1I don't own OUAT.
"Rubes, I cannot believe you" Emma said, laughing. She really should not have been surprised anymore. Ruby was kind of notorious for her gotta-try-everything-once behaviour. Hell, they had met when Ruby had been arrested for 'multiple incidents of public exposure' and Emma had bailed her out. Kind of should've told Emma she should've expected anything from Ruby, especially with how nonchalant Ruby had been about the whole thing ( she had really been more amused than anything , although she had never gone to jail for indecent exposure again. 'I am not boring, I do not repeat stuff like that, Ems).
Still, this was something that was unexpected even coming from Ruby.
" Oh, come on, it is a great idea!".
" How do you even think you will convince your grandma? " Emma flopped down on her bed. After a long day of bounty hunting, she was tired but she actually did enjoy talking to Ruby a lot. The almost hyperactive energy was catching and her stories were often uproarious.
" Ehm, with how much profit this is going to bring into the shop. Duh. ".
« Is there even like a demand for this kind of stuff ?".
" There is always a demand for this kind of stuff. Besides, we would only sell it in the evenings, in a back room so that we can still cater to kids and teens".
Emma snorted. " Won't the teenagers be the ones that want it the most?".
"Probably, but I am pretty sure mayor milf would have my head if I tried to sell it to teenagers, considering her son is only a couple of years away from that special age where they start drinking and stuff".
" Probably. Can't say I blame her though, kids already get into trouble without help so- ".
" Are you insinuating that I could ever corrupt our youth? "
Emma rolls her eyes, but grins a little " Didn't you- ".
" Omg, Ems let it go. Danny was only like two years younger".
Emma chuckles. Ruby is definitely pouting. " Fine, I will let it go. But only because you got dumped . For someone older".
" You being really sucky, bringing up old pains like this".
" I am sure you will live".
" Urgh. You do realize that you can literally die of a broken heart? You should not mock me, or you will feel really bad at my funeral".
" I could also die because a construction worker that is working really high loses his shoe and that shoe lands on my hand".
" uh your point being?".
" There is a lot of crazy things that could kill us. I wouldn't worry too much about it".
" You sound like some sort of philosophy mayor".
".. no I don't".
" Yeah, you kind of do" before Emma can react, she has to yank the phone away for the sake of her poor ear as Ruby yells "So are you coming?".
" To … Storybrooke" like always she hesitates before saying the name. She has known Ruby for years and she knows she can trust her but it is still a weird name. And there was that one time she searched for it and could find it nowhere. When she asked Ruby, she was told 'it is a shithole. That's why you can't find it".
« No, to Alaska ».
« No need to unleash the sass on me ».
" So are you coming?"
" I guess so. When did you – ".
" This weekend" Emma scowls a little at the phone when the words that follow are ' And because I know you are pretty much a zombie in the morning, you are allowed to arrive here in the afternoon" .
" I am not that bad".
" Yeah, tell that lie to someone who hasn't been around you in the mornings" and of course, because she is Ruby , the phone is hanged up before Emma can even react to that with (mostly fake) indignation.
Honestly.
Turns out , even if Storybrooke is non-existent on any maps and Ruby's directions are a little vague ('okay there is like a fuckton of trees and then there is a sign. Just do not turn right or left, follow the road and you will get there') at the end, Emma does find Storybrooke.
Okay, here we go. She thinks and it is kind of odd , because she has known Ruby for years and whenever Rubes wasn't globetrotting or with his grandmother, she would crash on Emma's couch so she should not be nervous. She kind of is though. Just a little.
However, she also not a coward so she gets of her car without even taking the time to calm herself down. She gets out of the car and opens the door to 'Granny's diner" and even calls out for Ruby. Whose scowl immediately changes into a bright grin as she turns around from where she is taking someone's order.
"EMMA " she yells and then barges into Emma, hugging her tight before pulling back to kiss her once.
" Is that another thing you picked up in Europe? " Emma says, laughing. Even though Ruby has always been free with touches and flirtations.
" Well, they kissed each other's kisses like three times. Sometimes? I don't know" she winks. "You must just be irresistible".
" Lucky me" Emma says drily.
" Yup" Ruby rolls her eyes and leans in so her whisper won't be overheard. "I am going to deal with whiny dude behind me. You can already sit down if you want" she pulls back again, then says in her usual voice. " Grilled cheese and hot chocolate coming up" before dragging herself back to the customer.
Emma chuckles as she sits down and watches Ruby plaster on a smile. She could have easily become an actress, had she wanted to. She smiles emptily at the guy, only to throw Emma a 'can you believe this douchebag?' look as she has her back turned to him.
Emma gives her a quick smile before Ruby turns and sashays into the part of the diner that is the kitchen. When she has dealt with Douchebag as well as some nicer customers, she sits down across from Emma and pushes the grilled cheese towards her.
" Don't choke, Ems" Ruby says , laughing at the way Emma immediately digs her teeth in and takes a very large bite from the grilled cheese.
" Hmm" Emma just groans, quickly swallowing before taking another large bite. "You are the best" she says vehemently.
"You are pretty great too" as soon as Emma is in between bites, she asks "how is Boston?".
" Okay. Bounty hunting continues to pay the rent" .
" Do you spend your sad, lonely days tackling people on the wrong side of the law or do you actually get some action" the devious look in Ruby's eyes tells Emma what exactly she means with 'action'. She rolls her eyes before swallowing. " You know the drill".
" Still with the one night stands?".
Emma shrugs. " I am not really the type of girl for anything else".
Ruby lays her hand on top of Emma's, the sadness in her eyes making Emma's skin crawl slightly. " I really hope that will change one day, Ems" she smirks slightly. "Because one night stands are awesome and all, but I really wish you could have a little more".
" I don't need more. I am fine, Rubes".
" Yeah, I know. You are Emma Swan, who is really independent and strong after a lifetime of rotten families" she squeezes Emma's hand once before letting it go.. " Just so you know though, you always have a family here, you know? One that does not suck".
" I know Ruby "she says , her voice stilted. She quickly adds. " Thank you".
" You are welcome".
Ruby lets her nearly choke on the remains off her grilled cheese for a while before offering her a napkin and pointing at her mouth. " So… " Emma says, and lays down the napkin . " what did your grandma say?".
"She is thinking about it".
Emma arches her eyebrows a little. "Seriously?".
Ruby dips her finger in the whip cream on top of Emma's hot chocolate and licks it. She is a pouting a little. "Yes. But she says the mayor needs to approve as well".
" and you think she won't".
" Have you even listened to my stories ? No way that Mills will ever approve of a coffee shop"
" Well, move to Amsterdam then" Emma teases.
It is when Ruby stiffens a little that Emma realizes she cares more than expected. Because Ruby has often ideas that are a little crazy or at least a little bit inappropriate or just not feasible and she gets really enthusiastic but often forgets about them after a while. Emma had expected this to be like that, but if the slightly hurt look Ruby gives her is any indication, it isn't.
" Sorry Rubes".
Ruby slowly starts to smile again. "It is okay" she sags a little. " I am just enthusiastic about this and it is stupid that it might all not happen because the mayor thinks it is sordid or whatever".
" Have you actually talked to her about it?"
" Not yet. But I would be really surprised if she actually approved".
" Stranger things have happened".
" Maybe" but Ruby does not look certain at all. She actually looks kind of droopy, which makes Emma shift a little and think of a better topic conversation. She is just about to ask whether the crush Ruby had been so frustrated and kind of teary about is finally not a 'shitfest waiting to happen' anymore when Ruby perks up and jumps to her feet. Emma stares after her as she half-runs towards a brunette that is buried in a large, ancient-looking book.
She smiles a little as she sees Ruby lean in , place her hand on the woman's shoulder and say something to her. The woman slowly lowers her book, gives Ruby a shy but brilliant smile. Let me guess, that's- yup. That is definitely Ruby's crush. The slightly hesitant way Ruby talks and touches says it all. She is kind of curious about what exactly is so bad about liking her( Ruby had only muttered something about gold, which Emma had distributed to her just being drunk at the time)
Emma smiles at the woman as she is pulled along by Ruby. Ruby throws an arm around her and points at Emma. " This is my lemur".
" Ehm, lemur? "the woman hesitantly asks.
" It is a nickname Rubes has for me" Emma explains, offering the woman her hand. " Emma Swan. Nice to meet you".
The woman clutches her book with one arm as she shakes Emma's hand with the other. " Belle French" she says.
Emma smiles. " Ironic name" Belle stares at her, so she explains. " Belle is French for beautiful, right ? « Emma is definitely not fluent, but she has picked up some French over the years. She doesn't even know where anymore, possibly to either pretend to be someone else or impress someone. " So the name 'Belle French' is kind of ironic considering the first part is a French word"
Belle smiles brightly. " My father was born in France , but he moved to Australia when he was pretty young".
"Ah. That explains it".
Ruby pulls Belle a little closer to her. " You did not tell me you spoke the language of love"
" And you are so very surprised by this fact? I may be a dropout, but that does not mean I hate learning stuff, you know".
" Ems. I have seen your apartment, I know you have a lot of curiosity and everything" . Yeah, that may have come out a little too intense. Emma cannot help it: almost everyone she ever meets assumes that she is stupid and/or doesn't like to read just because she dropped out of high school.
She shrugs. Ruby and Belle sit down. Emma really wants to talk about why it cannot work between the two when Ruby throws glances whenever she thinks Belle isn't looking and Belle blushes slightly as their hands brush. Then relaxes with her shoulder pressed against Ruby's.
"Ruby told me you are a bail bondsperson. It sounded- " Belle hesitates for several seconds ( Emma really needs to talk to Ruby, with how she is staring at the crunchy face Belle makes when she thinks with this bright smile) " interesting. Do you enjoy it?".
" I guess? I mean, I am pretty good at it and it pays enough so that is cool".
" Oh. Is it as dangerous as it sounded when Ruby was telling me about it? ".
" Maybe a little. But I can handle myself" .
Belle really seems interested, so Emma decides to tell one of her funnier (and weirder) stories. She is in the middle of describing how she slipped over the plate her 'date' had thrown on the floor and crashed into a group of too-pale businessmen when she sees her.
" So they gave me this lo – " she trails off, her hands freezing in the air. A woman has just entered. Her brown hair is coiffed, her brown eyes are almost scary they're so intense and Emma just knows she is the kind of woman that is a really Bad Idea. Still, she takes one look and she is sold. Damn.
" What are you- "Ruby starts, then turns around and back with a knowing smile. "The mayor. I told you she was hot, didn't I?".
" you didn't tell me she was hot enough to spontaneously combust things" Emma mutters, slowly dropping her arms and still staring at the mayor. And yeah, of course she has seen attractive women before but wow. The woman is really attractive. And wearing a perfectly fitting pantsuit, that Emma recognizes to possibly cost her entire month's salary. She is also barely looking at anyone around her, head tilted slightly.
Emma tries to stop Ruby, she really does. But she is too late when Ruby calls out " Hey, madame mayor!"
"What are you doing?" Emma hisses as the woman arches her eyebrows- fuck, that is hot too – before walking over to them.
" I need to ask her something, remember?" Ruby says, but she is smirking and there is that look she gets into her eyes before she tricks Emma into going somewhere like a fight club or whatever 'entertainment' she has found.
" Miss Lucas" the mayor says , gifting Ruby with a small but seemingly genuine smile. She nods at Belle. " Miss French".
" Hey madam mayor. How are you doing?".
" I am fine" it is kind of cute (maybe?) how Regina is obviously not the best at small talk. Emma can almost imagine her thinking 'what does she want now'… or perhaps that is her experience with Ruby's crazy plans talking. She knows the mayor has seen some of those.
" Have I ever told you about Emma?" Ruby says which is when the mayor deems to actually look at Emma. She kind of bristles at how she looks at the red jacket hanging over the seat, then smiles as there is a flash of interest as those brown eyes linger on her arms for a moment.
" Regina Mills " she says, offering her hand with that same small smile.
The hand is kind of cold as Emma takes it. " Emma Swan. Hi ".
The smile grows at Emma's awkward 'hi' and damn it she is usually far more suave around dangerously attractive women with really intense and pretty brown eyes. Not that she has ever met any that are like Regina Mills.
" I am pleased to meet you" Regina says and Emma tells herself let go off her hand, you doofus. That is the signal even as it takes three additional seconds before she actually does. Perhaps she should have taken Ruby more serious when she described Regina as 'kind of Marilyn Monroe except mixed with like an evil queen possibly and then stuck into a pantsuit" . Instead, she had laughed.
Emma finally recovers enough to give her most charming smile and say " Pleased to meet you as well. Especially after Ruby told me about you " The last part is revenge for how Ruby was smirking during Emma's awkwardness. The mayor smiles and arches her eyebrow. " Oh? I hope she has not mentioned anything scandalous".
" You do not seem like the type to cause scandals".
Regina starts to smirk slowly. " No. But miss Lucas herself causes them frequently".
"Hey!" Ruby protests
Regina chuckles. It is somewhere in between teasing and slightly cruel. "The paperwork from your latest stint was quite extensive" her smile sharpens a little. " Do remember to stay out of trouble, dear".
" Oh please, you totally enjoy it when I 'cause trouble" Ruby ways it off, sending Regina a small smirk.
" Quite the opposite, dear".
" Oh really? "Ruby leans forward, her tone slightly more flirtatious. " I remember you enjoying one of my 'scandals' quite a bit".
Emma would feel oddly and inappropriately jealous , but Regina just rolls her eyes. "In order to avoid humiliating yourself, I would stop with the insinuations miss Lucas".
Ruby pouts, but she is smiling a second later. " You're no fun".
" I will have to check my job description, but I am quite certain that 'to be fun' is not in there"
"Your job is to make your citizens happy, so basically the same thing. And it would make me happy"
" I am certain it would" Regina merely says, smiling at Ruby one last time. She turns to Emma. She smells like apples and possibly cinnamon when she leans on and slowly smiles. " Miss Swan. I do hope you enjoy your stay " and she squeezes Emma's bicep briefly before sauntering over to the counter.
Emma's eyes are still on her when she directs a question at Ruby. " Should you not have asked her about the coffee shop thing? ".
" Yeah, maybe. When she is - "
They all stare at the card that is revealed when Emma lifts her mug. 'Regina mills' it says, along with a series of numbers and , beneath that; 'I hope your taste in venues is better than your taste in jackets. Call me'
" Oh My " Ruby slowly says, staring at the card.
Belle looks mainly confused and slightly terrified. "How- how did she place it there? I never saw her hand anywhere near it!"
"GOD " Ruby nearly shrieks, turns it into a slightly less obvious thing at the last moment. Emma glares at her.
" Will you stop already?".
" I can't- I have been flirting with her forever and you what? Come into town and show her your muscles and she just- ".
" Do you not have a crush on someone else?" she almost glances very obviously at Belle, but catches herself. She really doesn't want to be murdered now that she might be going on a date with Regina Mills.
" Have you seen her? Plus, someone who is as tightly wound as her would probably be a –".
" Ruby" Belle hisses. Emma is surprised at how not-sweet her voice can sound. Ruby cowers a little, then mutters " sorry".
Emma would make a joke about how whipped Ruby is or at least give her a look, but she is too busy staring at the card. She glances behind her: the mayor is still at the counter. She glances at the card again. "Right back" she says, then slides out of the booth.
She leans on the counter, waits until Regina turns around. She looks down at the card, smirks. " I have excellent taste".
" The jacket begs to differ , dear" but the tone is more teasing than anything.
She leans in a little, lowers her voice. "Would you still think I have horrible taste if I tell you that you are my type?".
" I might be persuaded into believing you are not a lost cause".
Emma smiles. She had meant to smirk and play coy and hopefully fluster Regina (there is something about her that makes Emma really want to fluster her) but she can't help it. " So will you let me show you I am not?".
" I did offer you my card, dear" the woman points out.
Emma shrugs. " Just checking. So uh- " she hesitates, because she doesn't want to be too eager but she also really doesn't want to wait. Screw it. " are you free tonight or do the people need their mayor?".
" The people can ask someone else to solve their issues for the night".
Emma grins. " Wonderful. Should I- " .
" Eight O' clock sharp. I do not tolerate tardiness " her eyes flick to Emma's arm again before she smirks and looks into Emma's eyes. " Make sure to wear something that shows off those arms" .
And the lady has departed, coffee in one hand and take-out bag in the other. Emma watches her go with a smile that prompts Ruby to throw a balled-up napkin at her and say " The queen has stolen another heart" with a devious smile.
Emma walks over to them, says " Have fun dealing with her when she finds out you have just outed her in front of a quarter of her town" then starts to walk away. Her smile only widens when Ruby calls out "she was ogling you, I just said what was clear. No way that she can murder me for that"
Emma laughs at the insecure "right?" that is the last thing she hears. She has a date to prepare for.