Another sad, sad oneshot to add to my collection of sad oneshots. This one is inspired by a brief moment between Angel and Collins in the 20th anniversary production of RENT, which I had the unbelievable privilege to go and see last night. If it's in your area, I would definitely recommend that you try and get tickets, because it's incredible. I sobbed my heart out, despite knowing the whole plot backwards. It was that well done.

Alright, enough gushing from me. Enjoy the fic!


Collins has already felt his heart break tonight, more than once. Once when he rang the hospital, and caught sight of the betrayed, terrified look in Angel's eyes, as she stood in the doorway, shaking her head and mouthing no, no, no. Once, when he was helping her change into a hospital gown: the sight of her wasted body and the ugly lesions was enough to bring tears to his eyes because how the fuck has it gotten this bad without me noticing?

He feels a third, deeper crack lance itself across his heart when his baby, through the agony, through the weight of the fever and the drugs meant to lower it, she smiles at him. It's a ghost of her usual dazzling grin, her lips cracked and pale, but it's no less beautiful for that.

"Don't worry about me, honey," she whispers, gripping his hand tightly. Her nails, usually flawlessly manicured, are chipped. Another detail that's escaped his notice. "Don't you worry. I'll be okay."

He feels a fourth break when he realizes that she's lying.

"Visiting hours are over, Mr Collins." A nurse, standing a respectful distance away. Her eyes are full of pity, and he hates her for that. Pity is not what he wants. Pity is what they offer you when they've run out of hope.

"Give me a second." He gropes in the pocket of his leather coat, pulls out her red lipstick. "Can't leave you here looking less than your best, can I?" Angel giggles huskily, and pouts for him as he shakily applies the make-up. When he's through, he kisses her hot brow, to save her from smudging it. He draws back, reluctantly, still holding her hand. She smiles up at him once more.

That's the smile he knows.

And, the fifth and final break, the one that shatters his heart completely and sends every shard scattering through the gaps in his ribcage, is the realization that he might be seeing it for the last time.


Short and not-so-sweet, but I had to get something out there after last night. My love for this amazing show has been rekindled, so here's hoping I'll be able to come up with some more new ideas soon. Anyway, feedback is what I crave, so if you've anything to say at all, let me hear it!