Brittle Heart ~ Izaya
I sighed as I followed my older brother, Shizuo down the street, a cigarette hanging unlit from my lips.
"Why do you have those things if you don't smoke 'em?" Shizuo finally asked when we stopped at the crosswalk. In case I see someone who is in need of a calming cigarette. I'll have some on me to offer." I replied. "Plus you keep loosing yours every time you get into a fight." I added.
"Whatever." he replied, ruffling my light blue hair as we headed over to the park.
After a while of sitting on a bench my hands began to twitch and my eyes hopped from person to person as they passed.
"Alright. Let's hear it. What's you analysis on who you've met so far." Shizuo finally mumbled, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Those two kids. The quite kid and the loud blonde. Mikado and Masaomi I think." I mused as Shizuo glanced at me.
"My analysis of them is completely different of what one might think. The quite one. He's the dangerous one. The real boss of something big. The blonde. He doesn't want the power. Its like he's been shoved into it without being asked if he wanted it." I mused, handing Shizuo another cigarette as he listened silently.
"Final? The main difference between them is that Masaomi would hesitate to kill someone. Mikado wouldn't." I concluded. "Really? You think so?" Shizuo asked. I nodded in response.
"I also added more on you. You have the taste preference of a child. You like dairy products and sweets, yet dislike the taste of alcohol and coffee." I told him with a smirk.
"Only you would call me a child. And get away with it." he muttered before I noticed him go rigid, staring at someone.
"Shizuo-chan! There you are!" a happy voice called as a smiling male skipped over to us. I quickly looked him over, my mind breaking into its rapid-fire analysis stage as it picked the man apart.
I blinked in surprise when he popped up directly in front of me. "And who's this?! A new girlfriend? Nah! She's to pretty to be dating an ugly mug like you." he teased. I blinked at him in response as Shizuo growled and stalked a few steps away.
"I'm actually his sister. I suggest you move back a step. If I am correct a mailbox is about to be where you are standing." I warned. The male blinked and jumped back as a blue mailbox flew past.
"IIIIZZZZAAAAYYYYAAAA!" my brother yelled as he pulled up a stop sign and began chasing the stranger.
"Hmm. Izaya Orihara. He seems like a special one. I'll have to see more before my analysis can be complete." I mumbled as I watched the two run down the street.
That night I stood silently in the park again before a motorbike pulled up. "Hi Celty." I greeted as the headless woman got off the bike and sat next to me.
"What do you know about Izaya Orihara?" I asked after a few minutes. I watched the woman tap on her phone before reading the message.
'He's the info broker in the city. Shizuo hates him and is always trying to kill him and I think he likes the thrill. Why?" I shrugged. "I'm analyzing him. You know me. I've got a bit so far." I replied.
Celty simply seemed to watch me and I sighed with a grin. "Izaya Orihara. I think as a child something traumatizing happened to him where he felt like he had no control. He seems like a sadist and I think he's only like that because its his way of fighting the lingering fear of the memory that's always in the back of his mind." I told her, looking up at the sky in thought.
"I also think he might have high anxiety. It probably only goes away when he thinks he's in control of someone." I added softly, feeling Celty tap my shoulder.
'How do you do that? You can read people so easy. Its scary sometimes because you only have to see them and meet them once before you know everything they don't want you to.' she asked. I shrugged again.
"It keep me sane. I've never questioned it. Its like compulsive. I saw a doctor for it and he told me to stop for a month. I can't do it Celty. The voices start up. The screaming, fighting, the memories." I whispered, raising my hands to my head, threading my fingers in my hair.
"I can't stand it. It seems like this is the only way to stop them. They're so loud. It hurts when they come." I whimpered. I felt Celty's hand rest on my back as I leaned over, shaking slightly.
After a few minutes of silence I let out a sigh and straightened, giving the woman a smile. "Thanks for sitting with me. I think I'm going to walk around. I've got to figure this guy out. It'll drive me nuts." I joked with a laugh as a puff of smoke escaped her hood.
I silently waved as Celty drove off on her bike before heading into the city, merging with the crowds as my mind drifted to the strange male again.
Over the next week I ran into the strange man a total of 20 times, each time he was running from my brother but would pause long enough to greet me with a smile, causing me to analyze him more and more.
I sat quietly on the couch glaring at the coffee table before slamming my fist down, startling Shizuo as I abruptly stood.
"Where you going?" he asked. "Out. I'll be back later. If not I'll be back tomorrow. I'll call if longer." I replied, not looking at him as I pulled on my coat and left, slamming the door and heading down the steps. Celty sat on her bike at the bottom and I smirked at her in greeting.
"Think you can locate the broker?" I asked. 'Already did. He's at his place. I'll take you. But are you sure you want to truly meet and analyze him?' she asked as I climbed onto the bike behind her.
"I've already done so. I just want to confirm it." I replied as she kicked the bike to life and we roared down the street.
"Now wait just a minute! You can't just barge in here-" "Shut up." I cut the woman off as she followed me down the hall to Izaya Orihara's apartment, myself closing the door in her face once I reached it.
"Damn she's got an annoying voice." I muttered, walking into the large living room.
"Well! Shizu-chan's sister! How can I help you?" I narrowed my eyes at the male lounging on the couch in front of me with a large smile.
"Tell me if I'm correct." I ordered. The male simply tilted his head, seeming intrigued and amused by my order.
"Izaya Orihara. I think as a child something traumatizing happened to you where you felt like you had no control. You seems like a sadist and I think you're only like that because its your way of fighting the lingering fear of the memory that's always in the back of your mind. You also have high anxiety. It probably only goes away when you thinks you're in control of someone." I spat out, repeating what I told Celty as the male's amused smile dropped and he simply stared at me in surprise.
"And with those things said, I also believe that you would have night-terrors and have since you were little, but you never were able to get comfort for them from everyone always pushing you away or telling you to grow up." I went on, my voice shaking.
"And another thing, I think that you only mess with people like you do is because when you stay idle for too long…you hear them too. The voices. Screaming inside your head. Screaming from the memories you wish to forget. Memories that wake you up at night." I continued, bowing my head as I heard him get up and walk toward me.
"I'm not done." I growled, hearing him stop. "You might seem cold-blooded to people when they look at you, but you're more human than they think. Or even you think for that matter." I mumbled.
"Your heart is more brittle than anyone could ever imagine." I whispered, stepping forward and placing a hand on the male's chest, right over his heart.
"So much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it'd break easily. Which is why, I think, you chose from the start to avoid it all, to love all humanity. Not to accept it, not to face it. To avoid it." I quietly let my head fall forward to rest against the male's shoulder, surprised slightly that he hadn't pulled a gun or knife on me yet.
"It's something like how a windsock flies. On first sight the mouth is wide open, like its smiling and accepting everything, with a huge capacity… But in reality it's a cylinder with no bottom. That's why any amount can go through the mouth. And you can love anything while forcing yourself not to feel." I finished, my voice trailing off shakily as I let out a soft breath, pulling back and moving away from the male before looking at him.
I searched his face, finding it blank as he stared at me before I saw a flash of vulnerability and surprise in his eyes. "Would you like to sit?" he asked softly, motioning to the couch.
I nodded and did so as he sat across from me.
"Now, why don't you tell me about how you know so much about me…my new favorite human." he asked as I gave him a soft smirk.
"It's a gift and a curse…." I replied as we began to talk through the night.