I come back with another chapter sooner than expected, the reviews motivated me to write and I had some time. I know the chapter is short but I'm not a big fan of long chapter and I wanted to end this one on this particular note. I hope you'll like it and that it will not disappoints you. (Once again english is not my language, so I'm sorry if there any mistakes)
CHAPITRE 2 : He wrote a book.
Rory has been staring at the words written on the blank page for a few minutes when she felt a tear flowing down her cheek. Jess wrote a book, a book about her, about them, a book he dedicated to her and to what they shared.
They may have been teenagers when they met, and their story may had been brief it felt real to her. What their shared was important to her. Even though she did love Dean it was nothing compared to what she felt for Jess.
It took her time to admit her feelings for him, mainly because she was scared of feeling them and what it could mean.
Jess entered in her life inexpectedly and she would never avow it, especially not to him but he was kind of the boy she had always dream to meet.
Jess was different, he liked what she liked, read the same books, listened to the same music, liked to trash to the same movies, he was compatible but no so compatible that he's boring. They respected each other's opinions and laughed at the same jokes. He supported her with her dreams and encouraged her to follow them.
And even if they had their ups and down, being with Jess felt good, he made her feel alive, he made her want to live her life to its fulliest.
She could have imagined a lifetime with him and once again her strong feelings for him were scaring her. She was only seventeen, she couldn't think about the future too much, that was too early.
Jess was a lost boy, he had a hard childhood and no one really made him feel important or loved, no one really cared about him until Luke. He was hidding his feelings behind a big imposing wall, not letting anyone in. And that's kinda what teared them apart.
Rory knew now that she could have listened more to him, put herself in his shoes, try to understand what he was going through.
She have had plenty of time, during those 4 years, to think about what they did wrong, what she could have done, what he shouldn't have done. Trying to find hundreds scenarios, but always came back with that same ending. She knew inside that Jess needed to leave, he needed to find himself first, and she needed to mature a little bit.
Rory closed the book and gathered all her stuffs, she needed to get out of here. She needed some air so she could breath, for a start. Once the room empty and everything packed in her hands she headed to the door, took the stairs and told everyone she had to go.
« Rory are you okay ? » Lorelai asked her as she saw her daughter ready to leave.
« Yes I'm okay, I just- I have to go I'm sorry, it was nice seeing you, I'll come back this week-end okay. Bye little brother. »
She left a kiss on her brother's head and kissed her mother and Luke goodbye.
Once in the street, she stopped for a few seconds and took a deep breath, why did a simple book had such a strong affect on her. She got back to her car and started driving.
It was now dark. Unlike most people, Rory enjoyed driving in the dark, there was something peaceful in the fact of being alone in the road, no lights to blind you. It was like commune with yourself. Even if there was music playing, it felt quiet.
She increased the radio volume and let the music consumes her.
« We let the waters rise
We drifted to survive
I needed you to stay
But I let you drift away
My love where are you ? My love where are you ? »
Even though she was currently living at her grand paren'ts house, that wasn't where she was going, she had enough stuffs with her to survive a few days. Once arrived at destination she headed to an hotel she has seen. She took the keys the employee gave her and went to the place that would be her room for the next few days.
It was a nice hotel, Richard had given her some money and she was able to afford a nice hotel. The room almost seemed like an appartment in itself, it was big and very cosy.
She made herself a bath with a lot of foam like she liked them, turned on some calm music, lighted up some candles and took Jess' book.
Once in the bath, she stared at the book for a couple of minutes, again. It was Jess' book, she was holding Jess' book. She still couldn't believe it, she knew he would do something like this eventually but she would have never tought it would be so soon.
She finally took the courage she needed to open the book to the sencond page as she had already read the first one.
[Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you're not as terrible as you think you are.
Lucy was for me that someone, she was the only person who saw me when no one else did, not even myself. She told me I could do anything I wanted, be anyone I wanted and I didn't believe her, I don't wanted to believe her.
Someday you meet someone and they change you, whetever it's for good or bad, people can have an impact on you. They can change the way you usually see things, they can make you feel things you have never felt before, and make you experience many things you have never experienced. That's the beauty of meeting new people, from new horisons, people that can complete some parts of you.
Lucy was that one person that makes you believe in love at first sight, even for the « bad boy » of the town, she was that one person that you want to spend all your time with, the only one you want to talk to.
I'm not gonna tell you how the story ends at the first page, it would take you away the desire to read it and because I would like to think that I don't know the end of this story.]
She stopped reading for a moment, collecting her thoughts. This is how Jess' started his book. She knew it was about them as he said it in the letter but she didn't expected it to be that much about them, about her.
She read Jess' words again, she felt something, something she couldn't describe, it felt like-like nostalgia.
She put her thoughts aside and kept reading.
« perhaps we'll meet again when we're better for each other. »
Rory turned the last page to make sure there wasn't another one but there wasn 't. She had just read 300 pages of words written by Jess Mariano. 300 pages about her and him and them and it was how he chosed to end the book. It felt like an non ending story, maybe the end could still be written, be changed. They never really had any closure, that was maybe why she had never been able to get over him, he hasen't even answer the phone when she kind of « broke up » with him.
As Jess' final words were repeating themselves in Rory's head, she found herself hoping, hoping that there might be a tiny chance that her story with Jess might not being over. Maybe he still loved her, maybe this book was a sign to her, maybe.
Jess had painted Rory beautifully, and she now could tell how his book had meet that much success. As a person who had read thousands of books she was in position to give a fair opinion on his work. It was- true genius, it was smart and incredibly well written. He had a particular style, it was new, it made you want to read more and more. You could understand every word with a new approche, with his own approche, it felt like you were in his world.
Rory put the book down, all she wanted to do was read it again, she wanted to call Jess and tell him how much she had enjoyed his book, how much she had loved all of it. She wanted to tell him how proud she was of him, she just wanted to see him and talk to him.
With his book she felt closer to him than she has ever felt, it was like she could now understand him, understand what he has been through, understand how he felt. And she realized that she had never placed herself in his side of their relationship.
But his book also reconnected her with herself. She realized that he knew her more than she knew herself, more than she knew him . He understood her more than she understood herself and more than she understood him.
She was missing this Rory, she was missing Lucy, she wanted to be Lucy. And it hit her.
His book was exactly what she needed at the moment. Jess, throught his book, reminded her of her dreams, of her determination. She wasn't living the life he had wished for her, she wasn't living the life she had wished for herself. She was supposed to be a new Christiana Ampour, she had always wanted to be a journalist and she had trown everything away and for what ? For a guy ? She didn't know that for sure, she had let her insecurieties got the better of her and she wasn't proud of it.
She got out of the bath and took her cell phone. She composed the number she wanted to reach and waited for a voice to pick up.
« Allo ? »
hope you liked it, please let me know if there're some things wrong with it, or your opinion I would like to know, thank you for reading.