Summary: In which Sakura hears a rumor that Kakashi has a legendary-sized dick, and ridiculous sex dreams and awkward tension ensue. (Because we all know well endowed Kakashi is completely canon. One-shot, for KakaSaku Week 2016.) I hope you enjoy terrible introduction into the K/S fandom. Forgive me...


Kakashi is legendary across the world for being the man who mirrored a thousand jutsu, the infamous copy cat shinobi of the Leaf. And, he's a local legend for...well, something far more scandalous that won't make the history books.

It all starts with Sakura overhearing two Jonin mention Kakashi's name. She's getting a quick bite to eat at her favorite gyoza stand in between shifts at the hospital. So when she hears them chattering about her former sensei at the next table over, she can't help but listen in. The guy is practically golden - despite his fascination with corny smut, she's never met anyone with a stronger moral code. She can't imagine him being the subject of gossip.

"Seriously, man. I couldn't believe it. It was huge."

Now Sakura's ears really perk up. Her face floods with heat as she starts to have an inkling of just what they may be referring to. Holy shit. She knows that Kakashi regularly frequents the local bath house - he's brought it up plenty of times, says it's the easiest way for him to relax - but she never thought he went naked.

The guy sitting across from him had a weird grimace on his face. "Tell me about it. I don't have anything to complain about, but...damn." They laugh, sounding a little uneasy, taking solace in the fact that they aren't small - Kakashi is simply freakishly big.

Freakishly. Big. The words echo through Sakura's mind like a sick mantra. She chokes a little on her food when she looks over again and sees the guy holding up a coffee mug and his buddy shaking his head in disbelief.

Sakura groans. Do they even know just how much sleep she's going to lose over this? It's like the mask incident but a thousand times worse! After all, Kakashi isn't her sensei anymore - he's the Hokage. And she works part time as his assistant. And she just might happen to think he's starting to look better with age. And now...

Sakura mentally rehearses how she'll avoid trying to look anywhere except his crotch at work tomorrow. If she can maintain her professionalism in spite of this, she knows she can do anything.


"It's huge," she whispers, marveling without shame.

"Oh, I know," Kakashi says, and Sakura's heart leaps into her stomach as she takes in the sight of his enormous erect cock. She's never seen such a perfectly shaped phallus. It's like the Holy Grail of dick.

"I...can I touch it?" Her hands tremble with anticipation.

"Of course," Kakashi murmurs, and then suddenly he's on top of her and inside her, filling her completely, she's moaning and clawing at his back and reaching between their bodies to desperately rub at her clit.

"Oh...Oh! Kakashi! Just like that!" Sakura moans, and he groans in turn, and then she gets on top of him and she's taking him for the ride of her life - but then something feels wrong. Very wrong. She grimaces, looks down between her legs and feels him...getting bigger?

"K-Kakashi...what the - ow!" Sakura screams, and suddenly she's on her back and watching his dick expand to epic proportions. It really won't stop growing. It's at least two feet long and gives a whole new meaning to the term tripod.

"Like it?" Kakashi smirks. Sakura's stomach aches at the sight. That thing could penetrate her brain! To her horror, his cock begins twitching, and then it starts wiggling, and then it bites her thigh.

She wakes up with a gasp, drenched in sweat. What the actual fuck? Hands shaking, she reaches over for her phone and realizes she's overslept. Freaky sex dream or not, she has to be at work in less than fifty minutes, so she gets it together and hauls herself out of bed. As she showers, she wonders why the Gods are cursing her for her freakish curiosity.


Sakura sips her latte and tries to stave off her mounting headache as she stands outside of Kakashi's office. He's been getting better about his tardiness lately; ironically enough, today she hopes he'll be a bit late.

No dice. The door leading to the stairs opens and Kakashi comes strolling through at only 20 minutes past the hour.

"Good morning, Sakura," Kakashi says.

"Morning!" Sakura replies, trying to seem cheerful, staring him right in the eye and trying not to think about those two Jonin and their big mouths. It's her dream getting to her, too. Unsurprisingly, she can't get it out of her mind.

Kakashi stares. She feels a bead of sweat start to form on her forehead.

"What?" Sakura blurts out, the pressure getting to her.

"Oh, nothing," Kakashi says, but he speaks slowly, suspiciously. "You just look a little unusual today, that's all."

"Unusual?" Sakura utters, sounding offended, trying not to jump out of her skin. "I hope that isn't a covert way of telling me I look bad. Because I don't." The truth is, she knows she looks like shit, and she feels like it, too. She's never been one to do well without a solid night of sleep.

Kakashi merely shakes his head and starts searching for his keys. He's doing a lot of rooting around in his pants (of course) and she won't be surprised if he's lost it again. Men and their pockets; it never ceases to amaze her how much they'll try to jam in there.

"Kakashi, did you lose it?" she asks, trying to be patient.

"Nope, found it-" Then, he fumbles with the key ring and it hits the ground. "Oops," he sighs. "Looks like I'm having an off morning myself."

"Here, let me get it," Sakura mumbles, setting her latte on the ground. She reaches for the keys, which happen to have landed directly in front of his feet, which means...

Sakura swallows hard as she realizes she's almost eye level with his crotch. One glance, one single glance, and maybe she can see if the rumors are true. Don't do it! Don't look, her logic pleads. At the same time, Inner Sakura rears her ugly head and squeals with glee, 'You know you want to, it, you little slut!'

"Oh man," Sakura groans, practically burning holes into the floor with her eyes as she stands up. She shoves the keys into his hand. Kakashi raises a brow in question, but she merely shakes her head and waves her hand, trying to shrug it off. "I'm just feeling kind of blah. Low blood pressure. Sorry..."

"Oh. Well, that doesn't sound good," Kakashi says, and she can see he's genuinely worried and it kind of makes her feel awful. "Maybe you should go get something to eat?"

"You know, that's a great idea," Sakura nods. She slowly walks in the direction of the cafeteria. It'll buy her at least half an hour to clear her head, and an extra 15 minutes if she opts to take the stairs.


It's been a dull morning, and Sakura doubts the afternoon will get any better. A ton of paperwork just came in from upstairs, and Sakura has to help him do all the filing. Make that most of the filing - paperwork is not Kakashi's strong suit.

It would be a lot better if I could just look into your pants, Sakura thinks, though she's ashamed of her own perverted curiosity. The truth is, she knows it's bothering her because she hasn't looked at Kakashi like her sensei for a long time. After Sasuke left yet again promising nothing other than friendship, her heart had slowly healed, patching up disappointment with faith in finding love in the future. And somewhere along the way, there was Kakashi.

Not long ago, it dawned on her that she's stuck around as his assistant for reasons other than the salary hike. She chalks it up to how they've gotten to know each other in a far more personal way than she ever expected; she's one of the few people who have even see him sans the mask. And it's not like he hasn't fueled the fire, either - there's been a few occasions where she's caught him staring at her legs a little too long, and was she imagining it all those times when he made few thinly veiled flirtations over drinks? Why the hell are they even having drinks together, anyway? It's not like he's ever made a move on her, but he obviously has no idea how the ambiguity of it all has been driving her insane.

With this on top of everything else, I really might go crazy, she thinks. Because as much as she wants to vehemently deny it, Inner Sakura is right - there's something about the idea of him being extremely well endowed that only chips away at her fragile self-control. She shifts in her seat and tries to train her attention back to the task at hand.

"Long morning, huh?" Kakashi asks, clearing his throat. He's grown accustomed to their rapport throughout the day, and the room feels empty without her voice.

"Definitely," Sakura agrees. "I didn't sleep that well, honestly. I had...nightmares."

"Ah." Kakashi nods, unsure of whether he should press any further. He notices she's blushing. Huh. He's been wondering what's been up with her lately; it probably doesn't help that there's been some kind of unresolved sexual tension between them for weeks, if not longer than he'd care to admit. It's obviously coming to a head, as he predicted it might.

"Want to have a match later?" Kakashi asks carefully. "It could help for you to blow off some steam." They haven't faced off in ages, and honestly, she doesn't look half-bad in her sparring gear.

She looks surprised at his suggestion, but her tone is appreciative. "Yeah. You know, that sounds like a good idea." Maybe if she's focusing on kicking his ass, she won't think about him fitting his hips against hers.


She watches Kakashi go hurtling back into a tree. That was an easy hit - he totally let her have that one, and it's only pissing her off even more.

"Come on! Stop holding back," Sakura shouts, racing toward him with chakra pumped in her fists. He's nailed her a few times, and her stomach aches from where he left an imprint of his boot, but she has more energy to burn. They've been going back and forth trading light blows for over half an hour, and she's getting impatient. She did train under one of the legendary Sanin, and since the end of the war she's on the way to becoming a bit of a legend herself - she wants a challenge.

She attacks him full on with a series of vicious roundhouse kicks, feeling a small victory when she clips his shoulder. She knows she can heal him later, knows he isn't worried. He's worried about her, if anything, and she's going to make him pay for it.

Kakashi winces as pain radiates from his shoulder into his neck. No more messing around then. He feels his innate competitive nature get the best of him as he charges at her with a partially-formed chidori, just enough to give her a bruise she won't forget.

A blast of water hits him in the chest, sending painful shocks down his arms and upper back. Water release - well, that's new. He obviously isn't up to date with her training.

Suddenly, her entire weight is on his chest, and then they're tumbling through the grass, dirt and rubble flying into the air. They settle in the tall grass by the trees, surrounded by the cadence of crickets and bullfrogs unaware of their destruction.

"Hah! Got you!" Sakura half-shouts, and she clenches her fists in triumph, grinning. She's panting, lungs aching and chest burning from exhaustion and the adrenaline coursing through her veins. That felt great - he was right about this being just what she needed.

"It seems you have," Kakashi murmurs, a slightly strange expression on his face. It suddenly dawns on her that it could be because she's straddling him and practically in his lap. His lap.


He may not be erect, but she can still feel the bulge through his clothes. He is big, although not as freakishly huge as she expected, thank God. And maybe it's the endorphins of her win, or maybe it's the instinctive side of herself that's rallying at the realization that in a way, she's actually topping Kakashi, but something compels her to press her lips against the outline of his. The 'kiss', if you can call it that, only lasts for a few seconds, but she feels a rush of warmth between her legs and her heart is beating out of her chest.

"Oh. Oh wow. I can't believe I just did that. Um," Sakura laughs nervously, turning scarlet. "Please don't fire me?" It's the first thing that comes to mind.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Kakashi says, looking genuinely taken aback. "Who else will organize my meetings? You're the best."

Sakura's shoulders sag in relief. "Oh...yeah. Good point." Her stomach sinks when she realizes she's a few seconds away from facing a speech detailing her rejection. That is, until she feels his hand snaking up to grip her ass.

"You know, these would look lovely on you in green. Perhaps a few inches shorter..." Kakashi traces the outline of her rear with an appraising hand. Sakura gapes.

"You are such a pervert," she mutters in disbelief. She's tempted to pinch herself to make sure this is actually happening before she wakes up from being attacked by a demonic phallus again.

"I think we both knew we were headed down this road. There's simply no way I could have avoided it," he sighs, shaking his head in defeat.

"I guess that's code for, 'Sakura, you're utterly amazing and I couldn't resist you if I tried'?" She asks, raising a brow.

Kakashi laughs a little, but his eyes are burning with something darker, and it makes a shiver run down her spine. "Yep. You got me." She leans over, yanks down the mask and captures his lips with her own. Finally. They're a bit softer than she imagined, and she likes how he gently coaxes open her mouth with his tongue, nips her bottom lip with sharp teeth.

She pulls back, grinning and breathless, pressing her forehead against his. She's getting to see the man behind the legends, and she couldn't feel any luckier.

" the way, Kakashi?"


"Do me a favor, please - stop going out naked in public."