By Biankies and Anjion
A/N: This is another collaboration between me and my best friend, Biankies, and features our 3 favourite sidekicks, Babkak, Omar and Kassim (specifically those from the original Broadway cast) the Newsies (movie cast), and a few of our favourite characters from other movies.
Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters except Mac, Lacey and ourselves. Please read and review!
AA/N: Mac and Lacey are Newsies. Mac is the doctor to her friends and Lacey is Spot's second-in-command and annoys him mercilessly! Enjoy!
(It is a beautiful, hot day in Manhattan. The sun is bright, the city birds are singing, and everything is peaceful...until a large group of boys and one colourful trio – led by Biankies and Anjion, the crazy fangirl authors better known as Mouse and Stars – come pounding out of nowhere, pursued by an angry, white-haired and red-faced man...)
ANJION: (puffing) Haven't we lost him yet?
SNYDER: Come back here! I'm gonna put you all in the Refuge, where you belong!
BIANKIES: (in reply to Anjion) Apparently not...
(We run on, but then Anjion spots something strange...)
ANJION: (yelling loudly) Freeze frame!
(Everyone except us, the boys and Mac and Lacey immediately freeze in position.)
(By this point, Bernard the Elf has randomly appeared out of nowhere and is looking apprehensive and nervous while trying to hide it behind a grumpy scowl.)
BERNARD: Um, I'm looking for Stars and Mouse, the Terrible Two?
ANJION AND BIANKIES: (proudly) That's us!
BERNARD: Santa has asked me to take you to the North Pole, and he wants you to write something Christmassy along the way...
(Everyone explodes with excitement and Bernard is very nearly squashed in the process.)
OMAR: (dancing excitedly around Kassim and Babkak) The North Pole! I've always wanted to go there! Kassim, can we go, please please please?
KASSIM: You'll have to ask Stars and Mouse. They're the ones who write these things...
(And at this moment, the scene, including a very angry Snyder, begins to revert back to normal, so Anjion makes a snap decision...)
ANJION: (cheerfully but urgently) Come on people! We're going to the North Pole!
(She hurriedly leads the way into a random portal that has suddenly opened up...)
BIANKIES: (nervously) Hey Starsie, are we where I think we are?
SKITTERY: Please tell me we ain't...
(But a moment later, a loud growling can be heard, making our hearts sink...)
SNITCH: (shouting) It's the dinosaur place again!
OMAR: (panicking) Oh no oh no oh NO; I don't like the dinosaurs! KASSIIIIIIMM!
KASSIM: (rubbing his ear) Omar, I'm right here! There's no need to shout!
(And then the velociraptors appear...)
JAKE: (in a deceptively level voice) There's only one thing for it. RUN!
(We all run as fast as we can until we find safety in a nearby shed.)
BIANKIES: (excitedly and apparently star-struck) Ooh, can I have one of those? Please Starsie? Can I? I'll look after it and everything?!
(Anjion looks at her friend with a strange expression.)
KASSIM: (looking nervously at Anjion) Please tell me you're gonna say no.
ANJION: (sighing as Biankies continues to beg at her feet, tongue lolling, rather resembling a hopeful puppy) I'll have to see if I can arrange something with Santa...
BABKAK: (in shock) You can't mean you're actually gonna get her a dinosaur?!
ANJION: (to Babkak, in a whisper) Don't worry! I've had an idea that ought to keep everyone happy!
SKITTERY: Er, you might want to finish this discussion later... The raptors have found us...
SNITCH: (cheerfully) Why don't we climb up this random beanstalk? Maybe we'll be safe at the top...
BIANKIES: Oh no! I ain't climbing that thing! I don't like heights!
BERNARD: If you want to survive long enough to get a monster for Christmas, you may have to climb up there...
BIANKIES: (seeing his logic) On second thoughts, it isn't that high...
(We reach the top of the beanstalk and sink to the ground in relief. But that relief is short-lived as we suddenly hear giant footsteps approaching...)
GIANT: FEE FI FO FUM! I smell the blood of NEWSIES!
(He starts singing 'The Bottom Line' at the top of his voice as we all look at each other.)
MAC: (confused) Does he want to eat us or sing at us?
SKITTERY: I ain't staying around to find out!
BERNARD: I agree with Skittery; let's get outta here!
GIANT: (stopping his song and looking close to tears) But I want a friend to sing with. No one ever wants to sing with me!
OMAR: (looking upset) That's so sad.
(So we sing a short extract of 'Arabian Nights' with him, with Babkak, Omar and Kassim doing the moves.)
GIANT: (wiping away tears as we finish) Gee, thanks guys! (pause) And now I must eat you!
(And he starts to chase us...)
BERNARD: (squeakily) Quick! To that random rainbow slide thingy...
(Anjion grabs Biankies' arm and jumps onto the slide...which is a bad idea because then we are both at the bottom of the pile, swiftly followed by Snipeshooter...)
SNIPES: (looking eagerly about) Hey, look at all these presents!
(Which then start exploding, shooting colourful confetti into the air, and the loud bangs draws the attention of a rather annoyed creature...)
BIANKIES: (nervously pulling at Anjion's sleeve) Starsie, I think I just found something scarier than Snyder!
ANJION: (unable to see thanks to the Newsie who has just landed on her head) What is it? It's not the Grinch, is it?
SKITTERY: The G-Grinch? (He hides behind Biankies.)
GRINCH: (grinning mischievously) BOO!
SKITTERY: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH! (He faints.)
(Omar, on the other hand, simply sits and smiles, unafraid, at the Grinch.)
BABKAK: (in disbelief) Wait; you're not scared of the strange green creature?
OMAR: No. You're a strange green creature...
GRINCH: (still grinning) Would you like a piece of my Christmas cake? It explodes, you know...
BIANKIES: (nervously) Can I be a coward now?
DAVID: Before we start panicking, let's go through this portal...
(We hop through it and the boys' faces light up immediately.)
LACEY: (in dismay) It's a huge roomful of sweets!
WILLY WONKA: (stepping forward) Welcome, my friends!
MAC: (groaning) Oh no...
BIANKIES: (pulling Anjion's sleeve) Starsie, we got a problem. A big problem...
LACEY: (grabbing hold of Spot as he heads for the sweets) Don't you dare, Conlon!
TUMBLER: Wahay! Sugar!
DUTCHY: (pulling Specs along) Look! Giant gummy bears!
SNITCH: (jumping into the chocolate river) I LOVE CHOCOLATE!
OOMPA LOOMPA: So do we.
BOYS: (taken by surprise) AAAAAHHHHHHGGGG!
ANJION: (to the boys) If you don't behave I'll make the Oompa Loompas chase you!
SPOT: (now giggling girlishly and chasing one of the little orange and green men) But it's so fun! Look how fast he is!
WONKA: (with obvious concern) No, leave him alone, don't chase him, please...
(And then Bumlets and Blink barrel past, knocking Wonka into his own chocolate river, where he sits, glaring...)
LACEY: We need to control them or the weird guy's gonna be even madder!
MAC: Not to mention the horrible sugar rush we're already dealing with...
ANJION: I think now would be a good time to insert a song. And 'Sugar Rush' by the A-Teens is perfect... (She starts to sing...)
RACE: (shocked into normality) Ok, maybe we should get outta here...
SNODDY: (the only Newsie not on a sugar high) There's a portal here...
ITEY: (cautiously) Is it safe?
(Kassim sticks his head into the portal.)
KASSIM: It's just a lot of snow... (A snowball suddenly connects with the side of his head and Kassim growls.) That was not funny, Olaf!
(We follow him through the portal.)
BIANKIES: I like this world. Not many scary things here!
BERNARD: But its not the North Pole! And besides, you and Stars are the ones who put the monsters in in the first place...
BIANKIES: (to Kassim) Can you please say something not so nice to Bernard? I'm trying really hard to be put on the Nice list...
(But before Kassim can say anything, Olaf throws another snowball at him.)
KASSIM: Olaf, do that again and I'll knock your block off! (And he proceeds to chase the giggling snowman.)
BERNARD: (grumpily) No cheating, Mouse! You can't get someone else to look bad so that you look good, it's not–
(He gets caught in the crossfire of a very frenzied snowball fight at this point and gets knocked out.)
OMAR: (noticing this) I'm glad it wasn't me this time...
BIANKIES: (to the fallen elf) Fine. I'll be good so that I get a dinosaur.
MARSHMALLOW THE GIANT SNOWMAN: (suddenly appearing over the hill) RRRRRRRUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGG!
(He starts lumbering down the hill and we all run, giggling, for the exit portal.)
BIANKIES: (as we cross the threshold, still laughing) Okay, maybe telling him he looked cute the last time we were here wasn't the best thing to do...
OMAR: Or having Iago throw exploding powder at him...
BERNARD: Okay, I get it. You tortured the poor thing.
ANJION AND BIANKIES: And that wasn't anything to do with us!
BOOTS: (apprehensively, to Anjion) So where are we exactly? Because I feel like we've been here before...
(We turn around to look at the large walls that surround us...)
JACK AND DAVID: (disbelieving) Not again...
CRUTCHIE: Quick! Someone knock Omar out before he sees –
OMAR: (in a panic) IT'S THE MAZE AGAIN! WAAAAAAAAAA!
MINHO: Omar, stop screaming! The Grievers will–
MINHO: (helplessly) –hear you.
BIANKIES: I don't like this one bit, Starsie. Do your Leprechaun voice; maybe that will help!
MINHO: I don't think that's going to scare them.
ANJION: (uncertainly) Ok... Er, (to the Grievers) Top o' the mornin' to ya! I's a lucky Leprechaun...
(Anjion continues in this manner, but the Grievers just look at her. The boys, however...)
BUMLETS: (clutching his ears) No no no...
MUSH: (moaning in distress) Make it stop! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
MINHO: (matter-of-factly) That sure is a terrible Irish accent. (He passes out.)
LACEY: I don't think it's working. Let's go!
BIANKIES: Someone help me grab Minho.
MUSH: I'll help!
RACE: (to Anjion) Why isn't she being a coward like Omar?
KASSIM: (glaring at his fleeing friend) Omar, get back here!
(Omar doesn't get very far as the ground suddenly opens up beneath us, and we all fall down and down until we land, in a heap, on something wooden and wet...)
BOOTS: (looking up) We're on a ship again.
ANJION: (getting up and pulling Biankies to her feet) Oh no, it's the Flying Dutchman! Davy Jones' ship!
BIANKIES: (looking at Bernard rather evilly) Now would be a very good time for you to look away so me and Starsie can plot something...
(The elf stares at us with a horrified expression, but before we can do anything...)
OMAR: (pointing towards the ship's cabin) L-look!
(We all turn to look at the strange creature that is Davy Jones...)
KASSIM: (in disbelief) It has an octopus on its face?!
DAVY JONES: I shall feed you to my pet kraken for that remark. (He calls to his crew) Boys!
(Two members of his barnacled crew immediately advance on Kassim.)
KASSIM: (nervously) No! I ain't gonna be lunch for anyone's pet! Where's a portal when you need one?
(Kassim leaps backwards without looking...straight into the kraken's mouth.)
(But a few seconds later, the Kraken spits Kassim back out again.)
KRAKEN: (howling) TOO HOT! TOO HOT! AAAGGHH! IT BURNSSS USSS, PRECIOUS, IT BURNSSSS USSSSS!
BIANKIES: We need a distraction!
IAGO: (from his hiding place behind Babkak) I brought some exploding powder...
KASSIM: Forget the distraction! We need to get out of here!
(Iago throws the powder anyway, and we escape through the portal that has now chosen to appear, just as the powder explodes, destroying the kraken and sinking the Flying Dutchman.)
ROMEO: Well, that's them well and truly sunk...
KASSIM: (edging away from Iago) Just keep that stuff away from me!
IAGO: (grinning) No promises...
BIANKIES: (squeakily) Right now, we got bigger problems, Kassim. Look where we are!
(We all look around the huge cave that we have arrived in.)
SWIFTY: Where are we?
LES: (touching some of the strange, silvery substance that seems to be hung between the walls) This feels like cobweb...
SKITTERY: (shrieking and climbing onto Babkak's head) S-s-s-spiders!
(And then Shelob appears...)
BIANKIES: (nervously) Starsie we're gonna need bug spray.
OMAR: (cowering behind Kassim) And lots of it.
SWIFTY: Or we could just run...
SAM GAMGEE: (holding up Frodo's magic vial) I'll save you! This monster tried to kill my Master!
(And he chases Shelob off down the tunnel.)
JACK: (impressed) Wow! He's got guts.
ANDREW KEENAN-BOLGER: (seemingly appearing out of nowhere) Who's got guts? And why are you on the stage? There's no-one else here...
BUMLETS: (looking around the theatre) Huh? How did that happen? We were in a cave a second ago...
BIANKIES: (happily) Yay! No more scary monsters!
(Omar and Skittery start dancing around in relief, only to accidentally knock a certain someone off the stage...)
AKB: (groaning) Ow...
RANDOM SCREAMING AKB FANGIRL: (immediately appearing on the scene next to Andrew) Oh no! You've KILLED him! How COULD you?! WAAAAAAAAAAA!
OMAR: (frightened) WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
BERNARD: (hesitantly) Excuse me, miss, I think he's ok...
RANDOM SCREAMING AKB FANGIRL: (seeing Bernard and immediately forgetting AKB) My, you're so CUTE! What's your name? (She starts to advance on the unfortunate elf.)
AKB: (rather put out) Ow. (He gets no response from Fangirl) Ow! (still nothing) Ahem! OW!
(Fangirl glares at him and then turns back to where Bernard is...or rather, where he was...)
FANGIRL: (suspiciously) Hey! Where did cute face go?
(Many hands all point in different directions. Fangirl huffs and stalks out of the theatre.)
BERNARD: (from his place at the top of the curtain) Phew...
BIANKIES: (pulling out a random picture of a raptor and holding it close) I won't laugh. I'm a good Mouse. I won't laugh...
(But she bursts out laughing anyway, followed by the boys.)
AKB: What just happened?!
KASSIM: (chuckling) I don't know but it was funny.
BERNARD: (still on top of the curtain) Could someone please help me down?
GENIE: (popping up) Certainly!
(He snaps his fingers and Bernard crashes down to the ground.)
BERNARD: (groaning) Thanks...
GENIE: You're welcome! (He disappears again.)
KASSIM: (wistfully) I wish I had a random screaming fangirl...
ANJION: (pointing to herself and Biankies) You've got two! We love you! Well, my favourite is Omar but we both love all three of you!
BABKAK: So why do you beat us up so?
BIANKIES: That's just how we roll...
KASSIM: (whining) But its still not fair...
BIANKIES: Why is everyone making it so hard to stay on the Nice list? I really want that dino pet!
BABKAK: There's no way you're getting on the Nice list.
BIANKIES: (pouting) Starsie, they're being mean!
RACE: (cautiously) Right now, Mouse, that ain't important.
ANJION: (confused) What do you mean?
RACE: Omar's got a wand again...
BIANKIES: Duck and cover, people!
(Biankies pulls him down behind a cardboard rock as Omar happily waves the wand around, not noticing everyone scattering for hiding places...)
OMAR: Hey! Where did everybody go?
(And then the scene changes and we are suddenly surrounded by Death Eaters...)
ANJION: Quick, everybody, use your wands!
(She turns to the nearest Death Eater and shoots the 'Petrificus Totalus' spell at him, causing him to go rigid and fall down.)
OMAR: (enthusiastically trying to copy Anjion's spell) PETRIFIED UNCLE ALEX!
PETRIFIED UNCLE ALEX: (bursting forth and screaming wildly in his thick Scottish accent) THE BEASTIES ARE BACK! I DINNAE KEN HOW TO ESCAPE THEM! HEEELLLLPPP MEEEEE!
(And he hurls himself into the fray, knocking Death Eaters aside left, right and centre...)
BIANKIES: (popping out of her hiding place as the last Death Eater disappears) Good job Omar!
SKITTERY: Maybe he isn't that bad with a wand.
KASSIM: Until he turns us into animals again...
TUMBLER: (to Dutchy) Dutchy, look!
(He points to a random hole in the sky, through which a small, whiskered green face is peering...)
YODA: (referring to the battle he has just witnessed) Courage, Yoda likes. Cunning, you are. Lightsabers, you shall have.
(And suddenly everybody is holding lightsabers as Hogwarts dissolves into the world of Star Wars...)
BIANKIES: (nervously to Anjion) Do you think we should let Omar have one of these? He could do more than make his finger bleed with one...
KASSIM: (overhearing) OMAR, GIVE ME THAT THING!
OMAR: (swinging the lightsaber out of Kassim's reach) No! My toy!
(There is a pause, and then Omar looks down at Kassim's torso, which is no longer attached to his legs.)
OMAR: (quietly) Oh. Oops...
KASSIM: (crossing his arms in the sudden absence of any hips) Thanks a lot, Omar. How am I supposed to run now?
(As if to demonstrate, Kassim's legs promptly run off on their own.)
KASSIM: Hey! Come back! Don't be such cowardly legs! COME BACK!
ANJION: (trying not to laugh) Don't fret, we'll get Genie to fix you...
KASSIM: And how am I supposed to go anywhere in the meantime?
C-3PO: (appearing and seeing Kassim's difficulty) Ah. Well I could lend him a pair of my spare legs until his own turn up...
KASSIM: Thanks...I think...
BIANKIES: (sneakily) Starsie, do you know where the camera is? I want a picture of this.
KASSIM: Don't you dare!
ANJION: (ignoring him and passing Biankies her camera) You snap, I'll hold him still...
KASSIM: (a few moments later) Now can we please focus on finding my legs ?
BIANKIES: (grinning at the pictures) Sure.
BERNARD: I thought you wanted to be on the Nice list, Mouse.
BIANKIES: (guiltily) I'm trying to be a good Mouse...
MUSH: Don't worry, Mouse. I'll tell him you've just been going along with Anjion's evil deeds...
ANJION: (affronted) Hey! (She turns to Biankies, pulling her best 'Puss in Boots' face) You wouldn't let him do that...would you?
BIANKIES: Of course not, Starsie! I want a dinosaur!
KASSIM: People, focus! We're looking for my legs, remember?
(Everyone ignores him.)
BERNARD: Can we please just get to the North Pole now? There are scary shadows coming this way...
BIANKIES: Oh no! It's the stormtroopers! We've gotta go! Or do something equally constructive!
ANJION: Great idea!
(We all run round another corner, only to find that our way is blocked by an angry Snylitzel...)
[A/N: a Snylitzel is a creature that is essentially Snyder, Pulitzer and Wiesel rolled into one hideous body.]
AKB: We're gonna need some help...
(Seconds later, the carpet flies in, riding the Genie.)
GENIE: (miserably) It wanted to see if its steering skills were better than mine...
BIANKIES: (staring wide eyed at the Genie) But the carpet hasn't got any hands to steer with!
KASSIM: (glowering at the carpet, which is now behaving as it should) I am not getting on that carpet again! Mouse, would you please do the 'strike' pose for me; I can't sit down very well with these metal legs.
(Biankies obligingly folds her arms and sits down, crossing her legs and refusing to move.)
ANJION: Mouse, come on! We gotta go! Bernard, help me out here...
BERNARD: Er, if you don't come now I'll...I'll tell Santa not to give you a dinosaur!
BIANKIES: (to Kassim) You're on your own. (to Anjion) Save me a spot, Starsie!
BERNARD: (watching us climb onto the small carpet) How are we all going to fit on there?
SKITTERY: (pulling Bernard up after himself as Snylitzel closes in) We'll fit!
(We all squeeze onto the carpet – which is suddenly fitted with 'L' plates – and soon find ourselves in Agrabah. And there we see that the palace guards have cornered what looks suspiciously like a pair of legs...)
KASSIM: (annoyed) Hey! Unhand my legs!
(This distracts the guards, giving Kassim's legs the chance to run across and hide, trembling, behind Babkak.)
KASSIM: (to the Genie, pointing at his legs) Genie, please fix me!
(Genie does so – backwards the first time – but soon Kassim is back in one piece.)
(He swiftly and sneakily snatches Omar's saber in an attempt to keep the rest of us in one piece, but he only succeeds in making Omar cry.)
ALL: Omar, stop crying.
BIANKIES: (pulling out another saber) Here Omar, you can have mine. Just be careful with it.
OMAR: (taking it) This thing is AWESOME!
(He swings the saber...and accidentally cuts Genie's finger.)
GENIE: (deadpan) My finger's bleeding.
OMAR: (starting to cry again) S-sorry...
(He drops the saber in fright and everyone takes at least 3 steps away from it.)
GENIE: Don't worry, kid. I can fix it.
(But he 'fixes' it so that the end of his finger is actually a toothbrush head.)
INSPECTOR GADGET: (angrily) Hey! That's my thing! I ought to sue you for copywriting!
GENIE: Uh, sorry...
BIANKIES: (chuckling) Who knew that being a good Mouse could be so funny!
BERNARD: (really getting frustrated now) We need to get to the North Pole, remember?!
(Everyone ignores the upset elf as we stare instead at Iago, who is running from a very angry looking camel...)
ANJION: Iago, stop terrorizing the locals. Come on, we're going to the North Pole!
BERNARD: At last!
(The camel snorts at him, sending him skittering behind Skittery and Bumlets.)
ALADDIN: (swinging into the picture) Quick, guys, go! Jafar's in a foul mood! Run! Run!
BIANKIES: When is he not in a foul mood? Now where's a portal when you need one?
BUMLETS: (pointing to the left) There's one over there...
ITEY: What if it doesn't take us to the North Pole?
RACE: I think we're gonna have to chance it...
(We dive through a curtain of purple mist...and suddenly turn into a number of minute steamships, chugging along on a great ocean.)
SPECS: Ok...this is new...
BIANKIES: Starsie, how did this happen?
ANJION: (baffled) I have no idea.
MUSH: Hey! What is that big thing coming right towards us?
(We all stare nervously at the fast approaching island with giant rocks directly on our current path.)
RANDOM SAILOR: (loudly) ABANDON SHIP!
MUSH: We can't! We are the ships!
ANJION: Quickly, everyone, wish upon a star!
(So everyone wishes upon a star and suddenly...)
MAC: Hey look, there's the shore! Covered in stockings, Christmas decorations and jingle bells...?
DAVID: Wow! They're dedicated, aren't they?
BERNARD: (perking up at this) At last! The North Pole!
(We reach dry land at this point and turn back into humans almost immediately.)
BIANKIES: Hooray! Now let's go find Santa! I'm not sure how much longer I can be good, and I really want that dinosaur!
(She starts to walk off with determination.)
BERNARD: (following, somewhat hesitantly) Well, the thing is Santa can't actually give presents that eat people or elves. It's against the rules.
BIANKIES: (her lip trembling) But I want one! I came all this way...
AKB: (whispering to Anjion) You'd better get the mop, Stars; I think Omar and Mouse are gonna cry now.
ANJION: (hastily) Don't cry, anyone! I've already figured out a way to get past that...
(At this moment, a loud clatter is heard, startling Bernard and sending him up onto Kassim's head.)
CURTIS THE ELF: (picking up his dropped clipboard) At last! You guys should've been here hours ago! Where's Bernard?
BERNARD: (climbing back down from Kassim's shoulders) I'm here.
(He scowls at his Number 2 in an effort to hide his embarrassment, and Curtis shrinks a little under his gaze.)
OMAR AND DAVID: (to Biankies) Come on! We wanna see Santa!
BIANKIES: Okay! Come on Starsie; here we go!
(The three of them each grab an arm and start running across the snowy plain...)
(A few minutes later...)
DAVID: (looking at Kassim with a baffled expression) I thought I grabbed Stars.
OMAR: (looking at a very confused Mush) So did I. Mouse?
BIANKIES: (avoiding the question) Oh no! I think we're lost and we don't have Stars...
(A short distance behind them, a random hermit appears in a miniature flood of tin cans.)
HERMIT: (rubbing his head) Curses! Curses! I have knocked over my lucky tin-can tower! Again! This does not bode well...
(Then he spots Anjion lying face down in the snow, randomly wearing her leprechaun outfit.)
HERMIT: Aaagghhh! And you have squished a lucky Leprechaun! We are doomed, I tell ye; Dooooooomed...
SKITTERY: I don't like the sound of that.
OMAR: (overhearing the Hermit's yelling) That sounds scary...
SKITTERY: Cowards! It's time to do what we do best!
BIANKIES: (reluctant to go) But someone crushed Starsie!
SKITTERY: Okay; Option two!
(The cowardly Trio look around until they spot Kassim...)
KASSIM: (seeing the approaching cowards a second too late) Oh no you don't...
(They all jump on him and Kassim falls over.)
CURTIS: (reappearing) Come on guys! This way!
MUSH: Follow that elf! He seems to know where he's going!
BIANKIES: We gotta find Stars first.
DAVID: Before she realises she's wearing her Leprechaun costume...
SKITTERY: We should get earmuffs just in case.
CURTIS: What's so bad about your friend realising she's dressed like a Leprechaun?
KASSIM: You don't want to find out. You really don't. Trust me.
ANJION: (coming round) Ouch. I feel like I got trampled. (She gets up and looks down.) Oh. And it appears I am dressed like a Leprechaun. I wonder how that happened?
BOOTS: (rushing over) Stars, come quick! A strange man with spiky blue hair just froze Mouse!
ANJION: (angrily) Grrrrrrr! No one freezes my best friend and gets away with it! Lead on, Boots!
(A little way away...)
MUSH: (pointing at Jack Frost) He froze Mouse!
KASSIM: (looking down) He froze my feet too.
OMAR: (to Babkak, close to tears) Make him unfreeze Mouse!
KASSIM: And my feet!
(A few moments later...)
ANJION: (marching in) Jack Frost! Unfreeze Mouse at once or I'll...I'll...I'll think of something unpleasant to do to you!
JACK FROST: (unconcerned) Like what?
BLINK: Oh, she'll think of something...
(Jack opens his mouth to say something clever, but then he sees Anjion's glare and thinks better of it.)
JACK: (grudgingly) Oh, alright.
(And he unfreezes Biankies – and Kassim's feet – in record time.)
BIANKIES: (shivering) So cold...
(Santa walks in with Judy, who passes Biankies a mug of steaming cocoa.)
SANTA: What happened here?
MUSH: (immediately) Jack froze Mouse!
SANTA: (sternly, to Jack) Is this true?
JACK: Well, technically it was Anjion 'cause she's one of the auth-
SANTA: (interrupting) You do know that means I can't give you a present this year?
JACK: (muttering) I never get any anyway...
SANTA: (to everyone) Let's go to my Workshop!
(It doesn't take long to reach the Workshop, and we arrive just in time to witness a huge explosion of glitter and glue.)
TUMBLER AND LES: (emerging, covered in sparkly stuff) Oops...
BIANKIES: (in exasperation) We're supposed to be being good!
BERNARD: (reappearing, covered in pink sparkles) Santa, are these guys on the Naughty list yet? My guess is that they will be...
(We quickly hurry to try and fix the mess, but not before Snitch trips over a very small elf and knocks him flying into the Wrapping machine...)
SNITCH: I didn't mean to do that...
(And before long, the scene is of disorder and chaos. Les and Tumbler are now chasing the elves across the workshop, wielding their wooden swords; the Wrapping machine has mysteriously grown arms and is 'eating' the elves trying to work it; the Pantograph machine is spewing out multiple duplicates of Bernard, all of which are shouting at Curtis; and the glitter tank is now erupting every few minutes...)
BIANKIES: (hiding behind Anjion) We gotta do something, Starsie.
MUSH: (shakily) The wrapping machine just ate Santa!
ANJION: (somewhat hysterically) This is getting out of hand! Look, there's a wrapped Santa over there. And Babkak and Comet are squabbling over the chocolate in the kitchens! How are we gonna get on the Nice list now?!
LACEY: I know someone you can call to help us out...
ANJION AND BIANKIES: Who you gonna call?
NEWSIES: (in unison, briefly pausing what they are doing) GENIE!
GENIE: (flying in) I ain't afraid of no dysfunctional crazy authors!
(He snaps his fingers and the room is filled with blue smoke. When it clears, it reveals a room full of penguins...)
BIANKIES: I don't want to be a penguin!
KASSIM: I don't mind. I'm the best looking penguin here...
SPOT: Says you!
ANJION AND BIANKIES: It's true though...
BERNARD: (flapping his flippers and shouting in frustration) That's IT! I've had ENOUGH! I can't take anymore! Look at me; I'm a penguin! What use is that to anyone? I just want-
(During this rant, the Genie finally manages to fix everything while Anjion whispers to Santa, who nods. Then everyone files out, leaving Bernard on his own.)
SANTA: (to Race) I bet you he'll still be there when we get back.
SPOT: Where are we going?
SANTA: (his eyes glittering) Now that would be telling!
ANJION: (pulling her friend to the front) Come on Mousey!
(We reach a small room, and Santa pulls the door open with a flourish to reveal...a tiny puppy-sized dinosaur!)
QUINTON: It's an android, so it'll never get any bigger, but it's ultra-intelligent and has been programmed to eat only what you say it can...
[A/N: Quinton is the colourful inventor elf who helps modify the sleigh in the first The Santa Clause movie.]
ANJION: (to Biankies) Hope you like it, Mouse! Merry Christmas!
BIANKIES: (happily picking up the small raptor) I love it!
PIE EATER: What are you going to call him?
BIANKIES: I'm gonna call him Lucky. (She starts crooning over her new pet.)
SPOT: (turning to Santa) But why? Stars and Mouse have been anything but good...
SANTA: Well, first of all, this is their story, so they can do what they like; and second, I thought it was pretty funny...
(By now we have returned to the main workshop where, as predicted, Bernard is still going.)
BERNARD: (almost crying by this point) I mean, at this rate we'll never be ready for Christmas... (he suddenly realises that he is on his own) Hey! Where did everybody go?
(And then suddenly he spots a very small dinosaur leaping out at him...)
(And he runs away, raptor on his heels.)
BIANKIES: (calling loudly) Lucky! Leave him alone! You don't eat elf; you're supposed to eat nuts, bolts and other metal stuff!
(But the excited dino ignores her...)
BERNARD: (high-pitched) Somebody help meeeeee!
ANJION: Come on, we'd better help him...
(And so we all chase after elf and dinosaur, leaving behind one solitary elf who has been hiding under a table ever since we arrived...)
LITTLE ELF: (to himself, coming out from under the table) Have they gone? (He looks around and finds himself alone) Phew! Safe at last! At least nothing else can go wrong now...
(And then the glitter tank explodes one last time, completely covering the little elf in pink sparkles and glue.)
LITTLE ELF: (sighing defeatedly) Oh well...
(Sometime later, back in Manhattan, we are being chased once again...)
SNYDER: (bellowing at the top of his voice) TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND DIE, YOU BRAINLESS MISCREANTS!
JAFAR: (suddenly appearing, incensed) That, sir, is my line! (He turns Snyder into a glittery, tinsel clad totem pole) Come Iago!
(And he sweeps away, leaving us all blinking like idiots...)
(Sometime much later...)
ANJION: (to Biankies) That was fun!
BIANKIES: (grinning) Sure was!
BERNARD: (holding his now tattered, Lucky-chewed clothes tight about him) For you, maybe. I got bitten by a miniature dinosaur.
KASSIM: Well I hope they're not gonna steal my legs again. That was really uncomfortable.
BRANDON: (popping in) You mean they've been stealing my legs?
JONATHAN: (bursting into tears) WAAAAAAAA!
BRANDON, BRIAN, ANJION AND BIANKIES: Jonathan, stop crying.
BRIAN: Why are you crying, anyway? It's not your legs they took!
KASSIM: And they gave them back...eventually...