A green-robed witch looked down on the new first years, scanning the stairs for any recognisable faces. She saw the nervousness in the muggleborns, the masks of some of the purebloods but a few bright colours caught her eye. There were students who weren't even in their school robes but were instead... Wearing muggle clothing and were in possession of muggle objects? After all the students came up the stairs, the ones in muggle clothing were looking annoyed apart from the blonde girl, who looked familiar somehow and was the one to come up last, she began her welcoming speech, introducing the students to the possible houses that they would be sorted into and the behaviour that was expected, which as expected, was given a few smirks. She left momentarily, leaving the students waiting on the cold stone steps to the great hall doors, most of them uneasy.

"What'd ya think is goin' on back in Gotham? The Bat is gonna get suspicious if we're gone for too long. Especially because all of us are stuck in this li'l mishappen," the Penguin looked at Scarecrow who was peering at the students around him.

"What I find interesting personally is that as we are the criminally insane of Gotham, we make it dangerous, yet when such a variable is removed, it would affect the entire order and the irregular balance that our dark city has, while one of us would probably take over another, with so many of us gone, I wonder what would happen, just who would replace us," Jonathan Crane replied smoothly. He was thinking about this for quite a while, looking at the possible outcomes of their little misadventure (oh how wrong he was) and realised that since so many of them were gone, someone had to be in their place, even if it was for the time being. The penguin just scoffed but Crane continued, "I never found school fun, there wasn't much for me to learn that I did not already know. The bullying was also a regular thing," The last comment was made coldly, Oswald Cobblepot was easily relating to this as he had gone through quite a lot of bullying himself as a child.

Platinum blonde hair could be seen barging through the small crowd, and no, it wasn't Harley's. This blonde was Draco Malfoy, the boy who was raised believing that blood was everything. Harley was born into the Quinzel family and they were mysterious yet weird. It was rumoured that their family could be traced to before Merlin, and this made them extremely old and powerful. They barely emerged to the public and tended to suddenly disappear, only when the children of the family needed to go to Hogwarts would the family ever be heard from. It was also rumoured that they would live in the muggle world, a place that few witches or wizards would venture into. But history aside, this didn't change the fact that the youngest Malfoy was striding his way with Crabbe and Goyle behind him. He coughed in a seemingly polite way, interrupting the mainly one-sided conversation that Harley and Hermione were having. Harley stopped the stream of her constant babbling and stared at Draco before giving him a sweet smile.

"I believe you have something of mine Quinzel," Draco stated, his head held high and eyes gleaming.

Harley gave a fake look of confusion and searched herself before saying, "Nope, nope... I believe you still have your ego." She gave him a smile but another boy, Blaise Zabini, turned around, facing them and refraining Draco from speaking.

"So this is the troublesome group of mudbloods then. And I would have thought that they would have at least tried to fit in by wearing their uniforms," Blaise sneered, also naively believing himself much higher than the group of rogues, "I suppose their clothes do show their worth, I mean, you all look like deranged freaks who definitely don't belong here. Their clothes are just terrible which they probably found in a gutter."

Hermione gasped but began to feel enraged at the dark skinned boy at his clearly prejudiced insults. She bit back her tongue before she could say something harmful back, something that she was used to doing back in Primary school because she believed that treating others the way she wanted to be treated was the right way to go. Plus... He would get whats coming to him... Hermione stopped herself from thinking selfish yet reassuring thoughts just when Joker spoke, "Ding, ding, ding, ding! We've got a winner! You know, we are completely deranged and are freaks..." He smoothed his bright green hair back and taking out his custom made gun he threatened, "But this suit is worth more than your house, your money and your life combined. So don't try to insult me, little boy."

The muggleborns stared at them, turning to look because of the familiar sound of a loaded gun (A/N: movies people... Plus, guns are banned in England). They were terrified and their hearts were beating as fast as a race car would speed across the tracks. Another sound rang out through the air. The sound of a flipping coin from Two-Face's hand caused Joker to lower his gun and everyone to look at him. "Now I know you're a clown J, and I never thought that you could be funny... But my suit has much more worth than any of yours."

"How dare you insult my humour? You know, I wouldn't mind making that face of yours symmetrical," Joker laughed as he pulled out a knife pointing it at Two-Face.

"You don't scare me, clown. No one here thinks that you're funny. You can't even make Batman laugh. None of us can but I heard that your girlfriend pulled it off," Harvey smirked as Joker began to seethe, "and it was all because of how blind and stupid she is."

"HEY! I am not stupid! Nor am I blind! I have a PhD! If anything Harv' you're blinder than anyone here because ya have ta rely on a coin ta make your decisions for ya!" Harley spat back.

"Wait you made Batman laugh? The hell? I thought Batman was all brood and no laughter," Deadshot scratched his head, looking at Harley.

Poison Ivy replied for her with a groan, "She did, but everyone who heard in Arkham promised to not say anything." She emphasised her last few words while glaring at Two-Face, "Because we all knew that someone would get mad."

"Harley... If what they are saying is true... You'll be lucky if your body is found, undisfigured, at the bottom of the river. So tell me, have you made Batman laugh or not?" Joker, still a knife in hand cornered Harley by one of the railings.

Harley felt an unfamiliar boost of confidence, a want to stand up to her boyfriend. "So what if it is? He wasn't even being nice about it. The brooding bastard was being mean too."

Joker grabbed her chin, "So it is true then? When did this bullshit happen?" He looked into her eyes, waiting for the truth. But all he saw was defiance as Harley ripped her chin out of his gloved hand.

"Well, this 'bullshit' as you like to call it was when you pushed me out of a seven-storey high building, through a window using a swordfish. A damn swordfish! I absolutely hate fish!" Harley glared straight back. But Joker gave her a confused look.

"I said sorry, didn't I? I thought you forgave me after that. Plus, that was like... several months ago. You're still mad at me? Wait... Why did he laugh?" His eyes narrowed.

Edward Nigma... Being the intellectual idiot he was interrupted, twirling his cane about, "Well... I think this is the time for a riddle? I have an oldie but a goodie... Riddle me thi-" He was cut off by a punch to the face from Two-Face.

"No one cares about any of your damn riddles," Two-Face smirked but rubbed his head after it was hit by a steel blue boomerang. Captain Boomerang whistled lowly and smiled at the man with a half-damaged face.

"Whoops! You know, we really should be setting an example for these little kiddies. Punching is considered bad, you got that Dent?" He swigged open a can of beer before it was taken away from him by a large reptilian hand, "KC! Give me back my beer! That's my last one! I finished the rest back at the party!"

Killer Croc ignored the man who as reaching up for his beer and jugged it down before throwing the can down the stairs. "Now who's the hypocrite Boomerang?" Asked Two-Face, this time arms crossed.

Catwoman turned to Ivy, "Does this always happen? I'm rarely in Arkham so I wouldn't know," Her reply was grim.

"I suppose so... Only there's more violence but seems they're trying to keep it PG as of now. Hey! Killer Croc! Pick that can up right now! I better see you recycle it!" Ivy stormed off to lecture KC, who looked as if he just wanted to go on vacation to the Bahamas or something.

Catwoman mentally deadpanned herself. This is why you don't hang round these people often if at all, she thought. Her head quickly turned round at the sound of a loud slap and a shout, "You psychopathic no good bastard!" The shout came from Harley whose cheek had a quickly reddening hand on it. Ivy turned around too, no longer focused at the massive crocodilian man but at the clown couple.

"Joker! I swear! You better get away from her right now or I'll shred you to pieces and ship whatever's left of you back over to Gotham and feed them to my plants!" Ivy stalked to him and punched him in the face but was quickly sent back by the force of Joker's kick to the gut. Captain Boomerang saw this as his chance as revenge against Killer Croc and threw a weak explosive boomerang at him while Riddler threw several explosive jigsaw puzzle pieces in Two-Face's direction. Riddler dropped one of his jigsaw pieces and instead of picking it up and throwing it at Two-Face, he picked up Neville's toad, Trevor, instead and he tripped onto Two-Face in surprise who also panicked who then landed on a retreating Mad Hatter who then lost his hat as it spiralled down to the bottom floor. Enraged he retaliated, and he pulled out a rather sharp quill. Deadshot just looked a tad bit lost, slightly new to the madness of his fellow villains. Scarecrow was writing notes in his portable notepad, he was writing about the reactions of Two-Face and Riddler to the toad, excited by the fear that they possessed for such a small creature. Harley deadpanned but just as she was going to separate her boyfriend and best friend up using her baseball bat, she spaced out before covering her ears in an attempt to block out the loud voices. Catwoman went to stand by Penguin and Deadshot, the only ones not fighting or having much involvement in the... arguement.

"So... What are we going to do about this?" She asked, looking at the mess of colours that was slowly but surely destroying the staircase. The crowd of students had given them quite a bit of space (which was nearly impossible so they just ran up to avoid the staircase). It almost seemed as if the teachers here were talking longer than needed for their own entertainment.

Penguin looked at his pocket-watch and began to adjust it, "Whenever anything like this happens, I just stand back and relax. There's no need for me to do anything," He took a few bullets from his back pocket and loaded his umbrella gun with it. Just in case.

Catwoman sighed, she just wished that she never came to that blasted party and instead went on that jewellery heist that she had planned a week beforehand. But she had to be that loyal friend and be there for Harley's birthday. She started to think about Batman, wondering what he must be doing. Probably already searching around Gotham in a calm manner but secretly desperately, trying to find the whole lot of them. She noticed the frizzy haired girl that they talked to earlier come up to them.

"So are you really from Gotham or are you just kids in costumes? Really... convincing costumes?" Hermione asked innocently, never really sure to the answer herself.

"Just look around kid, they can't get more real can they? I mean if the custom weapons and personalities and fighting doesn't convince you, I don't know what will," Catwoman replied honestly. She didn't really want to bother with lying, the other rogues were doing her head in. Another kid came up to her, he was followed by a ginger kid who was then followed by the blonde prat and his minions. The other students were crowding around her, many of them whispering amongst themselves. The purebloods, having no idea who these people are, were looking at them in disgust, ruffians would be the word they would use to describe them.

"Are you really from Gotham?"

"You're Catwoman!"

"You can't dress up as criminals!"

"We're going to die aren't we! Supervillains are here!"

"How were you accepted into this school?"

These were just few of the questions that she was asked but she just massaged her temples, already feeling a migraine trying to take over. A dent could be seen in the ceiling as Deadshot fired his wrist gun in the air, "Okay! That's enough! Someone would like to get your attention," He nodded is head to the woman at the top of the staircase, her face slightly red and eyes clearly showing annoyance.

"Thank you child, now after the sorting feast I would like the ones who did not see fit as to wear their uniform to come to the headmaster's office. Am I clear?" The fighting had stopped and the staircase was quickly fixed. Harley still remembered Professor Mcgonagall, and how stern she could be. She looked fearful of the woman and quickly said sorry which was replied to with a nod. And I thought the Queen of Gotham never said sorry, was the thought that lingered for a moment in many of the rogues' heads. The children were briskly told to follow her through the large and intricate Great Hall doors and were met with four grand colours mixed in with black, red, green, yellow and blue. All of the children were amazed by the realistic night sky ceiling of the Hall and of the flickering candles that levitated throughout the room. Just as I remember it, Harley thought as she looked round to find the familiar hat that had sorted her all of those years ago. The hat began to sing causing most of the hall to cringe while the younger students looked upon the hat in wonder. Shortly after the hat sung and bowed to the four tables, there were already whispers between the students.

"I'm not putting on that old hat! Do you know how long it took me to do my hair Harley?" Poison Ivy harshly whispered, while Joker and Two-Face rolled their eyes.

Harley glared at the eco-terrorist, "Red, it takes you a quarter of the time that it takes for me to do my hair! Plus, you never even have to try when it comes to your hair!" She didn't get why she was complaining, she basically has the best hair in all of Gotham. Plant pheromones do seem to do something to people, "And no... you are not seducing anyone with your pheromones! Ya hear me Red!"

Ivy simply raised an eyebrow but then turned back to the stool, she didn't notice the many children who were already being sorted. She observed the room around her, there was magic all around her. She was a woman of science though, and she wasn't really fond of all of this trippy stuff. It occurred to her that Harley went to school here, and that would mean that she has magic. The most possibly ordinary person in their little group, has magic. Despite her craziness, she would be the most normal person than the rest of them. She is the only person who ever got close to reforming, leaving Arkham declared 'sane' many times.

"There's not a witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin," A dirty-nosed red-headed boy whispered to the scarred boy next to him. The raven-haired boy just turned to look at him.

"Hey now, that's not true!" A feminine harsh whisper said to them, the boys gave confused looks, particularly the Weasley, "Slytherin is a house of ambition and cunning, not evil. Plus, it brings out the qualities that are useful in life. Especially if there's a dark knight chasing you."

Harry gave incredulous but quiet gasp while Ron scoffed, set in his ways about the Slytherin house, "You can't actually be Harley Quinn can you?" Harry received a quick smile and wink from said girl just as his name was called. He nervously walked up to the school thinking, what if the hat doesn't sort me into a house? What if they just send me home? I don't want to go home! His thoughts stopped as the hat was suddenly placed onto his untameable nest of hair. Whispers went round again. This time they were focused on Harry Potter. Mad Hatter noticed Harley's eyes narrow at the 'hero', probably something to do with him, he thought, him being their resident Dark Lord. His attention went back to the sorting as the boy was sorted into Gryffindor, my half-brother was never extremely fond of that house, something to do with pranks.

The hero sat at the Gryffindor table, a happy look spread across his face. After each intended student got sorted, it left the de-aged bad guys in a tough situation. Their names weren't on the long list that Mcgonagall had. The old professor scrolled up the piece of parchment and saw the unamused costumed children. She looked to Dumbledore for help, this was something that had never happened before. The headmaster's silver beard, the only thing that stood out from the bright candles and rich house colours, glistened as Dumbledore began to think. Now... This certainly is something new... They certainly are a colourful bunch aren't they?


SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I have not updated in nearly 2 months and for that I apologise... So I wrote an extra long chapter for you guys and I hope it can make up for my absence... possibly... maybe not..

Anyway I was going to put their sortings somewhere in there but then thought on it and it could kinda mess up if everyone knew the villains' names (especially Joker's as even his name isn't completely official and it would be used for leverage by the other villains and stuff) so I tweaked the plot a little bit and ended up with this. And yes, the staircase was probably a tad bit too long but this A/N is too but it was also written without planning. I am still proud of this chapter that is quite long for me personally so I hope you enjoyed reading. They are still being sorted just not in the traditional 'name on parchment' way and ish. They were going to be sorted but I decided otherwise as I felt it belong in a whole other chapter... You also get to see more insight from the other characters and more HP characters, YAY!... That's enough from me and if you've reached this point... Well thanks I suppose. :)

-AnimalLoverAlly out.