Robert Muldoon was not a man to be trifled with. For years he had plied his trade as a big game hunter in Kenya, utilizing every scrap of his savage cunning and imposing physical frame – as well as his arsenal of highly explosive weaponry – to outsmart, outmanoeuvre and outexplode some of the mightiest and most dangerous creatures known to nature. He was normally as patient as a stone and would spend hours, even days at a time rooted to the spot, silently waiting for his quarry to show up so that he could decorate his lion skull cabin with more lion skulls. Nonetheless, today his patience was wearing thin. "It's this bloody island", he thought to himself. Ever since he'd accepted the job at InGen working at their new tourist attraction, he'd been effectively confined to the role of construction overseer – an occupation wholly at odds with his hands-on-heads-off personality – and he couldn't deny he was beginning to feel restless.
Just as he was contemplating a change of career, his self reflection was cut off by a loud, metallic "CLANG!" as the final pylon was hauled into place atop the heavy-duty maximum security enclosure being erected behind him, reminding him that it had been a long, long time since he'd been involved in erections of a more personal nature. Absently, he adjusted his crotch as he picked up his radio and signalled to the foreman that the enclosure was ready for it's occupants. Hoisting himself up onto a platform above the solid metal gate, he looked out over the large, tropical forest surrounding him and began to wait for the transport cage to arrive. The forest itself was of the lush green palm variety normally associated with small islands located off the coast of Costa Rica, and was superbly lit by a completely dark night sky – almost as if some celestial lighting assistant had had a hand in it somehow.
"Hola, Senor Muldoon!" one of the workers called up to him as they passed by. Muldoon peered at him, trying to make out who it was. "Oh yes," he thought as recognition set in, "that'll be young Joffrey". Joffrey was one of the few men on the island who never really got credited for anything, one of those men that InGen CEO John Hammond constantly referred to as "Our delightfully expendable workforce". Muldoon nodded curtly to young Joffrey, making sure to maintain eye contact for slightly longer than was socially acceptable. Joffrey smiled back coquettishly and gave him an almost effeminate wink. Wiping his mouth slightly, Muldoon once more adjusted himself and went back to surveying the surrounding area, trying very VERY hard not to think about how long it had been since he'd given his rifle a good cocking.
After what seemed like an eternity atop the platform but was really only a couple of seconds give or take a second or two, a mighty roar sounded out across the acres of thickly carpeted wilderness. One by one in the distance, trees began to crash to the floor as if some massive reptilian behemoth were charging towards them. "About bloody time!" Muldoon thought to himself as the bulldozer finally emerged from the overgrowth, pushing a large steel box before it. Quickly, he motioned to the other workers to help him get the enclosure door open as the bulldozer pulled up to the side and lowered the crate with a loud THUMP. "Alright now," he shouted, "pushers move in! Loading team move it! Come on, come on!"
The movement of the crate however, had clearly angered its occupant. A mighty shriek and a series of loud, high pitched roars emanated from the slats on either side of the crate as a large yellowish and distinctly non-human eye peered out menacingly. The creature snapped and growled and began to hurl itself against the side of the cage, startling the workers who retreated back a few steps. Now THIS, Muldoon reflected, THIS was more like it! Angry, dangerous animals wanting nothing more than to tear him apart – THIS was the kind of job he could get his teeth into! Whether it was due to the previous six months or so of utter boredom, or whether it was some other dark impulse Muldoon never knew, but almost without thinking he covertly loosened the bolts on the door to the cage, taking great care to ensure no one saw him do so.
"Alright, steady…" he said to the other workers, "Get back in there now, PUSH! Get back in there! Don't let her know you're afraid…"
Gingerly, the other workers approached the cage and with great effort managed to push it up against the open slot on the side of the enclosure. As it thudded against the side, a green light flicked on indicating that contact had been made. Oh, how Muldoon longed for contact! He smiled to himself. As long as the bolts on that cage door were secure, no amount of throwing itself against the side would allow the animal to escape! Quickly, he checked to make sure they were sufficently loose. "Well locked!" He cried, "Loading team, step away. Joffrey – raise the gate!"
Quickly, Joffrey clambered on top of the cage and began to do as he was told. He knew all too well what manner of creature they were dealing with, and he didn't want to waste any time getting it securely behind those twelve-foot thick concrete walls lined with high voltage electric fences. As he leaned forward to grab the gate release, however, the creature made it's move! With a loud shriek it threw itself against the panel next to the bolts Muldoon had loosened, ripping the door from it's hinges and knocking the cage back, sending Joffrey crashing onto the unforgiving jungle floor below and jarring every bone in his body! Howling in triumph, the creature shot out a brown, scaly limb and sunk a vicious, sabre-like claw into the workman's fleshy ankle, tearing through the muscle and bone and locking itself firmly in place. Joffrey screamed at the top of his lungs as he was dragged forcefully back inside the cage, powerless to resist the creature's superior strength.
Muldoon suppressed an excited grin as he immediately began to shout instructions to the panic-stricken construction crew. "Tasers, get in there goddamnit! You there – " he motioned to one dumbstruck engineer, "Bring me four tranq rifles, a vial of nerve toxins and a camera goddamnit! And make sure it's a bloody video camera this time!"
Joffrey howled in terror as his efforts to stay put failed. Unable to break the creature's hold he cracked his head brutally against the side of the cage and lost all ability to resist as his senses became groggy. A rank odour of decaying meat and faeces lined the air of the cage and it was all he could do to suppress his gag reflex the way his gym teacher had taught him. As his head cleared slightly he was able to make out the dreadful beast which had just snared him. Standing almost eight feet high, with mottled brown and green skin and rows of curved, serrated teeth was Velociraptor Antirrhopus: a killing machine of almost unsurpassed intelligence, lethality and sexual appetite. It's long forearms ended in five muscular digits, each sporting an intimidating-looking claw. It leered at him wickedly, and Joffrey knew his end was nigh.
Strangely enough though, he didn't really mind! While Joffrey would have preferred not to die, this prehistoric jack the ripper was somehow the most beautiful creature he had ever seen – from her lustrous amber eyes to her graceful, prehensile tail – all the way to her muscular thighs and smooth, curvy footclaws. It would be an honour to be ravaged by such a...a…goddess! Blissfully and with complete disregard for his mutilated ankle and gashed open head, he reached out and smiled at the creature as she reared up and opened her jaws…
By now the activity outside the cage had reached 'pandemonium' status. Frightened workers ran around like headless compys trying to find a way to secure the cage and free their colleague. In a state of calm bliss, Muldoon strode over to the radio and casually informed the Jurassic Park control centre that they were ready for the other raptors now and also while they were at it perhaps a few crates of strong alcohol and some women's clothing. Almost trembling with anticipation but remaining outwardly stoic nonetheless, he loosened his belt and struck a match to light his pre-coital cigarette with. Six damn months! Well NOW he was going to get some release! Grabbing the side of the broken cage, he hauled himself up and peeked through a gap in the roof to see how things were progressing.
The velociraptor had parted her jaws and looked about to strike, but suddenly she seemed to stop as if unsure of herself. Joffrey was confused – why hadn't this hot cretaceous babe mauled him like the filthy descendant of a wretched shrew-like thing that he was? Why was he not being lovingly absorbed by the digestive system of this perfect, carrion-scented aphrodite? Almost as if he dared not speculate, he glanced up at her, still expecting the final strike that would end his sexually confused mammalian existance – and saw at once that it would not come. Her eyes were still marked by a ferocious hunger, but it was not for shredded meat she seemed to slaver – she clearly wanted the meat intact! Joffrey couldn't believe his luck! Slowly, she backed away from him, then coyly turned around so her bird-like hips were on full display mere inches from his face. From this angle, he could see her smooth, hairless slit. As he began to drool, she started to shake her hips from side to side seductively, delicately spraying him with gallons upon gallons of dinosaur sex pheromones she had in some gland that all velociraptors had but that didn't get fossilised with the rest of them because it was too soft somehow. Cautiously at first, lest he somehow alarm her or turn her off, Joffrey began to lightly rub the area around her velocigina with his chin, nuzzling the rough, pebble-like folds of skin surrounding it with his tongue. The creature howled with a terrifying, primordial delight and thrust herself back against Joffrey's mouth, knocking out his front teeth and ramming his lower jaw deep inside her. "GRKHLONNGGGGHKGFLFGLGLUMMMPH!" Joffrey whispered seductively as he continued to work his magic on her with his mouth parts, delicately teasing her harsh, sandpaper-like clitoris as he did so."
From his vantage point on top of the cage, Muldoon could see that things were progressing far better than he ever could have hoped for! "YOU THERE!" he shouted at the engineer again, who had returned with the equipment he had been asked to retrieve. "Get up here and set that video camera up! The rest of you, find some bloody tasers!"
The velociraptor continued to bellow and howl and echo her savage predatorial joy across the construction site as Joffrey brought her halfway to climax. With one exaggerated movement, she threw her hips violently to one side, dislodging Joffrey's lower jaw from her deep hot minge and hammering him against the side of the cage. Winded, he collapsed to the floor, his face a brutal looking mess of blood, bone, flesh, dinosaur sex pheromones and primeval vaginal juices. The velociraptor was a merciless predator, but she was not a selfish lover! It was time to reciprocate. As Joffrey lay battered on the cage floor barely able to move, she approached him and lightly rested her perfectly-shaped foot on his crotch. Even through his dislocated muscle, she could feel the bulge! She grinned, as all velociraptors are pretty much forced to do because of their bone structure, and with one deft flick of her curved toe claw she tore through the lining of his pants and exposed his engorged, throbbing, member. Joffrey mumbled with ecstasy through his maimed features as the creature appraised him. She was mildly disappointed at the lack of insemination barbs on his manhood, but she had come too far now – invested too much time – to stop the process this close to completion. Wrapping her tail around his waist, she pulled him to his feet and slammed herself back against his erect cock, moaning wickedly as it pushed apart the sides of her opening and entered her. Little bubbles of pleasure formed in the red-black foam on Joffrey's mouth as she forced herself further back, taking him deep inside her.
On top of the cage, the camera was nearly ready. Muldoon could take no more! Whipping off his safari shorts and pulling out his very own 'big game', he wrapped his hands around it and began to rythmically jerk off as the confused and terrified engineer pointed the camera where he was told to!
"Ohhhhhh that's right, get it all on tape, allllllll on tape", he groaned as he energetically pumped his purple shotgun.
The velociraptor was grinding and bucking back against Joffrey with terrifying savagery now, and she could feel the warmth beginning to build up in her nether regions as his rod-hard dick slammed in and out of her orifice. Fervently, she rocked against the side of the cage, ignoring Joffrey's impassioned gurgling noises as she brought herself closer and closer to a meteoric climax.
"Keep shootinggggg", Muldoon moaned as he prepared to do some shooting of his own. "SHOOT HER! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT HEEEEERRR!"
Finally the raptor could take it no more! Squealing as if she intended to drown out all other sounds that had ever been made by anything in the history of ever she came hard and fast, her vaginal walls constricting around Joffrey like a vice as wave after wave of putrid velociraptor love tabasco squirted everywhere, dousing the floor and walls of the cage in a layer of horribleness half an inch thick. Joffrey screamed in agony as his frail warm-blooded member was crushed by this merciless barrage, and tried desperately to pull out of her, but it was too late. In a final act of climax she spun around again, taking him with her and cracking his spine in two. Acting on pure instinct, she sank her powerful jaws into the sides of his skull and bit down hard, ripping his head clean in half and scattering flesh and blood everywhere. As her teeth entered his brain, they triggered his pleasure and pain senses, sending him at once into the most disturbingly intense agony a human being can possibly experience and bringing him to such heights of ecstasy as humankind can only dream of. Then he died.
Then, as she wolfed down what had once been the greater part of a young man's head, her body was racked by more uncontrollable spasms! She writhed and flopped over the cage, all movement out of her control as the by now rallied workers fired taser shot after taser shot through the cage door, each one making contact with her and sending powerful electric shocks through her body. A sound not dissimilar to that of a former Kenyan gamekeeper ejaculating emanated from the cage roof above, and as she spasmed on the floor she could feel a sticky, warm liquid trickle onto her from above.
"OhhhhhhYEStheyshouldallbedestroyed!" Muldoon groaned to himself as he shot his load through the hole in the cage roof and sank happily to his knees.
As the workers continued to shock the velociraptor into submission a low rumbling noise was heard. "Oh, jolly good!" Muldoon thought to himself. "Sounds like the others are on their way"! Excitedly, he pulled his shorts back up and rallied the remaining workforce. "Come on you lot", he declared, "one down… seven more to go".
From that day forward, working for InGen didn't seem nearly so bad…