2Well, here it is, time to make the decision, one I could never, ever take back, standing in front of that smiling skeleton in that light-gilded hall.
But I'm already past that point, aren't I. I can't exactly turn back now, can I? This path is too far run, and run down at that. I can't go back up that hill; it's so steep and I am so close to the bottom. Actually, it's more like a cliff with ledges. Every time I inanely decide that it would be a good idea to jump, I fall down some more and I can't go back up. That's what murder really is in the end, just a big cliff that keeps going down.
But I'll admit, after I got over the first few murders, everything became easier and easier, to detach myself from my emotions, to see the people around me more and more of as a "thing" and less of as a person with hopes and aspirations. Their dreams, their bodies that can turn so easily to dust with a flick of my knife. It gets easier and easier every time, almost to the point that I don't have to think about the act of my hacking and slashing while I drain the life out of their bodies. I no longer hear their wails, their cries, their pleading for MERCY, no, I only now hear the song of my blade cutting the air and the music of blade so easily parting flesh and bone.
I suppose it's only when I stop to think, to really think about it, whether I should continue or not that I have all this time for self-reflection. I suppose, looking back on it the perfect puzzle that is a mind, my mind, had started to change the moment I slashed for the first time with that stick and with that toy knife. My puzzle started to change, to better get used to murder. My senses, my reaction time, my strength, my speed, my everything started changing to better fit my newfound actions. But with all of these changes, something has to give. My emotions, my compassion, they no longer fit; the pieces now being too different from this new puzzle to find a hold anywhere. So they were shoved out of this new puzzle, floating around, unused. My new puzzle, fitting together ever so snugly, it was Stronger, better, faster; I could think and act with much more ease and confidence than I ever could've before! What was the loss? So caught up in this euphoria, I never noticed the loss of these connections. Once the high died down though… how didn't I notice? How did I not see that something was wrong, missing? But it didn't matter anymore, why should I care? I shouldn't, I couldn't, not even if I wanted to. But I didn't want to anymore; I just didn't want anymore.
Like a train I suppose, I just kept chugging, going on this long and winding path. I thought I could, be wipe out everyone in this land, that is. And because I could, I had to. Chug chug chug, slice slice slice, I kept going forward.
On my demented way down this track through this underland, I came to see what beauty, harmony, Peacefulness that these people had. Even though they had all been given the short stick of life, been forced to leave their home, they were happy here. Well, maybe not happy here, but happy together. I know they all had the desire to live back up there, on the surface, but as long as they held together, they could make do and live contentedly. I wonder if I had noticed the beauty of this all, if I would've set foot on these tracks, jumped down the cliff.
Regardless, I had driven this train down the tracks, or more having thrown that train off the cliff. It's almost done now. The king of the people wouldn't put up much of a fight; he is too kind. You could put him in a burning building and he'd help everyone get out safely before leaving himself; you could give him two arguing children and he would work to get them cleared up of their issues; you could give him a poisoned pie and he'd forgive you for mixing up cups of butter with buttercups.
There's the flower, the talking flower who I used to hate so much. He is cruel, too cruel who finds sick amusement in killing others… sounds just like me. I still dislike the bugger, but after everything, him helping me along in this dangerous land. He is the one that told me "It's kill or be killed" after all. If it wasn't for that piece of advice, I probably would've died to the first inhabitant down here. Still, I wonder if it all was necessary…
Regrets won't bring them back, only I can do that. What a wry thought. Still, only I have the power over the time. To reset and restart time; how overpowered. Still though, if I can turn it back, undo everything I've done, wipe the slate clean so to say, it wouldn't really matter what I do, not if I can just reset it all. If it never really happened, will anything wrong have happened? Can I be held accountable for something I've never done? No, no of course not; it's not like anyone's going to remember. So if none of it's going to have happened and no one remembers, it doesn't matter what I've done or what I will do.
Ah, I can feel my resolve, my Determination strengthening. I guess that's that then. Just one more small hop off down to the bottom of a very deep cliff. Just one more step now.
*Clack*
Chug chug chug. It's done; I've crossed the invisible line he, we both drew. And he's smiling. He always smiles. There's no more joy now though; that just slipped away. Ah well, his brother wasn't so tough, how bad can he be?
Hello all, this is my first story published on this site. How was it? Reviews are appreciated~