12I do not own OUAT. Okay, so I've thought about it again and I've decided to do all the editing stuff when the story is complete- unless people indicate that there are things that have to be edited immediately because it makes the reading difficult or a lot less enjoyable. I hope you guys think that is okay, and that you enjoy this chapter : )
There are vines wrapped around her throat- no it's her mother's magic. It's her mother, in front of daddy and trying to- no it's – the face is suddenly hers, and those are her hands and – there's a hug, but not tears. The woman is stone- actual stone, so unlike the heart in her hand. The man drops, a corpse, and Regina grins-
And shatters
Regina shoots up in bed, gasping and panting, every breath hurting. Her pyjama is sticking to her because of all the sweat, and there are – she wipes the tears away, lays down again. Dreams about her father are not new, and he is often in her thoughts. And now, with the very thing she sacrificed him for unravelling, she is not surprised he has returned.
Still, it is far from pleasant. Even with that hole in her heart, her father's death was a sore subject. She might not have felt the pain, the remorse, at first but he wasn't there and that was difficult enough. Her father's kind words and unfailing presence in her life had been one of the only things she could hold onto and that he wasn't there, was wrong.
And now she can feel that regret and pain, and it makes her nights so much harder. It means she hardly sleeps, and there are ghosts haunting her when she does. She has always been dramatic, but that is just what it is- all the people she killed and the people that could get killed because of her visiting her at night.
She has never felt more tired.
Blood on her hands, more blood on the ground than fits in one human body. Hay- the smell of it, and soft neighs. His hands- a hug, changing into a chokehold. Nothing but a monster, nothing but a monster- something he would never tell her, and he would definitely not whisper in her ear while choking her. She starts screaming when his face melts – and it becomes her own
She wakes, again. Spends what might be hours, might be minutes tossing and gasping and clutching the sheets. Falls, again
Family dinner, laughter. Henry's – there is some joke. Emma smiling at her, sauce smeared all over that pretty face. A napkin, more laughter and jokes from Henry. The lights disappearing. The furniture around her disappearing. Just darkness, and a glimpse of Henry's pale, terrified face. The mob is on him- she is screaming and pushing and then he is the mob. Throwing his torch in front of her, chanting along with the others. Emma holds the –
She grasps at her neck, for a moment expecting there to be nothing, just blood. But her head is still attached and the room is light- there is even a bird chirping, and she is relieved instead of annoyed. She has a reason to stumble out of bed now, and she pretends like it has nothing to do with her fingers that shake when she tries to disrobe, and everything with how she has things to do today.
She takes a quick shower, pulls on the outfit she allowed Henry to select last night ( he has decided she needs to dress 'softer' as well, so the people are less scared off her) and goes downstairs. For a very irrational second, she thinks she will see a torch and a bloodied sword but it's just her family. Goofing around, like usually.
Emma stops stealing bits of food from Henry's plate, and pretending to give it back to him only to pop it in her mouth, and grins at Regina. Henry snatches the piece of food she still has in her hand, and grins at well.
"What are you children up to?" she asks.
"We are holding a meeting" Henry says, and Regina smiles fondly at him, her chest burning vaguely with pride, when he sits up and adopts a very serious expression. Emma, on the other hand, rolls her eyes with a smile and mouths 'nerd' playfully.
"Miss Swan, you will not use that word in connection with ou- my son"
Henry grins brightly, and sometimes she really hates how bright he is because her life would be easier if she had a child who was less smart. He is so smart, and he notices so much and it is simultaneously a source of pride and migraines. Now, it's mostly a migraine as his expression just screams he has filed away her slip-up in his mind, underlined it, boldened it and will talk to her about it endlessly.
"What, a nerd? " Emma says, taking another bite of her pancake
"Yes"
She shrugs. " He is, too" Regina glares at her warningly when the woman's slight smile turns into a grin that screams that Regina's authority is going to be undermined again. " The real surprise is that you're the reason why he is such a nerd in the first place"
" Miss Swan- "
"All the threats and formality and business suits can't hide it Regina- " Emma brandishes the spoon like a sword, an uncomfortable reminder for Regina. " You are a giant nerd"
" And you are a child" Regina replies drily, praying Emma doesn't notice how she is different this morning. The woman can understand her annoyingly well however, and the gods have never been as kind as to listen to Regina's prayers, much less answer them.
"Really kid, I still can't believe it "she tells Henry.
Henry quickly swallows. "Can't believe what?"
"That your mother is such a nerd. She does such a good job hiding it" Emma says, with a grin towards Regina. Her favourite current hobby is annoying Regina before she has had her coffee, and keep count of how many 'miss Swan's she gets.
Regina sits down, and sips her coffee. At least Swan was smart enough to make her some, instead of leaving that job to Regina herself and risk mutilation to that gorgeous body of hers.
" I do not hide what I enjoy, none of the townspeople have simply endeared them to me enough to be privy to my – "
Emma rolls her eyes "I wasn't 'privy' to them either. For the first weeks- "
"You were still just an interloper" Regina reminds her
Emma grits her teeth. " We became friends pretty quickly"
"No, we did not"
"Yes, we did! We had lunches together after like, three weeks"
"You barged in on my free time, you mean"
"Moms, can you not?"
They both stare at him. Regina's hand drops from where it was reaching for her coffee. Syrup escapes Emma's mouth, and becomes another stain on her tank top ( were Henry and her involved into a food fight, again? ).
"Moms?" Emma says, glancing at Regina.
Regina just stares back at her, and arches an eyebrow at Henry. " I thought we had discussed- "
Henry shrugs. "You like her, and she has been around a lot. You can both be my moms. Someone can have two, right?"
Emma chuckles. "Usually a different type of arrangement, kid"
Regina eyes Henry's expression with a fair amount of suspicion, and more wariness. She knows that look. It's his plotting look, the one he uses on his teachers, a seemingly innocent but actual devious one. "What kind?"
Emma looks at Regina again, obviously asking for permission. Regina nods, so she sighs and just says " Well, if the parents love each other"
"But you love each other" he leans in immediately, and Regina rolls her eyes when he whispers "Mom doesn't tell you, but she really does"
"We're friends. Usually, two moms have to be together"
"You are together right now"
"No, I mean- " Emma sighs. " They have to kiss and hold hands, and- stuff"
Regina hides a smirk behind her coffee. It's very obvious to her what kind of 'stuff' Emma is thinking off. She almost cackles when Henry questions 'what kind of stuff?' and Emma becomes adorably awkward and uncomfortable, throwing her a look that screams 'you do something!'
She slowly puts her coffee down. "She is speaking off things that married people do, Henry "
He frowns. "What do they do then?"
" As miss- Emma mentioned before, they hold hands"
"You have held hands"
" Miss Swan had forgotten her gloves"
" You have kissed her"
" Wow, she so hasn't- "
"She has! That time you fell asleep here again, she kissed your forehead"
Regina loves her son, but sometimes she wants to sew his lips shut or vanish his tongue just for a little while. Or maybe use a teensy-tiny memory spell. " Henry- "
Emma looks at her with a soft smile. It's the one that makes Regina feel like a seventeen-year old girl hiding in the stables with Daniel again, damn it. " I thought I dreamed that"
Regina clears her throat. " Henry insisted"
"Mami! Stop lying" Henry immediately scolds, which is ridiculous as she is the adult. And he is just her brilliant, sweet and kind of devious son.
"Io siento, principito"
" So you admit you were kissing me, then? " Emma says and oh gods what has Henry done?
" On the forehead. Because it is an automatic response, after years of raising Henry"
Emma is still looking smug, which has Regina repressing bad, bad ideas.
"So you've held hands, and kissed, which means you've done everything you need to do to be my moms" Henry cuts in, grinning happily
Emma rests her head on the table, and glances at Regina. "Can you explain it to him?"
" Henry, the usual arrangement that leads to a child having two mothers, is those two women being in a romantic relationship"
"Why aren't you?"
"Miss Swan and I are friends- barely friends at that"
"It's because your mom has a sti- " Emma shrugs when Regina glares at her, and amends "Because we're not dating"
" Why aren't you?"
"Because"
"Because we are not, Henry"
"So it means you can't be my moms?"
"No, mijo, we are your mothers. We just are not involved"
Henry frowns, then shrugs. " Okay "
He seems a lot less impressed than Emma, who is swallowing and staring at Regina with this very odd expression. " We are?"
"That is- I thought you wanted that?"
" Yes, I just- yes! Si, Enrique" Emma says, using the Spanish version of Henry's name. He just grins at her, and takes several gargantuan bites before wiping his mouth ( face really, although who knows how he managed to get food on his cheeks as well. Regina suspects the involvement of a certain blonde).
"Okay, so the book" he starts, tapping it where it rests on his lap. " We got to arrange the ball – and maybe you can apologize to Belle, mom. Bring her flowers or something, she really likes those. And there's some other stuff we need to do"
" May I finish breakfast first, king Henry?" Emma says
" Mom is a queen, so I would be a prince" Henry corrects, which makes Regina gaze at him proudly like usual. Emma often jokes that Regina would still be watching with pride if Henry came home 'rocking' a mohawk ( Regina may have overreacted. Slightly. In her defence, she did think Emma was planning to give Henry a mohawk, after the woman explained what it was)
"Fine, your highness"
Regina chuckles. Emma and Henry love teasing each other, and Emma in particular is very good at it. She isn't good with words, with long speeches and even with 'I love you' but she constantly makes sure Regina and Henry know she values them by teasing them, and doing thoughtful things for them.
" No fights, children" she warns.
"Yes, your majesty" Emma grins at her, and Regina has to struggle to keep smiling back. She doesn't like that term. She really does not. Especially not after that dream a few nights back, where-
"Mami?" she focuses on Henry again, who thankfully hasn't noticed anything was wrong. He smiling at her, and she treasures his smiles more than ever after being deprived off them for so long.
"Si, mi cielo?"
" We really have to discuss this. It has to be perfect"
Emma leans in so Henry can't hear her when she whispers. " He got that crazy expression from you – you have it whenever we have work meeting. The perfectionism is so you, too"
She leans back. " Okay Enrique, tell us what we will be doing?"
Dangerous words to say. Very dangerous.
Somehow, Henry gets his wish
(it has nothing to do with how desperate Regina is to keep him smiling and nothing to do with how Emma has a soft spot for the both of them)
They start planning the ball, which mainly means Henry talks incessantly about costumes and drinks and contests ('there has to be a contest, mom, that's so cool') while Belle comes over to their home, with plans and suggestions and too many smiles while Regina is stuck actually doing things like calculating the costs, calling people and all the practical things. Emma lounges around, teases everyone, and will never shut up about the pictures as well as about costume choices for Regina ( there is one particular awful suggestion that involves dressing up as Snow White and Regina sends her passive-aggressive threats for two weeks until Emma apologizes)
Also, Regina can no longer go anywhere in her home without almost tripping over costume parts or plans. When she goes to the bedroom, there is a small notebook with paintings and notes in Henry's handwriting. Henry's room has basically exploded, cloths and comics and pictures laying everywhere. Her office has Belle's papers with her very beautiful handwriting on it, as well as some of the stuff Henry keeps bringing her. Even her bedroom has some things.
Emma finds this amazing, of course, smirking and rolling her eyes and sharing looks with her. She jokes a lot, nudges Henry and teases him until he scowls and she apologizes. He mostly forgives her because he has picked up on how Emma actually is excited for the ball. Kinda. She scoffs and pretends like she will hate it, but sometimes Regina and Henry catch that excited glint in her eyes and share a fond look.
She's always indulging Henry, going along with his plans and offering suggestions but Regina also notes she has started extensively planning her own costume. Annoyingly, 'MM' (as Emma refers to her sometimes) has insisted on helping, so Emma spends less time with them than Regina would prefer to. (she will still not admit that she was missing Emma, and that's why she invited Mary Margaret to her house for the first time ever)
It's a lot of chaos and work and planning, but somehow, miraculously, Regina is enjoying herself. It has led to nights like this, with Emma sprawled on her couch and Henry sitting on a small pile of pillows on the floor.
"Hey mom, what do you think of Odysseus?" Henry is offering right now, the third or fourth or- Regina kind of lost count of how many suggestions she has heard just this evening.
She arches an eyebrow "He is not my favourite one"
"Yeah, I know. You cry like every time Patrocles dies" Henry mumbles, then perks up. " Hey! I could be Patrocles- and maybe Nick or someone could be Achilles"
" What do you need Achilles for, kid?"
Henry rolls his eyes. "You can't have Patrocles without Achilles Emma, they're like – they're always together, right? And like, Achilles can't be without Patrocles because they're just that important to each other"
He grins at them. " Kind of like you and mom"
Emma snorts "Weren't Patrocles and Achilles like, lovers? Also, neither of us are soldiers kid"
"Yeah, but you could totally be Achilles. You would be all heroic and fighting but also kind of childish. You would totally freak out if mom got hurt, too. And mom could be Patrocles- although she isn't that much like him, I guess, but I dunno- it could still work"
"What, your mom couldn't be Achilles?"
Regina swallows. " I am not a hero"
Henry looks confused. " No, mom- it's just that I can't imagine you as a soldier. And Emma kinda is, because she just to be a bailbonds person, right?"
Something tight and burning loosens in Regina's chest, and she laughs " All right, mijo. That is a good argument"
" I don't know, kid. I can totally imagine your mom being a badass fighter " Emma cuts in, grinning at Regina, who feels an absurd inclination to giggle suddenly. She tampers it down, but she can't hide her pleased smile.
She can't hold back a laugh either, although she is rolling her eyes at the same moment, when Emma adds " Wouldn't mind seeing you in armour, either"
Regina actually has to bite her lip, hard, and her heart hammers when she almost, almost she is a fool, reveals that she had , in fact, once worn armour and actually fought in a war. Fortunately, she has a lifetime of pretending and she can hide that sudden emotions erupting inside her, before she pushes them down " I will not be Achilles, Emma"
" Ugh, why not?"
"Mom also doesn't like him that much"
"What? I thought Achilles was pretty cool"
"It is not that I dislike him " Regina offers
Emma chuckles " Okay, miss picky-much. What hero do you like then?"
"Honestly, I am not a fan of so-called heroes"
"Okay, that's fair. Do you already have ideas for a costume, at least? Because if you aren't going to be one hell of a gender bent Achilles, who will you be?"
Regina smirks " I am still not telling you, miss Swan"
Emma rolls her eyes. "Fine. Keep your secrets, mystery woman"
It's just an innocent comment, one that Emma doesn't mean anything with, Regina knows that. But she thinks of hundreds of hearts in her vault, Emma's long-lost parents not far from here and townspeople with wrong memories and she has to look away. Fortunately, Henry immediately starts talking to distract Emma ( Regina knows he has noticed what happened, and she is thankful and mad at herself at the same time)
" What are you going as, Emma?"
Emma chuckles. " Don't know yet. You had some very good ideas, but – " she shrugs. " It has kind of become a big deal, right?"
Regina slowly looks their way again, because she is weak and can't get her eyes away from them for long. Henry is smiling happily, hugging a pillow and sharing smile with the both of them like it's easy, like he just loves her again. " The town is really excited. I think even Granny is sort of excited about it"
Regina chuckles, but doesn't mention it's probably because Granny will be making money. She has learnt some things, after all.
" Yeah the town is going batshit crazy over this" Emma chuckles. " You should hear MM, she's almost as obsessed at you"
Regina almost makes a face, but keeps her distaste hidden. She is unfailingly polite towards the woman, and she has even invited her to her house again after that first time, but even hearing her name is still something she is far from happy about. Henry throws her a stern look, but he's also smiling. Over the months , he has gone from wary to amused whenever she reacts to the mention of Mary Margaret or the woman herself.
" Like seriously- she is constantly talking about " Emma snorts. " Last week, she wanted to practise dancing with me. Like, not club dancing but dancing like the waltz and that kind of shit"
" Can you, dear?" Regina cuts in, arching an eyebrow at Emma.
"Can I what- dance? Yeah, but not the kind that MM was talking about. I mean, who can?"
Henry almost bounces, and quite possibly hurts his neck when he snaps it to Regina. "Mom! She can dance like that, she could teach you"
Emma looks stunned. " You can waltz?"
"I am a woman of many talents "Regina says, laughing awkwardly. She loves her son dearly, but she wants to ground the smartass for the rest of his childhood right now.
Emma shakes her head. " Nope. I don't even believe it "
Regina narrows her eyes " Miss Swan- "
"There's no way, Regina. Sorry, I don't believe you"
Regina sighs when the music starts playing. Henry, curse (no- ground, she loves him too much for curses ) his scheming ass, had slipped away and quickly found an appropriate song to put on. She slowly rises, holding her hand out to Emma. "I will just have to prove myself then, don't I?"
Emma stares at her hand for several tense seconds before accepting it " Yeah okay"
Regina shows Emma how to do the steps, not really agreeing with Emma when she says she is 'ready' but agreeing if only so she can have the pleasure of getting to tell her 'I told you so ' or at least annoying her with a look.
Regina slowly puts Emma's hand on her shoulder, takes her free hand and finally places her own free hand on Emma's middle. As Regina predicted, Emma fumbles on some of the steps ( there is one particularly embarrassing incident where Emma stumbles and they end up too close and gods Regina's body is a traitorous bitch) but she catches on surprisingly quickly.
She even leads at one point, and Regina feels that giggle again but she pushes it down and rolles her eyes and hides smiles instead when Emma keeps pulling them too close together. They only stop when the song has played about six times, and they're both thirsty.
Emma returns with two glasses, and immediately downs her own. " That was fun" she says, smiling happily and Regina feels so – she can't really describe the feeling, apart from light- that she just returns the smile and doesn't complain when Emma puts the glass down on her table that shouldn't have rings on it.
" Why are you smirking, you- "
"Have you ever slow danced, madam mayor?"
" No" Regina just says, glaring when Emma comes closer
"Because those fancy dances may be cool and all, but knowing how to slow dance is a very important skill"
"No" Regina repeats
"Yes"
"No, Emma"
Emma just grins, and slowly reaches for her hand. Regina doesn't pull away, but does give Emma a look that is clearly meant to mean 'if you even consider it, I will make your life hell'. Except this infuriating woman is far from afraid of her, so she just chuckles and gently pulls her closer.
"Come on. I promise I won't bite" she says, and Regina lets loose a long stream of curses in her head when Emma playfully adds " Unless you want me to"
She gives in, because a traitorous, stupid, weak part of her desperately wants her to. Apparently she is a masochist(then again, she knew that the moment she decided to accept a friendship with Snow's spawn)
And yes it hurts, having Emma be so close and wanting something but it is also wonderful. It is so wonderful that slowly, her tense position relaxes and Emma uses dark magic or some sort of siren power Regina didn't know about and then Regina is suddenly, very carefully lowering her head to rest on Emma's shoulder.
They only let go when Henry gets bored, and demands they teach him as well. Which is still wonderful, and has Regina feeling like that again. She hasn't felt so alive in a long, long time and she enjoys the feeling as long as it lasts.
She is not naïve or stupid enough to believe that that will be a long time.