Blond Jokes 5: Night of the Fangirl

AN: It's only taken about 7 years or so to get the next Blond Jokes story out. *Sigh!* I'm not sure how many more are going to be in this series. Honestly I'm having trouble finding jokes that are short and not horribly insulting. A lot of the jokes I found are very sexual and not funny and I just can't see Dark using some of them on Krad. I also am trying not to repeat jokes so each story has different jokes in it. As I have said before this is NOT my personal opinion of blondes.

(Daisuke to Dark.)

((Dark to Daisuke.))

/Satoshi to Krad./

/Krad to Satoshi./


Dark chuckled dancing out of the path of a fireball thrown by his light counterpart. Tan lips curved up in amusement, "so my other half. Why don't blonds double the amount in recipes?" Purple eyes locked with furious golden feline eyes, "because the oven doesn't go to 700 degrees."

Daisuke sighed in exasperation one of these days the black angel was going to run out of blond jokes but apparently today was not that day.

A pale jaw tightened gold magic sparking around white gloved fingers. The Hikari hunter wanted nothing more at the moment than to wrap his fingers around the other angel's throat and strangle the life from the other half of his soul. "Mousy!"

Satoshi chuckled in amusement getting a great deal of entertainment out of the thief's antics. It was rather fun to watch the two angels interact kinda like a TV show and he was always looking forwards to learning more blond jokes.

Dodging several glowing feathers the thief reached for tempting golden tresses only to have the light entity twist out of reach. The thief frowned in disappointment before smiling once more, "How do you keep a blond busy for hours?" The purple haired kaito ducked around a pillar trying to get behind his opposite. "You place them in front of a mirror and tell them to play rock, paper, scissors."

The young police commander jumped at the sharp mental jab from his curse.

/"That is a modern version of stone, parchment, dagger?"/

/"It is."/

Dark darted out from behind his pillar only to find a fireball coming straight for him. He dropped to the floor rolling letting the golden energy fly harmlessly over his head. (("I think my other half's aim is improving.))

Ruby eyes rolled, ("gee it's not like he's getting practice.")

(("Your sarcasm is dually noted Dai-chan.")) the thief then pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. (("My sweet little Daisuke is growing up so fast.")) Tan lips curved into a wide smirk, (("now I just need to hook you up with the creepy kid of your dreams, snag myself a blond angel and my life will be complete."))

Daisuke's eyebrow twitched, ("seriously!")

The phantom ignored the indignant sounds from his host, "so why do men like blond jokes?"

Krad paused energy crackling around his hands.

"Because they can understand them." Dark skidded to a halt blinking rapidly, "oh, oh! I just insulted myself with that one."

Yellow feline eyes rolled, "yes... me, yourself and both of our tamers." The white angel sneered, /"idiot!"/

/"Ah, but an idiot you like,"/ chortled Satoshi as he pushed his glasses up his nose smiling widely.

The white angel actually growled, /"are we back to this again!"/

The thief took advantage of his counterpart's moment of distraction to slide closer.

The hunter's attention was yanked back to his fight when he felt warm breath against his face. Slit pupil eyes widened as the ice demon tried to back away from the happily smirking black angel who was only inches away.

The kaito leaned forwards quickly pecking the retreating blond on the lips, "What did the blond name his watch dogs?" The thief chuckled, "Timex and Rolex."

Krad paused blinking in confusion. /"what is wrong with those names?"/

Satoshi snorted, /"you really are clueless sometimes aren't you."/

/"I have been asleep for the last three generations."/

/"Timex and Rolex are brands of watches. So the blond naming his watch dogs that…"/

/"Yes, yes, I got it!"/

Purple eyes glittered, (("he's so adorable when he's confused. Hmm, I wonder…")) One tan hand lifted tugging lightly on flaxen bangs, "so why can't blonds count to 70?" The black angel grinned widely bouncing on his toes, "because 69 is such a mouth full."

Daisuke choked… ("… … …!")

The blue haired genius grimaced feeling his curse's confusion double… nope, no way was he explaining that one.


/"No. No way!"/ The last Hikari shook his head rapidly. /"I'm not explaining! If you really want to know I'll let you use the computer when we get home."/

Krad's head was cocked lips lightly parted eyes and expression blank showing no signs that he comprehended the implications of the joke.

The red head buried his burning face in his hands, ("I can't believe you went there!")

The kaito slowly backed away heading for a set of stairs leading to the second floor.

("He's going to be so furious when he does understand that joke.") Moaned Daisuke, ("and we're going to be so dead. He's going to kill you slowly and I'm going to die because I'm your host!")

(("You may be right,")) Dark began to climb the stairs. The thief then pouted, (("I wish I could be a little fly on the wall to see my other half's reaction when he does understand. It would be so amusing.")) The black angel melted into the shadow quickly turning towards the roof. He couldn't help but to snicker to himself as he sprinted down the hall. He did so enjoy teasing his opposite the blond was just so fun to mess with he so loved the way amber eyes lit in fury. Now he wanted to see those pretty eyes light in passion that would make him one very happy creature. As he came around a corner into one of the large display chambers he stumbled in shock as a body collided with him and a high pitched voice squealed in his ear.


(("Oh hell no!")) The thief grimaced franticly trying to detached the human leach that had attached itself to his person. (("Oh my God! Where did she come from!"))

("You did encourage this,") Daisuke smirked unsympathetically. ("You went on a date with her and lead her on before trying to break it off. It really is your own fault.")

((""Not helping Dai-chan!)) Dark struggled to get away from the clingy girl but only succeeded in toppling the both of them off the balcony running around the second story of the chamber. The thief wrapped his magic about himself as he fell so he wouldn't be hurt upon his probably ungraceful landing. He really hoped his other half didn't see this he'd never live it down.


The Hikari hunter growled under his breath in frustration annoyed at himself for getting distracted enough that the kaito had escaped. He could still sense the thief's magic on the floor above him and he knew that this hall led into a display chamber where he could fly to the second floor and intercept the other angel. The ice demon had almost reached the chamber when he heard a high pitched squeal from above him. Krad stopped abruptly in surprise as the black clad thief landed with a grunt in front of him. Golden eyes narrowed however when the white angel notice the human girl clinging to his darker counterpart. At first the blond felt a flicker of amusement at the Kaito's struggles but then he was able to understand what the human girl was blabbering on about and he was no longer amused in the least. Some emotion that he couldn't place ripped through the hunter causing him to gasp.

"And then we're going to get married, and invite everyone we know. It will be a large wedding and lots of pink and flowers and purple for you. And then we're have lots and lots of kids and live happily ever after forever! And you've love me and care for me and nothing will ever come between us!"

/"Ooooh, you're jealous!"/

/"I am not!"/

The blue haired teen nodded, /you're very good at lying to yourself aren't you?"/

/"I have no idea what you are talking about Satoshi-sama./

/"Of course you don't,"/ murmured the teen leaning back to see what his curse was going to do.

The white angel stepped forwards head cocking to the side, "I guess it is true what they say." One white gloved hand reached down prying the human girl from the phantom theif and lifting her by the throat. "the only way a brunette can get an attractive guy is to hold him hostage."

Sapphire eyes widened in disbelief, /"did you just make a joke?"/

Daisuke choked in shock, ("did Krad just make a joke?")

(("I think he did,")) the black clad angel rolled to his feet smirking happily.

("You don't think Krad is going to hurt Harada-san do you?")

(("I'm watching him Dai-chan.")) Though in some far off part of his mind Dark really didn't care what happened to the girl as long as he got his angel.

/"Do not hurt her Krad!"/

The blond angel merely sniffed in response.

Risa stared in fear into cold slit pupil amber eyes. "Dark-san help me."

Golden eyes flashed, "the thief is mine human," Krad's lips curled into a very unpleasant smile, "if you wish for continued good health lose this fascination you have with the Kaito." The white angel tightened his grip on the girl a little more, "have I made myself clear?"

Risa nodded rapidly brown eyes wide hands wrapped about the angelic blond's wrist.

The ice demon release his grip letting the girl fall to the floor gasping for breath. After a moment of no movement from the human female he took a menacing step forwards wings unfurling, "leave!"

Risa scrambled to her feet and with only a brief glance at the black angel she took off down the hall as fast as she could.

Dark leapt forwards wrapping his arms around the light hunter's neck, "awe. Kraddy I knew you cared." With that he pressed their mouths together ignoring the hands trying to push him away. He finally pulled back regarding his opposite's annoyed angry expression. Purple eyes sparkled in delight, "I'm going to steal your icy heart and keep it safe for all of our existence." He leaned in once more kissed the pale lips lightly, dodged a white gloved fist aimed at his head and bounded off down a hall.

Golden eyes watched the phantom vanish into the darkness however the hunter made no move to follow this time.

/"You're just going to let him leave?"/

/"This time yes,"/ Krad smiled slowly, /"I will be seeing him very soon and it will be on my terms."/ The icy blond pulled a small statue from his pocket holding it up to the light. /"After all my other self is going to want his target."/

Satoshi's mouth dropped open, /"you picked his pocket! That is why you weren't struggling!"/

The Hikari curse merely smiled a little bit wider.


Dark grinned at Emiko, "nothing much happened tonight." He reached in his pocket for the small statue that had been his target for the night and froze purple eyes wide. "It's gone!" The kaito's mind flashed back to earlier when he'd hugged his blond angel. He remember feeling something tugging at his coat but he'd thought it was only Krad trying to push him away. Apparently the white angel had picked his pocket while he'd been distracted with the ice demon's lips. Amethyst eyes lifted to the three curious Niwas, "it seems as if my counterpart has liberated the artwork from me tonight." The black angel then chortled rubbing his hands together, (("looks like I'm going to have to pay a visit to creepy-boy."))

("Dark! Hiwatari-kun is not creepy!") The red head frowned at his companion, ("and you can't go tonight. I have school in the morning and need to go to sleep.")

The phantom pouted, (("but Dai-chan."))

("No buts.")

The black clad thief sighed, (("fine, fine, but tomorrow.")) He retreated letting his host take control of their body.

Daisuke pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation waving off the curious questions of his family. "It's nothing," the red head turned heading up the stairs to his room. His life had sure gotten interesting once he'd turned fourteen.


AN: I got the Risa idea from another PM saved from long ago but again I didn't save the name. So here is the idea: "That's a interesting idea... maybe had Krad do a brunet joke on Risa...and to get Krad's attention (and piss Krad off) Dark tells more blond jokes and while Krad is chasing Dark, Risa gets all girly and jumps on Dark causing him to fall and land on Krad. while they are on the floor Risa keeps talking about her and Dark's wedding and continues to tick Dark off, where he blurts out he doesn't like her and that the only person he'll ever love is his other half (aka Krad)." I may work a bit more of this into another fic later on. Again thanks for the ideas. I'm still a twit. T-T