Chapter 32: One More Time
The black black fuzzy landscape fizzled away in Lincoln's mind. His eyes opened gently, finding himself still in his seat in the tricked out UTV side-by-side. It was hovering in place, parked adjacent to a corner store he seemed to remember.
His stomach, still in knots but basically empty of all contents, was telling his body he needed water.
"Good lord, what in heck…Lynn," Lincoln growled, rubbing his temples, exhausted from trying to even remember all the events that led up to this point.
"I'm done. Seriously, this has literally been the longest god damn day in my life, and I was sucked in a twister. Hey! Up there, that tall dude in my delusion, YOU ASSHOLE," Lincoln shouted out to the heavens above irately "can you give it a break? Please? I want my bed, a Pibb, a GIANT stack of Ace Savy comics and Bun-Bun…ugh forget this whole day and screw you ya procrastinating deviant jerk-off fuck-twat…hehe, Luna would be proud of that insult, hehe."
He wobbled out of the UTV, barely keeping his legs under him, still weak and wobbly.
"Okay, bearings Lincoln. This is outside, I'm still a little messed up, head is pounding, I don't see Lynn anywhere, and, how the heck is the UTV hovering? Must be Lana and Lisa's secret project shtick."
"Please pardon my intrusion young man but, how does this vehicle maintain electrostatic balance while canceling the inertial equilibrium of the masses involved? Unless this is not purely a quantum repulsion application but also integrating ionic inversion," a polite, rather eager young man asked Lincoln, someone curiously wearing a black ski hat on his head.
"Sockhead, you're my pal and all, but, seriously, gotta knock off that science mumbo-jumbo out here in the city," a shorter young man complained to him, before giving a cheeky grin, "but anyways kid, my buddy does have a good eye for techno-whats-its, let's call em, profitable deals. Make some serious dough in that thing fluffles?"
"Did that three-haired guy call me fluffles?" Lincoln thought, twirling his white hair nervously. Suddenly the ground shook like a huge slab of earth caved in. Lincoln turned around and saw a massive young man, as tall as Leni but with a goofy dapper smile with virtually no chin.
"Double D! This is like the Hover Craft model from my "Giant Leeches of the Lochness vs the Astro Invading Robot Alien Blood Suckers of Albosutrus 9-V! Can I take a ride? Pleeaaaaase?"
"Hey Lumpy! Hands off, I'm goin for a ride first!"
"Gentlemen, gentlemen please! Let's be cordial. This dazzling dynamic device is not ours, and as I constantly implore with monotonous but little results, we must ask permission to understand the nature of this marvel of movement."
"But…Leeches vs Robot Aliens Double D," the big one longingly cried out.
"Yo, Washington, take me for a try will ya? I wanna see what this baby is made of," the short one said with a smirk, trying to pop in, before a sudden force field catapulted him full blast into a telephone pole.
"Ow! I'm okay…stupid…HEY KID, WHAT'S UP!? YOUR DANG BACK TO THE FUTURE RIDE TOSSED ME OUT."
Lincoln just took several steps back to let this all play out; something was telling him to just let this work itself out.
"I told you not to invade yourself in the domain of another individual's private property. Serves you right E-WHAAA!" The black ski-hat wearing angrily yelled out as the shorter one tossed him into the UTV, before it pulsated him straight out the other side, slamming into the bigger young man. He didn't even flinch.
"Nah ah ah Double D, do not hog all the fun you silly dipper, MY TURN HA HA HA HA!" He threw himself in the UTV and kept being thrown out repeatedly over and over, laughing to his heart's content.
"Well it seems they're a repulse force field designed for non-designated users," the black ski-hat wearing one mumbled under his breath.
"Well Gee, I would have NEVER guess that one Einstein," the short one sarcastically quibbled, rubbing his head in pain as the one with the hat cracked his back.
"How long can he last?" Lincoln called out to the both of them, referring to the giggling big one being bounced around like a basketball back and forth.
"Kid, it'll cost ya a quarter to know, but it's one long time. What's the record Sock-Head?"
"Two days, twenty-three hours, seventeen minutes and fourteen seconds on a treadmill carrying three hundred pounds just for a single piece of buttered toast coated in jawbreaker powdered sugar."
A huge purple van that was refurbished with all new fire design paint, tires and arguably a new engine block, skidded up to the two guys.
"Oh booooooooooys!" A deep voiced woman with her face covered in orange curly hair called out from the driver's side, "we found them!"
"Yeah lil muffin, it was sooo worth it for you," said from the passenger seat a blue-haired woman with half her face blocked out, pulling out a bag and showing gigantic candies. "The Double Deluxe Detroit Jaw Jestroying Jawbreakers!"
"Pooooooookey Bear!" Called out a blonde one with buck teeth, throwing open the side door of the purple van, "get in here! I got you the super duper extra rare Gravy and buttered toast flavored jawbreaker," she said with a bashful giggle.
"And for my lil Kiwi hunk his Wrecking Ball Strawberry Kiwi," the orange haired one called out, waiving around a huge bag full of them.
"And dream boat got the Saturn-Orbit fruit assortment," the blue-haired one called out seductively, showing her bag off.
The big one saw the sight and purposely aimed into the hover craft to propel him straight into the back van, now cuddling with a big smile the blonde girl as they each took a jawbreaker.
The young men with the ski hat and the three hairs just gave giant overjoyed looks at the girls and jawbreakers.
"MY APOLOGIES BUT WE MUST DEPART!"
"MY GIRL! Always knows how to treat her man right!"
And like that, both ricocheted into the van, and it went speeding off down the corner.
Lincoln stood there dumbfounded.
"Huh…yup, that about sums up how random my day's been."
"I'll say Little Bro," Lynn nonchalantly said out of nowhere.
"YOU!" Lincoln roared at her, giving her an enraged look.
"Cool it doofus, I got ya something," Lynn said, tossing Lincoln a bag of sugar free kiss candies.
"Literally THE worst candy on the planet Lynn," Lincoln moaned as he looked at the small bag of candies. "And what the flying hell is wrong with you? Dragging us out of the house while we're still messed up, stealing Lisa and Lana's experimental ride, they're gonna be pissed and probably get back at us now, and not to mention poor Luna and Luan are still baked out of their minds probably at home, god knows what the house looks like!"
"Hehe, I know, crazy ass day, eh? And it ain't even 4PM yet."
"Why are we even out n about Lynn? We gotta get this vehicle home and get the house cleaned up. I really rather not be grounded till I'm 18 for taking drugs."
"Go fuck yourself Lynn."
"I do, and so do you probably, but that's not the point," Lynn said with a smirk as Lincoln frowned with a giant blush, "point is, I got all my new plays to my teammates all over town. Probably THE best play ideas ever made for football, see?" Lynn said, pulling out a mini booklet of all the new football plays she had just whipped up.
Lincoln of course being who he was, had no clue as to what he was looking at.
"I don't get it Lynn. You know I don't know football that well, and these plays…oof, it's like reading architect blueprints."
"Good. And you're supposed to be my supportive brother and say 'Good job big sister! You're gonna kick ass at the Championships!' something like that Doofus."
"Good job big sister, you're gonna kick ass at the Championships," Lincoln said in the most uninspired, annoyed tone possible.
"Pft, glad you ain't a cheerleader Linc, although your probably could get on the squad with that ass, hahaha!"
"Shut up, now let's go home if you're done, cause I'm literally done with today."
"Sure, but I'm hungry again, and look where we parked? This kickass lil market," Lynn said with a big grin, "this guy is super old school, but not like the "Flip will rip you off" sorta way. Come on, I know you're hungry and thirsty too."
Lynn placed her head by Lincoln's stomach. They both heard his stomach gurgle like an alligator.
"I hate you sometimes," Lincoln sighed, "but yeah, I'm hungry as hell, which is exactly why I wanna go home. I got no money on me."
"Got it covered!" Lynn proudly said pulling out some spare cash from her folder, "always carry petty cash in it for me players after the game dude. Gotta keep good players happy, that's the trick!"
"Well…I mean that is a nice sentiment, and I am hungry…wait a sec! I know this food market!" Lincoln said with amazement, recognizing the 24/7 establishment.
"Well yeah, I mean this place doesn't got Flip's Flippies, but it's still like 99% better than anything else Flip has. Come to think of it, Flip should just shut down that part of the store and just make a Flippies stand-"
"Good thoughts Lynn but, was the store owner an older guy, total blue collar vibe, wearing a red hat."
"The Trump hat? Yeah, I think he was sneakin a look at a Playboy, why?"
"Ha! Watch this," Lincoln said, pulling Lynn inside the store, and there he was, looking secretly at a saucy magazine.
"Hehe, Sierra Twan, what you won't do you slutty HEEEEEEEY KID!"
"Hi Jagger! Long time no see," Lincoln said happily to him, Lynn smiling next to him.
"I'll say, you gotta buy some more stuff from me, hahaha!"
"How ya been Jagger?"
"Oh, dealing with people who got a problem with my hat n shit as usual, but the mags and running a good store helps."
"Oh, uhm, sorry about that Jagger."
"Stay away from communists kiddo. Saaaaaay, you been getting high? You should wait till you're at least like, eighteen or something."
"What! Me high? Naaaaaah."
"Hmph…whatever, just don't knock a girl up high or you'll get stuck with child support payments for eighteen years. Say, wasn't she just in here?"
"Oh yeah, I was, I'm hungry again, and nice to meet you sir, I'm Lynn."
"Awwww, what a keeper. Kid? She's a looker, got a real nice girlfriend you got there. Condoms are in the back corner by the goat weed."
Both Lynn and Lincoln flushed red as wine.
"What? I don't give a fuck what you kids do, just don't get on welfare, you're too smart for that."
"Uh, Jagger…this is actually my sister."
Jagger's magazine wilted out of his hands as he stared blankly into the abyss.
Lynn couldn't help but secretly laugh her ass off and get all giddy at being confused as Lincoln's girlfriend. "I should NOT be enjoying this as much as I am," she thought.
An awkward quiet punctuated the environs, before Jagger put up the peace sign.
"Two things on-the- house for each of ya if we never speak of this again."
"Deal," both said, giving Jagger a fist bump each. The momentary thought messed of Jagger so much he put away his magazine and put on Fox News to watch story reports. Lincoln rubbed his hand down his face while Lynn kept laughing in her hand.
"Second time I made that dumb ass mistake. Probably the girl he was getting those headphones I nearly killed myself over for," Jagger mumbled to himself, before he laughed a pundit joke about the massive amount of infrastructure spending Trump was making Congress do.
"So, you met him before Linc?" Lynn asked.
"A little while ago. He helped me find a gift for Luna, those purple skull headphones."
"Oh man, you got those from here? Kickass, Luna was telling me you can't get those anywhere anymore."
"Exactly, I found them hidden between the shelves. So, get what you want, I'mma get a few things."
Lynn went to grab a few breakfast burritos while Lincoln grabbed a small plastic cup and filled it with French vanilla creamer shots and a tall containier of water.
"Man, you sure drink a ton of that shit," Lynn said, seeing Lincoln scarfed it down in one gulp.
"It helps me relax and unwind."
"And probably gonna get diabetes with all that sugar dude."
"Better than shoving those sacks of cholesterol and death down my throat," Lincoln retorted back.
"Hey! Breakfast burritos are a national treasure. Besides, I'm gonna buy a few extra things, see?" She said happily, with several big handfuls of lindor white chocolate truffles.
"Oh heck yeah, now you're talking Lynn!"
"Go get some, my treat Lincoln."
"Awwww, thank you Lynn," Lincoln said as he pulled her in a tight hug.
Lynn stopped herself from giggling loudly.
"So does this make up for me dragging you out bro?"
"Not even close."
Lynn and Lincoln got their items and bid Jagger farewell as they headed back home. It took longer because the police were on their tail several times; Lynn magically stumbled on the cloak button, only after she accidently rammed the UTV through another huge sign right through a Pest Eliminator Advertisement. Lincoln was pretty sure it was intentional but laughed it off.
And some time later, they got home. Mr. Grouse saw Lynn and Lincoln hover it back into the garage, still wondering how something so big disappeared.
"Eeeeeh, probably tunnels. Freaky neighbors, but least their cookin ain't too bad."
Lincoln and Lynn followed one by one out of the garage.
"HEY LOUDS!" Mr. Grouse called out to them. They both waited nervously.
"…meh, I got nothing. Just tell your dad I want more lasagna, and Lincoln, I got more logs being delivered in a day, get ready to earn some more dough, k boy?"
"Okeydokey Mr. Grouse! And can you not tell anyone about-"
"You got two bucks?" Mr. Grouse said quickly. Lynn pulled a two dollar bill and made a plane out of it, shooting it over to Mr. Grouse's left pocket.
"Been inside all day watchin me shows. Didn't see nothing at all," he said with a wink to Lincoln and Lynn. They all gave each other nods before they went into their respective homes.
"Holy crudstones finally! No more crazy shenanigans, no more cheese wheels and stank ass sewers, no roller derby showers, drug brownies, tripping off my balls, losing it, and no more forced hover trips," Lincoln said proudly and happily, giving Lynn a raspberry, her giving him the finger with her own raspberry, "just, a nice, quiet time now."
He threw his shoes off by the back kitchen door and laid back on the kitchen floor.
"Oh my god this feels comfy," he said with a happy squirm.
"Hey Worm-Coln, you still high?"
"I…maybe a little, but at least I can focus. How about you?"
"Oh I'm totally still messed up. Surprised you can't see those colorful bunnies bouncing on your chest," Lynn said with a laugh, as though she was series. He looked at his chest; nothing. But he did see the colors on the floor oscillate.
"Crap, and to think you managed drive Lisa and Lana's hover car."
"Yeah right? More of a testament to them being able to design something a doped up idiot like me can drive with no experience, ha!"
"Your words, not mine," Lincoln laughed, wiggling back up, twirling a few times to crack his back and neck.
"Hold up, here," Lynn said, grabbing Lincoln to give him a proper all body crack.
"Man you're the best at that Lynn."
"I'm literally the best at everything, now my turn," she said, turning around and unconsciously brushing up against Lincoln's front harder than she should have. He popped her back and chest, Lynn feeling tingles more sensitive than the pop tingles rippling her; she couldn't help but give a lusty grin, thankful Lincoln couldn't see her face.
"Totally lil doofus. You ain't bad yourself. Now let's go hang on the couch and scarf on these white chocolates. I got like thirteen left."
"In a bit. I wanna get this place cleaned up first and make sure Luna and Luan are okay."
"Oh they're fine worry-wart."
"Still gotta be the good lil bro Lynn."
"And that's why I love you doofus," Lynn said with a smirking wink. Lincoln headed out of the kitchen, all while Lynn couldn't stop herself ogling Lincoln from behind.
"God, thin frame, bubbly ass and big dick," she thought as drool oozed out of her lustful smirk.
"You say something Lynn?" Lincoln said, turning back instantly, freaking Lynn out.
"I SAID…I'll make sure the kitchen is all cleaned up for you, since you're doing the whole house and high-older sister checkup thingy."
"And that's why I love ya Lynn," Lincoln said with a sweet toothy smile before he went out to the living room. Lynn just nearly melted and made a puddle of drool where she was standing.
"I…am…fucked, and god damn it, now I actually gotta do shit."
Lincoln swept through the house and was rather surprised to find it cleaned up. He searched the living room, his parent's room, the dining room, hearing Lynn hum a football sports-news theme, then out the front door to make sure everything wasn't amiss. Just the crisp fall air in the low grey clouds. He took a moment to scan the suburban landscape, really appreciating the fall colors sweeping all around with gusto.
He went outside and circled the house, making sure there were no crazy drug packets Luan may have forgotten about, then backtracked into the basement through the outside storm doors. Nothing wrong, it anything the basement smelled extremely fragrant, Luan's coconut dryer-ball a sign she just did laundry.
Lincoln went back outside, checked the backyard, the sides of the house, a quick look over the house, still lovingly dilapidated in its own special way, then back inside.
He rushed to the upstairs. The red carpet was a little warped so he fixed that, then went room by room to make sure they weren't total disaster zones, starting with his.
His room was still surprisingly in one piece. Then onto Lisa and Lily's room. Still intact, though some questionable sticky notes said "check LL6 genetic gamete alteration micronic atlas" "Post Trachael Analysis in LL10" "Neurochemical Stimuli Memory Storage LL4" "Considerations for permanent gamete alterations of LL3" whatever those meant, more of Lisa's science sticky notes. Lily had a huge plasma screen tv with mountains of cartoon dvds, especially of an assortment of shows she looked way too young to be watching like Futurama, Archer and Venture Bros, although she had the entire Looney Tunes collection too.
"Lisa, I need to have a talk with you as to what you let Lily watch," Lincoln sighed, "no telling what she's hearing from those shows."
Next Lincoln checked Lola and Lana's room. He tiptoed in there to make sure he didn't disturb the pile of animals sleeping together in Lana's bed, and Lola's bed had a "touch my bed and die Lincoln et all, except Leni and Lily" sign hanging above it, with heart shapes splattered all over it.
"Yup, all good here. Get some sleep everyone," he whispered to Charles and all the animals; he noticed the tarantula being protectively huddled around by everyone, with Walt giving this very intense look of "don't tell Leni or I'll pick your eyes out."
"Whoa Walt, it's cool, it's cool."
He walked out of the room, a little baffled by how protective the other pets were of the huge tarantula but not too worried by it.
"Note to self, keep Leni from Lana's side of the room."
He next ventured to Lucy and Lynn's room; still cluttered but Lynn must have done an extremely quick clean up of her side, though he dare not even think of touching Lucy's side. It gave him goosebumps. Suddenly a few tabs from the window took his attention.
"Oh, Lucy's bats, hold up!"
Lincoln pulled open the window and the huge flock of bats fluttered onto him, giving him fuzzy wet kisses before flying and hanging upside down inside the dark mysterious domains of Lucy's bed curtains.
"Awwwww, you guys are super cute. So, looks like the room is pretty good."
He left the room and next checked Leni's room. It was still lavished with Leni's fashion styles, orderly and organized. With how…unique Leni could be mentally, it surprised Lincoln how organized Leni was with her room. He did see some bunny ears on her sewing table by the sewing and fabric machine. It had a weird note in Luna's writing.
"Thanks Leni! I'll send you the rest for an idea I have."
"Huh, what's Luna having Leni make that requires bunny ears?"
He let that thought wither as he laid on Leni's bed to relax for a moment. He still remembered the few nights that Lori had moved out that Leni hinted at being so lonely that he felt he needed to spend the night with her to keep her company. One night all the siblings crashed in the room, another night everyone along with his parents slept in there, then a week later Lori came by for a sleepover; that made Leni's day. And for a week after Lincoln spent the night with Leni. She did treat him like a stuffed animal at night though, and it slowly began to mess with his sleeping schedule, plus a few almost awkward times when he woke up during wet dreams or with a hard on early in the morning. He felt so bad one morning cuddled against Leni and he was at full mast on her butt. It freaked him out so much that was the last night he stayed in Leni's room for a long while…until like the next month when she had a nightmare and no one else wanted to have the giant strongwoman cuddle them to death in their sleep. Nope, that was protective little brother's job.
He saw one of Leni's sandals and placed his foot next to it.
"Yeesh, even if she's gigantic I still got giant feet. Friggin dad genetics."
He left Leni's room and headed for the ladies of the hour; Luan and Luna's room.
He gave a few gentle taps.
Several firm knocks.
"Luna? Luan? Are you okay in there?"
Lincoln knocked multiple times, still waiting for a response.
Yet again nothing.
"Okay…I gotta know if they're okay…a slooooow open and inspection."
He began super slowly opening their door, keeping his hand covered on his face so only some vision from one eye could see anything in case they were indecent.
"Luna probably wouldn't care but, still gotta be respectful to her, plus Luan might kick my ass if I just barged in."
After a painfully comical and protracted thirty seconds of opening their door, he carefully looked around, then felt at peace seeing what was happening.
"Well I'll be. They're passed out harder than boulders," he thought, hearing both of them snore loudly, Luan cuddled in her bed, albeit with a rather large red mark on her forehead, and Luna with a similar mark and bump on her forehead. Luna was in a far less gallant position.
Lincoln couldn't believe Luna fell asleep in that pose, ass up and legs spread-eagled on the bean bag chair, her freakishly huge tongue dangling out with streams of drool pouring off the sides.
"Good lord Rocker girl, what did you do?" Lincoln quietly whispered, bending down next to her and giving her a ginger kiss on her forehead. She suddenly smiled and mumbled "Bro…the concert…Abbey Roads Crossin mate…gonna be late for Paul n Ringo."
"Oh my god ahahhahaha, she's dreaming we're meeting the surviving Beatles in London together I bet," Lincoln thought with a huge grin, bending down and planting another kiss on her cheeks.
He turned to check on Luan; she was big spooning her pillow, legs twitching as she snored and her buck teeth chattered a bit.
"Hehe, that's cute as hell," Lincoln thought, giving her side a hug, although seeing her huge boobs jiggle in her sleep.
"Don't stare, don't stare," he mumbled to himself, giving him a few slaps before he bounced off the bed and left their room.
"Well…everything checks out. All is well…now to see what fresh hot hell Lynn made downstairs."
Lincoln shot downstairs to see what Lynn did.
Surprisingly she actually cleaned up the kitchen, even though it was mostly cleaned up by Luan, Lynn did a little bit of extra light cleaning. She just happened to be pretend-scrubbing a mark out of the tile, having heard Lincoln's footsteps and anticipating his entrance, angled her ass to be in as suggestive a manner as possible. Unfortunately, Lincoln fell right forward for it and was dumbstruck looking at Lynn rocking back in forth, force-scrubbing and groaning out a bit suggestively.
"I'm gonna rub you out of existence you huge fuck, I'm stronger," Lynn growled out.
Lincoln blushed as his mind wandered further than he was comfortable with yet again, after all the tension and awkwardness of today.
He walked back out, then stomped his way in the kitchen.
"Hehe, dork. I knew he liked my ass," Lynn thought with a smirk.
"Hey! Good job Lynn! I'm surprised you're actually cleaning."
"Pft, told you I would. Hey, get me one of my protein shakes ready will ya? The ones that Leni makes?"
"Sure, the one in the back left fridge?"
"Yup. Leni's the master with those dude."
"She is, I'm glad we started drinking those, makes the best for each family member," Lincoln said with a happy grin, grabbing one Leni pre-made shake for him, seeing the stacks for each of the family members based on how Leni made each flavor.
"Thanks bro. Go hang on the couch and put something good on. I'll be there in a minute, almost done."
"Roger that Lynn."
"And nothing dorky ya nerdo."
Lynn quickly finished up her partial cleaning and headed to the couch with her protein shake, Lincoln already having scarfed his down.
"Yo, so is everything all cool with Clown McGee and Rock in Rollin-Thunder-Thighs?"
"Yeah, they're passed out hard right now in their rooms. Luan seems to have done a little sprucing up so that made it easier. Your room seems okay right now, you know besides the smell of sweat and chedder feet on your side of the room."
"Shut up Stincoln, I'll show you chedder feet," Lynn said, shooting him a raspberry and shoving her foot in his face.
"GROOOOOSS! I'M DEAD, TOXIC TOE CHEMICALS ARE IONIZING MY LUNGS! GAAAAH!"
"First, you know for a fact they don't stink, I used exfoliating citrus body soap on em when we got back to the house earlier, so shut the heck up, second, you're a drama queen you feminine twinkie boy, now what are we watching Lame-O?"
"Found something you might like, it's a classic," Lincoln said proudly, popping on Netflix and displaying the title.
"Hell yeah! Remember the Titans is one of my favs man!" Lynn said ecstatically.
"Oh I know, Lori told me about your crush on Sunshine," Lincoln said with a smirk, Lynn going wide-eyed, her jaw dropping.
"Hehe, Lori was right."
"SHUT IT…that was a long time ago," she said with a pouty look, her face beet red.
"Yeah, uh huh, sure."
"Just start the fucking movie...I'm gonna get Lori back," Lynn mumbled under her breath, and for the first time in a long while, they relaxed and watched the movie.
It was a wonderful few hours of peace, just the focus on the movie, being enraptured into the dynamics of the racial tensions, sport dynamics, work ethic, Lynn loved it. Lincoln liked it for her, even though he wasn't that much into sports or sports movies. He did mess with her a few times during the movie.
"There he is."
"There's your Sunshine Lynn."
"I said pipe down twerp."
"Are my nieces and nephews gonna be freckled aaaaand blonde?"
"I'm gonna kick your ass you rabbit-ass lookin nerd."
Lincoln just laughed his ass off at that rebuttal. Lynn smirked as she won that exchange, but other thoughts trickled in her mind.
"Yeah, I do have a crush on him…but I have another Sunshine…and his hair is lighter n brighter," Lynn thought swooningly.
"Do me a solid bro," she suddenly said, plopping her legs in Lincoln's lap. "Give them a nice quick massage, they're still sore from earlier."
"Why the hell would I do that?"
"Because you love me, and more importantly, ya owe me."
"…how in hell, gal and perdition do I owe you after the litany of crap you pulled on me and the family today?"
"Because I saved you multiple times and haven't beaten you up," Lynn said with a sinister smile.
"Oh come on Lynn, I'm tired and I just wanna relax and watch your sports movie in peace, I'm actually liking it."
"Pleaaaaaaaaaaase?" Lynn said with those cursed puppy dog eyes before she booped her toes on Lincoln's face. Lincoln sniffled and sneezed, pushing them away but she kept poking them on him.
"You're not gonna stop are you."
"You sadistic evil living jock strap."
"Love ya too broski, now get to it, my feet need popping."
Lincoln huffed loudly as he started massaging them and her upper ankles and calfs, Lynn scooting down and sprawling out in relief from Lincoln's fingers at work. He just grumbled a few times before letting his mind and hands methodically take over while he watched the movie. Finishing up within five minutes.
"Mmmmmm, thanks lil bro. But only fives minutes?"
"I'll be right back, I need to go put my hands in aqua regia to disinfect and clean them," he said blandly.
"Lame-O," Lynn mumbled with a smile, "what is that, one of Leni's perfumes or new soap lotions? I swear you're the girliest guy I know, hehehe."
"You never did well in science class have you," Lincoln said rolling his eyes to her.
"I'm awesome at science! The science of kickin butt, taking names, beating everyone at sports and being number one! Oh, and kicking your butt too at everything."
"Except at strategic planning, yeah yeah yeah bro, whatever, go use those skills as a manager at Flips."
"Hell nah Lynn, you remember when I worked there with Clyde? Guy's as cheap as a…uhm…"
"A Flip? He's his own standard hahahahah!"
"I guess he is, ha! Dunno anyone else who's as cheap as Flip, except maybe…nah, nah, it's totally Flip."
"So you know when the fam is getting home Linc?"
"They texted earlier that they were still out at Dairyland and got some sweet new passes to a new joint that's an affiliate. Lisa really scored big with the negotiations with that place outta settlement."
"Yeah…you think they'll let us back in again if they see us?"
"…I'm not going back there for a year," Lincoln said deadpanned, "and anyways, I wonder what this place is," Lincoln said, pulling his phone out and about to check his messages…multiple text messages suddenly popped up one after the other, all from his parents, and then a few from Pop-Pop and one from Gran-Gran.
Lincoln quickly read through the messages.
"…oh shit, I knew I should have set my cell to ring and not vibrate," he said, smacking himself in the forehead. The backlog of messages all hit at once.
"What's up Linc?"
"Lots apparently, I gotta…hold on, need to start texting everyone bac-"
Suddenly a few knocks happened on their front door. Lynn rushed up and peeked out the eyehole, then rushed the door open.
"Pop-Pop! Gran-Gran!" Lynn estatically shouted out, diving into both of them for a big hug.
"Hey sports star! How the heck are ya doing my number one sports player?" Pop-Pop said with a huge burly hug.
"My goodness I Lynn you're absolutely phenomenal in that last video you sent Pop-Pop. He showed me what you did on the field, you were better than all the boys I used to cheerleader for back in the day," Gran-Gran said happily as she pulled Lynn in for her own hug.
Lincoln catapulted over to hug the both within seconds.
"Hey there kiddo!"
"I love when he gives us those white-haired hugs Albert."
"Gran-Gran! Pop-Pop! I am sooooo sorry, I didn't check my cellphone at all. We sort of had a crazy day," Lincoln said with a nervous laugh.
"Giving Dairyland heck is all in a good day's work Lincoln. Now how is my lookalike?"
"Tired and drained, hahahaha."
"I figured lil buddy."
"Pft, I'm still all wired and ready to kick butt, see?" Lynn said, pulling a few karate and martial arts moves. Suddenly she felt a violently flash of purple and yellow swirl around and tackle her down.
"LYNN!" The hyperactive voice called out, before it swirled and tackled down Lincoln.
"WHOA!" Lincoln yelled out as he twirled, finding his footing and realizing who was dangling off him.
"Huh, she was passed out hard in the car," Gran-Gran said.
"That granddaughter has more electricity than a lightening storm," Pop-Pop joked.
"Lily?" Lincoln and Lynn both called out in surprise.
"Whoa, what is Lily doing here? And where is everyone else?" Lynn called out.
"Well it's funny that you mention that," Pop-Pop said, before a series of loud honks blasted from the street. It was their entire Retirement home posse calling out for them.
"Oh crudstones. Gran-Gran, we can't be late," Pop-Pop said alertly.
"Late to what? What's going on Pop-Pop? Gran-Gran?"
"We won a trip to the Bahamas Lincoln!" Pop-Pop said happily.
"And all did! And we were on our way to the airport but your parents called us for a favor-"
"HOLD YOUR HORSES, WE'RE ON OUR WAY…that Seymour Gran-Gran, I'm gonna-"
"Never you mind him Albert, remember, you'd twist him into a pretzel if your not careful," Gran-Gran said sweetly, peppering him in a cheek kiss. Pop-Pop flushed with a big goofy grin.
"We gotta go kiddos! Love you dearly, and we'll chat soon buddy, just gotta get set up on out of-"
"SEYMOUR YOU'RE MY PAL BUT I SWEAR I WILL SHOVE THE MOST POINTED END OF YOUR WALKING STICK SO FAR UP YOUR….uhm…" Pop-Pop mumbled, trailing off as he turned back to see Lincoln and Lynn dying of laughter at the door.
"Looks like you gotta go. We got Lily," Lynn said, letting Lily climb on her like she was King Kong on the Empire State Building. "Come over here Lily and give Gran-Gran and Pop-Pop one last big huggy."
Lincoln, Lynn and Lily were about to give them hugs before Gran-Gran turned around.
"I almost forgot! These are some gifts I made for you all," she said happily, hauling a huge neatly folded array of bags onto the couch. Out spilled a myriad of sweaters, each one tailored to the color scheme and personality of the Loud siblings and parents.
"Awwwwwwwwww, Gran-Gran," Lincoln and Lynn said, giving a sweet kiss to each cheek, before Gran-Gran pulled them both into her embrace.
"I wanted to personally make you all something for this coming winter. It's going to be very very cold so I want my new grandbabies all snuggly warm."
"We"ll love em Gran-Gran, thank you very much," Lincoln sweetly said.
"One more big ole hug before we got to go. Say, where's my comedian and rocker grand kids?" Pop-Pop asked.
"They're still sleeping, they weren't feeling good today, so you may wanna avoid seeing them in case they have a cold ya know?" Lynn said.
"Good point. Well we'll figure out a way to use that crazy technology to face time chat thingy."
They all group hugged one more time, Pop-Pop surprisingly even in his older age able to pick them all up.
"Goodbye kids. We love you very much."
And like that, Gran-Gran and Pop-Pop headed back in the car, Pop-Pop looking ready to beat Seymour's head in while Lincoln and Lynn laughed.
"Wow! A trip to the Bahamas, that's neato," Lincoln said as they watched them drive off.
"But how the heck did Lily end up with them? She was with everyone else earlier?"
Lincoln tossed Lynn his cell so she could read the armada of messages that came through.
"Ooooooooh…well…I guess that makes sorta sense."
"After a day like today Lynn, not much makes sense."
"But they deserve it, especially Pop-Pop and what he's been doing."
"Doing? Doing what?"
"Helloooooooo Stinkcoln! Duh, don't you know?"
"Uhhhhhm….am I suppose to?"
"Pft, some grandkid you are."
"Hush, now tell me, what?"
"Pop-Pop has been volunteering for nearly two week with the recovery efforts of that big tornado that hit the area."
"Holy crap really?"
"Yeah dude! Him and Gran-Gran, they all help with them volunteers digging up survivors and pulling the," Lynn paused, seeing Lily look over before diving back into the bags of sweaters looking for her own, "uhm, you know…the others."
"Yeah," Lincoln nodded awkwardly in understanding. "Well, dang, that's really cool of him. But how come I didn't know?"
"Well…oh shit…I wasn't suppose to say…DANG IT LYNN!" Lynn said, slamming her head in the wall.
"What? Not tell me? Why not?"
"Well…mom and dad didn't want you to really know or think about the tornado crap you know?"
"Well…I get that, but-"
"Haven't you noticed how we never leave the news on like we used to? And when it's on there's no talk of the tornado and stuff?"
"I…haven't noticed that in the last few weeks now that I think about it."
"Mom and dad asked Lisa to pull some strings on what's played around here."
Lincoln gave a contemplative stare at Lynn for a moment.
"So…is everyone else on it too Lynn?"
"…uhm…well…yeah," Lynn awkwardly shrugged, "we wanted to try to relax you and just keep your mind off that stuff. I mean you don't wanna see the nut doctor…I mean shrink, therapist, whatever, you keep telling us you're okay."
"But I am okay," Lincoln said, a bit taken aback.
"I know you are, we just all care about you doofus. I care about you," Lynn said with an extremely tender tone before pulling him into a hug.
"We just don't want you to go through any more of that crud anymore Lincoln. I'm not too happy about what I pulled today cause I'm afraid I caused bad memories to bubble in your head. I'm really sorry," she said under her breath, pulling him in tighter.
Lincoln smiled and pulled Lynn even tighter in their hug.
"That means a lot to me Lynn. From all of you, thank you."
"You're…not mad at us, right?"
"No, not at all. It did help me unwind and focus more on the things I got here," he said with a happy toothy grin that made Lynn feel awkward, girlish tingles in her tummy.
"I love you guys, all of you. And I won't say anything. In fact, I totally forgot what you just told me," he said with a wink.
"Hehehe, whatever doofus," she said, giving him a playful punch. Lily suddenly catapulted in Lincoln's arms and mauled them both.
"We love you too Lily," Lynn said, all of them group hugging, before Lily pulled them both to the pile of bagged sweaters.
"Linky! Linky! This gotta be yours," she said with a happy lil tone. "And Numba onesies!" She happily said, throwing them each a bag. Lincoln pulled out an orange fuzzy sweater and tried it on; it fit him perfectly on his profile while still looking fuzzy and thick. Lynn's was pure red with a fuzzy one stitched front and back.
"Oh my god this is comfy!" Lynn giggled, "what about everyone else?"
"Yup, Gran-Gran did killer on this," Lincoln said, looking in the living room mirror and checking himself out in it.
"Check in your ego dorkoln," Lynn said, scooting Lincoln to the side and showing off her biceps still visible in the thick sweater. "You wish you had these guns still."
"Go in Lisa's room and check out the word "vain" Lynn," Lincoln said sarcastically.
"What for? I got em all over with my wicked build weakling," she said a little too proudly.
"And that's why you got a D in English."
"D+, I got good enough words, hell I got some of the best most tremendous words."
"Better than a Clinton."
"Wow…much better than compared to a guy who wants to date his daughter?"
"Or a woman who gives off satanic vibes?"
"…okay you got me there."
"Why I'm going into sports, politics suck and are for the biggest pieces of shit in society."
"Hmmm…well they both stink as much as your socks."
"Shut it dweeb," Lynn said punching him in the gut gently, problem being with Lincoln's abs it didn't do much, if anything it made Lynn realize he didn't go down as easily as he used to.
"Like that'll work Feta Feet, hehehe."
"Bet it I punch twice as hard you'll go down like that cheese tower."
"Linky! Lynny! Lookie!" Lily cried out wanting attention, running over to them. She had on her sweater, a comically long one, made for her if she was nineteen or twenty; it went down to her knees and the sleeves dangled off her arms a full foot. It was absolutely adorable.
"Wait, didn't Leni make that mistake once making Lily something?" Lynn asked.
"Me thinks Leni may have accidently gave wrong measurements to Gran-Gran. This smells like Leni's involvement since no one knows our clothing profiles better than Leni, and she always seems to mess up on Lily's thing's."
"Well, not always. She made that cute lil outfit for her on Halloween."
"True, and plus she's always making a project. It's a miracle Leni can keep on track with all the projects she does."
"Ya mean cause she's a scatterbrain?"
"Be nice Lynn."
"Hey, I love her, I just calls it as I see her. She was still the best roomie after Lucy cause I could use her as a benching human."
"What? Oh yeaaaah! I remember that."
"Linky? Lynny?" Lily asked sweetly.
Lily suddenly gave a mischievous little grin.
"Oh crudstones," both whispered.
"CHASE ME! AHAHAHAHHAHA!" Lily cried out gleefully, running around the house like a bat out of hell.
"Two minute turns chasing after her?" Lynn asked.
"Rock paper scissors for who goes first? God I hope it's only a ten minute spell," Lincoln sighed as she flew over their heads from the couch. They roshamboed for one turn, Lynn predictably choosing Rock and Lincoln choosing paper.
"Ah shit…looks like you lose doofus."
"Rock smashes through paper, back in a few," she nefariously laughed sticking her tongue out at him, heading to the kitchen.
"Oh COME ON! Not fair!" He whimpered, before Lily catapulted off the stair railing onto the couch, flipping into their parent's bedroom bed.
"WHOA, LILY!" Lincoln called out, chasing after him for what felt like a much longer time than two minutes. Lynn meanwhile was rummaging through the kitchen counters.
"Okay Lana, where did you hide them? I know they're hidden in here…unless you hid it in another mudpie in the lawn…shit! She probably did that."
"Your turn," Lincoln said annoyed with his hair all rustled up and sweating, throwing Lily in her arms as she suddenly climbed all over her like a monkey on a jungle gym.
"LILY, STOP, HOLD UP WHOAAAAA!"
Lincoln just shook his head, wiped the sweat off his forehead, then walked over with a smirk to grab himself a Pibb from the fridge as Lynn was being wrestled to the ground by a surprisingly quick and strong Lily, even quicker than Lynn was.
"Serves you right," he said with a sneer, taking off his sweater and neatly folding it.
"CURSE YOU LINCOLN!"
Lily crawl-mauled Lynn back into the living room into the pile of bagged sweaters. Lynn was ready to let Lily just jump on her like a trampoline before she had a quick idea.
"Lily! I got a game we can play!" She yelled out desperately.
Lily seemed to freeze in real time, looking intensively at Lynn.
"Bet I can get more sweaters to the other girl's rooms faster than you can."
"I WILL BEAT YA LYNNY HAHAHA!" Lily cried out happily before she grabbed Lola and Lana's sweaters, running full speed.
"Faster Lily, faster FASTER! I'm gaining up on ya!" Lynn called out, taking her sweater off and pretending to run after her up the stairs before ducking behind the stairs, seeing her zoom back and forth as fast as she could. Lynn coyly threw her sweater in the pile for Lily to take. She snuck into the kitchen and took Lincoln's and threw it in the pile, then ran back into the kitchen to steal and Pibb from the fridge.
"Hey! Those are mine!"
"Sharing is caring dork."
"That's a damn lie, and you told me sharing is a lie too."
"It only applies when it's you borrowing my things without my permission."
"Damn you, anyways, where's Lily? You're supposed to be watching the little speed demon."
"You're lucky I didn't sick her on you. Besides, I got her getting two birds stoned at once."
"Don't you mean killing two birds with one stone?"
"Nope," she giggled.
"Ha! I heard that…I think Luan said the same joke earlier?"
"So how is Lily not tearing up the house?"
"Easy, I challenged her to who could get the most sweaters Gran-Gran made to our sister's room the fastest."
"Ah. She'd win anyways going against you."
"Whatever. Notice something missing?"
"Look at the table dork."
He looked at the table, then finally noticing.
"You sly dog, you got my sweater for Lily to take."
"Hehe, not always about being THE fastest, about being the most able to win, and I won cause she's about to tire herself out…oh! Hold up."
Lynn ran off back to the living room. A few moments later she was back.
"Told Lily I could run faster to my room and get me a pair of socks faster than her. Hehehe, gullible little speedster."
"My feet are cold."
"Huh, well I guess it's better to keep cheese cold versus stinky and warm."
"One more crack Stincoln and I'mma stick you in a giant cheese roll and let it go down a random hill with jagged rocks and bears at the bottom," she said with a sinister grin, giving him a noogie.
They heard a loud plop on the couch.
"Perfect timing, check it dude."
Lynn pulled Lincoln to the living room. There she was, passed out asleep, as Lily, holding two pairs of socks.
"Whoa…I never thought about giving Lily things to do at super speed."
"Yeah, I know, some master planner you are doofus," Lynn said with a wink, Lincoln sticking his tongue out in defiance. Suddenly the TV turned on, playing a music channel. They just noticed Lily was passed out on the remote control, sucking her thumb and curled into a ball.
"Oooo! I like this song," Lynn said, rocking her body slightly.
"Huh. What is it?"
"Daft Punk. I listened to this song earlier when I was all sorts of fucked up on my lil trip. I could have sworn I was playing like, the BEST game I ever made in my head of all time."
"Sounds trippy, like a synth electro deal."
"I like it," Lincoln said, rocking his head to it, although it began to end.
"It's cool Linc. Lemme see something," Lynn said, pulling the remote from Lily's pool of drool surrounding it. She checked the music channel's details.
"Oh heck yeah! It's a marathon of Daft Punk!"
"Cool! So what's the next one?"
"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."
"…that literally sounds like your entire life's purpose in a nutshell, ahhaahah."
"What's so wrong about a song being entirely about how badass I am Lincoln?"
"Maybe because of how conceited you can be? Hahah."
"I don't conceal nothing! Lookie! See?" She said, twirling around and doing a few goofy dance movies. Lincoln shook his head.
"You been slacking in English?"
"D, it's passing."
"Lucy and I need to up our game."
"Oh! Here it goes! I wonder if Lily will remember. She loved this song when I played it in my room the first time. You should have seen it dude! She was like imitating the voices too! Me and Luna couldn't friggin believe it!"
"Whaaaaaat? No way! Those voices sound so robotic and synthesized, not even Lily's strange voice impression gift could-"
"Swear to god, cross my heart, hope all smallpox dies. Lily literally sang in that tone…there it is!" She said happily, slipping her socks on quickly, tossing the spare pair Lily had on the couch.
"Well, I'mma borrow those socks too, my toes are freezing. You go ahead and dance and I'mma just relax watching you while reading my comic," he said as he got comfy next to Lily slipping the socks on.
"Pft, come on wuss and dance."
"I'm good thank you."
"What, you got two left feet like Lola?"
"PFT, that is such a callback to movie night."
"Yup, two left GIGANTIC cartoon Bugs Bunny rabbit-ass lookin left feet dude."
"Whatever, my comic's gravitational pull is stronger than your insults. And Lily is comfy all cuddled with her big bro, right Lily?" Lincoln softly said, looking down, suddenly seeing Lily missing.
"What the-! Lily?"
Lincoln looked around and saw Lily suddenly doing a little robot dance next to an oblivious Lynn, mouthing the lyrics.
"Ah HECK YEAH LILY!"
"Et tu Lily?" Lincoln mumbled, going back to his comic, chuckling at the sights of Lily and Lynn now dancing…that is before Lincoln suddenly heard Lily singing the lyrics of the song in the same tone and robotic inflection Lynn gloated about.
"Work it, make it, do it, makes us….Harder! Better! Faster! Stronger!"
"Jesus Christ Lily is like a voice impression machine," Lincoln said slack-jawed in awe, feeling a bit of pride from seeing her being so happy doing these voices.
"Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger, more than ever, hour after hour, work is never over," she and Lynn sang, Lily obviously the better and more accurate singer while Lynn twirled around, doing a couple back flips. Lily was doing a little mini-robo dance.
"Hahaha, crazy girls," he thought to himself humorously, reading his comic for a moment, before he suddenly felt his mind suddenly drift out.
"Oh shiiiiiit! Another one? But it's been hours!" Lincoln thought in shock, feeling his mind do a one-eighty, his vision blacking out, before suddenly Lily popped in with the music.
Lily suddenly changed into a robot version of herself, dancing and singing the lyrics like an automaton. Lynn changed to one as well, though she was far more mobile, doing crazy robotic moon walks on a black endless background.
"Read the comic, read the comic…READ THE COMIC!" He told himself, holding the comic to his face, trying to ignore the sights, but the words on the page started saying, "WATCH! WATCH! WATCH…you should watch."
"FINE! I WILL! THIS BETTER BE THE LAST TRIP!" He yelled in his head at the words, huffing angrily and looking at his delusion. Lily was now doing the robo dance, looking more like a pixelated robot from Minecraft, while Lynn's form got more…suggestive.
"Okay! That's enough!" Lincoln squeaked, shoving the comic back into his face.
Lynn suddenly fell on the couch next to Lincoln, startling him greatly.
"Relax dude, I just need a moment," she giggled, rocking her body back in forth nudging into Lincoln's feet as she hummed the tune along with Lily's singing.
"Fuckin asshole up there, not one GOD DAMN CHANCE of peace huh!?" He mumbled from his breath looking up at the ceiling.
"Yeesh, you need to cool it down dude."
He leaned up and pulled her over to whisper in her ear, "I'm having another trip, okay? I don't know why, but I am, and it's messed up, especially with Lily of all siblings here."
"Better than mom and dad. And so am I."
"Yeah, and I'm having a killer time hahahaha!" She giggled with a wink, shooting him a raspberry before getting back up and doing a few more robo-moon walk dances with Lily.
And like that, the black background dropped like an anvil in Lincoln's vision again, with Lily and Lynn both turning into more cybernetic robots doing their various moves. He almost wished he could dance like that, if it wasn't for this being a drug cocktail induced delusion, but the only thing not a delusion was Lily singing along in the same robo-synthetic tone.
"Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger, more than ever, hour after hour, work is never over," Lily and the song kept repeating in its own weird electrical voices. Lincoln kept wondering how much Lisa had a hand in altering Lily's little vocal cords to be able to make such inhuman sounds, especially sounds that should be impossible for a four year old little girl to imitate.
"Work it harder, do it faster, more than ever, hour, work is never over. Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger, more than ever, hour after hour, work is never over."
"Oh thank merciful mackerel it's over," Lincoln sighed in relief, seeing the kooky scene melt away to reality.
"Man that was dope," Lynn said, doing a little twirl.
"Yes, well…let's relax now, I don't wanna keep seeing messed up things."
"Pft, lame-o, you're no fun," she said giving Lincoln a gentle kick, before a new beat started playing on the TV.
"HOLY SHIT IT'S MY FAVORITE ONE!" She said euphorically, fan-girling out in quick rapid stomps.
"Yeesh Lynn, just do your lil dance and let me read in peace, okay? Yikes."
"Come on Lily, let's burn this carpet up!"
They both looked at the ground and saw Lily passed out on the ground yet again, sucking her thumb curled up in the ground, her little legs fidgeting like she was running in her dreams. It made them both go awe from the sight, albeit gratefully so they could have a reprieve from her volatile firecracker young energy. Lynn picked her up and put her on the far end of the couch, covering her with a blanket.
"We probably got like three or five minutes till she's up again from that power nap."
Lynn meanwhile felt a sudden…urge. A deep visceral mammalian urge that locked her body in a very sensuous mind. She was pretty sure that she was going through the same kind of trip Lincoln was in, but her mind was getting warped by the intoxicating mix of music, hormones and hormone altering drugs still circulating in her system.
"I got it from here Lily…time to work my magic," she said, before the lyrics started.
"One more time!"
Lynn started gyrating her body in a rave-like dance, before her moves got more sensual.
Lincoln was deep in his comic. A smirk circled her face; she noticed the TV had a black background while the song played so she could coly see his face; she decided to try a few atypical moves, facing away from Lincoln and started twerking in a very unsubtle manner, pointing her ass and arching her moves directly in his eyesights. She looked in the TV screen and saw it; his eyes instantly locked onto her rolling frame.
"Hehe, I fuckin knew it," she thought, sneaking a few more subtly lewd moves in her dance, watching his eyes in a trance on her.
"Okay Lynn…this is it…do something…while he's focused on me…win him."
She turned around quickly, giving Lincoln a raspberry, Lincoln's face flushed as he tried hyperfocusing on the comic, even though his mind was still racing with Lynn's frame doing those lewd dance moves.
"Focus dude…FOCUS! GOD DAMN IT FOCUS!"
"Hey doofus! Get out here with me!" Lynn called out to him.
"C'mon Linc! Stop reading that dumb comic of yours and DANCE!"
Lynn suddenly pulled Lincoln to his legs and began dancing with him, holding him by the hands and singing with the lyrics. "One more time, we're gonna celebrate! Oh yeah, alright, don't stop the dancing! One more time, we're gonna celebrate! Oh yeah, alright, don't stop the dancing!"
"Lynn, you're sweating up a storm," Lincoln said to her.
"Cause this is fun! And cut loose with me dude, we deserve it."
Lincoln just nervously moved along with her as she kept twirling about with him and singing with the song. He couldn't deny she looked so happy and enraptured in the moment. It made him nervously sweat how much he enjoyed seeing her so happy and lost in this moment. Even after the wall of inane shenanigans she put him through, something about her in this moment…was intoxicating.
"It's just the drugs man, it's just the drugs, take it easy," he begged himself. It was like the shower all over again, but…this was different.
"One more time, we're gonna celebrate! Oh yeah, alright, don't stop the dancing!"
Lincoln was begging his mind to not let his mind keep going to "that thought." He tried and tried…but it kept bubbling in his mind.
"It's you and Luna dude. Luna, LUNA! These are just fucked up urges my horny drugged out mind are plaguing me, I'm not gonna think-"
Lynn was beautiful. She was beautiful in both the opposite ways Luna was to him, but at the same time, the same ways. His mind was befuddled, confused, he shouldn't be feeling this way.
Lynn was beautiful.
"One more time, we're gonna celebrate! Oh yeah, alright, don't stop the dancing!"
Lynn almost fell over from pulling a move, but Lincoln instinctively caught her and held her tight in his arms.
"One more time!"
And the music's beat disappeared and slowed down.
"Hehe, whoa, holy crud I'm lightheaded dude," Lynn giggled.
"Ooof, I'll say, you moved us around like a washing machine. Come on Lynn, let's lay down for a-"
"No, this…this is nice doofus. Just a minute bro, please," Lynn said with a sweet gingerly tone, hugging Lincoln tighter, rocking him back and forth, laying her head in his chest. He gulped nervously as he felt her basically lay into him.
"Cool it man, cool it. She's just…tuckered out."
"This is nice dude. Slow dance with me a bit till I can feel my ankles again," she gently said as she took deep breaths, Lincoln doing the same thing. He could feel blood shooting to everywhere inside him, especially his mid-section; that was the last thing he wanted.
"This is nice," she said gently.
"Uhm…yeah…I guess it is," he awkwardly said.
"Hehe, don't be so nervous doofus. I'm not like a pretty girl you got a crush on haha."
"Well…I mean you are pretty Lynn."
"Awwwww…you softy, hahaha…hey…uhm Lincoln?"
"Uhm, yeah Lynn?"
"You…you really think I'm pretty?"
Lincoln's heart raced so fast, Lynn could feel it, and it made hers race just as fast.
"Uhhm…I…yeah…hehe, I mean, uh…yeah, you are really pretty."
"And you're not so bad yourself. You know Lincoln…I give you tons of crap and stuff…but I bet any girl would be lucky to have you."
"I know it Linc. You're one of the sweetest, most caring guys I know. You're not a judgmental prick and you accept me for me. Plus, you're handsome, nerdy…all the cute things."
"Hehe, I…well I am a nerd I guess."
"But you're so much more than that. I still can't believe you don't have a girlfriend."
"Yeah, well…ya know, time personal affairs and family matters and such."
"L…Lincoln?" Lynn suddenly said in a way that made Lincoln's heart skip a beat. He looked down and there she was staring at him, in such a vulnerable manner; his heart skipped another beat.
She had this look, it was hard to describe but it was a look that Lincoln burned inside his mind without even knowing it; she had such a vulnerable look, a sensual one, but one that had such longing, a lusting but ever so gentle look in her eyes that he'd never seen in Lynn.
Something inside him caused him to pull her closer. She saw his eyes and they too were locked in this gaze as well. Something gravitational pulled them together closer and closer, their gazes sealed in a way he hadn't felt like in a long while…and it was Lynn causing this.
Lincoln tried to say something, but he couldn't speak, his throat was tight? It took him a moment, as the music from the song's beat started to slowly come back.
"Music's got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate. Celebrate and dance so free. One more time."
He could only moan a reply back.
"Lincoln…you're a pretty awesome guy," she whispered under her breath to him, looking away with such an exposed, soul-baring tone it really caught Lincoln off guard.
His nervous system failed him. He didn't even notice that he reached his hand out and placed it under Lynn's chin. The music was increasing its beat speed, slowly but surely, and he could suddenly feel his and her heart beats race just as fast with the song.
"Music's got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate. Celebrate and dance so free. One more time."
Their gravity increased, their bodies gradually tightening in pressure against one another; they felt themselves trembling but somehow unable to break away.
Lynn and Lincoln's minds were trapped in the music, in their growing proximity...in each other's gazes.
"Music's got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate. Celebrate and dance so free."
The pause. It lasted forever even though it was a maybe half second, maybe slightly more.
But in that moment, Lynn and Lincoln drank each other's lustful, hypnotically locked looks, memorizing every body-motion and tingle.
And the moment the beat dropped…
"One more time."
The music blasted on with such a gloriousness in the air, like it finally liberated some unstoppable force hitting an immovable object.
Of course it would be the most daredevil girl to close the gap. Lynn pressed her lips on Lincoln's with such fiery intensity it took him aback, but the surge of adrenaline he felt caused that same fiery intensity to infect him like a virus because he wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her body in, pressing his lips with that same concentration.
And all bets were off; Lincoln and Lynn were suddenly pressing and mauling one another's mouths and cheeks, deadlocked in a near equal battle of tongues.
Lynn used her slightly greater strength to push them back, rocking the arm of the couch violently for a moment before they both twirled over the side, landing with a thud, rummaging up like two snakes in mating. They shot up together to make sure Lily was still asleep.
She was…and Lynn and Lincoln kept their volcanic making out backwards to the next available space, blissfully unaware of anything else besides keeping Lily far away as possible.
They twirled onto their parent's bed in almost dark save for the window letting in a small amount of light, Lincoln steam-rolling Lynn on her tummy in an unusual display of passionate dominance, Lynn giving a drunkenly spellbound moan as Lincoln nibbled and kissed all over her ears and neck, rubbing his chin into her vibrantly loose, wavy brunette hair. The oddly sweet sugary aroma and odd mix with muskier products was like an aphrodisiac.
She then twirled around and pulled his shirt up to slobber and gently nibble along his abs and chest, Lincoln moaning out in surprise over how good this felt. She pinned him down on his back as she lathered her cute tongue all over his sides, sliding back up and down his neck, before heading down to his mid region.
She gave a questioning lustful look, as though waiting for Lincoln to give him permission in his eyes. He gulped nervously, before he started trying to pull his shorts down; Lynn finished it, and yet again was mesmerized by how big Lincoln was.
"Fuck," she weakly moaned, and that caused Lincoln to instantly leak a massive gob of pre of the side and it wobbled and throbbed on its own like an elephant trunk. He saw Lynn instantly lick the massive of maple-syrup like substance before it hit the bed sheets. She quickly lathered the sides with her tongue up, Lincoln breathing and moaning as quietly as possible, before his fingers violently dug into the mattress, almost taking out springs from this sensation he once almost felt before but this being even better.
He looked down and saw Lynn deep throating his entire size, all the way down to the balls, gobbing and slobbering with spectacular ease.
Lincoln almost passed out from the sensation, his thighs buckling from the neurological shot of this new sensation.
Lynn kept the whole length in her mouth as she did a power-move, twirling her body onto Lincoln's in a sixty-nine position, Lincoln feeling herself get him deeper in her throat, the throat slime inside her acting as the best lube in the history of everything.
She pulled off, letting him see the colossal wad of saliva, pre, throat ooze and goop cover her chin, lips and face, before going back down.
Lincoln couldn't help but just realize that now with her in this position…
He didn't even think. He pulled down her shorts and felt her raging heat from her tight region. He grabbed her waist and pulled her midsection down to his mouth, gently pressing his tongue on it before he couldn't take it anymore and forced his tongue inside her, Lynn squealing and crying out while still deep throating him. He felt a stream of creamy white liquid trickle down his cheek and face; he knew what this was.
Lynn came so violently hard it was getting all over him and the bed spread, and the taste and sensations of her crying on while she was gobbed on him made him thrust his legs around her head and pin her head down, as he felt himself erupt and cum violently down her throat, growling and shaking from how much it felt like a fiery orgasm shocked his body. Lynn locked her legs and waist into Lincoln's mouth, drink off his tongue dug inside her as she kept having a nonstop wave of orgasms lock her into place, shooting a continuous stream of her milky cream juices, Lincoln being the person he is, loving the sensation and taste.
And slowly but surely, the song settled, but they were so drunk off one another they didn't even notice that, nor any knocking at the door.
Some rustling outside the door and a tiny shadow happened to approach at the entrance.
The one thing that could freeze-shock their minds. Lynn and Lincoln looked over in utter and complete horror to see Lily standing by the entrance, holding her blankey close to her face, rubbing one eye as the other was barely open, lazily open just enough to recognize her older siblings.
Lincoln and Lynn didn't know what to do. The horror and terror they both felt and experienced in this moment was nothing like they experienced before…this level of forbidden, and Lily being anywhere close to it.
"Lynny, Lincy, stop westlin. Dere's a big kitty at da door that needs in," she mumbled in her little adorable language. For all she knew in her sleepy little state, Lynn was winning a wrestling match on top of Lincoln, and Lynn was holding a toy baseball bat.
Lily turned around and collapsed back onto the couch.
They both got off the bed, looking at one another in the most awkward manner in the history of siblings, pulling their clothing up, wiping off their respective fluids and juices on themselves and each other off…Lynn had no place so she awkwardly swallowed Lincoln's huge load still in her throat down…Lincoln nervously licking back Lynn's juices. They both saw what each did.
And then they noticed the bed…it was positively soaked in their sweat, juices…and then it hit them.
This was their parent's bed.
Like mental telepathy, they worked in unison, Lynn frantically ripping off the bed spread and anything that looked liked it got covered in their fluids, Lincoln grabbing every replacement in the crazy menagerie of items that was Rita and Lynn Sr's garment closet.
She quickly ran out full speed to the laundry room, tossed the entire giant load in the washer with an excessive amount of detergent soap, collapsed next to the machine, and proceeded to hyperventilate.
Lincoln did the same thing on the floor of the secret bathroom when he fixed the bed up, all tricked out with new sheets and comforters.
"What the FUCK did we just do," they both said, still shaking and locked into their vestigial orgasmic sensations and mortified horror of Lily seeing them.
Lynn held her heart coming back up, Lincoln doing the same thing as he washed his face with blisteringly cold sink water. They converged in the living room, trying not to look in one another's eyes, failing to do so.
The tension could cut a black hole.
"Lincy is the bestest brutha, and Lynny is bestest westler, she can kick butt anytime," Lily mumbled happily, still lazyeyed as she curled back into a ball, before turning up to look at them.
"Lynny won Lincy, now go answer da door, da big kitty keeps knocking and wants in."
They stoof their awkwardly for another moment, this time hearing the knocking at the door.
Suddenly Lynn gave an extra powerful punch to Lincoln's shoulder, causing him to buckle and flinch.
"Yup, Lily's totally right, that's what she saw. I am the best westler, aren't I Lincoln, hehehe."
"Just…just weastl…I mean wrestling," Lynn said.
It was the most nervous, unconvincing laughs ever.
"So…yeaaaaaah…drugs are fucked up, huh Lincoln," Lynn said nervously, looking towards her feet.
"Yea…Yup…Yup yup yup yup yup yup yup…drugs are a big old NOPE…nah, never again Lynn," he replied with a jumpy laugh.
"So…uhm…yeah…drugs and wresting…I guess-"
"Like…like you said, I mean…what you mean I guess…it was wrestling and…mostly the drugs."
"The drugs." Lynn said.
"The drugs." Lincoln said back.
They stood there like statues looking into each other's eyes.
They both knew they were lying.
But they both knew that it had to be a lie. Neither of them could admit it, what had just happened. Their mental communication in their eyes absolutely showed how much they were lying.
Lynn suddenly gave Lincoln a quick kiss on the cheek. Lincoln couldn't help but do it too.
And they were both rosy red.
In their hearts, the song that they just had this encounter to was circulating in their blood, screaming what they really wanted.
One more time.
Lynn headed for their parent's bathroom to throw cold water on her face as Lincoln went for the kitchen sink. They let the cold water cool their temps and wash their lingering fluids on them, before heading back into the living room.
"Okay…we good?" Lincoln asked.
And like that, Lynn went to the door to check who was knocking like a madman.
"Jesus this joker won't let up," Lynn mumbled angrily, Lincoln able to tell she was probably seething with rage from this person waking Lily up.
Lincoln went back to check on Lily, but could bring himself to adjust her blanket on her face. He felt positively filly and contaminated, as though even being in Lily's presence was a sentence straight to hell.
"Whoa! Lincoln, Lily wasn't kidding. Check this dude out!" Lynn called out.
"She said there's a big cat, it's probably Cliff Lynn."
"Doofus, cats can't knock! Get over here and look through the dang peeper!" Lynn forcefully said, reverting into a rather cliché version of her usual self, dragging him over to look through the eye hole.
Lincoln saw and was completely dumbfounded.
"What the fuck," the both said in unison, as they stared at the top of a head of a young black haired teen slightly older than Lincoln, with the left side of his face covered by that long thick wavy hair, a long cool looking scar under his right face. On his head sticking out of his hair were two cat ears, the right one twitching, and behind him, a furry long tail that swung back and forth impatiently.
Whoa! What the heck?
Yeah, it takes me friggin forever to post these things, but at least I did.
I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during these trying times. And I hope everyone likes this chapter, it's a lot meatier than the few I've posted as of late. OH!, If anyone recalls the artist Nelauk, a piece of her art is referenced in here. C'mon, I bet you all can figure out which one it is if you check em out heheh. I've always loved that lil piece of art.
Anyhow, wow, developments and such, what's going down next? And WTF is up with that ending? Lots of things will be happening, crazy AF things.
Be well everyone, until next time, keep your stick on the ice, stand tough, and don't forget to take a moment to be in nature and let it calm us all down in these fucked times. I here there's a part of a hill that smells like fresh cut spring flowers strewn across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon ;3
PS, don't forget to check out the fanfic writers I'm linked to. They got some awesome stories!
PPS, please please level a review, and also any artists who like my dumbfuck fic, I'd love to see some fanart of it :3