Enough of all the cheesy romance. I thought that I'd end Valentine's Day with the Miraculous fandom's two least favorite characters. Yeah, you guessed it. Liar 1 and Liar 2, aka Chloe and Lila. I just didn't know what to do with them, so I threw Bridgette and Felix into the mix (that's Marinette and Adrien back in the old days when Miraculous was going to be an anime). So, here you go: the last one-shot in An Armada of Ships!

…...

Why Chloe and Lila Hate Valentine's Day: Lila vs Chloe vs Bridgette x Felix

Frenemies.

That was truly the only word that could describe Chloe and Lila's relationship.

You see, they were the best of friends most of the time, constantly scheming and plotting the demise of every student in Collège Françoise Dupont.

But there were two topics that immediately turned them into enemies while sparking a lengthy argument between the two that could last up to a week.

The first topic was Ladybug.

The amazing savior of Paris.

At least, that's who she was in the eyes of Chloe and every other person in Paris.

Except Lila.

Chloe practically worshipped Ladybug.

Seriously, she had a humongous shrine dedicated to the superheroine that was only accessible by a secret door at the back of her walk-in closet.

But only Chloe and her butler knew about that, and she liked to keep it that way.

On the other hand, saying that Lila didn't like Ladybug was the biggest understatement of the year.

Lila despised her.

"What's so great about Ladybug? She's just a weird little girl who likes to dress up as a bug. And I'm pretty sure that she dyes her hair. She's not even that pretty," Lila had said a few weeks before.

Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and especially Chloe probably would've torn Lila apart, limb by limb, if Miss Bustier hadn't arrived.

The second topic was Adrien Agreste.

The most perfect boy in Paris.

Ridiculously handsome, exceptionally smart and athletic, too innocent to be a teenager, and a superhero as well.

Neither Chloe nor Lila knew about that last part, though.

But they each had an unspoken unofficial rule for each other.

Don't you dare go near Adrien Agreste or I will personally make sure that you die a horrible, miserable, painful, bloody death.

Both of them were very talented at breaking this rule.

Two days ago, Chloe had spotted Lila flirting with Adrien so she filled the sneaky fox's locker with week-old sardines.

Yesterday, Lila had seen Chloe hanging off of Adrien's arm and Chloe woke up the next day to find out that there was now a viral video of her singing an XY song five octaves higher than it should've been sung.

Everyone else (Adrien in particular) was highly amused by this.

Finally, there was some peace and quiet as Lila and Chloe eventually stopped arguing over Adrien altogether.

And then came the Valentine's Day Ball Royale.

Mr. Bourgeois, the organizer of the annual event, allowed his 'precious' daughter to bring one guest each year.

Naturally, Adrien was always Chloe's first choice, but he denied the ticket every time.

"Besides," he had said just hours before, "I have a date with Marinette scheduled for tonight."

Chloe thought that that was his most ridiculous excuse by far.

It's not like my Adrikins could ever fall in love with dirty little Maritrash, Chloe thought. That's impossible.

Her second choice was Sabrina, but she was had already been asked out by Max.

So Chloe had to pick her third and final option.

Lila.

And so the girls slipped on dresses designed by Gabriel Agreste himself.

Chloe had removed her sunglasses and curled her ponytail into a single, thick ringlet while Lila kept her usual hairstyle.

Chloe was wearing a loose golden sundress that reached her knees with ruffled sleeves and matching sandals.

Lila was wearing a sleeveless orange sparkly form-fitting party dress with black fingerless gloves that reached her elbow and pair of long black boots.

They chatted in a ballroom full of well-dressed but extremely boring aristocrats.

The most interesting thing that happened was when the princess of (Rally? Rolly? Chloe really didn't care what it was called) started freaking out because a spider landed in her hair.

Soon, a memorable event happened.

And that event would eventually make Chloe and Lila experience something new.

Rejection.

The golden doors swung open and a boy stepped into the room.

Lila's jaw went slack and Chloe spit out her punch.

Felix Agreste, Adrien's cousin, had arrived at the Valentine's Day Ball Royale, apparently partnerless.

Felix's parents were both extremely famous and rich lawyers, and his lifestyle was much like his cousin's, except for the fact that he attended a boarding school in Switzerland.

Felix looked like Adrien, too- but almost like a faded version.

Felix's eyes were an icy blue color, his skin was fair, and his hair was a paler shade of yellow and much neater than Adrien's unkempt golden bedhead.

But other than that, Felix looked exactly like his cousin, almost to an eerie extent.

Now, Lila and Chloe had established a rule about Adrien, but they hadn't created one about Felix.

Felix Agreste will be mine by the end of this night, both girls thought. Whatever I have to do to make it happen, he will be mine.

Felix, who was wearing a dark gray tuxedo, walked over to the mayor.

"I assume you must be Mr. Bourgeois. I'm ecstatic to meet you, sir," Felix icily greeted him, sticking out his hand almost robotically.

Mr. Bourgeois took the young man's hand in his own sweaty palms and rapidly shook it.

"Felix, I haven't seen you since you were a baby! My, your fingers are cold," he replied.

"So I've been told," Felix said in his usual indifferent manner.

Mr. Bourgeois let go of his hand. "Would you like to meet-"

"Hello, you're Felix, aren't you? Adrien is one of my best friends, but I'm not romantically interested in him," Chloe interrupted.

Lila nearly dropped her glass and attempted to keep herself from bursting with laughter.

"Adrien warned me about you two," Felix sighed.

"That's my friend Lila, but she doesn't matter. Would you like me to take you to the garden? Celebrity couples have picked its roses!" Chloe continued, attempting to tug on Felix's arm.

"No," he simply replied.

Chloe froze.

"What did you just say to me?"

"No," Felix repeated. "Quite frankly, I don't see why anyone would want to."

Chloe pretended that she hadn't heard Felix's last comment.

"I'm so glad that you're back in Paris! I've missed you, Felix. We can ditch everyone else and I'll give you a tour around Paris so we can rekindle that old flame we had," she said.

"I find it strange that you consider breaking my favorite rocking horse an 'old flame,'" Felix responded.

"You're so funny!" Chloe giggled.

"I'm sure that I am. I see that you don't have a date," Felix noticed.

"No, I don't," Chloe confirmed, completely sure that he was falling for her.

"I can see why. Adrien has better flirting techniques than you, and he makes puns," Felix shuddered. "Excuse me, but I really do have to make an important call."

Chloe looked like she was going to have a fit.

She took a few deep breaths and walked to the bathroom.

After Felix made his important call it was Lila's turn.

"Nice to meet you. Sorry about Chloe, she's a bit of a wreck sometimes," she said, putting on a fake smile and trying to hide the fact that Chloe would kill her if she found out what Lila had just said.

"Yes, Adrien told me about Chloe a few months ago," Felix stated.

Lila suddenly noticed that the orchestra was playing a slow song.

"Felix, would you like to dance?" Lila asked him.

"Of course, Lily," Felix said.

"It's Lila. But you can call me Lily, if you want! So tell me about yourself, I heard you go to a school in Switzerland. I've been there too many times to count. Do you like to go skiing in the Swiss Alps? I've done that loads of times," Lila lied.

"My school is in Zürich, and I hate winter. And snow. And especially skiing," Felix said.

"This is exactly why I should get to know you!" Lila said, playfully punching his arm.

"Please don't hit my arm. Since you've been to Switzerland 'too many times to count,' I'm sure you've at least been to Zürich. Isn't their Lindt chocolate divine?" Felix said.

"Yeah, it's much better than the French chocolate they're serving here. Compared to Lindt, who would eat this crap?" Lila laughed.

Meanwhile, Chloe had returned from the bathroom and looked like she wanted to skin Lila alive.

Lila only grinned.

Felix walked over to the orchestra and said something to the violinist.

He returned to Lila.

She was about to wrap her arms around his neck when the orchestra members suddenly started playing a lively tune instead of a slow song.

"Spring from Vivaldi is one of my favorites. Time to dance," Felix said, a ghost of a smile spreading over his face.

Well, at least I still get to dance with him, Lila thought.

But before she could start tapping to the rhythm, Felix was already dancing.

With Chloe's grandmother.

"Felix, you're such a charmer," old Mrs. Bourgeois laughed.

Everyone suddenly switched partners.

Chloe and Lila were unwillingly swept up into the strange assortment of dancers, and Chloe was paired up with her father while Lila was dancing with a girl who couldn't have been more than ten years old.

Everyone switched partners again, and Chloe and Lila ended up dancing together.

"Felix is mine," Chloe hissed.

"You wish," Lila smirked.

Chloe deliberately stomped on her foot as they switched partners again.

Both girls tried to edge themselves closer to Felix.

They switched partners five more times.

Lila and Chloe were dancing with everyone, from a bald man with a large potbelly who was doing an odd sort of jig, to annoying little toddlers who bounced on their toes, to elderly people who were reminiscing about 'the good old days' while doing a slow waltz.

Finally, it was time for the last switch.

Chloe and Lila nearly shoved each other to the ground in their mad dash to be with Felix first.

Neither of them were winning and they both tripped and fell flat on their faces.

They looked up, only to see Felix kissing a girl their age as the song ended.

She looked remarkably like Marinette, but this girl's hair was much longer.

She wore a beautiful pink ball gown adorned with red roses.

"Bridgette, you finally arrived!" Felix said, his frosty demeanor gone.

A goofy lovestruck grin was plastered on his face.

"When I heard Spring from Vivaldi I just had to dance with you!" Bridgette giggled. "How did you know that it's my favorite classical song?"

"You have a girlfriend?!" Lila yelled.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Chloe screeched.

Felix turned towards them, his smile disappearing.

"It must've slipped my mind in all of the excitement," he shrugged.

Chloe looked like her blood was going to boil over in anger.

"GET OUT!" Chloe screamed at the pair. "Just. Get. Out."

"It will be my pleasure," Felix said.

He turned towards his girlfriend.

"Bridgette, would you like to see the Bourgeois' garden? I heard that celebrity couples have toured it," Felix asked, offering her his hand.

"That sounds lovely," Bridgette smiled.

Felix and Bridgette walked out of the mansion hand-in-hand.

Chloe and Lila were not exactly happy the next day.

Or week.

Or month.

Needless to say, Chloe and Lila officially hated Valentine's Day.

…...

Felix really roasted Chloe and Lila, huh? Well, that was An Armada of Ships. I spent over a month writing it all and it's nice to know you're reading it. Happy Valentine's Day, OTPeople! ~Shadow of the Elements