So I tried. Also in this story Jess didn't kiss Rory but she did tell him she was in love with Logan but you'll figure that out. I hope it's not so bad please tell me what you think even if it is negative.
I owe nothing, the characters are not mine but I do want to change their personnalities a little bit.
Chapter 1: «Say what you need to say»
Philadelphia November 14th
«A day without you is like a day that I can't breathe properly»
And as he looked at her walking away he knew. He knew he would never get over her. That was it, the big love, the one that hits you when you don't expect it, the one you feel in your stomac, the one only a few lucky people experience. That was it. That was her. He looked at her and couldn't stand the idea of letting her go, as she was about to disappear from his sight he was surprised to see her stop.
That's only after she did so that he realized what kept her from making another step.
Those two words were resonating in the room since the moment he let go of them.
«Don't go.» he found himself repeating. He took a deep breath before he kept going «I won't let you go this time, I can't, at least not before I tell you everything I have to tell you, everything I should have told you long before.»
She looked at him surprised before she made a few steps closer to him, she could see the way he was looking at her, she could see the love in his eyes. No one has never looked at her the way he did, and if she was being honest she never felt as loved as when she was with him, she loved the way he made her feel. She wanted to leave because every minute she spent with Jess, the more she loved him, that was how she has always felt around him. As she made the last step, making sure she wasn't too close to him so she could still be able to control herself from kissing him, she saw something she has never seen in someone's eyes before. It was fear. The fear of losing her, the fear of never see her again, the fear that it might be too late for their story to be saved.
He was looking at her with enough intensity to make someone fall in love instantly, he has been keeping his eyes on her since she moment she appeared, he could feel his heart beat faster than he has ever did. He haven't really thought about what to say though or rather how to say it, there was a million things he has wanted to tell her for a while but that was still messy thoughts, words mixing with others. But he could't go back now, he had to be honest with her, he owed her that, he had to take that chance or he knew he would regret it forever.
After another deep breath of his, after taking all the courage he needed to finally open himeself to her he started:
«I love you Rory, I loved you since the moment I saw you and I've been in love with you since the moment we've talked. Trust me I was the first surprised I've never been the kind of person to open himself to others and I don't let people in either but with you it was so easy, it was like destined to be, or at least I thought it was. And the more we were together the more I thought I didn't deserve you and I was so scared of losing you that it made me do stupid things and ended up losing you. I know I left, I can't apologize for that because I needed to, I needed to find myself so I could be a man I would be proud of, a man who could be more worthy of you. But I should have told you and I've been regreting it since the moment the bus' door closed behind you that day. I was a scared and lost kid trying to put his shit together.»
He stopped for a few seconds before taking another breath and continue his speech.
«That year I spent in California made me realize a lot of things, I took time for myself, I've thought, I've read, I've wrote and I've grown. There is not a single day that has past that I didn't miss you. When I finally felt like I had changed I've wondered if I should come back into your life, I don't wanted to mess it up more than I already had but when The Subsect got published I had to tell you, I had to show you and most importantly I had to thank you because you helped me to become the man I am today. I'm not gonna lie, seeing you with this guy hurt me a lot more than I could have ever imagine and especially since he was such a jerk to you. You didn't seem happy I could see that and I know I should have done more than just yell at you like I did but I knew it was probably not a good idea considering so I ran away again. I wasn't ready yet to stand up for the love I had for you but now I think I am, I know I am. and I know that I can't let you go out of that door.»
She didn't let go of his eyes, he was hurt she could see that. His eyes were expressing regret and remorse but also hope, the hope of forgivness and she let him keep going.
«The truth is, I can't live without you Rory. My life is not complete if you're not a part of it and I'll never be happy knowing I've lost you. I should have said that a long time ago but I'm sorry Rory, I'm sorry for being a jerk, I'm sorry for acting like I did when I came to your grandma, I'm sorry for screwing up with shcool so I couldn't take you to the prom and get myself kicked out, I'm sorry for pushing you that night, I'm sorry for not telling you what was going on, I'm sorry for leaving without saying I was, I'm sorry for all the time I called without being able to let go of a single sound. I'm sorry for the way things ended, I'm sorry for the way I told you I loved you and leaving again and I'm sorry for the way I asked you to come with me when I came to your dorm, I'm sorry. I guess I know know why people say love make you act crazy»
He surprised her with a small smile looking down at his shoes before looking back up to her.
«I love you Rory. I love and I always will, you're the only one to me, the only one I wanna be with and I'm ready, I'm ready to fight this time, I'm done running, I'm done denying how I feel and I'm done letting you go. I'm ready to fight and I'm ready to win you back no matter how long it takes»
She stayed frozen for what seemed like hours, she had her eyes stuck into his, she couldn't move, she couldn't talk. After a few seconds she realised she was crying, she could now feels tears flowing down her cheesk. Jess' words were in repeat in her head, she couldn't believe all the things he just said. All those years trying to get over him knowing it was pointless because even if she liked Logan or Dean, their stories were nothing compared to hers and Jess', her love for Jess has always been stronger than any other feeling she might have for the two others. She tried to push it aside, too afraid of being hurt again, too afraid he might run again. But she wasn't anymore, Jess had just said everything she had wished he would tell her. If he was ready to be with her, ready to fight for her, she was ready to let go of her fears and ready to stop dennying the fact she had never stopped loving him and that she knew she never could. She cleaned up her tears and as she collected her last thoughts she found herself leaning closer to him.
That was probably the most powerful kiss they ever had, Jess has always been the best kisser, if his eyes were enough to make you fall in love, his kisses could consumed you and definetly consumed her and she had missed it. She wanted to kiss him since the moment she entered the room. She has always felt so attracted to him even when she was with other people. It has always been Jess and she knew that.
Jess was surprised at first, when he felt her lips against his, he didn't expect this reaction if he was being honest. He let go just like she did, happy to see that maybe feelings were still there. They kept kissing for minutes, minutes that felt like hours. But none of them minded, it felt right, it felt good, it felt real, it felt like coming back to life and none of them was ready to stop yet.
She let her hands traveled to his neck and his hair, Jess' hands went from her neck to her lower back as he was bringing her closer to him. They let go of everything that pushed them apart all those years, all the fear, all the pain, and they let the past where it should remain, in the past. At this exact moment they were just two people in love, sharing a meaningful kiss.
After a few more minutes of intense kissing they finally broke apart. They looked into each other eyes for a few seconds before Rory finally broke the silence:
«Wow, that was...not really what I expected when I came here but I would be lying if I said I'm not happy it happened.» she made a step backward leaving Jess' arms as she realized what she has just done, she tried to collect her toughts.
Jess was still looking at her waiting for her to say something else, anything. As a dozen of questions came throught his mind: Does this mean she still loves me, Will she gives us another chance, What does this mean for the blond dick from Yale she just admited being in love with.
She was walking through the room looking at her shoes before turning around to face him:
«I'm in love with you» she said, saving Jess from his thoughts.
«I mean I'm still in love with you, I never really stopped, I guess I was in denial all this time because I was too scared to admit that I haven't been able to get over you and that I probably never will, I guess I was too scared of getting hurt again to let you come back into my life even though I was missing you like crazy.»
Jess was still standing here anable to make any move, she kept going now looking at her shoes again.
«I haven't been honest with you earlier about Logan... I...I broke up with him a few months ago, I haven't been able to tell exactly why, It just didn't feel right and when he asked me why I wanted our relathship to end I couldn't give him a valid explenation but now, now I know.»
She was now facing him again. «It didn't work because he wasn't you, because as much as I wanted my feelings for you to go away they're a part of me, you are a part of me, a part of me I can't get rid of apparently.» she let go of a nervous laugh.
Jess was still looking at her, and she was now walking closer to him putting her hand on his cheeks, she kissed him slowly for a few seconds and when she stopped she found herself saying, as she left her eyes fall into his:
«I want you, you and no one else.»
Now it was his turn to kiss her. They kissed again for a few minutes before he stepped back:
«what about now?»