliding over her curves as she arched into him with a gentle whimper. 'It's definitely working though,' He then kissed her deeply as her fingers began to make quick work of his shirt.
Later that evening they were laying together in the glow of the candlelight, Camilla nuzzling her nose slowly into the soft and dark curls of Peter's chest, his arm around her waist as he stroked his thumb across her hipbone. She was panting softly as her hair stuck to her forehead and her cheeks were reddened, her body blushed as she had a small love bite upon her collarbone. She had her hand upon his beating heart, feeling the erratic thump of it beneath her fingertips whilst his hand moved slowly to her neck and began to stroke the side of it slowly. 'Camilla?' He spoke gently to her as he could hear her breath changing slightly and her body resting. She hummed in response as she nuzzled beneath his chin and tangled her legs with his, running her foot slowly up and down his calf. 'Promise me that you'll never change even the slightest thing about yourself in order to make me stay in love with you,' He breathed softly into her ear. 'Because you don't need to persuade me to, when I'm never going to stop. We could have created a baby just now and we may not have, but I promise you that we can be content either way, sweetheart,' She kissed his jawline and he moved his head to leave a lingering kiss to her lips, their tongues brushing slowly for a few moments before they broke away.
'I've said it once and I'll say it again,' Her voice was heavy with sleep when she settled her head back down upon his chest. 'I love you, Peter Noakes,' He chuckled softly when she finally drifted off to sleep and he rubbed her arm slowly, kissing the top of her head gently as he held her as tightly as possible to him without waking her. Camilla was his world, his life, and his one true love. He knew that with her by his side for the rest of eternity, they could weather any storm.
'I love you too, Camilla Noakes,' He hummed softly as he began to quickly succumb to the clutches of sleep. 'More than you'll ever know,'
First Chummy and Peter fan fiction that I've ever written! Please review, I know that it sucks, but please be as gentle as possible! :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx