Summary: Random little fic, coz I was bored and wanted to have a go at writing a Buffy fic! Buffy and Spike screw in the corner
Rating: R, just so I don't offend anyone!
Paring: X/A, W/T, B/S…or is it?
Feedback: Yes please! Please be warned: flames will be used to keep me warm and toasty.
Set: AU but around season 5
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it…yet…*manic grin* *turns to Joss Whedon who runs screaming for the hills* mwah hahaha!
Buffy and Spike are Screwing?
*The Magic Box*
"How come Buffy and Spike get out of research? What are they even doing that's so important?" Xander demanded,
"I believe they are screwing" Anya said bluntly.
They both looked to the corner where Buffy and Spike were lying, in an extremely compromising position.
"Oh. Ok. I see" Xander said and turned back to the book he was looking through, 'slime demons through the centuries' a new acquisition to Giles' library.
Dawn flounced into the Magic box tossing her overtly shiny hair and inadvertently blinding everyone in there (though of course no customers because there are only ever customers in the Magic Box when there is a plotline that concerns them.)
Xander screamed like a woman and grabbed his especially-strong-eclipse-viewing sunglasses. Anya covered her eyes; frantically looking through her tiny handbag for the pair she was sure she'd put in that morning.
"Hey guys" Dawn said in that irritatingly high-pitched voice she has, and ignoring the sunglasses that had appeared on everyone in the shop. "Where is everyone?"
Xander and Anya glanced at each other, unsure how to answer the question. They sighed and Xander began,
"Well Dawn…y…it's quite hard to explain"
"Willow and Tara have discovered bonda-" Anya said before Xander clapped his hand over her mouth and laughed nervously,
"Ha ha ha! Ha! They have discovered…bonda…bonda…BONDS! They're at the store right now, buying some bonds to…to tie up the demons we want to… question!" Xander blurted out slightly too loudly. Even Buffy and Spike struggled up from the floor to stare at him in disbelief
"Nice going…" Anya said as she poked him in the ribs. Xander smiled nervously at her and Anya patted his hand as Dawn did her best to look confused (and pouty.) Giles loomed out of a dark corner making everyone jump (and causing Buffy and Spike considerable pain in doing so)
"I think what Xander was so ungraciously trying to say, is that Willow and Tara are otherwise engaged, and that I was merely lurking in the background, as I like to do. Buffy and Spike are… well… see for yourself" with that he turned and walked back into the surrounding gloom polishing his glasses as he went. (Which was odd seeing as he was wearing sunglasses already to keep the blinding shine of Dawn's hair from well…blinding him…)
Dawn turned and realised there were more important things that her going on in the room. She gasped and quickly averted her eyes,
"Oh my God! I didn't even know they were… you know… wow… how did they get in that position? I didn't even think that was possible!"
Xander looked over once more and shuddered,
"Well she's the slayer and he's a vampire, they have *different* ways of doing things…Dawn, it's probably best you don't look, some things are better left unseen…"
Dawn shrugged and turned back to the 'group.'
"Kay. So what's going on? Any demons? Anything at all?" Anya and Xander shrugged back at her, and turned to the books they were looking through,
"Just your regular fanged, pointy eared demons. We'll find them," Xander said casually.
Dawn plonked herself down next to Xander, pressing herself as close to him as possible,
"So…Xander, would you show me how to do that?" she asked pointing at Buffy and Spike.
"Hell no! You're far too young for that kind of thing." He unstuck himself from her side and moved to the other side of Anya, on the pretence of getting another book.
At this point Tara and Willow walked in, in full leather gear.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" Willow asked casually as she attempted to sit down at the table, and realised that the leather was to stiff to sit in. Tara looked cautiously around the room with her head ducked down, like she does, when she suddenly noticed Buffy and Spike
"What in the name of the Goddess are they doing?!" she cried out in horror (which was rich coming from a woman dressed in a leather mini skirt and a leather bikini top)
Willow looked round and saw Buffy and Spike in the corner
"Thank Goddess they've finally done it" she said, obviously relieved.
The others turned to her with a look of disbelief on their faces
"What?" Willow said innocently "that new floor's been waiting to be screwed down for ages!"
Yes yes I know it's cheesy! But funny… right? Right? Come on people, give me some credit here! Oh alright then, I'll settle for mildly amusing :D
Dork with a Fork