AN: Sorry it's been so long, real med school got in the way. Still waiting on an Avery. Let me know if you like it.
Syzygy
Jackson can't help but watch her with the trauma guy, watch her take a step back when he moves to put his hand on her back. They're fighting, probably still fighting about that surgery, even when Yang had saved the patient's life.
"Avery, Yang – with me."
It's Altman, the new cardio goddess. Jackson wonders if Yang can see it like he does, whatever there is between Hunt and the new girl; because she's smart, way smarter than he is and she knows it, but he wonders if she wants to see it. How Altman looks at Hunt like he has been missing from her, all big wide puppy eyes, and how Hunt is just simply…there. Hovering.
Jackson Avery knows people, and he knows what is happening here. Jackson Avery can bide his time.
He wonders if she notices that he's hovering, too. Jackson's hovering, too.
He chose her. Owen chose her, he chose Cristina. He's devoted to her, to Cristina, he is big trauma head over army boots in love with her and she is still thinking involved. She's still thinking Avery, and those stupid blue-green eyes.
This isn't involved, it's commitment and it's real and Jackson stupid eyes Avery is still there. He's always just…there. She doesn't mind it, that's what she keeps telling herself. He's a good surgeon. One look from her, and he gets it. He knows what she's thinking; put the two of them in an OR together, and they know what to do. Where Owen is all bluster where Cristina is precision and instinct, and Avery knows how she works because their hands work the same.
Badass. That's what he always says. Not that she needs to hear it anyway, but it matters.
"Shut up."
"If your mom dies, you'll feel a lot of things. First, you'll feel like, uh, you could have done more to help her, but it's not true. You did everything you could. You won't feel that way, but remember me telling you this. You did everything you could. And it'll hurt every time you think of her. But over time, it will hurt less and less, and eventually, you'll remember her, and...it'll only hurt a little."
There's a little girl, scared for her mother, who falls (God knows how) into Cristina's care. Avery finds them – because of course it's him, of course the universe decided to play with her some more – and his stupid eyes soften and she may not care much for many people but she knows she has surprised him. One look, and she knows. The kid's mother is dead, and it falls to Cristina to explain it. Some wounds never heal, and just because she's eight it doesn't mean she shouldn't know that now only to save the pain for later. There's a can of worms she doesn't want to open again.
" Where's the little girl?"
"Uh, Social Services came. We put her to bed in a patient room. Her dad should be here by the time she wakes up."
"Good. You were great with her today."
"Thanks."
"So, when did your mom die?
"She didn't."
"Your dad, then?" Silence. " I'm sorry if that's, like, too personal. It was just really clear from the way you were talking to her today. It's been a long day. I just thought you might want to talk about it."
Her heart was pounding in her ears. "That's very insightful of you. You're a super, super sensitive man. You know, let me tell you what you saw today. I reflectively listened to a patient's concerns. I spoke to her in a language she could understand. I clearly stated the possible complications and probable outcomes. That's all you saw today... me kicking patient sensitivity's ass, so go be someone else's dish rag."
That's him, forever trying to get under her skin. Because she's good – very good – and that skin is very well thickened but sometimes someone sees under it and Avery did, with one look. So she knows he's trying to be nice or whatever but he's just always freaking there and talking about feelings with those stupid eyes, and she doesn't want to think about that because he's opened that one particular can of worms and if she finds Owen she'll be alright. Her heart is in her throat, memories decades old brought to the surface, and she needs to find Owen because she will not cry here, dammit. Because that's what committed means, she can talk to Owen and he can fix it and make it alright again. Right?