71"So no clary tonight?" I ask Iz and mags while we're setting the table for their traditional Friday night supper. At that moment the door suddenly slams shut and there's a stomping up the stairs.
"Damn."
"Uh-oh."
"Speak of the devil, literally," izzy, mags and I say at the same time while glancing at each other. From a distance we can hear another door slam, which I'm assuming is Clarys bedroom door.
"Should I-" izzy starts.
"No. You two finish here and I'll go check on her," Magnus says looking disappointed.
They were expecting her to come back happy after her little rendezvous with Jace. But apparently nothing went according to plan.
"You think she's ok?"
"I hope so, she seemed excited to hang out with him earlier. I just hope nothing bad happened or I'll kill him," izzy says with venom in her voice at the thought of her best friend being hurt.
"You think he told her?" I whispered.
She glanced behind her before turning back to me shaking her head. Probably to make sure Maryse and Valentine couldn't hear us from the kitchen.
"Well, I hope you're hungry!" Valentine says cheerily as he walks in from the kitchen. "Where is everyone?"
"Upstairs. Simon, get the boys? I'll get Clary and Magnus."
Before I could reply, izzy rushed upstairs before Valentine or I could blink. I gave him a short nod before making my way up the stairs myself.
CLARYs POV
"Clary?" I heard the door open as Magnus stepped through not waiting for a reply. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah-no. I don't know," I growled in frustration.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Not really, I just want to be alone for a minute."
"Well dinner-"
"Hey guys, dinners ready," Izzy says walking in and shutting the door behind her.
"I'm not hungry," I mumble staring back out my window.
"Clary, what happened? Do I need to help bury any bodies sometime soon?" Izzy asked coming to sit next to me. I actually laughed because a few minutes ago, I wanted to kill Jace.
"It's just, i-Jace, well he-" I couldn't summon up the courage because I wanted to cry. I don't know why I was so against going to prom with him-actually I do. It brought back memories of freshman year that I didn't want to think about. At a time where I began to shut people out, and avoid any and everyone. I hate that Sebastian's actions still dictate my own reactions from so long ago. That pig, that asshat that-
"Clary, you're starting to worry me," Magnus interjected, probably due to the look on my face.
"He asked me to prom," I whispered.
"And thaaats-"
"Bad?" Izzy finished. "I don't understand, why is that so-"
"I don't want to talk about it." Magnus nodded to me while Izzy actually looked hurt. "Look I'm sorry. But I don't want to talk about it. Not yet."
Izzy just huffed and Walked out slamming the door behind her. Magnus stood reaching his hand out to help me up.
While at dinner I stayed pretty quiet the entire time. My dad and Maryse both tried to ask if I was alright, but gave up after only getting nods from me. Since dinner was at our place, and my dad did a majority of the cooking, the girls all cleaned up afterwards, including Magnus. Maryse and mags carried on most of the conversation, while Izzy pretended that I was invisible. I didn't mind, at least not too much. It hurt, and I know I need to tell her, but I just couldn't yet. I didn't know how, and I don't know if she'd understand me. But I knew I had to try and soon.
"So do you kids plan on going to prom?" Maryse asked us all.
"Well I know I won't be going, no matter who asks me, I'll just be locked up the way jon and Alec have always wanted me to be," Izzy replies sounding utterly pissed.
"I don't know why you girls let them control you so much, you know-"
"You don't understand Mom. They'll make my night miserable. They'll play chaperone and follow me around all night, they'll tell embarrassing stories about me, they'll taunt my date-"
"Date huh? So who asked you?" Maryse asks excitedly.
"Well, Sebastian ya only hinted so far b-"
"You're not going to say yes are you?" I asked suddenly, not able to stop myself.
"What's it to you? It's not like I'll get to go anyway because you'd rather stay home, and if you aren't there, I won't be able to be there."
"Izzy-"
"No Clary! It's senior year! One prom won't flippin kill you! But you're just too selfish to-"
"Isabelle!" Maryse interjected.
"Ladies," Magnus says.
"Quit blaming me for the fact that you can't find other things to do besides wanting to party and date guys!" I shouldn't have said that and I know it because Izzy is more than a sister to me and she's always been there, and what she said was so very true.
"You, I cannot believe you," she steps towards me. "Through everything, all that I've sacrificed throughout our high school years," she steps forward with Maryse grabbing her arm and Magnus standing in front of me. "I've never left your side! I've always been by your side because no one should be left behind, not any of us, and I have always supported you no matter what! When people tried talking behind your back, when anyone ever tried to bad mouth you, whenever anyone tried to criticize your attitude, your style, or just how you've changed! I've never ever let anyone hurt you! I've always been there! And so what if I did or didn't say yes, so freaking what Clarissa!" She stood there staring at me with tears of anger in her eyes, staring me down, and I didn't even realize it, but I had slowly backed into the counter as she'd made her way towards me.
"There are things you won't understand-"
"Then explain yourself!" She screamed.
"Whoa, whats-" jon starts as he walked in the door.
"Iz-" Alec says reaching out for her.
"Girls?" My Dad says quietly as if we were glass about to shatter.
"Is everyone ok?" Simon asks dumbfounded to see the position we're all in. Maryse now holding Izzy back while Magnus looks prepared to take a hit that would be meant for me, not that Izzy would ever strike me. Although right now, I'm not too sure she wouldn't try. Alec slowly made his way to his very pissed off sister and reached out for her wrist, while I suddenly felt jon grip mines at the same time. The only difference, I turn into my brothers embrace while she yanks away and storms out of the house, slamming the front door on her way out. As they all look to me for answers that I can't give them, I turn away ashamed that I've acted the way I had today, towards Jace and toward Izzy. But, I know I can at least fix one of these problems, and I'll be damned if I let that twat unknowingly control my decisions anymore.
JACE POV
"Jace, is that you sweety?"
"Yeah gran, it's me. I've got a surprise for you!"
"As much as I love surprises, you know how I feel about you spending on silly- oh, oh my dear boy. You look just like your father," she says tearing up as she takes in my combed hair and suit. "What's the occasion that's got my grandson looking exceptionally handsome, or who's the girl?"
"Graaaaan-"
"Come now, spill. Entertain an old woman!" She laughs and by god, I feel everything start to come out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"Well, I've asked someone to prom. I really like her, but I feel horrible because of the circumstances that have put me in her path. And she didn't even say yes, but I'm hoping to at least possibly show up on her doorstep dressed for the occasion and that maybe she'd change her mind because I really like her, and I know she likes me too. I mean just to get her to pay me any mind, I've literally embarrassed myself, but I mean she's just so beautiful, and not just how she looks, but her mind, her charisma, she comes off so angry and mean, but once you get past that, she truly and beautifully unique. It just makes me feel worse and worse the closer we get because that jerk Sebastian, I should have never gotten involved with him. I want to come out and tell her everything, but I know she'll hate me forever if I do. But she's going to hate me regardless because I know these types of things always get found out. Whether it's by the end of the year, next year, when we graduate college, no matter what, I know I have to tell her the truth, but I'm, I'm-"
"Scared?" She finishes for me. At some point during my rant, I ended up sitting right next to her on the couch, and without realizing, I had my hands in hers, in a pleading way. I nod, after a moment of silence, and she nods back. "You know, it sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a jam there. You really like this girls don't you?" I nodded. "And this Sebastian, friend?" I shook my head. "Oh, um, are you two-"
"What? Oh gran! No!" I laugh incredulously.
"Well define what you meant by getting involved, he's not dealing you drugs right?" This woman could go from loving And worried, to defensive and protective real quick. I just laugh again and shake my head. "Well, how does he play a part in all this? Is he the boyfriend?" I shake my head again, but how are Clary and Sebastian involved? What happened in their past to make them so hateful toward each other?
"He's uh-Well you see, it wasn't supposed to happen this way. I didn't think I'd develop feelings-"
"For the girl?"
"Yes gran. I only like girls. So let's get that clear," I say laughing. "Gran, I messed up. I-Well in the beginning, Sebastian approached me and offered to pay me if I could get said girl to go on a date with me. I didn't take him seriously at all at first. But after he and someone else had brought to light the idea of being near her, I was intrigued by her, and wanted to get to know her better. I also took the money right from the start, knowing that it was wrong. But I did ask her to prom earlier, and she completely freaked out on me, and now I think whatever relationship we may have had, may be over now. What do I do?" I look at her sadly.
"I never thought I could be disappointed and proud of you at the same time," she says thoughtfully. "But, you do need to tell her the truth. As soon as you can. Don't let her fall for you in the midst of your lie. Explain yourself, and go from there. She seems heavily guarded, and I'm sure that boy Sebastian has something to do with it. Now, go get cleaned up, our casserole is almost ready."
"You're right gran. I'm sorry I've disappointed you. But I'll do my best to make it right. I promise."
CLARYs POV
I knew I screwed up with Izzy, and I knew I had to tell her what was really going on. Alec is the only one who actually knows, and that's only because he's the one who found me that night on the side of the road crying. It's time I muster up the courage and tell Izzy. I walk into their home, fully aware that we're the only two here because I left everyone back at my house, probably still reeling from the events that just took place. Standing in front of her bedroom door I'm not sure if I should knock or just walk in. I go for the latter, and watch Izzy as she lies on her bed, music blaring from her iPod Dock.
"Come in," She says sarcastically sending my presence. I enter and sits down on the bed next to her as she mutes the Music.
"Listen, I know you hate having to sit home because I'm not typically an outgoing person."
"Like you care."
"I do care. But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, not someone else's."
"I wish I had that luxury. Even if Sebastian asked me, I can't go, because you won't." I clear my throat and take a deep breath. Sebastian hasnt told you about when we went out, has he?" "What?"
"Nearing the end of 9th grade, for a little over month."
Izzy stares at me in shock.
"Why?"
"Why I went out with him? He was, like, a total babe, and had actually seemed like a decent guy.
"But you hate Seb," she replies still thoroughly confused.
"Now I do. Back then, was a different story."
"Go on," she says skeptically.
"He had asked me to go to an end of year party with him. And I felt like I was ready for everyone to know about us, so I agreed. I was anticipating the look on jon and Alec's faces thinking about it. You and your mom had plans and invited me, but I said I wasn't feeling well, do you remember?" She nods so I continue. "so I snuck that night, and we headed to the party. But we never made it. He had pulled over into an orchard and began to make out with me, but he started to get too handset, and I pushed him off. He got out of the car, and played the 'hurt card' as if I was actually hurting his feelings or something. I got out to follow him and asked what was wrong, and he said he wanted us to be each other's firsts. I tried to sooth him, because i actually gave a damn, but he began kissing me again, and had forcefully lifted me to the hood of the car. Before I knew it that heated make out session turn into something a little more, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I explained that I wasn't ready, and he backed away from me and got back in the car. I went to get back In as well but he locked the doors, put it in reverse and left me there."
"He did what?"
"I was so embarrassed, and sat there for awhile crying to myself. I walked home, and Alec just so happened to be on the road about 2 miles from here and gave me lift. I told him what happened and begged him to keep it a secret," she doesn't need to know Alec's secret yet. He and Magnus were together that night, and because I found out about him, I was ok with telling him about Seb. "The next day I showed up at Seb's house and I told him that he was pathetic for what he'd done just because I wasn't ready. He tried to apologize and get me to come in, but I refused and told him that maybe we should take a break. He got pissed and just broke up with me." Izzy stares at me, dumbfounded. "After that, I swore I'd never do anything because "everyone else" was doing it, whether it was parties, dating, school functions. And I haven't since. Except for Jordan's party, and my stunning table dance display.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't think you'd ever be attracted to him like that. Especially with his egotistical demeanor. Plus I was just too embarrassed about what had happened because I felt like such a fool."
"If you really thought I could judge you over something like that, why are we even friends? You should have let me know what had happened with him, instead of letting me blush like a damn fool when someone like him flirts with me and instead of helping Our brothers hold me hostage."
"That's not," I begin as I stand up slowly.
"I'm not stupid enough to have not believed you over him or anyone else for that matter!"
"I guess I thought I was protecting you, while I was protecting myself.
"This is so messed up. I can't believe you Just kept me locked away in the dark, so In turn I can't experience anything for myself!"
"Not all experiences are good, Izzy! You can't always trust the people you want to."
"Yeah, you've made that abundantly clear."
"I should have told you Iz and I am so sorry that I didn't."
"We've always told each other everything," she says tearing up.
"I'm so sorry! I was just so embarrassed and humiliated, and I just shut down!" I say as I begin to cry. She stands up and hugs me to my surprise. We stand there for awhile, just holding on to each other before begins to speak again.
"So, I am still trying to be understanding as to why you never talked about it, but how has Sebastian not said anything, or bragged about it in any way? Especially when he taunts you."
"Well we didn't ever have sex, but I mean, we've felt each other up a time or two, and I told him that if he ever spoke about the last month and half, I'd start a rumor of not only how small his 'pride' actually was, but that I'd tell everyone that he liked to be tickled from behind. I was pretty venomous that day, and well it worked."
"Was it that small?" She asked giggling.
"Let's just say the term pencil dick has a new meaning," I reply laughing along with her.
"Oh thank God!" Magnus cheers waltzing in. "I didn't mean to intrude-"
"Yes you did," we reply at the same time.
"But I was so worried that you two were going to need to be pulled apart again!"
"How much did you hear?" Izzy asked.
"All of it," He replies as he sprawled out on her bed. We glance at each other nervously. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," we sigh in relief. "But I cant say the same for them." He points at jon and alec, who is the only one who knew, and Simon.
"Shit, Jon-"
"Don't worry, I get it. I'm pissed, but not at you or Alec, but I'm pissed that I wasn't there for you at a time like that," he says as he walked to me to hug me. "I'm going to kill him."
"He's not worth! Never was never will be, so let it go. It was so long ago anyway," I plead. He nods his affirmation and we all stand around slightly awkward til Izzy blurts out the last thing on my mind.
"So, Jace asked you to prom huh? Are we going?" She smiles at me mischievously as jon and Alec facepalm with a sigh, and Magnus claps exictedly, and Simon, well he just looks so out of place and uncomfortable at this moment that I gotta help him out here.
"Well I may have been asked, but do you even have a date yet?" I ask Izzy smiling slyly at Simon, who blushes big time as all eyes in the room are on him.