Sometimes, I tell myself I'm okay.

"You made a vow" John yelled tears streaming down his face as he whole on to Mary lifeless body.

Sherlock had his own tears in his eyes. He hardly cried but his friend..who close friend was dead. And Worse of all his first friend, basically his family. He was okay with dying if was protect people he loved.

He didn't think Mary would jump in front of him but she did.

I repeat it like a mantra.

"Anyone but you" Molly voice broke. Her heart broke so she went back inside holding Rosie close before bursting into tears. Sob broke out and she was glad she was alone.

I'm okay.

Sherlock was broken. He was broken way worse than he was before. He didn't care and welcome it. He force himself to work. He hardly ate food, he only worked and there was no stopping him.. Sherlock was almost gone

I'm okay.

"Sherlock open the door" Molly's voice from the other side of the door. Sherlock closed his eyes he was on the couch. He couched because of the smoke. He put his choice of drug away and pulled blanket over him.

He broke promise he made. But what was the point he was alone

I'm okay.

"Sherlock if you don't open this door right now I will break it open" Molly bound on the door. She wasn't going to do this of course. Mrs. Hudson gave her key and for that she was thankful. She knock on the door again louder.

"Molly he said voice hoarse and groaned. He got up made his way to the door.

I'm okay.

He open the door to let Mary in. Who took his appearance in shock. She had tears in his eyes. He knew he looked like hell. He just got over a high. He didn't shave or well do anything but work.

Because if I stop, even for one moment,

"Sherlock" she whispered before coming in side. She pulled him into a hug and he hugged her back.

"Molly" he whispered trying to tell her that he was fine. He didn't mind crying.

"Don't you dare say you okay " she whispered but her voice seem louder.

He swallowed and looked down not really wanting to say something.

I will drown for all the reasons I'm not.

"You are not okay.. i know you are not okay.." she whispered pulled him to the couch picking up something

"You can't do this to yourself...you can't you need to stop this sherlock. For yourself, for Mary, for me...for your god daughter...Rosie Needs you" she said before looking at him.

Sherlock rubbed his eyes and swallowed.

'She doesn't.."He started to say but was cut off as Mrs Hudson entered the room with baby Rosie in her arms.

Rosie saw sherlock and her face lit up. She giggled and clapped her hands.

"Rosie" he whispered and tears fell from his eyes.

"I'm not okay molly i don't know what to do" he broke down crying before hugging each other.