Anywhere But Here
A Banjo-Kazooie / Zootopia Crossover Story (feat. Kung Fu Panda)
Chapter 1: Departure

This wasn't the first time that Banjo was so nervous.

Then again, this was the first time that he was so nervous about this particular situation.

She had been standing there for a while, but Kazooie knew that Banjo had been standing in front of the mirror far longer than she had seen him do so. The breegull couldn't wrap her mind around it, but Banjo had a look in his eyes as if he was trying to talk himself into a specific mental status, while checking to see if there was anything remotely imperfect about his appearance. If she were in his shoes, or paws, perhaps she would have been nervous to some degree or another. After all, this was the first time that this ever happened to him.

That's right - Banjo, the Honey Bear, was about to go on his first date - ever.

The whole situation was at the fault of Bottles, whom had went with his family sometime ago to a place recommended by other relatives to be a great spot for a vacation. It was during their time there that a friend of the family had been introduced to them. Being so conveniently a honey bear herself, and by very nature good-hearted, Bottles was dead-set convinced that he had found a highly potential mate for the more well-known hero of Spiral Mountain. Yes, this also meant that Banjo was not even acquainted with the lady in question, and thus his first date was also going to be his first blind date.

Kazooie wasn't even sure anymore what pissed her off more - the fact that Banjo never met her or the fact he even agreed to do this. Nonetheless, her thoughts were shut down, though indirectly because everyone was so happy for Banjo. The breegull wanted to ever so badly speak her mind to her best friend that was now bundled in his own wrecking nerves. However, she would only admit to herself that her beak remained shut because of the obvious excitement that was rooted in what he was about to undergo.

"I can't believe it," Banjo finally said when the sparks of contentment began to sparkle in his eyes, "My first date... my first date!"

"Yeah, I know," Kazooie replied, holding back as much of her sarcasm as she could from going into her voice.

He didn't hear the sarcasm though, which was odd of Banjo due to his good sense of hearing. It was this same bear that was rubbing his face, almost as if there was some keen belief that his nerves had made it there too. It was this gesture that actually made Kazooie worry a little, stepping into the bathroom herself and making her best friend face her with her impressively strong wings.

"Hey!" Kazooie snapped, though her concern clearly written into her tone, "Calm down, it's just a date."

"Do you think she'll like me?"

"Banjo," the breegull replied sharply, "Who wouldn't?"

Kazooie caught on to her words, and started to flush a little bit, but held her composure for the sake of her friend, who's eyes were now looking directly into her own. Swallowing a bit of her thoughts to the back of her mind, she flashed a cocky smile at him as she straightened his back and used her wings to brush the top half of his black tuxedo of any wrinkles that might have formed.

"Besides," she said with relief to the confidence that was in it, "You look great - you really do. I haven't seen you wear a tuxedo since our last battle with the witch-butt."

"Thanks," Banjo remarked, looking away from Kazooie, which she didn't notice because she was too concerned about the wrinkles, "Do first dates always make people so nervous?"

"I don't know," Kazooie replied, "I've never been on a date."

"Do you want to find someone?"

It was with that question that Banjo looked back at Kazooie, only to find the breegull looking back at him after the question was put on the table. She stopped checking for wrinkles, her wings so conveniently on his chest, which neither really noticed. No - they were both too busy looking into each other's eyes in the deep silence. Banjo was trying to see what Kazooie was looking for while the breegull was trying to find any potential doubt in the deepest parts of the bear's light blue eyes.

"No," Kazooie finally answered, smiling a little, "Everything I ever want is right here."

As the last of her remarks rolled off her tongue, she let her wings fall off from his chest, the bear observing Kazooie intently, trying to figure out if the sadness that was in her eyes was real or something his mind was unreasonably conjuring up. Kazooie had helped him through all of this, and guessed that it might have been because she was tired. However, something seemed amiss about that conclusion, but couldn't bring himself to ask her about it because of the date he was about to go on.

"And if I did want something else, I'll go get myself," Kazooie remarked, "But you know me better than anyone else."

"Of course I do, Kazooie," Banjo said, returning the smile, catching on the corner of his eye his sister coming to the bathroom, "Oh! Tooty! Sorry, did you need to use the restroom?"

"I was waiting for you," Tooty remarked.

"Oh, yes, of course," Banjo said with a hint of realization, both he and his friend aware of what the younger bear was talking about as Kazooie got out of Banjo's way, and only after the fact did he turn to look at Kazooie, "Did you want to come?"

"To Zootopia? No thanks."

"I meant to the station with me and Bottles," Banjo corrected with a smile.

"Nah, I'll pass," Kazooie said, waving one of her wings in emphasis, "You go have fun, and we can catch up later. Besides, who's going to look after Tooty?"

"But I wanted to go too," the younger bear whined, even pouting some.

"Sorry, but this is grown-up business," Kazooie remarked, patting her head before following Banjo to the door, "Well, Banjo-business to be more specific."

Much to be expected, Tooty wasn't happy with Kazooie's response, much less Banjo's agreement with it. Then again, who wouldn't want to go to such a huge city with such a name like Zootopia? If that place really was the place where 'anyone can be anything', then surely it must be quite the sight to see. Perhaps after Banjo's return, she could convince the duo to take her there soon.

However, there was something far more important on her mind, yet said nothing about it as she watched the bear and the bird look at one another in the eyes all over again.

"Kazooie," Banjo said as he did so, the concern clear in his voice, "I-"

It was when he looked at her that something locked up in his body, and now being outside of the house, something felt completely amiss. There was also a feeling like disappointment in his chest, almost like the feeling a husband would get when he didn't get a chance to kiss his loving wife goodbye. Then again, the reality of the matter was that Banjo was single - he had always been - so there was no way he would be able to understand that feeling. Why, then, did something feel wrong now to leave and engage in time with someone he had not even met yet?

That was it, he didn't know yet, and all of this was new to him, so he pushed down his thoughts and feelings and hid his discomfort with a smile.

"...Will you and Tooty be okay?"

"I'll find something to do," Kazooie replied, "Don't worry about us, and go have fun."

He nodded, swallowing a little, yet still retaining his smile.

"Okay... Tooty, be good, okay? And please be in bed before I get home."

Tooty nodded, giving her brother a similar smile like one he gave to Kazooie, except she went over to her brother to hug him, the breegull watching from the door. It was in that hug that Banjo looked at Kazooie again, in which the bird gave him a smile, whether it be reassurance or the fact she found it warming to see such affection of siblings. The bear didn't give himself the pleasure of looking at her for a long time, for Tooty began to release her hold on him and thus bringing his attention to her.

Without too much other than a peaceful "farewell", Banjo and Bottles bid them goodbye as they started to make their merry way further and further away from the two females at the door, Tooty waving at them until they could no longer be seen, which was ironically not very long on the account of the vehicles that still lingered from their previous adventure.

No one really knew at the time, but the fact was that Banjo and Kazooie couldn't stop looking at each other, at least until they could no longer physically see each other. It wasn't until Banjo was out of sight that Tooty stopped waving and gave a curious glance over at the breegull, who's feelings were showing more on her face than she thought, and thus compelled the younger bear to say something.


"What's up?"

"...Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Kazooie, you know that I know what you're really thinking..."

"Don't push your luck, Tooty, you knew that I couldn't stop him."

"Yes you could have - what I'm wondering is why you didn't."

"Toot, you saw him - he really wants to do this."

"But you didn't."

"That's not a good excuse to stop your best friend's first date."

"But there's another reason that is."

"And what's that?"

"...The excuse that you really wanted to be in that girl's shoes."

Artist's Comments

Hello! Welcome to another completed fiction done by yours truly.

If my memory serves me correctly, this would be my third crossover. I remember doing a Rise of the Guardians and Frozen crossover and one Sonic crossover with different universes. However, given the circumstances, wouldn't it be more safe to say that this is more like a tri-over than just a regular crossover? I speak in that sense because there are three universes involved instead of the usual two: Banjo-Kazooie, Zootopia, and Kung Fu Panda. Sure, I sincerely doubt a lot of Kung Fu Panda is going to be mentioned, since I wrote out this comment when I just started the first chapter, but they are still going to be mentioned anyway.

So why these three universes? It just came to me one day while I was working, and those who write fanfictions are probably aware of how potentially good ideas occur during the worst of circumstances. Thus, it remained in the back of my mind not only until I could get it down, but get the idea down completed.

Also, now that I really think about it, Bazooie (BanjoxKazooie) and TiPo (PoxTigress) are the only other two humanoid animal pairings that I support other than WildeHopps (Nick Wilde x Judy Hopps) - though technically Kazooie isn't really humanoid in any way except by language. This particular thought made swallowing the idea bearable, and perhaps rather cool in its own manner. I didn't add Sepper (Sunil Nelva x Pepper Clark) on purpose: I didn't want to alter the characters too much, and thus ruin the authentic-ness of this fiction, if such a thing is possible. I also thought that Zootopia was the best place for all of these supported pairings to come together, so yeah.

The title comes from a song, also titled Anywhere But Here, that I heard sung by SafetySuit, which I remember being introduced to when I saw a video on YouTube using the same song - specifically (in sweet irony) with another crossover pairing: Jim Hawkins and Anastasia Tremaine. I know the name looks weird, but if you look them up, it's written like that. Heck, I wasn't even going to originally call the fiction by that song name, but I suppose what lead me to do it was the fact that I had no other ideas at the time.

Anyway, I sincerely doubt that this fiction is going to be long, and that's actually what I'm afraid of. I don't like it when my ideas are so short, like how most of my other Banjo-Kazooie fictions have been. However, regardless of their length, I do hope you enjoy your stay and reading this fiction.

But I think you're done reading my rants on the whats and whys, right? I thought so: on to the next chapter.