(Jedi Alex Colbent peers his head from the side of a wall and carefully walks out from behind it)
So… umm….. This makes this my SECOND time I've up and disappeared from FF… and this time I didn't even bother to give anyone a heads up….. You guys aren't too mad at me, right?
(Several different weapons of many different varieties, including chainsaws, flamethrowers, snipers, machetes, machine guns, swords, bows and arrows, lightsabers, blasters, and Mjolnir are pointed at him)
Ok, LOOK! The past year I've been absent HAS NOT been a pleasant one for me. I've had to deal with quitting the one job I've had my entire life since High School after almost six years, adjust to a new job which is starting to prove EVEN MORE difficult than my last one, and now I'm coming to grips with actually having to live in a country where an unqualified racist, misogynistic and bigoted orange humanoid hemorrhoid can become President despite all forms of logic and decency screaming for it to not happen. And all while still dealing with the usual crap from anxieties and joys that come with my disposition. If you people can't understand that I needed some time to be ready to come back and write during ALL OF THAT, then maybe I shouldn't have come back to begin with!
(Several seconds pass before all of the aforementioned weapons begin to lower.)
Ok…. Now then… the next chapter for Out of the Blue, which has been in the works since last year, just needs a few finishing touches before it's ready. Consider it my late Christmas gift to you all and an apology for not being around. But I ALSO wanted to share with you guys another random but inventive one-shot idea before it comes around. This one is centered around my latest greatest obsession, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Thrown into THAT is arguably one of my favorite characters from Dragon Ball Z and what results is what I believe would happen if he found himself fighting side-by-side with Earth's Mightiest Heroes during the Battle of New York. With that said, please enjoy. Also, no disclaimer this time around, because really, do I even NEED to say that I own NONE of these characters?
Nick Fury stormed out of the central control room of the Helicarrier as his hand flew to the earpiece that housed a communications device.
"Stark! You have a missile headed straight for the city!" He barked
"Yeah, great timing there, Nick, but I've barely got enough power left to hold this conversation."
The S.H.I.E.L.D. director's remaining eye widened "You CAN'T be serious, Stark. If we don't stop that thing, there's going to be a giant crater left where Manhattan is right now!"
"Alright, I get it! Thor doesn't have a communicator on him, but if we can reach him someho-"
"No need! I got this!" A familiar nasally voice sounded off.
Off in the distance where the jet carrying said impending nuclear missile fired its payload, Fury could just make out the shape of something flying towards the impending threat whilst leaving a bright illuminating trail.
Of all the things Krillin had faced in his far from normal life, this still didn't extend beyond plain suicidal. But when you were orphaned and raised by monks, learned how to harness a natural source of energy that enabled flight and the ability to shoot beams of said energy from your hands, and fought against demons, aliens and killer robotic monstrosities all before dinner, the average definition of the word "normal" doesn't really apply to you anymore. Now being forced to add "fell through a rip in spacetime to an alternate version of Earth that was being invaded by a character out of Norse mythology with an army from space" to that list, lifting a nuclear warhead out of the air seemed the most normal by comparison to him.
Filing that thought away for another time, the bald monk flew right from under the missile and gently guided it under his hand's control.
Carefully holding the multiton metal cylinder with one hand, the other tapped the earpiece to his left.
"Ok, got the missile. Any requests on where it goes?" He shouts over the roaring wind of both the nuke and his own flight speed.
"Chucking it into space will do. So long as it's away from any populated areas." Fury's voice responded.
While listening, Krillin's eyes peered up at the gaping portal above Tony Stark's secondary home which was used to power said portal. The same one that spilled out more and more Chitauri soldiers to rain down death the destruction upon the city.
"Think I have something that'll work even better." He said with a determined expression.
Holding the missile once again with two hands, he began to curve it slowly but surely in an upwards direction, its course headed towards the giant hole above Stark Tower.
"Wait, Cue-Ball! Are you nuts?! You're gonna get yourself killed!" Tony's voice called through the earpiece
"Stark's right, Krillin. You go through there, that's a one way trip. And there's no dragon here that can bring you back this time." Another more calm voice said to him.
"Yeah, I know, Cap. I also know people will die if I don't do anything. Besides, facing certain death to make sure others live… where I'm from, it's just another Tuesday for me."
By the time he had finished his witty quip and quite possibly his last words ever spoken, he was less than ten feet away from the portal. As he passed through the rip in the sky he soared through, all the air in his lungs suddenly vanished as he felt the indescribable chill of space spread all over him while staring at the armada of ships before him.
Using what remained of his strength, he pushed the missile dead on towards the fleet beyond and quickly, wordlessly raised his hand. A shining disc of energy formed spinning around the air above it just before he sent it hurtling towards the nuke with a much faster velocity. When the two met, an explosion on par with a supernova surrounded the area the ships occupied, tearing them all apart.
As he watched the work he made play out before him, Krillin closed his eyes, not dwelling on the cold now extending to his insides themselves, or the large amounts of frost developing around his face, but of his friends, his mentor, and his beloved wife and beautiful daughter. These thoughts warmed him down to his very core as he slowly lost consciousness, his world soon becoming black.
"Where are the Avengers?" The Russian member of the World Security Council asked.
"I'm not currently tracking their whereabouts. I believed they've all earned a leave of absence." Director Fury answered
"And the Tesseract?" A woman with a British accent responded with a question of her own.
"The Tesseract is where it belongs… out of our reach."
"That's not your call." An American sounding man said rather in a rather irritated tone.
"I didn't make it. I just didn't argue with the God that did."
"So you let him take it, and the war criminal Loki who should be answering for his crime?"
"Oh, I think he will be."
"And what of the one who stopped the portal?" The british woman said. "We'd very much have some things we wish to tell him."
All heads turned towards the source of the new presence among them as Krillin, now dressed in a prim and proper suit stepped into the room Fury and the holograms occupied.
"I actually have my own set of inquiries, like for starters, how you all can even sleep at night knowing that you willingly launched a nuclear warhead onto a unarmed civilian populace that was currently under fire. I may just be an Officer where I'm from, but if I'm not mistaken, that might fall under the descriptor of a war crime."
"You dare speak to us like this, alien?!" the Russian man angrily said.
"Human! I may be from another dimension and an Earth that's not the same as yours, but I'm just as human as the all the rest of you. Arguably, even more so. But I guess I should be thanking you all. True, you were all ok with killing innocent men, women and children, but you gave us the right tool to save the world the right way. It's not every day attempted murderers help save the day."
"I assume there's a point to this spiel you're going off on, Mr. Krillin." the American man asked.
"You'd assume correct. Here's what's going to happen: As of the end of this call, all of you are resigned from the World Security Council. You leave your posts, you serve no other position in your respective governments and we all forget this happened. Unless you all want the world to know where that missile that the TV networks caught me holding came from, because if so, I've got offers for direct interviews from several different news shows I can agree to." Krillin said in a calm and smug manner.
"You must be joking." The British woman exclaimed. "We are the ones that keep order and stability among our world. If that means ensuring the enemy is stopped at any cost, it's justified. You can't act like you know better than us."
"Can't I? Because I've fought against terrors, monsters beyond reason or compassion that make what Loki commanded look like a swarm of flies by comparison. And so have many of my friends whose powers even make MINE look pathetic. They had every chance to take the easy way out. But they didn't. Because when you have to achieve victory at the cost of innocents, the people you're supposedly trying to save, you've already lost. You fight for yourselves. But you guys are politicians, so I'm not really surprised."
"You think any of your words are going to affect or influence us?" the British woman answered back. "You think anything you say will convince the people for that matter? Despite whatever proof you can gather, any physical evidence of anything we do or have done, what it boils down to is that we are of this planet and you are not. The very people you swear to protect will fear and hate you in spite of everything you've done. You're alone, alien."
"Yeah, uh, no."
Everyone but Krillin turned to see Tony Stark casually waltzing in with one of his personal holographic interface devices in hand.
"Technically, he's not. And since you want to pull the "Alien Card," they may not believe what he has to say, but… I'm from this planet last I checked, and I have social media accounts on all major platforms that I frequent regularly."
"You don't have any proof to back these claims, Stark." the American man said.
"Hmm" The billionaire uttered just as his device lit up.
"Director Fury, the Council has made a decision."
"I recognize the Council has made a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it."
As the audio recordings played, Krillin's eyes widen as he fought desperately to hold back a laugh.
"Director, you're closer than any of our subs. You scramble your fighters and you-"
"That is the Island of Manhattan, Councilmen. Until I'm certain my team can't handle the situation, I WILL NOT order a nuclear attack against the civilian population."
"If we DON'T order it, we risk losing everything."
Stark shut down his device as he turned to look at the council members. "I'd call that check-mate, wouldn't you, folks?"
Fury carefully let a small grin make its home on his face.
"What do you think, Krill? You think this recording should go on Facebook? Twitter? I hear Reddit's getting pretty popular these days."
Krillin let lose a small chuckle "I say "why limit yourself?" Distribute it anywhere you can. And didn't you say your company had its own website? Just upload it there! Heck, wanna see if I can squeeze you in on one of those interviews I got on hold?"
"Well, don't think I need your help on that, but maybe The View would be a good-"
"ALRIGHT! Fine!" the british woman shouted. "We're resigning effective immediately. Are you happy now?"
Krillin grinned as he looked towards the verbally flustered woman. "Immensely. Pleasure doing business with you all."
All of the screens shut down, letting Fury pull down the last of his guards and roar with laughter. "Oh, man… I was this close! Please, don't ever do something like that again without warning me."
"Well, we couldn't exactly let you in on it." Krillin said. "That'd kinda be treason."
"I just wasn't expecting the british lady to burst out like that." Tony said while pulling a USB drive from his device. "Gotta love surveillance tech these days. Caught every single world they said. Almost makes me feel bad that we're still going to distribute the info even after they resign."
"Yeah," Krillin answered. "Almost. 200 says they all get individual sentences of twenty to life max."
Tony's eyebrow raised at this statement. "You say this knowing full-well that you don't have a single cent to your name here if you're wrong?"
"Eh, call it a feeling."
"Well," Fury spoke up. "I've got a feeling that you two should get the Hell off my Helicarrier before you either have me killed by nuke or sheer laughter. At least for a couple of days. Think I can convince you to stick around, Mr. Krillin?"
"Mmmh… I'm more of a soldier than a spy, Hell, warrior fits me better than either, but… we'll see where it goes." Krillin said with a grin. "I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon."
End of story. And yes, I know I skipped A TON of information about how Krillin came to the MCU universe, how he met up with Tony and co., what he did when Loki attacked the Helicarrier and all that, but I DID say this was a one-shot. If a whole lot of you want me to write a full story to this in earnest, like say…. 100 or so, I'll see if I can get something up and running, but for now, I have an old project to return to for about the second time in my life. If you're reading this, Jorn, it's time to get back to work… unless you're busy with YOUR OWN stories and can't immediately offer assistance, but if you can and want to, it's that time once again.
Happy New Year!