70A/N: Just a filler chapter, really. A few odd conversations here and there, just to get us to the trolls. Warning: it is a wee bit rushed. Next chapter will be better, promise! I'll fix any typos later.
Many thanks to...
Outofthisworldgal
Jwhale
IfYouRememberMe
Guest186
The better twin
Me And Not You 1001
Ceci
Piper and Snippy
"What I wouldn't give for some sweet tea right now.', I said wistfully as I stared at the land ahead.
"Tea sounds lovely.', Bilbo sighed from atop Myrtle. "A nice, warm cup of tea."
"You drink your tea warm?"
"You do not?"
"No. I drink it with ice... and lots of sugar.', I added as an afterthought.
"I've never heard of anyone who puts ice in their tea. Does it taste good?"
"It grows on you.', I grinned. "Sweet tea is almost a staple where I live. Everyone I know almost always has a gallon of tea in their fridge at all times."
"Fridge?"
"It's like a box that keeps things cold."
"Oh."
"If I ever get the chance, Bilbo, I'll make you some of the things I eat at home to try."
"Really?" He seemed to perk up a bit at the mention of food.
"It'll be a way for me to make up for what happened last night.', I nodded, watching as he gently prodded at the purple and blue bruise on his forehead. "Speaking of food, do you have peanuts in the Shire?"
"Peanuts?"
"Um... they grow in pods underneath the ground?"
"Ah..." Bilbo crinkled his nose as he tried to think of a plant that met that description. "Are you speaking of groundnuts?"
"I think that's another name for them, so... yes."
"Hm. I believe we do, but they are used for animal feed. Other than that there is really no use for them."
Well that shut me up real quick. Peanuts had hundreds of uses and all they were used for here was animal feed?! What was wrong with those curly headed hobbits?
"Why do you wish to know?"
"My grandma taught me how to make a mean batch of peanut butter cookies. Though I doubt that would be possible here."
"Well if it is possible, I would be honored to try them.', he beamed.
We grinned at one another for a few moments before Gloin, who I was supposed to be riding beside for today, called for me to fall back. I rolled my eyes before following his instructions, glad that Thorin was too far ahead to scold me for dumping the ginger haired dwarf in favor of riding with Bilbo.
"Collie!', Thorin shouted from ahead, raising a hand to signal the group to a stop. "You will ride with me."
I peered ahead and decided that his command wasn't worth arguing over. The river we would have to ford was swollen far above what looked to be the normal water level from all of the rain that had fallen over the past few days. I carefully climbed off of Itchy and walked to the front of the group where Thorin was impatiently waiting to give me a leg up onto his own mount.
"Stay still.', he warned as he cautiously began to lead Minty through the swift moving waters. I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to whimper as the pony almost lost her footing on the slippery rocks that made up the river bed.
I did not travel across to a different world to drown in some river. If I die I swear my ghost will haunt Gandalf for bringing me here. Even if I am the one who opened the dang door.
"We are almost there, Collie. You can open your eyes."
A panicked shout from behind us rang out as Minty finally reached the opposite shore.
"Nope, I'll just keep them closed.', I squeaked, shrinking further into myself. He didn't answer. Instead, he hurriedly ordered me to stay put as he leapt off of the brown pony.
"I need to assist Fili and Kili.', he explained quietly. "One of the ponies has been swept downstream."
Fili and Kili reappeared with our uncle not long after that, the three of them looking wet and miserable as they led a newly unburdened pony back to the company.
"We lost the majority of our provisions to the current.', Thorin reported to the worried looking group. "We will need to find a way to restock them soon, or we will have to scavenge a bit."
Solemn nods and gloomy whispers met his statement as we slowly progressed away from the river.
"We will make camp here for tonight.', Thorin ordered. "Fili, Kili, watch the ponies— and be sure to stay with them! Oin, Gloin, get a fire going. Bombur, try to make do with what provisions we have left. It is not much, but there should be enough for one more meal."
He paused, studying me.
"Stay close.', he finally muttered. "We do not need a repeat of last night's incident."
I stilled the urge to roll my eyes. While, yes, he had brought the 'incident' up, he had also placed me with the dwarves who rode at the end of our company, therefore placing me far away from Fili and Kili's teasing grins and glib remarks, both of which would have been ten-times worse with what I had done to poor Bilbo last night.
I heard Gandalf argue with my uncle, though what it was about I didn't stick around to find out.
With a small groan, I buried my head in my knees and sighed. What on earth was I doing here? I mean, as far as I was concerned there had never been a teenage girl in the hobbit!
I stayed curled into a ball for goodness knows how long until the sound of Bilbo's protests made me lift my head.
"W-where are you going? Gandalf?!"
"To seek the company of the only one who has any sense around here."
"And who is that?"
"Myself, Master Baggins!"
"What?!', I squeaked, scrambling to my feet. "You're going to leave me by myself with a bunch of dwarves?!"
"I have had enough of dwarves!', the wizard growled as he strolled angrily out of the camp.
"Come on Bombur, we're hungry!', Thorin called through gritted teeth, sending me an unimpressed look. But then again, what else is new?
"Will he come back?', Bilbo asked nervously. It seemed that the hobbit didn't like the idea of being with the dwarves without Gandalf anymore than I did.
"He better.', I harrumphed, plopping back onto the ground.
"Not bad, Bombur. I've had stews that were worse.', Gloin said, complimenting the chef.
"Aye, Dori could have cooked it!', Nori sang out.
"Ha ha ha.', Dori grumbled good-naturedly. "You are hilarious."
"And you know it.', Nori winked.
I pulled my phone out and snapped a quick picture of Ori, who was dubiously poking at his stew like it was the school cafeteria's mystery meat. He blinked dazedly at me as the flash went off in his face.
"Aw!', I smirked. "Poor baby doesn't want to eat his veggies!"
"Baby?', he snorted, glaring at me in what I hoped was a playful manner. "I am a few good decades older than you, thank you very much!"
All of the dwarves had been extremely curious about my cellphone, but they had quickly gotten used to me snapping pictures at extremely odd moments. They had been fascinated when I had explained how it could take 'portraits' and play music, but I tried not to do the latter very often— I wanted to save my battery for as long as I could.
I was almost at the bottom of my bowl when Kili and Fili burst through the underbrush that surrounded the camp, both of them panting heavily.
"Bilbo... Itchy... Minty... trolls!', Kili gasped out, resting his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch his breath.
"WHAT!', the dwarves cried as they all leapt to their feet.
"Three trolls.', Fili was able to explain far more clearly than his brother. "Not half a mile away. They have several of the ponies: Bilbo went to see if he could steal them back."
"Ready your weapons!', Thorin shouted, gathering his own axe into his hands. "We must be nearby if our burglar needs aid."
"Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?', I huffed to the air. "I don't think these trolls are going to be all short, hairy, and yellow like the grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge in Dora the Explorer."
"Trolls are dangerous.', Thorin answered. Yikes. I hadn't been aware that he had been listening. "Which is why you will be staying here. Pack up what you can of the camp; we leave as soon as we return."
I will admit that I agreed with Thorin hurriedly on the matter. Why on earth would I want to face smelly trolls?
"Uncle?', I called softly as he made to leave the small clearing we had set camp up in.
"Yes, Collie?"
"You will come back, right?"
His steely blue eyes softened for a moment as he stared at me, but his silence on the matter made me realize that he couldn't make any promises.
"Be careful.', I finally said. The dwarves were new to me, but they were still the only people I really knew here, other than Gandalf and Bilbo.
"I will.', he replied gruffly.
"Good.', I breathed. "Because I really don't think—"
And then I was talking to the air again. Wonderful.
"Uncle!', Kili hissed. "Where is Collie?"
"She is back at the camp.', Thorin replied in a hushed tone. "Praise Mahal."
The exiled king wriggled uncomfortably in the rancid sack he had been shoved into. Many of the dwarves had been unceremoniously dumped into similar sacks, while others were stripped down to their underclothes and tied to a spit that sat above a roaring fire.
They were prisoners. But even worse, they were also a meal, if the trolls had their way of things.
"Oi! That's hot!', Bofur howled, blowing furiously on his mustache as it began to singe. He was one of the dwarves who was unfortunate enough to be roasting over the flames.
"It's a fire!', Dwalin snapped. "It's going to be hot!"
"Yes, I know! Stop stating the obvious and try to think of a way to get us out of this!"
"Well we can't reason with them. They're half-wits!"
"Half-wits? What does that make us?"
"Supper if we don't think of something fast!', Nori muttered in a clipped tone.
"Do you smell that?', the troll named Bert mumbled, sniffing the air.
"Smell what?', William, another troll, whined.
"Womenflesh."
Thorin froze as he listened to the dull creatures' conversation. Women folk were a troll's favorite, and he inwardly cringed at what that implied should they catch Collie. He would never admit it, but the girl was growing on him. Like a fungus, maybe, but still.
"All I smell is stinky nags and hairy dwarves.', the last of the ugly monsters, Tom, grumbled.
"Well I smell it!', William announced. "An' I'm going to see if I can catch it! She has to be close."
The rest of the dwarves seemed to clam up as they also caught wind of the conversation that was going on between the trolls.
"Uncle!', Fili whispered in a hoarse voice. "Please tell me they're not going to—" He choked on the last part of his inquiry, unable to get the words past the lump that rose in his throat.
"We cannot just—', Kili began.
"We can do nothing!', Thorin snarled. "We are as helpless as a mouse in a trap. Even more so, in fact."
Several minutes ticked by as William disappeared, an agony for Thorin's company and an anticipation for the trolls.
The dwarves heard Collie long before she appeared.
"Oh good lord. Not this. I AM GONNA KILL THAT DOGGONE WIZARD!"