61I don't own OUAT .I hope you enjoy : )
He wakes up, and there's nothing.
He grabbles for his name, and he isn't sure. He stares at the kind woman with the worried eyes, the man with blue eyes who is crying and then- he knows the woman in the cell. He looks at her, and there is something confusing about the way he's so sure she matters but he can't even recall her name.
The man slowly approaches him, and he shies away. He seems cool, and trustworthy but his mom- Wait. I had a mother, right? I have – " ¿Dónde está mami?" he asks. He thinks it's Spanish. Who taught him Spanish? He is struggling to remember, and there's an intense pain behind his eyes (like looking at the sun accidentally). He's struggling to remember, and his entire body starts to shake.
"Mami?" he repeats, looking around wildly. The woman in front of him, the one that looks vaguely familiar the way people you pass in hallways at school every day do, presses her hand to her mouth. She grabs the man's hand, and he leans into her while holding on to her hand almost too tightly. He can't breathe, he can't breathe, he wants his mother, he needs them, them, them-
" Where are they?" he cries, not even knowing what he's talking about, just knowing there is a them that he is worried about and a them that need to be here but they're not and he is alone and he doesn't know who he is, there's names in his head but he doesn't know who he is and what happened and what is going to happen and where is his family is , surely he has a family-
"We're here, Henry, we're here" the woman suddenly says, trying to grab his hand. He flinches, and tries to move away from her. His lungs are burning even more now, and he is glancing around wildly, trying to see anything he recognizes. There's a desk and a cell and a half-eaten grilled cheese ( he smiles- why?) and then his eyes finally fall on a red jacket, and he is standing up and running towards it without really knowing why.
He grabs it, pushes it against himself and finally stops shaking. He looks at the man and woman who are still staring at him. " Who does this belong to ? " Is Spanish my first language? Is English? Did the same person teach it to me ?
The woman swallows several times before giving him a teary-eyed smile. "Your mother"
"My mother doesn't wear jackets like this "he states it with absolute certainty, but he doesn't remember. And it feels wrong. Like maybe she didn't just wear this jacket, but it meant a lot to her. " I think she wears designer stuff. I think I helped her pick some things out- did I?" he starts out sounding so sure, but he doesn't know. It feels right, the idea that his mom would wear suits and pants that cost a fortune and always looks immaculate. It feels dumb, the idea that his mom wouldn't have mayo on her shirt, that she would rather spend that much money on clothes instead of stuff they like ( like his game console) and that she would ever look like some sort of official.
" She does"
"Well, one of – "
He stares at the both of them, and now he starts shaking again and he has to clutch the jacket really tightly to feel like he might be okay. But before he can demand answers, before he can ask whether his name is Daniel or Henry, before he can ask whether his mom has brown hair or blonde –
The door is thrown open, and everything gets more confusing.
He knows the woman that strides in. She feels too familiar for him to not know. She has blonde hair that is curled, and has the sheriff star pinned to her jeans. The way she strides forward, kind of cocky, is also really familiar and he almost goes to her. Then she opens her mouth and does something totally unexpected
"What the HELL , David?" she basically yells, glaring at the man who is apparently called 'David'. He thinks that doesn't sound right either, but he isn't sure. The woman swaggers over to David, and takes keys from him, before she strides over to the cell. The woman inside stumbles back, slowly glancing up at the woman.
" Emma- "
The sheriff (Emma?) smiles almost shyly at her. That seems uncharacteristic, although he doesn't - he isn't sure. " Hey"
And before he can pin down why the shy smile would be uncharacteristic, why all of this feels kind of weird but he is also absurdly happy – Emma leans in and cups the woman's cheeks. He hears David and the other woman gasp loudly and then-
Emma smiles very brightly, mutters another 'hey' and kisses the familiar stranger. He feels his cheeks flush, but he doesn't look away when Emma brushes her lips very softly against the woman, and squeezes her bicep for a moment before pulling back slowly and glaring at David.
" I told you to back off my girlfriend"
And there's an explosion.
He ends up in a strangely familiar house – did he babysit that boy, the one in Snow's arms?- with a cup of hot chocolate cradled into his hands, two people freaking out and a prisoner seated next to him and sneaking glances at him.
And then there is Emma, who sits really close to Regina with her legs apart and her arm casually leaning on the head seat of Regina's chair, giving her space but at the same time making it clear that she's there. Also, she is totally being passive-aggressive, which he vaguely remembers his mom disliking even it made her roll her eyes totally fondly.
Yeah, he doesn't know what that is all about.
He doesn't know what anything is about, why Snow keeps sniffling and looking at Emma and Regina like she isn't going to jump up and hug them any moment or why David is alternating between smiling tearfully or staring at Regina with this look. And then there's Regina herself, tense and incredibly comfortable at the same time. She keeps looking at Emma like it hurts, like every moment is as much wanted as it is hated and he doesn't even know how he can recognize the look she gets when she is overwhelmed.
" Emma- " Snow sighs, and shares a look with David. He has the impression the two of them do this a lot. Just sharing looks, and thoughts and deciding the most important stuff together.
"Listen, I don't know what's going on but I thought you guys were doing okay"
"What?"
"Come on MM, you know- "
And now the woman's voice is actually breaking and Henry kind of want to hug Snow but she still so much a stranger to him that he just sits there and watches the train wreck. "MM?"
" Yeah, I- " Emma blinks rapidly, seemingly very confused.
" Emma" it is Regina who speaks, seemingly the calmest person in the room ( she isn't. she's just a lot better at hiding it, but Henry somehow knows her tells) " What year is it?"
She states the date, apparently correctly because Regina just nods and doesn't seem perturbed at all. "And where are we?"
" In Storybrooke, Maine"
There are a few more questions like that, hardly significant ones that do little. Once, Regina asks Emma to state her relationship to everyone in the room and Snow actually stands up and walks away. David follows her, and the three of them are left together. Henry starts fidgeting and Regina is obviously trying to keep herself from staring but failing miserably. And Emma immediately smiles at Regina, squeezes her hand briefly.
It could almost be nice- apart from the confusion and the lies and the awkwardness- when Emma suddenly says 'shit Regina, I thought she was doing better' and Regina inhales sharply before plastering on an uncertain smile. " What do you mean, mi- dear?"
" I thought she was finally letting the fairytale stuff go"
Is he the only one who noticed Regina almost blurted something out, and changed her reply at the very last minute? " The fairytale- "
" Yeah. I mean, she stopped calling me like a dozen times a day to ascertain you hadn't poisoned me yet, and I haven't seen her freak out in a while so- "
"Emma- "
Emma swallows, and he recognizes that Regina feels guilty and horrified somehow ( she's pretty good at hiding emotions, but he just knows). He catches the movement of Regina's hand, like she was about to touch Emma for comfort maybe. "I just- she was even agreeing to dinners and stuff, you know ? She even complimented your turnovers!"
He doesn't know why his – Regina ( she isn't anything to him, right? Who is she?) almost flinches. He feels like he should do, like there's something important about apple turnovers. Wait, they never said they were ap-
"I know, carina " Regina seems surprised by the soft, sweet carina that slips out. Emma just smiles at her like she is the world and the sun and the universe.
"Should we ask Archie for help again?" Emma shakes her head. "I mean, I hate it. It sucks, but she needs help"
"Perhaps we do not require doctor Hopper's help"
Emma laughs. "What, babe? Did Archie piss you off? "
" No, why – babe?" he almost giggles at the look on her face.
Emma frowns slightly, and then cocks her head slightly. " Why are you so – "
Right at that moment, Snow and Charming return. Snow's eyes are slightly red, and he is pretty sure there are still tears on Charming's cheek but they smile at Emma and Regina before sitting down. Like it's all normal. He doesn't think it is – but then again, he doesn't know what is normal for these people.
"Seriously, what is going on here?" Emma buts in, glancing at all of them.
" Nothing, sweetheart" Snow says, trying very hard to smile. He can tell she is trying to act as normal as possible, but instead she makes everyone vaguely uncomfortable.
"Okay. So you're just randomly calling me sweetheart now?"
Snow's smile gets even more strained. "I call everyone sweetheart" she looks at Regina. " Isn't that right, sweetheart?"
Regina just stared at Snow. Henry wasn't an legilimency master, but he was pretty sure she was thinking something along the lines '¡qué demonios!' in her mind. He didn't really know why he thought it would be in Spanish.
" Uhm okay " obviously Emma doesn't believe it ( duh. She isn't stupid- he doesn't know how he knows she isn't) but she doesn't press. There's a very heavy silence until he asks 'why do I not remember?'
Everyone stares at him. He doesn't like it, it's too – "I am not crazy " he blurts out, squeezing his fists and his heart racing and it's so important for some reason.
Regina swallows. " Of course you aren't , mijo "
" Why do you call me that?" he whispers
They're keeping something from him. Something big. Something that will make him stop being so scared. " I – " Regina falters, and Emma immediately scoots closer to her, angling her body differently in a move so obviously unconscious that it hurts to watch. For some reason, it makes him want to smile really brightly- the idea that protecting Regina has become an unconscious instinct for Emma an awesome one.
Regina calms down slightly, then smiles at him. " Because that is who you are, mijo "
"I am – "
" You are my son. Te amo, mijo"
He stares at her. He knows she isn't lying and it isn't that she is a crazy person who just thinks he is her son. But he tries to remember first words or first steps or going to school and she isn't there. He tries to remember, he tries until his eyes start to burn and his head starts to hurt so badly and –
She is in front of him in seconds, and he knows why she is hesitating. She doesn't know whether he is okay with her hugging him, and it only takes a small sign that it's okay, it's what might calm him down and then she is. He grabs her tightly, almost remembering.
But it's wrong because he remembers her running from this house and gathering him in her arms and him only pushing, always pushing, never accepting she loved him. And that can't be right. He only remembers the very bare minimum, but it's enough to be a thousand a million percent sure his mom loves him, so much –
and they were really close-
so why would he ever push her away?
It's that evening that things gets worse.
Regina is sitting on her bed, waiting for Emma with bricks sinking into her stomach. She will have to push the woman away because it is so incredibly wrong to hold on as tightly as she wants to. Accepting Emma's touches and smiles and even ki- all of that is only because of false memories, and Regina knows to accept them would be an unforgivable offense.
Still, it doesn't change how much she wants to. How she has foolishly wanted it for years, even though she tried to fight it. How she is so weak and wrong that she cannot even be happy with Emma's friendship – already far more than she deserves – but just has to want more.
And then there's Henry- but she can't think of that. It hurts too much. It took them years to get to this place, to rebuild their relationship until even seeing her when she was a monster apparently won't deter her son from loving her and –
She stifles a sob. She pushes her hand against her mouth, trying to think off all the tricks she taught herself to keep Cora from ever discovering her daughter crying again, after that time. She used to be able to push her emotions down, but that seems to have disappeared. She is an exposed nerve and an open book and it terrifies her.
And right when she is really starting to break down, that's when there's purple smoke and that hated voice.
" How far you've sunk" she's laughing.
She glares up at her own – and yet not, harsher and colder- face. " What do you want?"
The queen shrugs, summoning a chair and a glass of cider with a casual gesture. She sits down and sips her cider. " If I want anything, I do not blabber about it, I just take it"
" Emma is not something you just take"
The queen slowly stands, and stalks towards Regina. " She might be special, but that does not change the fact that she is ours to take and the only reason you are miserable is because you are weak-
Regina jumps to her feet. " Do not treat Emma like she is just another conquest"
" What do you think she is then?" the queen laughs " Are you picturing a perfect happily ever after, with the little snitch crying and holding a speech about rainbow stickers and unicorns? Perhaps Charming walking you down the aisle?"
" No "
"Of course not, because that would imply you would actually stop wallowing in self-pity and stop being so passive"
"We do not deserve her"
" But I thought you were the good and pure one, that by ripping me out you were finally deserving of the fair princess" the queen mocks, getting so close to Regina that she can see that bulging vein.
" I- " that isn't why I did it. I – " I no longer wanted to fight you"
" You were there as well "the queen lowers her voice, like she is sharing a sinful bit of gossip " You enjoyed finally ending that lecherous fool along with me. You despised Snow's perfect curls and the masses screaming her name like she was a maldito saint just as much as I did. It was you as much as I that commanded her heart to be brought to you"
Regina gasps when the queen suddenly grabs one of her hands. " Your hands have gotten as bloody as mine"
She tries to get free. " I just wanted to be free, I just – " she looks at the queen, suddenly nauseous "I never wanted to hurt people, you pushed me- "
" I saved you"
Regina shakes her head, but the queen grabs her chin and yanks her even closer. " I made you strong. I offered you shelter from the king, and Snow. When Daniel's loss threatened to destroy you, I was there to prop you up and turn all that pain into a weapon"
"You made me hurt hundreds of people. Innocents"
" Was Jefferson innocent? Was Leopold?"
" I- "
" Why can you love Cora, and hate yourself? "
"I am not you- "
"But you are. You are not just a sweet girl who dreams of true love and wants to be a hero. You are a queen who would torture and kill for love as well. I may no longer be a part of you , but I am you. And until you accept that, you will never be happy"
The queen disappears, at the exact moment the door opens and Emma walks inside the room. She knows Regina so well that she immediately crosses the room and carefully touches her, not saying anything, no stupid words that don't mean anything and Regina is a weak human being and even hates the best parts of her ( this part) when she allows Emma to hug her and hold on.
Gods, does she hold on. Regina never wants to let go. She meant to throw out the part of her that's selfish, that takes and ruins and still, here she is. Holding on to Emma Swan even though it is unfair and wrong. She just can't – love is weakness and it's an addictive, wonderful weakness Regina has never managed to get rid of.
She definitely isn't going to manage now, when the part of her that tried to reject love most strongly is somewhere out there, and Emma Swan is in her bed, empathic and strong and looking at her with the most tempting expression that almost makes believing it's all real easy.
That they're in love, and it's hard but it is all worth it- they have their son and their little odd family and it's difficult and complicated and painful but so, so good.
Too bad they're not in love ( and even if they were – Regina could never be good enough for the likes of Emma Swan)
Weeks later
"NO " she screams, her magic removing to all the anger and pain and terror with bursts of lights, winds, pushing and pulling and shattering the vials everywhere and setting everything flammable in the room on fire.
She just laughs, and strokes Emma's cheek. Regina screams again when the sword digs in a little deeper, creating a horrifying injury that stains Emma's usual tank top a bright red. Her mind immediately adds the injury is not lethal, and then traitorously adds 'not yet'.
" No, d-don't – " she is hyperventilating now, taking deep gulps but there is no air. She ignores everything her body is going through, and focuses on Emma. She has a few minor injuries, and her hands and feet are bound with usual rope as well as magic. She is surrounded by shattered vials, pieces of bricks and other debris caused by Regina's magic ( the same that automatically sheltered her every time it erupted)
She strains against her own bounds again, but her magic is useless. It's going crazy around the room, although it never hurts anyone, but it barely reacts whenever she actually tries to steer it. It's almost like she a novice again, straining to create a simple fireball.
At the same time, her magic is actually rocking the building, tearing through the walls ( the queen is just as quick to repair them) and creating an actual full-on storm that looks like someone really, really pissed off Zeus. It's a nice little paradox and usually she would be trying to figure out the reason, but she is a little preoccupied.
She struggles against the queen's magic ( and actual restraints ) again, and the queen just smirks. " You love - "
" Emma? Not quite. You got saddled with all those pesky weaknesses, my dear"
She's lying. The queen's love might be twisted into something ugly, something very selfish, but Regina is quite certain she still has strong feelings for Emma. She wouldn't – " You would not harm her"
"I already have"
Regina curses furiously in Spanish, and then releases a bolt of magic energy that separates and attacks the queen from three points. She counters two of them, but the third one slams into her shoulder and makes her fall to the ground. She immediately pushes herself up and grits out " Your little princess will be a fun toy, if you do not give in to my demands"
Regina mutters curses at her, foul ones that she would be embarrassed and horrified by if she was not so enraged. " In fact, I do wonder…" the queen circles Emma, stalking around her " How long would it take to break the saviour?"
She knows Emma is unconscious, that the queen used dark magic that is not dissimilar to a sleeping curse and that she will not recall anything- still, when the queen grabs a shard of glass from the ground, and casually uses it to slice Emma's stomach open and Emma's body jerks-
Regina starts hyperventilating again, and all Cora's speeches replaying in her head aren't enough to stop the tears. Shivers erupt everywhere, and bile creeps from her stomach into her throat, when she hears the familiar hisses. Vipers. The same ones that killed Leopo-
She tastes blood when she buries her teeth into her lips to keep herself from begging. It would never stop the queen, it wouldn't be enough. Still, she almost screams a dozen pleas when the vipers twist around Emma's legs, rear their heads, venom dripping –
They're ripped away violently, Regina's magic ripping off their heads like it's easy and charring their bodies. Regina flinches when the heads fall on the floor, lifeless eyes too close to her feet. She is panting, her mouth tastes of vomit so acutely she really thinks she has thrown up for a moment. She glares at the queen.
They're locked in an intense stare-down for minutes, the spell only broken when the queen suddenly snaps her fingers-
And Emma starts to scream.
Regina reminds herself again and again Emma isn't even conscious, it's some sort of trick, but she is crying and bucking and releasing uncontrollable bursts of magic regardless and then somehow ends up on her knees.
" I will punish you if you deny me any longer. Do you want them to lose their lives?" the queen almost makes the sadness seem genuine. " What will poor Snow say when she enters her home, and finds Grumpy on her table with his axe planted in his chest? What will she do if she finds her little cricket with his tongue ripped out?"
The queen leans in, caresses her cheek. " Henry will be devastated if he discovers his little girlfriend is gone – "
" Don't you dare do to Henry what was done to us"
" Then give me what I want" the queen growls.
Would she hurt Henry like that? The queen isn't part of her anymore. But she remembers – remembers wanting someone that could relate, understand so badly. She remembers wanting Henry's love so badly she lost all common sense.
She watches the queen stalk towards Emma, her hand raised with purple smoke already enveloping the room ( it's a summoning spell) and then she is shouting. The queen turns around, eyebrow arched and the smoke slowly vanishes. The body disappears again, the person she brought here presumably returned to their bed.
Regina blinks, twice, and it's that little movement that dooms them all. She hangs her head and doesn't even flinch away when the queen caresses her cheek again, presses a kiss to her cheek before whispering 'good girl'. She moves away after another touch, strides over to Emma and injects the serum into Emma.
She thrashes, convulses and all her veins swell. Then she starts crying, screaming, her eyes rolling beneath her partially closed eyelids. There's sweat, staining her tank top, sliding down her neck, plastering her hair to her skin. It's like she is trying to break her own spine in half, and then there is suddenly a person separating from her.
Emma – but not Emma, with bleached hair and very intense clothing and this empty look – steps forward, and allows the queen to wrap her arms around her. The queen clutches her hips possessively, and Emma's ( the dark one's?) hands grab the queen. They disappear, grey and purple smoke mingling.
Regina crumples to the ground, and starts to crawl towards Emma.
Okay, so I am exhausted and going to sleep right now. I didn't really edit this, so I apologize for all spelling mistakes and so on.