Hey guys thank you so much for all your supports for Slowly burning i hope to update soon! I hope you enjoy!
It's finally here. The first day for the new initiates into Dauntless. It's a huge day for not only me, but Tobias as well. This is the first year we'll be training together. It's been 3 years since I graduated, and we are now living together.
I look over at his sleeping body. He's always been so cute when he sleeps; his hair over his eyes, his bare shoulder just barely peeking out over the covers, and more often than not, an arm placed on my waist to keep me safe.
I check my watch; it's currently 7:00 AM. I decide I'll get up and make some coffee, seeing as the initiates don't arrive until 1:00 PM. We have a free morning to ourselves, which is rare due to our busy schedules.
About a half hour later, I'm sitting on the couch with my vanilla latte and watching the morning news when I hear a shuffling of footsteps behind me. I smile to myself, turning to be greeted by a sweet kiss on the lips. He lets out a small burp followed by a polite 'excuse me' before trudging into the kitchen to get some coffee.
A couple hours later there we were, hands clasped behind our backs like soldiers, feet shoulder-width apart, patiently waiting for Eric to bring the initiates back.
I look at Tobias for a second, and it brings back all the memories of three years ago, when I was just a weak 16 year old from Abnegation. Tobias looks stronger now than he did before, and has changed his usual stubble to a clean shave. He looks older now.
He stays looking straight ahead, but moves his left arm to the size to squeeze my tricep 3 times- "I love you." I look at him, and he knows I mean it back.
Our little moment is interrupted by a shrill call from my phone- Eric is calling.
After a brief talk with him, I learn that the initiates are 5 minutes away and we should begin setting up the knives for practice later in the day.
We are placing the knives in rows silently, when Tobias has an interesting question. "Are we going to hide our relationship, or be public with it?" As soon as he asks, I know exactly what he means; are we going to tell the initiates?
I struggle for a second as I try to come up with an answer, "What do you think we should do?"
"I think we should keep it a secret- keep it professional. If they find out, we can tell them, but other than that, I'd say no." He pauses for a second and smiles, "That means no more kissing me every time you make a good shot." He winks and I stick my tongue out at him- we have an interesting relationship.
I'm setting up the last set of knives when I hear voices behind me and a sharp 'Shut up!' before the doors open. I turn around, and Tobias is already at the doors, greeting the initiates with respect and a hard face.
A minute later I am beside him, and we are saying our goodbyes to Eric as he leaves us with the transfer initiates- he has the Dauntless-borns.
We have 5 Erudite and 6 Candor. No Amity or Abnegation this year.
Immediately they start talking amongst one another, and Tobias speaks over the noise. "Welcome to Dauntless. My name is Four and this," he gestures to me, "is Six. We are your instructors for initiation. Survive initiation, and maybe you'll see us away from training. You are-"
He is interrupted by a small voice, which I later identify as a blond Erudite boy. "What do you mean 'survive'? Why would we not survive? I get not getting through initiation, but it's not like any of us are going to die!"
Tobias stands with a faint smirk on his face, "Oh, you'll see what I mean. As I was saying, not everyone here is guaranteed a place in Dauntless. You must be strong, brave, and be able to face your fears. Get through initiation and be proud. If you do not, however, make it through, you will live with the Factionless. This will be the hardest training of your lives, no matter what you've done before and you should take it seriously." The initiates are silent, almost as if they're in shock.
I interrupt the preceding silence telling them it is time to give them the tour.
"Alright so this is the training room. This is where you will face the hardest challenges of your life, and your rank will be posted. The fighting ring is in the far right corner, there are targets against the walls to your right and left, and punching bags in the back left corner. Use your assets wisely." The 16-year olds look terrified at the statement and I smile as I remember that that's how I was during my initiation.
We walk to the chasm, where Al betrayed me and then took his life because of me. "This is the chasm. It defines the fine lane between bravery and idiocy. It-"
"Yes, everything Six says is true, but keep in mind that severe punishment could be enforced here if you are in anyway disrespectful to me, Four or Six." Eric implies that we still hang people from the chasm, as happened to Christina.
Four speaks up, "Eric, you know we don't do that anymore. Not after what happened with Christina and Al 3 years ago."
Eric scoffs and walks closer to Tobias, pressing a finger to his chest, "Oh yeah? Watch me." He turns around and pulls the smallest initiate from the back, picking him up and hanging him from the chasm.
"Eric, stop! That boy could fall!" I lift the Erudite boy from the chasm, feeling Tobias' hands on my waist, pulling me up. The boy looks at me for a few seconds before whispering a quiet 'thank you' and going back to the group.
I stop him, placing my hand on his shoulder, "What's your name?"
I extend my hand to him, "Nice to meet you Sam, I'm Six."
Sam smiles at me, and Tobias coughs behind me, not-so-subtly reminding me of the waiting crowd behind us.
"Okay, so now we will going to show you the rest of the compound and then your dormitories."
Eventually we reach the dormitories after showing them the pit, the dining hall, and the apartments, and walk them inside. "This is where you will sleep during initiation. You may notice that there are not gendered sides; everyone sleeps in the same room whether you like it or not. The bathrooms are located to the far left corner and are separated by gender."
I interrupt Tobias, "You'll get over the non-privacy of the dorms pretty fast. Just be sure to think about who you hang out with. Are there any final questions?" I am met with blank stares.
"If any of you ever need anything is there is something that needs to be dealt with, please find us and we can help you solve it. My apartment number is 236 and I am there most of the time."
We get a little ways away from the training room when suddenly Tobias pushes me against the wall and kisses me. I pull away with a dumb smile on my face after a few seconds, "What was that?"
He looks me straight in the eyes. I stare at him, and admire his beautiful eyes; so blue I could drown in them. "I've been wanting to do that all day."
I look into his eyes and kiss him one more time, arms around his neck, when we are interrupted by a cough. I turn to the side, shocked, only to see Christina standing with Uriah's arm around her waist. "Come on, I thought you said you were gonna keep your relationship a secret, but you're making out in the hallway! Anyone could've seen!" She smiles as she says this, "I'm just teasing, you guys can kiss whenever you want."
I laugh and kiss Tobias on the cheek once more before going over and giving Christina a hug.
"I haven't seen you in forever! You were gone with Uriah for so long; I missed you so much!"
She pulls away from me and puts her hands on my shoulders, quickly looking me up and down, "Damn, Tris, you look better than ever! You're practically glowing!" She makes a quizzical face for a second before looking at my- flat- stomach, "You're not-"
I shake my head with a laugh, "No, I'm not; I don't want a kid yet." The noise of Uriah and Tobias' voices has ceased, only to be replaced by a pair of blue eyes staring my way. "Maybe after this class of initiates graduate or maybe when I get married... I haven't thought about it much yet..."
She smiles at me, practically squeaking in joy.
But that was a lie. I have thought about having kids with Tobias before, even had late night conversations about what we see in our future in terms of a family.
I want kids, but Tobias is tentative because of his father. He doesn't want to turn into him. I try to assure him that that would never happen, that he's a completely different person that his father; that he's the man I fell in love with would never do that. I tell him I'm fine with having kids whenever he wants to, even if we never do. I tell him that all I need is him.
But that's a lie as well. I really want kids. I want to have a family with him; I want the late nights with a baby and the toddlers and children waking us up at ungodly hours. I want it all.
But he doesn't.
He claims he wants a family, yet shys away from the topic and only talks about it because I pester him about it.
That's why I can't tell him.
I look back at Chris, and we exchange silent expressions, and then she knows.
She squeals and jumps up and down, hugging me tightly, but whispering quietly in my ear so the guys can't hear, "I am too."
I pull away from her and look at her before squealing and hugging her. We must look like complete fools in front of Uriah and Tobias, but at this moment it doesn't matter. All that matters is our families, each other, and our kids.