Two and a Half Men
Season 5, Episode 3
"Where are we?"
Ruby asked as she just awoken to see herself and team in a row of chairs along with team JNPR and she was really confused as the rest woke up.
"Do you guys have any idea what happened?" Yang asked her friends as she turns on her guard.
"I can answer that"
Everyone looks up to see a figure in a cloak that covers his appearance as he descends down to the two teams.
"Who are you!" Weiss demanded as she tries to obtain her weapon, but finds it missing along with the rest of her friend's weapons.
"Hold on there. No need for hostility. Just give me a moment to explain what's going on" the being spoke as everyone calmed down a bit but were still sceptical.
"I am sorry for the sudden change from your normal lives but you guys have been chosen to view alternate universes but be warned you have to realize is that some of them may be bad or scary; but it does not mean it will become your life. Do not worry about people back in your universe; I plan on bringing some of your friends here when a clip involves them and until then: enjoy yourselves"
The being ascends as the others take in what the cloaked figure said and were all flabbergasted.
"Also, I assume you'll want some food and drinks, so I pulled some strings and have the room magically fix food for you. Happy viewings"
With that final note; the being finally disappears and leaves the room silent for a few moments.
"We can't really believe this right?" Jaune ponders as he takes in what he just heard.
"I mean the evidence is all there. The only thing we can do is believe him or be stuck here stranded with no possible way out" Blake deduces as she comes out of her shock.
"Blake is right; we don't have a choice here really" Ren pointed out as he already searched for any possible ways of escape but couldn't find any.
"Even if we did have a way to escape, no one here wants to take up this opportunity?" Nora asked "I mean this is a once in a lifetime deal, we should take up on it"
Everyone was processing idea and all came up with an answer.
"Nora is right; we should take up this opportunity" Pyrrah answered as she voiced everyone's thoughts.
"Then it's decided we stay and watch…without a TV?" Ruby announced and deflated as all there was in the room were the rows of chairs until a cinema sized screen appeared a few seconds later "Yay!" Ruby squealed as she sat excitedly on her seat along with everyone as the screen flares.
"Neptune, let's go" Sun called out to his roommate as he was dressed in a bowling shirt and cargo shorts.
"Wait is that Sun?" Blake asks her friends as she was confused of seeing her crush…..friend! On the big screen.
"I don't know but the bigger question is what is he wearing?" Yang states as she stifling a laugh at the gold haired Faunus' clothing choice.
"Relax we've got plenty of time" Neptune replied as he was buttoning up his shirt and walking down the hallway.
"I just don't want to be late" Sun says with somewhat worry.
Neptune senses Sun's nervousness and was flabbergasted.
"I can't believe it? You're nervous about a date"
Blake unintentionally shouted as she was faintly blushing as she didn't mean to say that out loud.
"Awwwwwww!" Both Ruby and Nora squealed out as they look at a bow blushing Blake.
"It's not like that! I mean…I was just surprised that….that that Sun had a date" Blake tried to justify her reaction but failed.
"Awwwww. Kitty cat likes monkey boy, that's so cute!" Yang teases her partner as she puts her arms around her which annoyed a now completely red Blake.
"Hey guys why is it paused?" Jaune asked everyone as they turn to the paused video.
"Your right, who paused it" Pyrrah spoke to everyone who were all confused before a tiny light appears in Jaune's hand which reveals to be a letter from the cloaked being.
'The video will pause when everyone is not focused on the screen'
When Jaune finished reading the note aloud, everyone turns to the screen as Blake silently thanks the cloaked being and Jaune.
"Of course I'm nervous! What am I going to talk to her about? I haven't been out with a 40 year old woman since High School!"
Everybody let that sink in as they turn to Blake.
"What?" Blake asked rather quietly as she was till processing that information.
Then everyone laughed.
"Hahahahaha! Sun dated a cougar!" Yang roars out as she puts her arms around Blake "You poor thing!"
"It's not like my- our! Our Sun dated a woman twice his age, it's just his inter-dimensional twin" Blake explained as everyone noticed her slip up but chose not to make light of it.
"Well I guess you're right. I mean why would Sun date an old cat while he has a young cat right here!" Yang once again joked around which now made everyone groan.
"Well Sun that's the great thing about seeing someone your own age. There's always something to talk about, because what you've been through, she's been through"
Sun looks flummoxed about Neptune's reasoning.
"Oh, I hardly think so"
"OK, point taken" Neptune complies as he goes to get his belongings "But she's a fascinating woman. She's a municipal court judge, she teaches law at UCLA…."
"Oh a judge?" Weiss now jumps in the torment of Blake "I hope that doesn't bother you too much-"
"You know Weiss? It looks to be a double date, so Neptune would also have a date as well as Sun" Blake interrupts Weiss as she takes the message and deflates in her seat in defeat….and jealousy!
"Oh man, you didn't tell me that!" Sun exclaims.
"Does that make a difference?"
"It makes a big difference. The smarter the girl, the harder it is to blow smoke up her ass!"
Everyone takes a moment to let that one sink in.
"What does he mean?" Ruby asks Yang who was trying to hold in her laugh and jokes.
"Nothing Ruby" Yang told her sister as she decides to let the jokes slide this time as she's hoping there will be more embarrassing moments after this.
As Sun spoke his issue, it only made Neptune sigh and pity his friend's problem as a moment goes by before he decided to speak.
"You know, I'm already regretting this"
"Then call it off!" Both Blake and Weiss thought as they were in distress that their love interests were going on dates with inter-dimensional strangers!
"And for good reason, let's just call it off" Sun states as he walks to the stairs.
Blake smiles but frowns when Yang see's her with stars in her eyes.
"No, no, no, it's too late for that. Just relax and, I don't know, be yourself. And by yourself, I mean someone else entirely" Neptune advised as he went up to his blonde friend.
"That does seem to be good advice" Weiss states as she knows the monkey Faunus' personality and it doesn't exactly show well in a romantic date.
"Well, as long we've opened this particular can of worms you might want to rethink the bowling shirt"
Sun looks surprised as he inspects his shirt and sees nothing wrong with it.
"Well, as I said she's a judge and a law professor. And, let's be honest…. you don't bowl!" Neptune points out as Sun looks at him and goes to the stairs.
"Wait if he doesn't bowl why does he wear it?" Ruby asks her friends who were all confused.
"I don't know may be similar to your skirts" Ren pointed out as Ruby and Weiss take offense to it.
"It's a combat skirt!" they both reply in unison as they high five each other.
"All right, I'll go change" Sun admits in defeat.
"While you're at it, why don't we go for the big-boy pants" Neptune claims as Sun looks at his shorts and goes up to change.
"At least Neptune knows what he's talking about" Jaune states "No woman wants to have dinner with a man who wears shorts on a first date!"
Everyone looks at him in shock and disbelief.
"Hey!" Jaune retorts "I grew up with seven sisters! You learn a few things!"
Sun and Neptune enter a restaurant and we see Weiss and Blake sit in a table while wearing fancy clothing.
"Hey look, it's you too" Ruby happily points out which relieves both Weiss and Blake.
"Oh, there they are" Neptune points as he heads towards them.
"Hang on, hang on, hang on. Which one's mine?" Sun stops his friend by holding his shoulders.
"The one on the right" Neptune answers as we see Weiss and Blake chatting.
Blake was now starting to blush and Yang was now starting to squeal.
"Wow, she's 40?" Sun gasps out as he looks completely taken aback by the Cat Faunus' cat ears "She has the ears of a 20-year-old Faunus"
Blake was taken aback by Sun's comment and everyone else. But then she looks up at her cat ears which was hidden by the bow and smiles at Sun's comment.
"Come on" Neptune encourages as he walks to their date
"You think she had them done?" Sun asks as they both sit down opposite the girls.
"Did you?" Yang asked but everyone chose to ignore her.
"Sorry we're late" Neptune apologized as he greets his date with a quick kiss
"Oooooooooooooooooh" RBY all squealed in unison as Weiss was blushing lightly.
Jaune felt somewhat weird but had to remind himself, he had let Weiss go.
"Sun couldn't decide what to wear"
"Oh, I think he looks very nice" Weiss complemented as she inspects Sun's clothing.
Thank the Gods he chose to wear a suit.
"Thank you" Sun replies in a cheerful tone.
"Sun, this is Weiss" Neptune introduces his best friend to his date.
"Hi, how are you?" Sun asks as he shakes her hand.
"Hi. This is my friend, Blake" Weiss now introduces her cat eared friend.
"This is it!" Blake happily thought but then stopped and thought "Why am I so happy?"
"Nice to meet you" Sun greets his date with a handshake to which she accepts.
"Nice to meet you too" Blake shakes the Monkey Faunus' hand "I've heard a lot about you"
"And I've heard a lot about you too" Sun responds as he and Neptune both pull out a seat and they both sit down "And, I gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised"
"Really?" Blake looked happy "How so?"
"Well, Neptune tells me you're a judge and a professor and, quite frankly, I wasn't expecting someone so….eh" Sun was at lost for words.
"Uh oh" Yang uttered as she was smiling to see what Sun would say next.
Everyone knew the monkey Faunus' personality and feelings for Blake and they were all pretty sure that this Sun Wukong was going to embarrass himself.
"Please don't say anything bad!" Blake was practically praying for things not to start badly
"So, what, Sun?" Blake was confused of Sun's answer.
"Ehm" Sun was still at crossroads and in the end he said the worst possible thing ever.
Everyone took a moment to fully sink in what Sun had said.
Everyone erupted into laughter after hearing that and Blake put her head down.
"Blake….!We're sorry….! It's just that…! Hahahahah!" Pyrrah tried to apologise to Blake but was to consumed by laughter.
"I don't care if wasn't really you, I am going to kill you Sun!" Blake thought to herself as she was going to make Sun pay for embarrassing her and her other dimensional self.
"That was wrong, wasn't it?" Sun asked Neptune as he had regret in his voice.
"Obviously!" Blake thought as she was scowling.
"Yes, that was wrong" Neptune utterly spoke with disdain.
"What I meant was, I was expecting you to be more…..More you know…Dry!" Sun tried to rectify his mistake but was making it worse "But you're not. You're actually kind of….. moist!"
Blake was not taking kindly to Sun's attempts and neither were the other two.
Everyone just kept laughing as Sun was not painting a good image of himself.
"Oh, good Lord!" Neptune mutters to himself as he looks at his hands to ignore his friend's embarrassing attempts.
"You know what? You know what?" Sun was flailing around "I think I'd like to start over. Hi, I'm Sun Wukong"
Blake decided to comply as she accepts his do-over.
"Ten Lien says that Sun messes up his do-over" Yang betted as she raised ten Lien into the air but no one was biting as it seemed obvious that Sun was going to say something stupid.
"Hi, Blake I gotta tell you, I have never met a judge before" Sun states as he goes in for a joke "You know, voluntarily"
"Oh Sun…!" Blake mutters in embarrassment as the laughing died down because it was now pathetic than funny.
Sun chuckles as Blake forces a smile.
"Better?" Sun asks his friend who only turns to him in a unsettling expression.
"Anything's better than 'moist'!" Neptune retorts as he regrets not cancelling this date.
"I'll say" Blake mutters out as everyone is feeling sorry for Sun.
Everyone wait's a moment as they read over their menu. But as expected Sun breaks the ice.
" So how do you and Weiss know each other?" Sun asks Blake.
"Oh, well, we met in the church choir" Blake replies as she looks over at Weiss "Then we found our kids were in the same preschool"
"Next thing you know, we're on the carnival committee, doing the bake sale" Weiss jumps in as she reminisces her time with her friend Blake.
"Which reminds me, I'm supposed to be snack mom next Tuesday" Blake asks Weiss "Can you switch with me?"
"No problem" Weiss replies.
They both look towards their dates like nothing happened and waiting for their dates to speak.
Everyone looks at the screen and were surprised by how close knit the two were.
"Looks like you guys are besties" Ruby states as she as somewhat angry that her counterpart wasn't Weiss' bestie.
"Never mind that!" Weiss ignore Ruby's concern as she and Blake look at each other "We have kids!"
Everyone was silent for a moment.
"I mean it's entirely possible. I mean you guys are forty in this and clearly you guys can't wait that long for someone to….you know?" Nora was at a loss for words.
"Yes, but then who is the father of our children then?" Blake exclaimed as she gestured to Weiss who was too feeling sombre.
"Guys, it's just another universe, it's not you guys, so let's just move on" Ruby comforted her teammates as they both accepted Ruby's words and moved on.
"Plus, you guys can make babies with Sun and Neptune!" Yang happily joked as she puts her arms around Weiss and Blake's shoulders as they both blush furiously.
"Well it can't be that bad" they both thought as they both imagine what Sun and Neptune would be like as fathers.
Weiss imagined Neptune teaching their kid how to pick up girls and be a smooth talker which really infuriated her.
Blake imagined Sun teaching their kid how to steal and run away from law enforcement which is something she doesn't want.
In the end, the two girls were rethinking having kids with the boys.
Why they were thinking about it in the first place was beyond them?
"I got nothing" Sun admits as he continues to look at his menu.
Both girls were taken aback by his bluntness but Neptune swoops in to keep the conversation going.
"Hey, why don't we order some drinks?"
Both girls are all for it.
"Just iced tea for me" Weiss replies.
"Oh, me too" Blake states.
Neptune turns to Sun.
"Sun, do you want iced tea?"
"Why on Remnant, would I want iced tea?" Sun asks confused which made the girls glance at him.
"Because you don't drink alcohol during the daytime" Neptune sternly tells his friend with the obvious indication of 'Just be normal!'
"Wait? Sun drinks?" Ruby asks in complete confusion which only earned a shrug from her friends.
"Oh right….of course not!" Sun gets the message but not completely "Iced teas rocks, water back"
Blake put her hand across her face as she groans.
The waitress who is revealed to be Yang walks pass the four.
"Excuse me, miss?" Neptune calls for Yang as she walks to them.
"Yes, can I help…..Sun?" Yang greeted then was surprised to see the infamous Sun Wukong. Player of Vale.
Sun was surprised to, to say the least.
Blake immediately perked up at the possibility that Sun had something with her partner Yang who was currently torn from making jokes and being shocked.
"Blake? I want you to know that I have no feelings for…!" Yang looked at her friend and tried to apologize.
"Yang" Blake interrupted "I know that you and Sun have nothing going on, so I'm not mad"
"Oh? OK" Yang replies as she turns her head to the screen as she doesn't notice the scowl that the Cat Faunus was giving her.
"Oh, hey, hi!" Sun replies as Yang looks ready to kill.
"How come you never called me?"
"Uh oh!" Yang exclaims as that can never be good.
"I had no idea, that Sun can be such a player?" Ren states as that quickly got Blake to defend him.
"He isn't!" Blake defended Sun as she was fighting a blush "Trust me his is not that smooth" Blake reminisces how Sun always acts around her.
But somehow he always manages to win her over.
Sun was nervous because of his date and Neptune was dreaded because of his best friend's past making the dates worse.
Sun looks to Blake as she smiles at him in the awkward situation.
"Funny story…..Long story. Tell you later" Sun explains to Yang as he was still coloured with nervousness "Can we get four iced teas please?"
"I'll be right back!" Yang happily complies but then looks at Sun with disdain.
"Just for the record, when I get hurt by boys…I make them hurt" Yang explains as she stares at the screen "I wonder what my other self will do?"
Sun looks relieved until he looks at Blake who forces another smile.
"Yeah, you know… Church choir, bake sale" Sun paraphrases Blake's earlier words as a cover but sadly it didn't work "You may not want to drink the iced teas"
After Sun's bad first impression, behaviour, past fling and warning: everyone was less than pleased with him as the screen turns black.
After the clip had ended everyone had mixed feelings about it.
Everyone (except Blake) found Sun's actions, hilarious! But at the same time really pathetic.
Blake however was really embarrassed and wanted to crawl under a rock, after she bashed Sun's head in with said rock.
"Well that was a thing?" Yang says as she tries to clear the air.
"I will certainly hope so"
The eight look up to see the cloaked being hovering over them as he continues to speak.
"I trust you all had fun?"
"Fun?" Blake scoffed as she rises to give the figure a piece of her mind "It was embarrassing! Why did we have to watch it!"
"Oh come on Ms Belladonna, if you believe that was embarrassing than you clearly don't know what's next to come" the cloaked being replied as he continues to speak "Besides it was more embarrassing for Mr Wukong than anyone else which is why I held him from seeing this, as there are more universes where you two are together and trust me are way worse than what you just witnessed."
Everyone gasped at the figure's words and no one was feeling anything more than Blake.
"What?" she asks as she was flabbergasted at the figure's words.
"I said too much" the cloaked being turned around before he teleports "Enjoy the next scene"
Blake sat back down as she thinks over the cloaked being's words.
"So, me and Sun are together in some universes?" she thinks as she drowns out the others teasing of what they just heard but she doesn't care.
She's on Cloud 9.
Right so we're off with the first chapter and I have to clear some things up.
1) Yes I am still continuing Worlds Collide. For the readers of that fic, I am still writing it but with college and the drive to keep continuing it, I am in a bit of a rut with it. It would've been done in the summer but because of my laptop being fixed, I couldn't complete it.
2) Yes I know that this chapter was very promoting BlackSun. Originally it was supposed to be Jaune and Ren as Charlie and Alan, and Nora and Pyrrah as Donna and Linda. But I decided against it as I think Sun fit the bill as Charlie.
Now that I cleared those things up let me talk more about this fic. Yes it was inspired by Endless Possibilities For Jaune Arc by JC Of The Corn. I liked the idea and originally it was to include Jaune and Ruby being the focus but after thinking of this chapter, I decided the focus can switch around with them being in sitcoms and scenes from movies.
Also I am more open of writing Renora into this fic after I watched V4E10, it really made me feel for the characters and the ship.
Also I may have a few ideas but I need help from you guys with how to formulate them. Like which characters represent what character, so please send support my way with chapter ideas.