I don't own OUAT.

This noise is horrendous. She has to struggle to even think that. And the noise is dim, far way- like she is sinking in a bath and washing her hair, someone calling her name from outside the door. It isn't the loudness of it anyways- it is not loud, but shrill- it is the emotion behind it. The way it sounds like someone's voice breaking, shattering. How it is somewhere in the middle of a sob and rage.

Emma. She is exhausted in three ways at least, her body protesting against her efforts to stay awake, her mind so exhausted she feels almost empty like anyone casting a dark curse would and thinking has never felt so challenging before. But Emma-

She doesn't know how but she manages to open her eyes a little.

They zero in on the thing that matters- not the fighting, not Snow at her back, not the magic that is threatening to make this all go horribly wrong but the slumped figure in that chair. She tastes blood when she licks too-dry lips, croaks out " Emma". She screams in her head again, at the stupid arm that won't move , that won't point out what these idiots are missing.

There is a sob somewhere behind her and she is too tired to feel anything, whether it would be loathing or that impossibility she thinks she might have felt these past weeks. She can't ever remember phsycially hurting like this, not even when her mother was in one of her moods, but she grits her teeth and forces her hand to reach for behind her. " Emma" she croaks again,

and she tries to push the person behind her away.

She only barely manages to keep her eyes open. Every part of her wants to sleep, to stop the pain and exhaustion but Emma is still there. Her heart is beating too fast and she is nauseous; Emma is paler than should be possible. She wants to rip someone heart out and find out the best ways to hurt them: there are bruises hidden beneath Emma's shirt, and blood beneath the curls at her sleep. For a moment, her magic actually rushes through her veins, ready to rip apart who dared to hurt her Emma-

then she curses her own weakness as her body revolts and she feels the cold floor against her cheek.

She is still forcing her eyes to stay open, and keeping them on Emma but she is vaguely aware of what she is going on. She can hear furious growls, clang! and soft whoosh! of arrows. The air is constrictive and electric with magic, and she tastes blood. There is another noise, possibly a scream- but it is too soft for that. Far too-

She sees a flash of blue and a sword falling to the ground. She gasps, her eyes watering, as she struggles to push herself upright. Work, damn it, WORK Her magic won't disobey, she feels like she is lighting a candle but there is a tornado going on.
The last thing she sees before darkness is Blue's horrid face ( the gash on her cheek is dripping

blood) as she starts to reach for Emma.

She startles awake.

It seems like another dream at first, or perhaps a hallucination, when she manages to turn her head slightly and she is looking at Snow. She hisses when pain shoots through her at the first attempt to sit up. She loaths how she is too weak to even push Snow's hands away when they drop from her forehead to grab her arms and carefully tug her in a sitting position.

She stares at Snow, who is eerily close and whose eyes are wet. " Emma?".

"She is asleep. She won't - " She cost you everything Regina reminds herself when her heart clenches painfully at the pathetic sound Snow makes. Somehow, the reminder is no longer enough to stop her from saying " She is very strong. She will be okay"

She is terrified herself, but Snow seems to believe her. Regina grits her teeth: the woman has the same awed, somehow trusting look she used to as little girl visiting Regina's chambers. Regina's skin crawls and she has to consciously keep herself from lashing out when faced with that look.
" She is " Snow agrees.

Regina hides a grimace when she sinks into the pillows at her back and even that minimal movement burns. " What happened?" . I just require all the details. Because the inept morons cannot be trusted to have done anything right. This is not concern.

" After - after you saved me - " Regina tries to stop her but Snow stil grabs her hand and gasps " you saved me. Again. And Reg-"

" You were more useful to me alive. Then. I am not certain you are now, so do not- ".

Snow does that infuriating thing where she smiles fondly and knowingly. She makes it even worse by squeezing Regina's hand - and even Regina's glare cannot stop the menace. Perhaps she has underestimated how foolish Snow truly is. " Of course. But after you caught- " Snow takes a deep breath, her eyes very troubled, before she manages to continue " After you caught that knife that was meant for me, Charming attacked Blue. But- ".

" He attacked her? Is he truly nothing more than a pretty face, she possesses magic ".

Regina fantasizes about ripping out the shepherd's heart when Snow says " don't worry, he is fine".

She hufs. "I am hardly concerned about your peasant"

" Oh? Because you-".

She smirks. " I am willing to rip his heart out, if you require any proof Snow".

It is infuriating, how Snow does not look angry or worried, just tiredly amused. And squeezes her hand. Again. " Well, after Charming attacked her - he was thrown back. Ruby used the distraction to creep up on Blue, and even managed to close her jaws around her arm. After that- it was a bit chaotic honestly. My arrows were deflected, Charming's sword was ripped from his hand by a vine that was suddenly there, Ruby's cloak tried to strangle her-"

Snow swallows, several tears slipping out "we thought everything was lost" she whispers.

" That insipid fairy- " Regina spits, vaguely remembering her reaching for Emma.

" I think she wanted to- ".

Regina weakly tries to yank her hand back when Snow squeezes it and she is reminded of the fact that her hand is still being hold by her greatest enemy. " I don't understand. She was my- I trusted her. She helped my family for ages. Why would she- ".

" You do not truly know her, Snow. She has always concealed things from you. And only shown you, what you needed to see to believe her to be good".

" But why?".

"Because she could use you. Your family was royalty, Snow. I am certain that she- ".

"Why Emma?".

Regina sighs, closes her eyes momentarily. She is still exhausted, and she can feel her injury throb and burn. " I do not know".

" So - she might still be in danger?" Snow whispers.

Regina's eyes fly open, and she bites down on her lips when she nearly whimpers at the pain that moving brings. " How did you manage to get Emma away from her?".

Regina recognizes the emotion in Snow's eyes all too well. It is anger at herself, possibly even self-loathing. " We didn't" she shakes her head. " I was still firing arrows, Charming was helping Ruby and Blue was - she was marching towards Emma. And-".

Regina may be holding her breath a little. Snow scrunches her brow, narrows her eyes slightly. " Blue was reaching for Emma, trying to grab her arm. And then her eyes opened" Snow had looked away from Regina, but now she is turning her head so Regina can see her teary-eyed smile. " And then she saw you. And- Blue suddenly screamed and stumbled back. And she vanished".

She can't breathe and she can't breathe and she can't - "what does that mean?".

Snow smiles. " That perhaps, you can part of my family again" she squeezes Regina's hand one last time, then slowly lets it go. " and perhaps, we might even do it right this time" .

Regina doesn't even know what to say, except- " I want to see Emma".

"Regina, you probably shouldn't- ".

" You do not get to order me around, I am not one of your lily-livered servants-".

" I am not saying you are, but you're still injured and-".

Snow is trying to push her down while Regina is trying to get up, or at the very least to get Snow away from her, when the door slams open. She gets a glimpse of a doubled-over guard, another one running towards them and-

" Emma " she breathes.

She doesn't need to push anymore: Snow automatically pulls back and allows her daughter to crawl on the bed and gently place her hands on Regina's shoulders. " Don't ever again do that" she orders and Regina probably only doesn't protest because her eyes are pleading.

She has to clear her throat several times. She is pretty sure there are still tears slipping - how embarrassing- but she is too relieved to see Emma to truly care. " It was not my intention to hurt for Snow White ever aga-".

" Thank you".

Regina stares at Emma. She has to breathe in and out slowly to feel less terribly angry at the sight of the healing gash, and bruises. " What for? I couldn't- " I failed. I did not protect, nor save you. That worthless creature managed to hurt you

She has such a gorgeous smile- shy and strong and awed- and Regina automatically smiles back. " You saved my mother. You- thank you".

" I am certain that the entire kingdom would fall over themselves in order to save your mother, E- ".

" Perhaps. But they- they don't have a lot of complicated history with her, you know?".

" You mean they do not loathe her" she can see Snow flinche in her eyecorner, but what did she expect? Just because Regina saved her, does not mean everything is forgiven and forgotten.
Emma obviously notices too, because she briefly looks at her mother and squeezes her arm, before looking back at Regina. " I mean that they do not have complicated history with her. As far as I know, you don't save people you hate".

" You do if they matter to someone you l- " she cannot say it. It feels like a betrayal and the perfect way to give the universe ammunition to hurt her again. "to someone who means something to you".

Emma deflates a little bit, then smiles. " Okay. If that is what you going with".

" I - " she can't say it. There is still a part of her that feels raw and itching with discomfort at the idea that she could be that vulnerable. And she is Snow's daughter. How could I ever be weak enough to like the blood of the woman that took my happy ending?

"Regina. Whatever you are thinking -please stop it".

She inhales sharply as she suddenly feels warmth, and her magic creating goose bumps on her arms. She glances at where Emma's hand is on hers. Looks back into pleading eyes. " You are still hurt".

Emma looks confused at the sudden turn in subject. " I - yes. Some of it is magical".

Regina grits her teeth. As soon as I find that fairy, I will start by ripping off her wings. " Would you allow me to heal you? ".

Regina hates how young and light she feels, and how smiling is something she cannot fight, whenever Emma smiles. The feelings only worsen when Emma says " As long as it doesn't hurt you, or makes you tired again".

" I have been practising magic for a long time, so I doubt it".

" Regina - I am sure you were still - " Emma starts to protest, at the same time to Snow steps forward again to say " After the attack on Blue's stronghold, I am not sure it is wise- ".
But they both know nothing about magic. Nor do they know about how much pain she can stand, and function through. She raises her hand and waves-

"Regina!"

"Regina!".

Two voices immediately shout, and Emma grabs her hand while Snow starts to reach for her as well. She grits her teeth and tries again. And again. And again. She tries until there are sharp stabs in her head. She tries until her vision blurs. She tries until she gets dizzy.

" REGINA STOP " she tries until Emma shrieks and her voice breaks " p-please".

She leans back against the pillows, pushes at Snow's hands. It's Emma's she accepts. " Should we get a healer?" it's Snow's voice. She wants to sneer and tell her how foolish it is to be that worried when your enemy gets hurt.

It feels like someone is driving a sword into her eyes when she does it , but she turns her head anyways. " What did you do to me" she spits, curling her fingers. If she could, she would rip Snow's heart out right now. She is certainly close enough for it

" Regina. I swear- " .

" We both know your promises are worthless, so do not bother"

" Regina, stop. It wasn't my mom".

She doesn't look away from Snow. " Oh rea-".

" How would she even do that?".

" I am certain that someone could be found to be willing to assist your mother. And she is the one who would benefit the most from my protection being gone".

Snow looks hurt when her hand is slapped away. " Regina- I don't know anyone who could do that to you. And I would never hurt you- not even after all you did to me".

" Never- you wished to execute me'.

" After you had hurt thousands of people!"

" No, you hurt them".

" Regina, stop- ".

" You could have surrendered. You could have shown yourself. You could have turned yourself in" she tells herself to revel in the cornered expression Snow wears when she takes a small step back. " You could've made sure it was just you being hurt. But instead, you allowed entire villages to risk their lives for you. I would have left the peasants alone, if they had not betrayed me at every turn. You have their blood on your hands as much as I have, dear".

" No- no- I didn't mean, I never ask-".

" But didn't you? Surely you must have, sometimes. You must have required help occassionally. And even if you managed to survive on your own, all those people suffered because you lived".

" YOU decided to hurt them! I offered you forgiveness, Regina, again and again. I offered you your freedom after you had hurt-"

" But you never offered me when I wanted it. You took Daniel- ".

"I was a child- ".

" Mom, Regina- please sto- ".

" You were an inconsiderate child who cost me everything. Did you think I wanted to be married to your father?".

" Yes. He was a wonderful man- why wouldn't you?".

Even after all these years, there is something that stops her from telling Snow exactly what kind of man her father was. " I told you I did not love him. I told you I loved Daniel. I trusted you".

" How could I have known your mother would be as inhuman as- ".

" You deserve to have your heart ripped out" she spits it in Snow's face, after grabbing the front of that dress and yanking her forward. She presses her hand against her chest, smiling at the thought of-

" STOP IT" Emma pushes them apart, causing Snow to stumble back and Regina to fall on the small pile of pillows. She is already pushing herself up, glaring at Snow, when she falters. It actually hurts to see Emma look so disappointed, and angry.

" She made a mistake. A simple mistake, surely- ".

She can't help herself. "Your mother could have saved all those people. If she had surrendered, I wouldn't- ".

" You could have chosen to not hurt them in the first place" it is Snow. Regina feels like she should be elated by the tears on Snow's cheeks, but she is just exhausted.

"And you could have paid a little more attention, and realized the palace was the last place I wanted to be".

" I thought you liked me".

" I never wanted to be your mother!"

Snow swallows, nods. " I thought you were the most amazing person, Regina. I couldn't stop talking about you to daddy. If I had ever thought it would lead to you being unhappy- I would have kept my mouth shut. That's the last thing I wanted".

" Pardon me if I find that difficult to believe. Even when I finally was trapped in your castle, you left me alone all the time. I was either your doll or completely forgettable" she clamps her lips shut. She has said things she never wanted to. It almost seems like she cared that Snow and the King would be gone for ages, and leave her utterly alone and wondering whether she mattered so little to them. Whether she was truly nothing more than a plaything, or a babysitter.

"Regina, I didn't- ".

" Leave ".

Regina wishes vehemently for her magic when Emma sighs and smiles at her mother, then slides of the bed. She scowls and quickly yanks her hand back, hoping they both did not see her immediately reaching for Emma.

Emma hugs is speaking lowly and softly, but Regina can still hear her. " Just let me take this one. She gets mean when she feels vulnerable. I will talk to you later, okay?".

Snow mumbles something back that sounds like she is protesting, but does allow Emma to pull

back and gently push her towards the door. "We will be fine, mom. Go help dad - I kind of pushed him on the ground when he tried to keep me in my room ".

Snow gasps. " Emma, your father is -".

" He was chuckling, pretty sure he is fine. Tell him I am sorry. Bye" and she pushes Snow out of the door, then pushes it closed. She rolls her eyes when they can hear Snow yell " your father better be fine, young lady"

"I am an adult, and she still does things like that all the time"

They share a smile for a moment before Emma slowly walks towards her, and sits down.

"Are you angry at me?" Regina asks, when the silent starts to feel really strained.

Emma sighs. " Of course I am. It is not okay that you're like that with mom. And I don't even know what to say about what you did. That is just- ".

" So you are judging me, princess".

Emma clenches her teeth. " I am not judging you. But I am not going to pretend that it doesn't matter, either".

Regina feels herself relax slightly, less inclined to push Emma away from her or say something that would surely chase her away. " I am not evil. That is the monniker she burdened me with".

" I don't think you're evil right now. I think - after what you did for me and my family, you're pretty great" Emma laughs. Regina has to clench her hands to keep from reaching out; she sounds anything but happy." Although you could argue that you owed us. Or at the very least, you owed mom".

" I owed her? I owe her nothing, she- ".

" Regina. I know- I know there are things that happened to you that you haven't told me about. And I know mom hurt you, and was the reason other people hurt you. But you can't keep blaming her like that".

She has to clench her teeth to keep herself from lashing out. She wants to throw a fireball at something, or be so hurtful that Emma will never again be near her. It is mostly because she remembers things like saving Snow without question - and that feeling that was like concern. And the last weeks of Emma's capture (though at that point , her stay had been mostly willingly) - how she hadn't felt gleeful at all when looking at how Snow was breaking.

" She is ready to forgive you. You know that, right?".

" And who says I am willing to forgive her?".

" You did save her life. Twice".

" That was a necessary evil, dear".

Emma's smile makes her heart beat faster, as well as making it clench when it's sad like this. " Does it not exhaust you, forcing yourself to hate someone who loves you so much".

She can't help it. She knows it will anger or hurt Emma, but she can't help it. Emma grimaces predictably at the cruel laugh. " Love me? I do hope that that is not love - or I would most definitely want to take you far away from your parents".

Emma grits her teeth, and looks away for a second. Regina can feel her heartbeat triple in a very unpleasant way and nearly opens her mouth to apologize at the look in Emma's eyes. " You already did that. You spent several weeks gloating, telling me how my mom was hurting and how she was showing she was not as 'pure and untainted' as she liked to 'pretend'.

Regina thinks she has made a terrible mistake when Emma stands up and pushes herself away from Regina. "Emma- wait, I am sorry" she calls out, even if the voice in her head that never shuts up immediately whispers weak.

Emma slowly turns around. She is usually very expressive, but now her face is carefully smooth. It is just her eyes that warn Regina, warn her to not say the wrong thing now. "I shouldn't have said that- I am sorry".

Emma sighs. "Is it going to be like this forever? Are you always going to lash out and say the most horrible things whenever I try to get us to work".

" But that is the point , is it not? We are not supposed to " Regina wants to curse her voice, which is soft and young and slightly desperate. Pathetic.

" Why not? I think we could be great, if you let go of your obsession with hurting my mom".

" Great- Emma, you are the pure and untainted princess of the White Kingdom. And I- " perhaps Snow is wicked, beneath all that illusive 'goodness' of hers, but Emma isn't. Emma is slightly rough and honest to the point of rudeness, but also always wanting to help people. Emma is sunrises and rough diamonds. " I am your familly's greatest enemy. I am the one who abducted you, for magic's sake".

" I know" Regina kind of wants to weep at how Emma's eyes aren't hard, or pained anymore. " Did you ever find out how my mom and dad met?".

"I - what does this have to do with anything? ".

" Mom wanted to rob his carriage. Or well- she actually robbed his by mistake. She hit him with a rock. Twice. He trapped her in a net. They fought a bunch of trolls. And dad left to marry someone he didn't love, while mom's plan was to go somewhere safe. And possible very, very far away".

" Is there perhaps a point to regaling the beginning of the idiots' happy ending?".

" Regina. Does that story seem like a perfect, uncomplicated situation? ".

" No of course not".

" Exactly! My parents weren't supposed to work. Dad was engaged, mom was hunted. They met when she wanted to rob him. He was a shepherd, pretending to be his twin. She was a bandit, who had lost her kingdom. That is not exactly the kind of thing you would expect to be a happy ending, right?".

" Right".

" But it did". Regina feels the usual paradox of wanting to pull away, and wanting to never let go when Emma grabs her hand. " And if that can work, why shouldn't we be able to have a happy ending?".

" Emma, you cannot- ".

" I know you feel like you need to make my mom hurt, like she deserves that. But that won't make you happy. It will just make you lonely, and hated".

" The people will never love me".

" Perhaps not. But- " Emma squeezes her hand, then takes a deep breath. "Other people will. People that really appreciate you risking your life for them, and even hurting yourself so their mom would be okay".

This woman is ridiculous. " People like you?"

" I wouldn't know where you got that idea".

Regina smiles back. Her smiles are far briefer than Emma's ever are ( it is possibly because Emma also smiles when she is hurt, or angry). This one is particularly brief, only lasting about two seconds before fading, chased away by what giving in to what she has been feeling would entail.

"I do not know whether I am able to forgive her " she admits, quietly.

" Okay".

Regina chokes out a disbelievingly laugh. " You would be okay with me still loathing your mother?".

" I don't think you loathe her. You saved her".

" For you. Nothing- do not expect more than that, Emma".

" I won't. To be honest, I would be slight disturbed if you two suddenly started braiding flowers into each other's hair again".

It is so much easier to laugh around Emma. " That will never happen".

" Right. Because you 'loathe' her".

" I also have not braided my hair in years".

" What, braids not intense enough for the evil queen? ".

Regina smirks. "My fashion sense has changed along with me".

Emma sounds slightly breathless when she says "I've noticed" and Regina grins wickedly as she recognizes the look, the one that Emma sometimes gets when faced with Regina's dresses (Emma's reaction to the form-fitting one that leaves her back bare had been particularly interesting)

She chuckles, and Emma sighs and shakes her head. "You're awful" she insists.

" Oh? ".

" Yes. Like when you made me undress you".

" I thought I was being rather generous that day. I was offering you something I was certain you desired, after all ".

Regina decides she likes it even more when Emma is flustered than when she is smiling. Especially when she also glares defiantly like that. She stubbornly refuses to say anything, which just makes Regina goade her more. She leans in, lowers her voice slightly. " You could not control your eyes. And you were even more flustered than you are right now".

" Well, I remember a certain person nearly falling into the bathtub"

Regina's annoyance is fake: she actually enjoys the way Emma's eyes and voice get when she is teasing. " That is preposterous".

" No, really. You were uncharacteristically ungra- " Emma only barely manages to hold her hand in front of her mouth when she yawns. It is only now that Regina remembers Emma is still wounded, and possibly exhausted. I will rip that fairy's wings off, and that will be the nicest thing I will do to her.

" Return to your chambers, princess" she orders, though not unkindly.

" Can't I sleep with you?" .

Regina chuckles. " I am certain you need more energy for that, dear".

Emma rolls her eyes. "Actual sleeping".

She tries very hard to hide how every part of her wants to pull the blanket back, and pull Emma against her. Possibly tangle her legs around her. And quite certainly never let her go.

" If you insist".

Emma rolls her eyes again, and smiles like she knows Regina is only pretending this is not something she really wants as well. She lifts the blanket, and Regina can't stop a fond smile at how careful Emma is, like any motion could break Regina. " I am not that fragile, Emma".

" No, but you're wounded" she simply says.

" I am fine".

" No one is 'fine' after a knife ripped open their stomach"

Before Regina can lie, she adds " turn around".

" Why?".

" Because you have an injury, and I am going to hurt you if we sleep like this"

" I am certain I will survive" Regina says, but she obeys anyways. It is not like she objects to being by Emma- even if she won't admit it. In fact, she discovers it is incredibly enjoyable to be held by Emma. She is soft and warm, with the exact right amount of firm muscle.

Regina cannot help the content sigh that slips out. Fortunately, Emma does not comment- which allows Regina to relax further in the embrace. Her eyes start to flutter, and she sighs again. Emma's lips are slightly dry, and as warm as the rest of her when she kisses Regina's neck.

" Sleep well " she mutters , and Regina mutters something back that could be anything. They're both asleep barely a minute after that, tangled together, Emma's nose pressed into Regina's neck and her arms around the smiling brunette. Regina looks younger like this, and the anger that is always present is no longer just subdued but replaced by a content smile. Emma looks calm and happy like she never does.

The wound beneath their entwined hands slowly starts to heal, rainbow light visible through the cloth keeping it from sight.