Yeah, so, really new at this, have never written an FF before and certainly not published! So, please be nice to me? If anyone thinks the rating or categories are wrong, let me know and I'll change them. I have no clue where the line is drawn between the things. So, here goes. Just a kind of teaser or something, next chapters I hope will be longer. Hope you like it.
Not getting kidnapped is boring!
The first week she didn't get kidnapped by the little blue maniac she was very happy.
The first three days were normal, since he rarely gave her any less than that between kidnappings, but the rest of the week was bliss!
He was apparently working on one of his bigger schemes. The fact that she hadn't gotten a clue didn't bother her too much. Now she finally had the free time to do all the stuff that usually got interrupted by his plots!
She got to do a thorough cleaning and dust bunny-hunt of her apartment. Then she sorted through her (massive) heap of clothes, both summer and winter, to decide what to give to goodwill, what to throw away and what to keep (ending up with three bags to give away and one to toss). Trying on everything before deciding took time!
Usually she wouldn't bother starting a project that could easily take three uninterrupted evenings to finish, but for some reason she felt confident this week that he wouldn't show up, or at least would wait until the end of the week.
She also got to hang out with friends at coffee shops (and actually stay until the end instead of getting kidnapped when taking a bathroom break or going for refill), go shopping and she even got a quiet night at home with a glass of wine and a good movie.
Normal life was great!
She also got to arrive at work on time the entire week. And stay for a full day all week! And no kidnappings even meant she didn't have to bring work home with her to finish in the evenings, so she had spare time to do a little pampering too!
The second week she was high-strung as hell, jumped at every little sound that just might have been a cape-swish or a robotic gorilla arm or a flying brainbot.
She just couldn't relax, always expecting the blue menace to jump out around every corner, closet, door, window... Or come exploding through a wall to get her 'critical participation' in the latest Evil plot.
She double and triple-checked every door and window (not that any lock had ever kept him out, but you know, stranger things have probably happened somewhere, sometime, during the history of mankind… or Earth...) but she still couldn't relax or get a good night's sleep, resulting in a very short-tempered Roxanne.
Hal got the brunt of her snaps, but she didn't even have the energy to feel bad about it.
Friday the second week was by far the worst. She was certain he would come for her today, since he very rarely did anything in the weekends.
If this was a courtesy to her to give her an actual weekend or if it was because of Minion she didn't know, but she liked it. But this weekend she wasn't so sure since he'd given her a whole two weeks off…
Maybe it was one of the rare occasions he predicted the whole ordeal to take days! Oh god she hoped not!
Megamind almost never went two weeks without kidnapping her, so he had to come this weekend!
Well, he didn't, except for a couple of weeks around Christmas or if he was working on something bigger than usual (like she suspected this time).
When she asked him about it around Christmas every year (it had almost become a weird kind of tradition by now) when he monologued about 'evil never taking a break' he mentioned that 'evil never rests but Minion wanted to go to 'insert location' and he really is a fantastic fish so he deserves it'.
But this wasn't the right time of year for the 'Minion wanted to go'-vacation, so that didn't explain the absent kidnappings.
It was most likely one of the times he was planning something huge, but she normally got a clue or ten the preceding kidnapping since one or both of them couldn't keep from hinting or straight out telling her.
If Minion was the one to spill the beans Megamind would scold him and threaten him with 'the frying pan' (if it was for hitting or cooking she didn't know).
If it was Megamind himself who couldn't keep his mouth shut Minion would again get a scolding (for not stopping him) but no threat of the frying pan.
If he was particularly proud of the plan he would almost blurt it out as soon as the bag was pulled off her head, and she would promptly laugh or come with some snide remark about how all his plans always failed and this wouldn't be any different.
And also, Megamind would never plan a disappearance and not inform Metroman... Well, he probably would, just to keep the hero guessing and on his toes, but not telling her?! That was just rude, and Megamind may be many things, but rude was not one of them.
Except if he was talking to, doing something to or just in general interacting somehow with anyone else than her... Then he was the expert on 'rude and sarcastic' and never let anyone forget.
But even if he forgot to tell her, Minion wouldn't. So where was he? She was tired of waiting (what?) and going around just waiting for the spray to go off in her face made her grumpy, annoyed and downright unpleasant to be around.
She just wanted to get it over with! Yes, that's why. To just be finished with it. Certainly not because she- Nope, just to get it over with!
So they could start the whole cycle all over again next week... oh, what fun...
The third week she actually caught herself worrying a bit. Had something happened? He wasn't in jail, that's for sure, since he'd escaped even before they even put him in the police cruiser.
And there were no rumors about sightings of either Megamind or Minion.
Brainbot-spotting (a thriving hobby among enthusiasts) had drastically declined the past two weeks to nearly zero, and the few spotted were acting… strange.
She discreetly hinted to Wayne if he had seen or heard anything, but he was busy enjoying the 'downtime' he so rarely got that he hadn't even thought to look for them.
She even took a trip or two down to the industrial district just in case. That was as close as she was to knowing where the lair was.
The times she got a glimpse outside during plots they almost always were in the industrial lakeshore area. But no luck...
Where had he gone? It wasn't as if she cared about him. Sure, she didn't want him dead, but actually care? No, no way.
But what if something had happened to Minion? Maybe he was the one who was hurt!
She liked Minion! He may be an "evil" henchfish, but he always made sure she was as comfortable she could be during kidnappings.
And Roxanne also knew that with the relationship those two had Megamind would risk his own life to save the fish! Or run himself into the ground to find a way to help his friend.
What would Megamind do if Minion was gone? She had seen how close they were when they thought she was unconscious and that one time when Minion almost got killed in a blast.
Megamind had been completely frantic until he dug Minion out of the rubble. Then he'd just jumped on the jetbike with Minion in his arm and left her for Metroman to come pick up (but he'd said sorry about "his rude departure" during the next kidnapping).
She rarely saw such close relationships even among family members, and that forehead-touch-thing...
They had the kind of close bond she would have liked to have with her own family (was she jealous?).
And besides, they were aliens, and with his big head and Minion's little antenna-thing there was no telling what that could mean. They could actually have a telepathic link or something. Or they could be some sort of symbiots, co-dependent on each other to live. Or... something else entirely...
She had no idea, and it didn't help her worrying at all! What if one of them had caused the other one injury? Or death?!
The one left would probably be a mental wreck. Maybe even suicidal... How would anyone even know if one or both of them died?
No-one knew where the lair was, and it wasn't like anyone would miss them from a book club or... sewing club... or something.
They would just sort of stop the evil plots and after some time people would get used to it and never think about them again.
Of course, if it was Minion, if he was dead and the cause was something from the city, a person, a building or anything like that, she was certain Megamind would go completely off the hook and exact a 'rehvange' of epic proportions if he could.
They would be lucky if there were a Metro City left standing. But if the situation was reversed she wasn't sure what Minion would do...
He seemed like such a gentle soul she couldn't imagine him raining destruction down on the city. He'd probably just fade away, move somewhere else (if he even lived) and do… un-evil things...
Somehow she had to find them. And when she did she hoped it would end up with her tied to a chair as usual. Not that she wanted to get kidnapped, but that would mean everything was back to normal, and right now she needed normal!
The normalicy of getting kidnapped once a week...