We only fear which we do not understand.
The truth is when one experience death you would never truly get over it.
Surely you agree with this truth after all no person have overcome death and truly tell us the detailed on what will happen to us after we live.
Perhaps people who suffered near death experience or those people who said they were messenger of god would refute that they know what will we be in the afterlife. They might be saying the truth or not but in the end people would never understand or believe in it until they see it for themselves.
After all, seeing is believing.
Regardless of that death is still an unknown thing to people. No one would truly know death until you face it.
And right now I was in death's domain.
This endless bound of darkness with nothing in sight is what death truly is.
Facing death is a lonely and scary thing.
I know for sure that place is something people would never want to be in even if it's already predestined for every living being to be there.
What do I mean by that? I really can't formulate the exact words to describe what it is. You could say there are no words to describe it. All I know is that this place is where dead people reside in even if you don't exactly see or feel them.
Maybe that is a time and a place. That could also be a concept, formless and shapeless.
What I could say in this is that living through death will make anyone's mind go insane and maybe I already am. I knew I don't want to be in that world and remain there any longer.
That place which is the most disgusting and repulsive than any place I've known. But there's no denying that place doesn't exist and the fact I couldn't deny it makes me despair.
Death truly is a worthy of fear than anything else
For a moment, he felt like he was floating, but soon after that, he was able to hear the sound of a soothing voice being cut through the place he was in.
He knew he was no longer in that dark, obscure, meaningless place. He doesn't know how he escaped that abyss but he is more than relief he would never lay his eyes on it.
In the end the place he was before still leaves a mark to his being. Because the remaining ominous and helpless feeling still lingers in the depth of his core.
In that soothing, warm place he is no longer alone. Even though it's still dark and that he is confused from all the changes, it was no longer scary unlike before. Even if he doesn't see him, he could still feel him, his other companion in this place of tranquillity and serenity.
That companion provided comfort and safety to him who is too hollow and scared. Perhaps that companion is the source of all this warmth in the first place. The warmth which not only penetrated his body but also his depraved soul.
This warm, yet slightly prickly sensation could completely make one forget oneself. It entices him to let go all of the things that made him be what he is. But being a coward he is, the reluctance to let go never waned, feeling afraid that if he forgot he would regret it for the rest of his life. Although leaving all the dark emotions he have from the past is a good decision, he just simply cannot let go all of the frustration he endured. No he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let go of it in the first place.
Being surrounded by the surreal feeling of tenderness and warmth, thoughts like leaving this place doesn't cross his mind. Albeit, not seeing or even not having the ability to have a conversation with his companion is disappointing, it was still partially alright to him since he doesn't want to leave this safety net he's dwelling in. If he could live like this forever then it wouldn't be such a bad thing either.
But as they say all happiness always come to an end one way or another. Or perhaps the better term like the bitter youth would always say is that forever doesn't exist.
It was inevitable that things couldn't remain the same. Even if this place was comforting it still getting cramped in here. The more we stay in here, there is no doubt that one of us would burst one day.
He has suspicion on these current circumstances he and his companion are in but he doesn't want to admit such things yet. It's just inconceivable for that to happen even though he already surpasses the impossibility of escaping death.
He doesn't know how much time passed but he feel a sudden shake of movement, destroying the once peace this place was in before.
He feels his other companion reacting aggressively, most likely he too sense the sudden change of their warm abode.
He doesn't like this vague feeling of unknown; it reminds him too much of that place and being reminded of that caused him to fear once again. At the same time he is also worried. Would his companion also be pulled in by that just because it wanted to punish him for escaping? He doesn't know the answer but he rather not go through that again much less involves his companion in that hell.
As he wait in what seems like hours in the darkness he is familiar with, he saw for the first time a blinding flash of light. Before approaching the the light for a moment, emotions like being afraid, joy and hope were mixed in jumble making him confused on what he truly feels.
After a short moment of delay, his mind began to comprehend the feeling of coldness. Being assaulted by this previously known yet forgotten sensation, he began to panic under the intense feeling of shock and started to struggle.
Feeling suffocated, his being screamed for oxygen, it was an unbearable sensation. Unable to understand his situation, he didn't have time to think about what happened to his other companion as he could only do was struggle from this painful hardship.
Without being able to take action in controlling his body, and his mind being clouded from pain, as if being liberated from being chained by the darkness, his body started to cry instinctively. He cried for the longest time as though this is the first time he cried in his whole existence. Not soon after he heard someone crying with him, which seemingly like a duet, the sounds of crying produced a tune that he is deeply connected with.
With his consciousness being fuzzy and his state of mind being all wacky, he tried to open his eyes only to see a blurry world. It was a chaotic world through his eyes; colors other than black were muddle while the outlines are dim. He began to feel unease from all the sudden influx of information he currently perceived.
Just what the heck is going on?
Trying to calm himself and think clearly was a hard endeavour, not only his sense of smell keep distracting him other sounds keep hurting his too sensitive hearing. His mind is unable to maintain his consciousness as though his body can't accept its own self. His mind finally shut down like a marionette whose strings had been cut.
Whenever his consciousness returned, he sometimes recalled the sound of a baby's audible crying and every time he began to fade, he always feel so embarrassed to himself. Granted a baby shouldn't feel embarrassed at all since this are their natural instinct to tell the world what they need. But having the mind of a young adult he feels disconnected with the infant's body, unable to properly understand the information being given.
But adapting to different situations is his specialty therefore with his mind still confused and jumbled up; he starts relaxing and goes with the flow, throwing his unclear emotions under the bus.
Throughout all this, someone was either with him, a female giant and a small baby that is always within his reach which he suspected as the other companion in his previous home. Although he is still confused, he had finally grasped the general idea of his current situation. Yet even then, it only further added up his confusion.
He remember dying a horrible and pitiful death by the hands of a robber, thrown in that loathsome place, and then escapes into the warm and soothing place, acquired a companion which alleviate his loneliness and finally being tossed with his other companion into the light. The light which is this world he lives in.
He finally comprehended and accepted that he turned into a baby and that the place he was in before was his mother's- he buried this thought deep in the recesses of his mind. He concludes that he was reborn in a new body with his mind still intact.
Although he is not a buddhist in the past, he could clearly recognized the situation he was in as it reminds him of the stories and novels he often like to read in the past. Despite the fact that those stories always jump into being born after dying, or dying and then meeting god or a higher being in some cases. Never in his wildest ideas would he also received the same treatment like them. Albeit it is still different as that have scarred and twisted him to the core and those characters never received such reception in their life.
He doesn't know if he could still live normally because of that experience and he feels guilty that his mother wouldn't be able to have a normal son because of his current psyche. He wouldn't fault his mother if she abandoned him in a sidewalk because of how unnatural he is.
When his eyes finally began to vividly see the surroundings, all that was in view was a beautiful woman's face; he instinctively knew that this is the mother who takes care of him and his other companion that he recognized as his twin sibling. He doesn't know what his sibling's gender is and who the older and younger sibling between them is. At the same time he also has no idea what their new name is.
To his outmost disappointment and frustration he tried remembering the name of his past and the only thing that his mind drawn in is a blank space. He remembers the small and big events he had in his previous life but he no longer remember the important things like name and age of himself. Perhaps the time he remained in that have caused his mind to rotten away, memories being chipped one by one as that tried to swallowed him whole and becoming one with that in the end.
He impulsively cries because of the sudden intense effort he exerted in his mind that his vessel's sensitivity caught on. Due to his incessant crying, it seems his other twin perceives his current feeling and cry with him also.
Is this what they called twin senses!?
Or maybe I just disturbed my twin's sleep.
I'm sorry my new mother it seems you have to console the both of us now instead of just me.
I am deeply sorry for troubling you once again.
A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the review, favourites and follows. Though I'm not confident in my writing I am thankful for giving your time in reading this story. My grammar may not be perfect but I hope it won't stop you reading them.