This is my first time writing for Haikyuu! I'm sitting with the wiki page open to make sure that I get the character names straight ^.^' I thought I'd try out something a little angsty for my first one-shot for these guys.
I wanted to apologize if any of the last name/first name/nickname switches seem odd. I did my best to balance it well and use first and last accordingly if it seems awkward I'm sorry and a review with some advice would be great!
Rape mentions (nothing explicit but heavy implications multiple times, deals with post trauma as well)
Help Me In The After
It took Suga and Daichi a collective five seconds to notice that something was wrong with Hinata. The boy was the last to practice and while he wasn't late it was still unusual for him not to be racing for first with Kageyama. Neither said anything as he waved a hand in apology and headed up to the changing room to get dressed.
"What's wrong with Hinata?" Noya asked.
"Not sure," Suga watched as Hinata climbed the stairs. "Should one of us go check on him Daichi?"
"I'll go!" Noya said and was already hurrying up the stairs. "Leave it to his senpai," he flashed the parent duo a grin and a thumbs up and then disappeared inside of the changing room. Hinata was squatting down next to his bag, he seemed to be lazily removing his practice clothes, taking much longer than Noya had seen him before.
"Oi Hinata," Noya called still his fiery ball of enthusiasm.
"Oh...Nishinoya-senpai," Hinata looked up at him as he stripped his school shirt off. "Sorry I didn't think practice had started yet."
"Naw," Noya waved him off. "We haven't started just yet but you know Daichi and Suga, they're always worrying. They thought something might be wrong so as your senpai I naturally had to volunteer to come and check on my Hinata-kun."
"Oh, that's nice of you Nishinoya-senpai. But I'm ok, tell Daichi and Sugawara not to worry. I'll be down in a minute." Hinata's practice shirt was already on, and Noya was finally starting to think that maybe Daichi had been right after all.
"I could just wait with you Hinata," his voice had fallen too, it wasn't as hyperactive instead he was concerned.
"That's ok Nishinoya-senpai, I don't want to keep them worrying."
"Ok," he muttered kicking at the ground before leaving the changing room. Hinata sighed in relief. He took his pants off and rubbed at his tailbone. He was still sore from what had happened yesterday. He thought there probably weren't any marks but he didn't really want to find out by someone seeing them, so he pulled his longer practice shorts on and made sure the shirt felt like it covered his back even when he jumped. In reality he didn't want to go downstairs at all. Between Suga and Daichi worrying, probably Noya and Asahi too now that he had acted so off with Noya, he cursed. Them combined with Kageyama's unpredictable temper and Tsuki's bad habit of teasing everyone relentlessly. Hinata just wanted to stay up in the small room and curl into a ball. Curling into a ball was all he had wanted to do since it had happened. He sighed that wasn't entirely true, curl into a ball and...play volleyball. And now he actually had a chance to do that, he couldn't blow it. So he took a deep breath and steadied himself, he walked down the stairs towards the gym. By now they actually had started and everyone was jogging around the court. He hesitated for a moment outside of the doors, what would Hinata do, what would Hinata do? It was odd to be thinking about what he himself would do. But now he was thinking of himself in the before and after. After Hinata wanted to quietly go in, slip into place and jog like everyone else, slow paced and steady. But before Hinata, he wouldn't have done that, he would have ran in apologizing and sprinted to make up what he had missed.
Ok, well it was time to get back to the before. He took a deep breath, plastered his best smile on his face and ran into the gym, legs pumping furiously.
"Sorry senpais!" he hollered waving at Daichi and Ukai. "I'll catch up," he grinned and sprinted in front, making his way quickly around the court. "Oi Kageyama wait for me eh?"
"Ya right," his best friend scoffed smirking at him. "Catch up," he challenged and increased his own speed as well. After Hinata felt a little disheartened and for two steps his speed slowed down.
No, he was frustrated with himself before Hinata would have pushed himself even harder. He worked his muscles roughly and challenged himself to move faster. Through the entire practice, all he was thinking was before Hinata before Hinata before Hinata. But when he went up for jumps he was a little short, when he shut his eyes to spike the freak fast they opened just a crack, when he tried to receive he was off balance and fell after each pass. When Ukai announced that the team could get ready to go home, Hinata finished his part of cleaning quickly and then ran upstairs to grab his stuff, he didn't even bother changing, not even out of his court shoes which was a mistake. He just sprinted from the gym.
"Hinata!" his team called after him, he didn't look back but if he had he would have seen every member scrambling to rip his court shoes off and swap for their running shoes. But he just bolted. He was learning a hard lesson and it was tearing him apart. He was crying a rain storm as he realized that once you're after you can't go back to before. He ran past the convenience store they usually stopped at, past Daichi and Sugawara's stop, ran past where Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita usually split off, past where Tsukishima and Yamaguchi both split off, the street where Kageyama should have turned but didn't, he ran past everyone's splitting point until he stood at the beginning of the mountain range that Kageyama usually left him at to continue home alone. He stopped and sobbed, he brought his arm up to cover his eyes as he stood in defeat. Because today could never be yesterday, and yesterday...something horrible happened.
He was frozen, wasn't really sure how to move away from where he stood now. He kept his arm over his eyes and stood on the sidewalk. He hadn't even brought his bike so he would have to walk the rest of the way home. He didn't want to go back into his town alone anymore though, didn't want to pass by the entrance he saw every day, the safe place. He wanted to stay. To go back. He wanted to stay with Daichi or Asahi or even Tsukishima. He didn't want to return to that place where he felt alone. I'll find you again Hinata he heard the senior's voice say. You were too good to let go of. Can't believe you should've been at my school to start with. Hinata shivered, thank god for Karasuno's volleyball reputation, thank god for a break in the day where he didn't have to be scared that this guy could find him. I'll find you again, and next time nexttimenexttimenexttime I won't be alone. Hinata screamed in frustration and unreleased fear and angst, he couldn't handle this, couldn't handle not wanting to go home. To telling his loving concerned mother that 'practice had run late, sorry'. Didn't want to slowly and painfully walk up the stairs, trying not to vocalize any of his pain. Do a quick smartphone search to find that a warm salt bath should help alleviate some pain and help speed up any healing. He couldn't go home, he shook his head over and over.
"Hinata!" he whipped his head around and saw the entire volleyball team running his way. He gulped, he passed all of their streets, he already made it past where they should have turned away. Even Tsukki who usually didn't care about anything was with them, and he looked...concerned. Hinata couldn't do this, he bolted off, he knew the mountain path better than any of them and was in great shape from biking its inclines. It only happened yesterday, he hadn't even come to terms with it, how was he supposed to say anything to anyone else.
"Hinata please stop!" Daichi yelled after him.
"Hinata we're only worried!" Noya called out as each team member struggled to increase their pace.
"Hinata we're a family!" Suga called. That echoed loudly in Hinata's ears. The team was coasting through the incline but as the mountain sank back down and Hinata easily managed the shuffle down without losing much speed, most of them had to considerably slow themselves in order to safely make it down. As Hinata looked back up he saw that Kageyama had refused to sacrifice speed for safety. Hinata kept going but he was worried for his best friend. Kageyama just leave me...just be safe...you're more important. He reached a flat ground in the mountains and took off. The others were about a hill behind but Hinata couldn't count on his head start too much, as he made it to the forested area around his village he felt more relaxed, none of them knew which house was his so if he could just get there-
Fear shot through him like a paralyzer. He felt a hand grab his left wrist and jerk him into the trees. He felt his right wrist soon get captured as well but he didn't totally spiral until a third arm snaked around his waist. I won't be alone.
"Ka-Kageyama!" Hinata screamed before a fourth hand clamped over his mouth.
"You said this stretch he came over alone," the first boy said.
"He does," the senior who had grabbed him yesterday confirmed. "I've watched him for weeks now baka, no one is coming for him over those hills."
"Let's take him into the woods a bit to be sure?" a second unknown guy said. And that's what they did, he couldn't really look around much to see how many of them there were, but one had his hand over Hinata's mouth and soon a blindfold blocked his vision. He started to cry. Who knew there was an after-after.
"I heard it Daichi-senpai!" Kageyama was furious.
"No one is questioning that," Sugawara put a hand on Kageyama's shoulder. "We just don't know which way he went, this is a big town and none of us are familiar with it."
"If he wanted to see you so badly why would he just disappear after that?" Tsukishima asked wiping his brow of sweat.
"Did anyone bring their phone?" Yamaguchi asked. "I really need to tell my parents I'm going to be so late."
"I only have my practice clothes, that's all I brought," Kinoshita said and everyone nodded their agreement.
"I have my phone," Tsukki pulled it out and handed it to Yamaguchi to make the call.
"Daichi," Noya interrupted tapping the captain on the shoulder. The captain turned to face him. "There are some guys over there we could ask," Noya pointed into the woods to a group of five guys who looked about their age.
"What do we say exactly?" Sugawara asked.
"Have you seen our hyperactive ball of sunshine might work?" Noya pushed.
"A spaz with orange hair would most likely work better," Kageyama said already headed into the woods.
"This is his home town they might know him by name," Tanaka followed with Sugawara and Daichi.
"Oh god," Sugawara's face lit up like a firework as the noises they were making became clearer as they got closer. "Daichi we can't interrupt...that."
"Eh...I'll just...ask if they saw someone," Daichi said patting Sugawara. "You can stay back Suga."
"I doubt they noticed anything like that," Tanaka snickered.
"We're wasting time, Tanaka's right," Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose.
My, my friends Hinata thought. My friends are here. But they don't know, they don't know I'm here. Help me, help me please! Hinata gathered all of his courage and bit down as hard as he could onto the guy who's hand was covering his mouth. The guy cursed and pulled his hand away.
"Help! Help me please! Senpais! Kageyama!"
"Baka!" the senior from before scolded quickly and bolted. The other four weren't really sure what to do next.
"Hinata?" Daichi was confused before he looked over.
"Hinata's over with them?" Tanaka said. "I didn't really think he was the type to have an or-"
"He said help," Kageyama was already running over.
Daichi and Tanaka cursed and followed.
"Tsukki, Ashai get everyone over here now!" Suga yelled.
"Stay with him," Kageyama had punched the senior who had been closest to Hinata off.
"Tobio," Hinata called out.
Kageyama paused in his pursuit of the senior who ran. "Shoyo," Kageyama dropped to where he was and hugged him tightly. "I can't let him get away. I won't, but I will come back." He released Hinata and sprinted quickly.
"Noya follow Kageyama and help catch that bastard," Daichi pointed in a direction and Noya took off. "Asahi, Tanaka, Tsukki," Daichi cracked his knuckles. "I'll need your help, you too Ennoshita, Narita, Kinoshita and Yamaguchi. Suga take Hinata to his house, we'll join you when we're done here."
Hinata flinched at Daichi's dark glare.
"He's not going to do anything to you Hinata," Sugawara bent down and easily lifted Hinata. He brought him to stand first, pulled his shorts up, and shirt down. After Hinata was fully clothed again he lifted him into his arms.
"Eh, Suga you don't have to-"
"I know that Hinata, but...we've already let you down today. Please allow me the privilege to carry you at least right now. I'm not fast enough to catch the scum that ran off, and I don't have it in me to punish the other guys who attacked you. But I care about you and I can take care of you, can you let me do that?" Hinata nodded and moved to rest on Suga's chest.
"Hinata," Suga said as they made their way to Hinata's home. Hinata was pointing down streets to direct Suga. He looked up at Suga when he called his name though. "Was that...was that the first time that happened to you?" Hinata looked down. "Hinata we only want to help, please, you're like family to all of us. We're worried sick," Hinata was surprised by the pain in Suga's voice but was still reluctant to say anything. He looked up startled when he felt something wet hit his cheek. "Hinata, trust us," Suga whispered, he was crying, crying on Hinata's behalf, or maybe because Hinata was being a little shit.
"It had never been five of them...yesterday, the one who ran. He ambushed me in one of the streets on my way home."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Suga asked.
"Everything hurt Suga," Hinata was starting to cry now. "It felt like he ripped me apart and I didn't know where the pieces went. I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't get air." He clutched onto Suga's shirt. "I wanted to talk to all of you but I just felt like it would bother you. We're there to play volleyball after all not, not bother with this kind of stuff."
"Hinata if Noya had gotten beat up by someone at school wouldn't you want him to tell you?"
"Of course!" Hinata answered automatically.
"And if Asahi was getting bullied by someone wouldn't you want him to say something so you could help?"
"Absolutely," Hinata nodded furiously.
"And if Tsukki failed a test and was upset, should he tell us or stay quiet?"
"If it's bothering him he should tell us, so we can cheer him up."
"And if Kageyama had a bad day, how would you feel if he didn't talk with you about it?"
"I'd feel like...like...I'd feel useless like he didn't think I could help even if I had known."
"So why do you think none of us feel that way about you Hinata? What happened to you was worse than getting beaten up or bullied or a failing mark or a bad day. Yet you wouldn't let us in, wouldn't let us help."
"I...I'm sorry Sugawara-senpai! I didn't mean to cut all of you out! I'll talk with all of you forever, I promise," Hinata was trying to wipe the steadily falling tears away.
"And we'll be there for you forever Hinata, I promise," he kissed the top of Hinata's head. I promise, I promise, I promise. It made Hinata cry harder, it made him smile too.
With some strategy and difficulty, Suga managed to sneak himself and Hinata into Hinata's bathroom, mostly unnoticed. Natsu, his little sister, had seen them and Suga, angled Hinata away, in bloody shorts and tears that would have been an unwelcome explanation. He lied and said that the volleyball club was having a sleepover week and today was Hinata's turn. Hinata had just twisted his ankle a little funny on the way over, just needed to soak it, then he'd be good as new.
"You lie too well," Hinata said as Suga shut them into the bathroom.
"You'd rather I told your little sister the truth?" Hinata shook his head. "I figured, I need to go downstairs and call Tsukki and tell the team how to get here, ok?" Hinata whimpered but nodded. "I won't be far, and no one is getting up here without me knowing." Hinata nodded. Sugawara went downstairs and Hinata stood, took off his bloody shorts and underwear and started running a bath. In a moment of morbid curiosity, he faced his backside to the mirror, spread his cheeks apart wincing at the tug, his hole was raw and bloody but nothing seemed...really wrong. Hinata retrieved the salt he had hidden in the back of the bathroom cupboard. He threw some into the bath and waited for it to fill up.
"Hinata," Suga's voice drifted through the bathroom door. "Can I come in?"
"Uh hang on," Hinata said quickly hiding the bloody clothes and getting into the bath and shutting the curtain. "Ya, you can."
Suga opened the door and seemed to hesitate. "I didn't know you were in the bath, sorry. I'll come back, I'll be right outside ok?"
"No," Hinata said suddenly. "Please, please don't leave me alone. I was alone last time and I don't want to be again."
"Ok," Suga agreed. "I'll stay right here."
As soon as Tsukki had gotten off the phone with Suga and had the directions to Hinata's house Kageyama was itching to run ahead. Daichi and Asahi were waiting for the authorities while the rest of the group were making their way to Hinata's. When the house was in sight Kageyama ran the eighty feet. He opened the door, not even thinking to knock.
"Sugawara," he called as lowly as his pounding heart allowed.
"Up here Kageyama," he heard Suga's voice from up the stairs. He had his shoes off in no time and was quickly making his way up the stairs. He saw Suga in the doorway.
"Where is he?" Kageyama asked. Sugawara pointed into the room and Kageyama rushed inside.
"Shoyo," Kageyama was instantly bending over and pulling the soaking wet boy into his arms.
"T-Tobio," Hinata stuttered but hugged Kageyama back quickly, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.
"I'm sorry it took so long to get everything sorted and to get me back here," Kageyama said.
"It's ok, I had Suga." Hinata was steadily inhaling Kageyama's scent in deep restful breaths. He thought that perhaps it would be awkward since he was in a bath but instead he felt comfortable.
"Ah, it sounds like the rest have caught up," Suga said from the doorway. "I'll close this and go get everything set up, Hinata do you have any blankets or something for us?" Hinata nodded and told Suga where to find extra bedding, they had some for Natsu's sleepovers with her friends.
The door shut and Kageyama suddenly looked more uncomfortable than he had previously. "What's wrong?" Hinata asked.
"It's just uh...you're naked," his cheeks were a blaring maroon.
"Oh uh ya well...I'm in the bath. Salt is supposed to help," he mumbled looking away and breaking eye contact. He suddenly heard a fizzing. "Hey what are you?" he turned and saw Kageyama upending the salt he had left on the counter into the tub. Kageyama shot him a glare that told him to be still and stop complaining.
A few minutes passed by in silence, Kageyama got seated against the wall of the bathroom.
"Everyone was really great," Hinata mumbled. Kageyama turned to look at him.
"Ya of course, what did you expect?" Hinata didn't answer he just shrugged. "We all care about you Hinata, you know that ya?"
"Do you?" Hinata turned to look at him, cheeks turning red. Kageyama didn't answer right away. He shifted from his spot next to the tub and leaned over it. He ran his fingers through Hinata's moist hair and pushed it away.
"I was hoping you would know already that I cared about you. I just...I'm not the best at showing that."
"That's ok," Hinata smiled his stunningly bright sunshine grin. "I'll look harder from now on." Kageyama hesitated before smiling also. Good, he whispered and kissed Hinata's lips gently. Hinata's eyes shot open and stared at Kageyama's closed lids. He closed his own eyes and tossed his soaking arms over Kageyama and pulled him closer.
"Your arms are wet," Kageyama yelled pulling away.
"You caught me off guard," Hinata shot back.
"That doesn't mean you drench me."
"I wasn't trying to I was just trying to get closer."
"Hinata, Kageyama is everything ok?" Sugawara asked through the door.
"Fine!" both boys yelled quickly. They looked at the closed door, heard the footsteps leave and then smiled at each other.
"I'll always be here," Kageyama said.
"I know that," Hinata confirmed. "I'll close my eyes every time, and trust that you'll find me."
AN: Reviews always help :) can't wait to do my next one-shot for these two. Let me know if you have anything else you'd like to see for them. Check out my Levi X Eren fic if you're into Attack on Titan.