Solidified Evil, Congealed Sin

It was beautiful. It called to me like nothing ever had. I wanted it. I would have it.

The man wielding it had leapt aboard our ship soon after we learned that Deidara and vaporised nearly a fourth of the world. He had leapt aboard, joined swiftly by his four compatriots, and immediately attacked. He declared himself a pirate, stating that he was the mortal enemy of the marines (we had yet to change the paint job and flag) and that one of us must die before days end.

At first I didn't think much of the blade, merely noticing its uniqueness. It really got my attention when he reached me and some instinctive part of me told me to dodge. I barely avoid the blow… and it cut me. I had to double check that Kamui was active when I saw my own blood trickle down the length of the blade and felt pain at the hands of this weakling. First came fury, How dare this monkey harm me! Then I looked at the blade, really looked at it; Sharingan and Rinnegan blazing. My rinnegan tingled and suddenly I could see it for what it was. It was Solidified Evil, Congealed Sin. It was sentient, possibly, and utterly malevolent. However, even as some part of me told me to utterly destroy it, another part told me that it was similar to myself; evil to my core but capable of caring for a select few (the Akatsuki). I didn't know if that was remotely true; but I knew that I must posses that blade.

It was solid black, save the hilt, which was a golden cone. Its pommel was like an obsidian pearl, its guard a black, stylized cross; the blade starting a foot up it. It was long and straight, around three feet only including the bladed parts. (AN: Blade from Bible Black. Look it up, though there aren't many pictures and they're not the best quality, but they do exist.)

Kakuzu had broken one of his mooks necks and was already rifling through his pockets, Kisame had gleefully rendered one down to liquid offal, Hidan was had impaled himself through the chest to complete his little ritual jutsu, Itachi had merely slit the remaining ones throat with contemptuous ease.

I grinned beneath my mask; that blade would be mine! I leapt forward, dodging over a slash with a twist, and grabbed his head under the chin. I bent him backwards before driving a black needle through his head. As he collapsed to the deck I reached out, catching my new blade before it hit the ground. As soon as I made contact with it I felt a presence assert itself in my mind, trying to take control and devour my soul. I beat it down with slight difficulty, It was comparable to the Juubi, but more insidious. Unfortunately for it, I was rather used to fending off mental attacks and was no longer hindered by Madara's Genjutsu fucking with my head. Eventually the presence ceased its attempts and drew back a bit.

"Well, that's new… I've never met someone who could resist me. How interesting." the voice was dark and seductive, though it didn't actually seem like it was trying to seduce me so much as that was just its default setting.

'Interesting, I suspected sentience; but to actually be able to make contact with your wielder? Impressive.' It really was, Samehada didn't have quite that level of connection (though it was close and getting closer).

"You… You can hear me?" evidently that was unusual as well. "That… complicates things somewhat."

'Oh, why?'

"Because now you can hear me plotting. My design demands I betray my wielder, drive them to homicidal madness, consume their soul, and move on to another." the voice seemed almost apologetic about it.

'Is that right? Your "design" forces you to do so , or you simply choose to." I could feel her(?) frowning at the question.

"I… don't know."

'Well then; I have a proposition for you. Work with me for a while, then, perhaps a few days or weeks from now tell me if you'd prefer to keep wondering from host to host."

"Hmmm, alright. Only because you're interesting… I'm mean different. Yeah, different; none of my hosts have had nearly as much power as you."

Honestly I was deeply unsure if I could even remotely trust the deeply malicious blade; but something told me to try. I smiled at the long blade before turning to Kisame and Itachi; figuring they would know best how to wield blades considering Kisame is a swordsman and Itachi is… Itachi.

Kisame was thrilled at the opportunity to teach a new swordsman and Itachi had no issue with helping. Considering my own general skill with any method of killing people, the aid of two accomplished swordsman (how Itachi had such skill with a weapon he never used I didn't question), and the blade itself giving me tips on its special abilities; I was up to a decent level of competency with the dark blade before we reached the next island. She (she had confirmed her hypothesised gender) stated she would only tell me her name if she decided to stick around.

The Island we arrived at was little more than the ruins of a desert nation. We left Pein and Konan to guard the ship as we explored for a while, finding nothing but hostile life and the dessicated corpse of what appeared to be a once thriving civilization. The only (debatable) sentient live we found on the whole island attacked us on sight. It was a large emaciated man with a notable scar going across his face horizontally. His left hand had been replaced with a golden now blood stained hook, coated in dried blood. His blood shot eyes were filled with an intense madness, not a hint of sanity remaining. He wore the tattered remains of what may have been a large coat and expensive clothing. He lashed out at us with blasts of sand, often taking the form of blades or mini-sandstorms.

We dodged in various directions, Deidara taking to the skies on a clay bird with Sasori riding bitch behind him. I merely phased through his attacks and started walking towards him. Evidently his inability to harm me enraged the maddened tatters of his mind and he become even more wild in his attacking. Sasori rained needles down on him like a torrential rain of pinty, poisoned death. Instead of even trying to dodge, the barely

Fear entered his twitching eyes when Kisame fired a water bullet at him and he actually attempted to dodge. The blast hit him in the hook rather than the chest where Kisame had aimed. He cried out like a wounded animal as the hook shattered, revealing the mauled remains of what was, perhaps, once a hand.

By this point I had reached him, having decided to stop playing around when Zetsu was nearly consumed by a wave of sand. I lashed out with my new blade, carving a huge gash into his chest as he barely managed to almost dodge. He leapt back, looking like a cornered animal, a beaten dog.

His rabid continence twisted in horror, head twitching every which way, looking for an escape yet somehow not seeing one. He paused, head tilted to the right at an almost unnatural angle. He suddenly fell to his knees, gripping his head with hand and stump and screaming out a horrid, high oscillating pitched howl of pained madness. "It won't stop! It won't fucking stop!" he kept punching himself in the forehead land clawing at his scalp; ranting unintelligibly to himself. Suddenly his head snapped up and he locked eyes with me even as my blades poison began to corrupt and corrode his body. "Kiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllll mmmeeeeeeee!" he begged, voice ragged and pleading.

I frowned, moving to comply when his body suddenly stiffened. "There's... something in him. Something like me." My frown deepened at my blade's words. I leapt back as his body suddenly split open down the middle, blood and sand shooting from his nearly bifurcated body. Somehow his eyes swiveled to lock with mine. The horror and pain in them was haunting, even to one as twisted as me.

"Help me…" he whispered brokenly before his body was torn in two completely, each half sent flying in opposite directions. In his place stood a figure made completely of swirling blood and sand.

It began to laugh, its voice like a sandpaper on broken glass."Gak Gak Gak Gak Gak! I LIVE! That fool tried to wi-" he was cut off by Orochimaru decapitating him.

The white snake scowled, spitting on the creature's corpse. "That… has to be one of the single most disturbing things I've ever seen. And coming from me; that means a hell of a lot." we all nodded, turning to head back to the ship before that disgusting laugh drew our attention back to the supposedly dead creature.

It was standing where it had fallen, the blood of its former host forming intricate lines radiating from the pools that were its eyes. A nasty facsimile of a grin had taken shape on it's mostly blank face. 'Hmph, I am the desert. I CANNOT DIE. Fools, thinking you could take on dehydration, out last the hand of time?" it leapt at us, bring a wave of sand stretching from horizon to horizon. Unlike most, who would have dropped to their knees from the awe inspiring attack; we, veterans of a war that claimed the world, merely acted. Deidara was throwing massive amounts of bombs at the attack, Kisame and Sasori were shooting as much water as they could at the sheer wall of sand, Itachi was using Amaterasu, HIdan was using his little known or used (and almost utterly untrained) affinity for wind to cut huge gouges into the tidal wave of sand, Orochimaru had gone into is full hydra mode, and was sending absolutely huge streams of acidic poison. Everyone was blasting it with all they had, our various skill slowing the inexorable wave only minutely, for we were fighting the desert itself.

Everyone except me, that is. While my compatriots slowly backed up, I sprinted forward. I knew, just knew, that if I could kill this fucker before the wave reaches us it would stop. I leapt high into the air halfway to the enormous surging tide of sand, my blade over my head held in both hands. I swung it down, the length extending for miles and splitting the wave into to as a wordless roar drew itself from my throat. I settled on the ground in a half crouch as the sand slowly turned to a black, tar like substance spreading from the point I cut it. Out of the rapidly melting sand stumbled a figure. It was missing an arm, black sludge consuming its body from the impromptu amputation. It slowly stumbled towards me, remaining arm extended towards me. It dropped to its knees before me, its single remaining bloody red orb staring up at me as the other side of its head melted down its side. I stared impassively down at it for a few moments as the tar consumed its body; before drawing back my blade with one hand, and taking its head from its shoulders.

I turned back to my friends (and yes, I have just decided that we are friends) as the creature's body fell to the ground with more of dull splash than a thud. The rest of the Akatsuki seemed only mildly surprised, many having large grins on their faces; most were simply neutral. "Let's get outta here. I've recently decided I hate the desert… and sand in general." They nodded and, not wanting to take to long, I kamui-ed us back to the ship. Nagato, merely raised an eyebrow at our sudden appearance before jerking a thumb over his shoulder. I followed his direction and saw the looted wreckage of what appeared to be a marine fleet.

As we sailed away, Kakuzu and I looking over the loot we had gained from Nagato's little massacre, we heard a loud bang. My head shot up, mimicked by almost everyone. I turned away, mostly uninterested safe to assign Kisame and Itachi to investigate as maniacal laughter filled the air. Deidara had shot a small flying ship out of the air.

My attention was brought back to the sky when a strange crackling noise got my attention. My jaw dropped at what I saw. The sky had turned to pulsating blue electricity. The sheer amount of energy caused e everyone's hair to stand on end. Itachi and Kisame flickered aboard the ship, looking slightly crispy. I stared at the sea of lightning above us as it slowly began to gather to a point. Just before the lightning struck, I kamui-ed the entire ship into my dimension.

We appeared in the strange void, gripping our ears as the echo of thunder like the world had never seen rang in our ears. When I finally regained my bearings I turned to stare at the duo I had sent out, "What. Did. You. Do?" I asked, false calm permeating my voice.

Even Itachi looked somewhat sheepish as Kisame spoke, "Ya see, we walked over to the sinking ship and started looting the place. The damn thing was made of solid, fucking gold, by the way." Kakuzu suddenly looks much less reproachful as Kisame tosses a scroll in front of him, "We were striping the place dry when this rude motherfucker came outta no where and blasted us with lighting. He was weird, had a giant piercing on his back that rose above his head and had what looked like drums on it, and his earlobes hung down to his fuckin' waste! He looked kinda like that guy in the desert; ya know, emaciated and deranged… though h seemed like he wasn't holding together nearly as well as the sand guy. He was probably going to zap us again with his sealless jutsu but Itachi caught him in a genjutsu. After that we just slit his throat and went back to striping the place… until a hand made of lightning tore the fiucker's head of and crawled out his neck like Orochimaru shedding his skin. We decided to run when the sky started turning yellow."

I frown, "I'm gonna go kill him now." I said before reappearing floating in mid air where the ship… and the ocean had been. Evidently that bolt of lighting had been hot enough to evaporate a huge chunk of the ocean; causing this area to be in a little crater of water where some miles away a gigantic round water fall of boiling water rapidly tried and failed to refill the hole. I was facing someone who had just permanently altered the face of the planet. I grimaced as I looked around, powerful eyes helping me look through the steam that was probably thicker than I was and probably hot enough to melt me in a second. My rinnegan tingled and suddenly I could see a strange energy source a short distance away. I flew towards him at great speed; I needed this to be over fast. Normally I'd just Kamui all this scalding hot steam away, but now my comrades were sheltering in my dimension.

I moved silently, drawing back my blade (which I had conveniently noticed could still cut while I I was phased out… yet was still unaffected by everything. I had little less than thirteen minutes (having trained my Kamui until it could last for sixteen) to kill this bastard and get out or I'll be melted by the steam. I drew back my blade, aiming to finish this in one blow. Just before I took his head, he whirled around at unnatural speed and blocked the blow with a blade made of lightning.

11 Minutes. I ground my blade against his, angling it down towards his chest as his corroded. Hey of lightning shot ineffectively through my chest as my blade lengthens suddenly; almost catching him before he flashed away. I grit my teeth slightly, this was far too much like fighting Minato.

I frowned, pulling him towards my with the rinnegan as he discarded his nearly totally consumed sword, aiming to drive him into my blade. He apparently had the same idea, raising a lightning sword longer than my own to meet me. We clashed, our blades skewering each other's hearts… before we passed right through each other.

10 Minutes. We whirled around, both our faces (or facsimile thereof) displaying shock (though mine was obviously hidden) before it rapidly morphed to anger. I leapt forward, not having the time to be careful, and swung with animal like ferocity and machine like efficiency. Feral smirk crossed my face as I saw that my attacks were having an effect, even the attempt to run him through; black sludge I now knew was simply called The Corruption was spreading from everywhere my blade passed through him. Neither I nor my blade have any idea why I can't actually hit him like we could the sandman… wait, did we ever actually hit Sandman? For all I know he just had a greater reaction to The Corruption.

9 Minutes. He was starting to wear down, much of his body was consumed by now. However, he had started to randomly zap about, often dodging blows. One good thing I had found was that once an area was overcome by The Corruption, I could cut it. And it hurt him. Bad.

8 Minutes. He was becoming more sluggish as the sludge overtook him, making it easier to hit him. To compensate he had started using the steams conductivity to greatly increase his speed, somehow having not realised that he could do before. One second I was kicking his ass, the next he was every where.

5 Minutes. I could feel the steam now, heat like no other bearing down on my incorporeal form. Perhaps it was all mental; regardless, I felt it. I growled, throwing my arms out to the side, "Almighty Push!" and the steam was blown back. Unfortunately it was already rapidly flowing back in. My opponent was dazed and confused, most of his body being corrupted by now. U leap forward and engaged him in a duel, surprised that he still had it in him to block no matter how poorly he did so.

3 Minutes. I swung, arms filled with desperate anger. My blades sliced clean through his own… and went on through his neck. His body fell to the distant earth as I vanished in a swirling distortion.

I arrived back on the ship to see my crew loitering about, training and chatting. "Well, good news is that lightning dick is dead. Bad news is that he vaporized a hundred miles of ocean and it may be over a month until the steam cools enough to not strip flesh from bone." groans met my declaration. I simply nodded along commiseratingly. I would've tried to work my way through the steam piecemeal until I got out, but it's so damn thick I would surely get lost without a clear signal like I had in the fight with sparky.