Disclaimer: All characters of Assassination Classroom belongs to Yūsei Matsui.
All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time.
It was a profounding line that got me thinking as I lay in my bed and spent my remaining time here on earth.
It seems strange to start a story with an ending, no doubt about it.
But at the same time these lines gives me strength to face what's about to come on the other side where we do not know what's on it.
After all no one really knows what happens after death, only dead people knows.
And soon I'll be one of those dead people who will reach the other side where the souls depart.
It seems terrifying at first after all who wants to die and leave their loved ones behind, right?
Yet all I feel is relief that finally I got to rest after all the pain and suffering I endure to hold on to life. Finally I was allowed to let go of life and have the rest I deserved. After many begging and pleas to my family to end the machine that's keeping me alive, with many tears and emotional goodbye they finally agreed to let me go.
Finally I was free.
Looking back, before my death sentence came, I knew that something bad was coming, called it my intuition. It all begins when I give up my passion on dancing. Even though I am old I could still dance as if I was still in my prime. Dancing is also the bridge where I meet my wife for the first time.
When I give up dancing it broke my heart but it is expected to happen because of my old age. I was still stubborn though and continue dancing until I can't anymore. I developed asthma on my sixties that cause me to be rushed on the hospital as my breathing became labored after long hours of dancing which makes me collapsed. Asthma would not have stopped me in pursuing my passion yet a few years later I began to have trouble walking.
I was in my seventies when I knew it was time, it was more than aging but I knew there was something wrong. I was always weary and I always dream of dying.
I met lots of doctors as my health starts deteriorating. Many test were done until they found out I contacted a terminal disease. Nothing could be done about it as there is no cure.
I was in a state of shocked and still feeling numb as the knowledge of my coming death have not yet sinked in my head. When I come out and look outside I was stunned on the normalcy of that day.
Millions thought rushed through me, why did the world not yet stop? Don't they know I was about to die?
But the world does not care; it would not stop for a sickly old man as it proceeds in life. It will not take noticed on my state because the world would still continue on with or without me on it.
With this realization, I proceeded on with my life despite not knowing what to do on using the remaining time I have left.
I seek for answers as my illness took me over day by day, week by week. Despite of my disease I still continue teaching as a college professor, the job I have for 25 years. Even if I was weak and slowly dying I don't want to give up teaching, the only thing I have left after giving up dancing.
No one would have expected that this old sickly man is a prominent doctor with years of experience on his belt as a professor and have his own several well respected books. I was proud of my achievements and even more proud in sharing what I know to the younger generations.
It is with great pride that I was able to nurture these students and give them the tools they needed in facing the world. Even if some of them have lost touch and proceeded with their own life, it is my joy to be a part of their life as their teacher figure.
That's why despite my weakening body I still continue teaching until the end. Giving up is not in my vocabulary after all. Giving up may have been easy and perhaps I could have taken the easy way out but thoughts of wasting time on grief and denial would have done no good in the end.
Despite facing many embarrassing ordeals because of my health I face them head on, allowing myself to be helped even if I'm in this age. I might be stubborn but I know when I needed help. I never shy things away despite having an uncomfortable situation. I gladly welcome help and thanking others for helping.
Others don't mind my situation even though I was a bother sometimes, helping me walk, or helping me to pee in the bathroom, my students of mine didn't think bad of it and I was surprised for their understanding and they themselves are surprised that they would do it.
It was a wonderful year full of lessons. Some laughed. Some cried. As a teacher and as a person I listened to them with open mindedness with a heart that listens and sympathise. A year full of memories and lessons in life.
I spent my time with my loved ones; connect with others, a time spent well with them. I should have been sad from what's to come but all I want is to be filled with love and happiness as I reached the end of my spectrum.
Unfortunately though when I thought it was about time that I was going to die. My loved ones brought me to the hospital, without regard to my wishes to not lengthen my time any longer using the machines that the hospital uses, as I believe that if it's my time then it is time for me.
I do not want to spent my remaining time in the hospital but instead I want to be with my loved ones when I die but it seems I can't no longer say it again as I have a hard time speaking. If only I was assertive but I'm too tired already what I want is to rest.
Thus, I spent my last hour on a hospital even though I was suffering, even though I was not satisfied with my life being preserved like this. Yet I was glad when death finally came upon me. Even if I do not want to leave my loved ones I am glad that I'm finally relieved.
It was sudden.
A blinding flash of light.
Up until this point I thought that was it, yet I never knew that the most unusual part of my life is yet to unfold.
Hey guys! I'm not really well adept in writing stories and stuff but I will try my best in writing from now on. If you find grammatical errors or mistakes there or so. Please forgive my inadequacies in writing since I'm not really used to it.
I am proud how this first chapters turns out. I tried many kinds of situation on what age does the best person to have a good view point on and surprisingly I'm more comfortable if what I write is about an old person. I wonder what that says about me.
I'm really tired of self inserts dying because of car accident reason, they are too overused. I wanted to try new things from now on and I believe a reincarnation story won't make sense unless you don't know the past of that person.
Others may think its pointless knowing a dead person's past but I don't think it's that pointless. Reincarnation happen because there are still stuff that we need to know about life before we truly passed on. That's why I wanted to write a story where a person learned lessons on his second life that he didn't learned in his first life. It might be hard to write that but I'm determined to do it.
Thank you for giving time reading this!