So I just saw the episode (The Joker is Wild) where Hawkeye gets pranked by BJ. One problem: I feel like Hawkeye could've done better than what he did to BJ. So this takes place a little later in the day. Who better to help him than BJ's protégé?

A/N: So, this is mostly Hawkeye's perspective. What's gonna happen to BJ? With Angel Dawson behind something, anything is possible! T for language, blood and birth. I only own OCs. The ending perspective may or may not surprise you.

Hawkeye's REAL Revenge

I finished my morning rounds. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was leaving post-op. We don't have any incoming wounded, yet. I got BJ pretty good, but if Trapper were here, he would've said, "Hawkeye, you can do better than that."

"It's true," Angel said.

I looked at her. "Weren't you supposed to be making rounds with Major Houlihan?" I asked.

"Past tense, Capt. You know, seeing as we're the only ones out here, we could go to the Swamp," she said.

Alright with me. I nodded for her to follow and when we got there, she looked around and opened her mouth to speak.

"Wait. Did you know about BJ's scheme, too? Everyone seemed to know what their prank would be," I asked.

She nodded. "He gave me $50 not to tell you about it. I gave Kellye half to cover for me. I told Major Houlihan that I wasn't feeling good," she said but then gave me a shit-eating grin.

...Major Houlihan rarely lets something like that pass by her. "You were faking the vomiting last night?" I asked.

Rebekah shook her head. "Yeah, but when she felt down the back of my shirt, she asked me if I set my back on fire. She said she thought I had a fever. I was wearing one of my long-sleeved shirts with the sleeves rolled up under this," she said.

"Wow. Let me guess, I gotta bribe you, don't I?" I asked.

She seemed to think about it. "You don't if you can answer this question. ...if you remember," she said, donning a more serious expression.

"It's about Joel, isn't it?" I asked.

She nodded. "He sent me out of the room before asking you to come in. I thought I heard him saying something, but Connor told me I was hearing things," she said. "I never believed him. I want the truth."

I had to think. Joel and I were practically blood brothers growing up. "He told me to keep an eye out for you. He then told me that you would've been asking too many questions if the condition was inherited," he said.

She looked upset. "Damn," she said.

"He said it tends to only affect male members of the family, but there could've been a female he didn't know about," I said. "Now how do we get BJ back?"

She looked around again before pulling a capped syringe out of her pocket. "I told Major Houlihan that I'd drink some healing tonic I had a recipe for," she said. She then emptied the syringe's contents into her mouth (after uncapping it), nothing touching her face. She then grinned at me. "The tonic is an old family recipe and bears a striking resemblance to water," she added with a laugh. "Where does BJ keep the darts?" she asked.

I went to the drawer and got them. "What do darts have to do with getting back at BJ?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Watch," she said, throwing the first one, hitting a bull's eye. She threw the second and landed very close. She walked over to the door and threw the darts on the floor next to the drawer.

I looked at her. "Bet you can't make it with your eyes closed," I said, standing next to her.

"Alright. Just to entertain you, I'll do it with my left hand," she said, closing her green eyes after placing the dart in her left hand. -Thud- against the bull's eye. She opened her eyes.

I looked at the bull's eye. "What do you have planned?" I asked.

She whispered it into my ear. I was stunned. "He'll reveal it at dinnertime tonight," she said with a grin. "Just keep him away from the Swamp."

I was worried about that. "What do you need?" I asked.

"Your own blend," she said. She shook her head. "After I get that, I'll go behind the nurse's tent and then sneak into the supply closet."

"Incoming wounded," Igor announced. "Get 'em while they're here."

She shook her head before pocketing the vial. "We'll shake on it," she said and raised her hand. "I swear, I'll keep my promise. It'll only take me 5 minutes. Think you can keep him occupied long enough?"

I nodded. "I'll figure out something to get him to turn around for you to get out," I said.

"Thanks. There'll be a good reward other than humiliation," she said. I didn't question it as Major Houlihan approached us.

"Hawk, did you examine her?" Margaret asked.

I folded my arms. "To find out what caused the fever?" I asked.

"Exactly," she said, staring at Angel.

I saw where this was going. "Oh yeah. I think it was one of those 24-hour things," I began. "She said she got a good night's rest and feels better."

"Don't forget you're taking Kellye's evening rounds," Margaret said.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, yeah. We talked about it last night. Don't over-stress it, Major," she said. As Margaret walked to evaluate someone, Angel gave me a thumb's up.

"Dawson, get over here," Col. Potter said.

I watched as she took off. I watched Fr. Mulcahy walk by. "Let's hope I don't have to administer the last rights," he said.

"I always hope for that," I said. Then I didn't expect the colonel to call me.

"Pierce!" he called. I came over to the scene as Angel pressed on the woman's stomach.

"Neowa eolmana meolliiss-eo?" Angel asked in Korean. (Translation: How far along are you?)

The woman had to think. I noticed she had a gash on her arm. "Agiga god olgeoya," the woman replied. (Translation: The baby is due soon.)

The colonel looked to Angel for a translation. She looked at us. "She said that the baby is due soon," she replied. The colonel whispered something in her ear.

"Hawk, what's going on?" Klinger asked.

I looked at him. "Your guess is as good as mine," I said.

"Someone told me that a nearby village was struck," Klinger said.

I nodded. "I think that's probably where we got her from," I said.

"Neo yeong-eo hal jul al-a?" Angel asked. (Translation: Do you speak any English?)

The woman nodded. "Some. My village was attack. I did not get away in enough time," she said.

"You might have," Klinger said.

"I just worry about my husband. He an American soldier at the major rank," she told us. "My name is Hye and I feel like I am about to out pass."

Angel nodded. "Klinger, help us out," she said. I noticed someone who hadn't been evaluated yet. He let out a groan of pain as the blood shot out from his stomach and some from his thigh.

"I need some help over here. Get him to prep, stat!" I ordered. I looked at his pupils and saw glazed, gray eyes. A dirty blond mess of hair that was short.

Once we were in OR, I asked about our patient. "How is she?" I asked.

"Angel's trying to relax her, but she wants her husband in the same room with her or a blessing before we go on," the colonel said. I removed some shrapnel.

"Her husband's on our side. We just gotta find him," I said.

Charles let out a laugh. "Good luck with that," he said.

"Yeah. It's like a wild goose chase," BJ added. I said nothing and continued working on this guy. How he was alive was beyond me.

"Padre, we need your aid," Angel said. Most of the time, she usually called him 'Father' or his full title: Fr. Mulcahy.

I took a glance out of the corner of my eye and watched him walk over. "Ever given a blessing before a woman gave birth?" Col. Potter asked a question we probably (well, maybe not Charles, but you never know) all had on our minds.

He appeared to think it over. "Not that I can recall. I ...I don't know what to say," Father said.

"The baby's going to be born early. How much is just one of the things we'll find out in the delivery process," Angel replied.

Father snapped his fingers. "O Lord, watch over this woman so she and her yet-to-be born child will live. I entrust your power to keep her safe," Padre said.

"Good one," Col. Potter said. "Let me stitch up this gash first after we get some of a local anesthetic into you."

Nothing but silence as the minutes on the clock ticked. "The baby's not in breech," Angel said. *

It wasn't much long after that that we heard a scream, but of new life. "Angel, you clean this little fellow off and get a weight on him," Col. Potter said. After I finished and no one seemed to be coming in, I went to check on Angel with the baby.

"How's the little guy?" I asked.

He was crying. "Sh," Angel said as she held him. "He's rather light, typical of a preemie. Six weeks is my guess. Should we try to track her husband down?"

"If he's alive," I said.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, I was checking on my patient. No rank was listed, something I tend to do when I'm in a hurry. He opened his eyes. "I survived through all of that?" he asked.

"I got to you with enough time to spare," I said. "I'm Capt. Hawkeye Pierce and your doctor. Would you mind telling me what the last thing you remember is?"

He licked his lips. "Yeah. Me and my unit were standing guard when someone started firing from a village. Then one of the villagers came out with a gun and thought we were the enemy," he said. "Oh. I should introduce myself. Maj. Adrian Livingston and I'm their CO."

I looked over at Col. Potter, Angel and Hye. I could only wonder. "You aren't married are you?"

He nodded. "I am. My wife's name is Hye," he said.

Bingo. "Angel, Col. Potter, you won't believe this," I said and went their way, but before I did, Livingston stopped me.

"You wouldn't happen to have a priest, would you?" he asked.

I nodded and looked around for Fr. Mulcahy. I couldn't see him anywhere. "We do, but I don't see him. I'll make sure he talks to you, Major," I told him.

He shook his head. "Forget the formalities. Call me Adrian," he said.

I met Angel and the colonel on the other side of the room. "How's your patient?" Angel asked.

"Alive and speaking coherent sentences. His name is Major Adrian Livingston. He and his men were standing guard when the nearby village was attacked. Then some villager started firing at will," I said. Before Angel could speak, I beat her to it. "He could be the man we're looking for. Get a wheelchair for her."

I went back to him and he was exhaling through his mouth. I sat by him. "Hey, doc," he said.

"I got a question for you. This may sound odd, but I'll explain: when was the last time you saw your wife?" I asked him.

He had to think. "She was pregnant. Our baby's supposed to be born in 3 weeks," Adrian said. I looked up to Col. Potter and nodded.

"Well, it seems that fate has an odd way of working. Your wife was shot by only God knows who, but she's alive and well," I said as Father Mulcahy came in.

"Can I talk to you after I talk to my wife?" Adrian asked.

Father Mulcahy looked at me before saying, "Sure."

Col. Potter, Angel and Hye came over. "This is the doctor and nurse that took care of your wife and son," I said.

"Your little guy came a little early, but he's as healthy as can be. Trust me, I'm a grandfather," Col. Potter said. **

Hye said nothing as Angel pushed her to Adrian. "This is Maj. Adrian Livingston. He's their CO," I said.

Before being handed his son, he told the others, "Please. Call me Adrian."

I watched as Hye said something to her son. I couldn't tell if it was English or Korean because I couldn't hear her. Hye passed him over to Adrian. I heard a small cry escape his lips. "How wonderful," Father said.

"How much did he weigh?" Adrian asked.

Angel sighed. "Well, we don't have a scale and when I took him to clean him off, he felt fairly light. However, I'd guess he's 6 pounds, give or take a few ounces," she said.

"So what's the scamp's name?" Col. Potter asked.

Adrian looked at Hye. "Well, I wanted to have my child share their name with a saint or other religious figure and naturally, Hye wanted a Korean name."

"So we met in the middle," Hye said. "He will have a Korean name first and then an American name."

After exchanging a glance with her husband, we got his first name. "Kwan. It means powerful in Korean," Hye said.

Adrian had to think. I would, too. What would go with Kwan? "Xavier, after the saint," Adrian said.

Angel lightly slapped Fr. Mulcahy on the shoulder. "Well, looks like we've got a Catholic among us," she said.

Before Padre could say anything, Igor announced, "Dinner in the mess tent. Get it while it's edible." ***

"Is it ever?" Col. Potter muttered. I just shook my head.

I watched as Angel placed her hand on Hye's shoulder. "I won't separate you, don't worry. Jebal, jom swieobosibsio. Se bun modu," she said. (Translation: Please, try and get some rest. All three of you.)

"We will," Adrian said. After Col. Potter left first, I stayed behind Angel.

I took a breath. "You sure about this?" I mouthed. She just gave me a thumb's up before taking off to the Swamp. Dammit! I hope Charles is in the mess tent or doesn't question her intentions.

"Hey, what's got you hanging around?" BJ asked.

I looked back at the Livingston family. "I'll tell you on the way," I said.

"We need to stop at the Swamp first," he said. "I was throwing darts in the wee hours of the morning and I didn't put them away because I knew the slamming of a drawer would wake one of you."

Uh-oh. Rebekah used the darts last and dear God, I hope she hurries up! "Say, BJ," I said. "I was thinking about Peg and Erin after the colonel tried to paint us all. What kind of stories do you think you'll tell Erin?"

He shrugged. "Not many until she's older. I'll go back to reading bedtime stories. I tell you Hawk, I miss Erin's babbling," he said.

"I can imagine," I said as we neared the Swamp. I was surprised to see that it was empty. I just stood by the door.

BJ walked in and I looked at the still. It was too hard to tell. He kept looking around. "I ...can't find them," he said.

"Did you check the drawer?" I asked. He went over to the drawer and opened it as I noticed a note on my bed. I decided I'd check it when BJ left. From the door, though, I could see (in what seemed to be thick lettering) P-O Comments Hye.

"Found em!" BJ said. Angel's good of thinking things ahead like that. "C'mon. Let's go eat."

I went closer to my bed. "Uh, you go ahead, I'll catch up. It looks like Angel left me a note on the wife of the man I operated on," I said as I moved even closer so he couldn't see the note.

"I'll wait outside and give you your privacy," BJ said.

Stubborn. I took the note and read it.

Is there a discharge for Adrian possible? It didn't take me as long as I thought. If I came back, BJ would've gotten suspicious. Anyway, sit near the entrance of the mess tent. You can sit anywhere you want, but BJ has to be close to the entrance, where the 'windows' would be. You'll see soon. I just hope it works. –Angel

I pocketed the note and looked to see BJ standing there still. I came outside. "You weren't trying to read over my shoulder, were you?" I asked.

"No, no. I just realized that you told me that the colonel delivered a baby with Angel as his assistant," he said.

I shrugged as we went to the mess tent. What, was fate in my favor for once? Majors Winchester and Houlihan were sitting on either side of Father Mulcahy with Klinger next to Margaret. Col. Potter sat across from them. I didn't see Angel, but I guess that's the point. After we got what I'm told is shrimp gumbo, I sat down.

"Ya just missed Igor's announcement," the colonel said. "A nearby farmer walks to fish for shrimp and other fish. He gave his catch to Igor, along with some fresh ingredients. It may be a Louisiana thing, but it's worth it. Plus if any of you paid attention in geography, you'll know that you gotta go through Arkansas to get to Louisiana from Missouri."

Father wiped his mouth with a napkin before looking around. "Where is she?" he asked.

"A good question. While Spec Dawson and I don't typically get along, I haven't seen her since OR," Charles said.

Margaret had a spoonful before saying, "It's tomato based. She's coming off of a fever. She'd get these 24-hour bugs as a child."

BJ and I dug in. "What say you, Klinger?" BJ asked.

He shrugged. "It's good, but this kind of cooking makes me miss Toledo. Y'know, homemade cooking?"

BJ ate some more before drinking some water and he looked ready to say something. He stood up. "Everyone, I have a very unique announcement. Before I came here, I was just starting my family. Shortly after Peg got the confirmation that she'd be expecting our first child, I was in disbelief. I made a joke to several friends," he began. Could it be? "What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?" He paused and waited to see if anyone would answer.

"Well, what's the difference?" Igor asked.

BJ started laughing slightly, "At least you can unscrew a lightbulb. Peg only got wind of that from my friend Donovan's wife and wanted to divorce me for it. Before I knew it, we were going into court and I stopped her. I said, 'If you still want to go through with this, at least let me get my say in. I decided to get drunk because I hadn't had a good night out with the guys since I was a frat boy back in Tau Phi Epsilon. I didn't even think about what I said, that's how drunk I got. I'm sorry I said something deeply offensive.'" He let us take that in before continuing, "After that, she asked me if I was being serious and I told her I meant every word of it. She and I embraced and I offered to make up for it with dinner on me." ****

Some of the nurses were booing, Margaret shook her head as Charles rolled his eyes. Father was shocked and BJ didn't say anything further. His eyes looked blank. "BJ, are you alright?" Nothing.

"Well, thank you for that very interesting development, Capt. Hunnicutt," Angel said, clapping slowly and smirking slightly.

Suddenly, BJ snapped out of it. "How did that just happen?" he asked. I finally saw it. There was a hole in the window and the syringe in BJ's shoulder blade.

"Truth serum," was all Angel said before going to get some gumbo. Charles finished, got up from the table and said nothing. She took his place.

I looked at her. "Seriously. What was in it?" I asked.

"I got an A in Chemistry for it. 2 parts of a strong alcohol (I used gin or maybe it was scotch), plus crushed tablets of Valium, mix in the rest with water, honey and the last is a secret ingredient," she said. She looked at BJ. "It makes the... recipient a little bit drowsy and in a temporary stupor. To be snapped out of said stupor, the …sender has to say something that pertains to whatever was said."

Klinger whistled. "Why didn't you say so?" Margaret asked.

She winked at me. "Let's just say that I needed an answer and Hawkeye was the one to help me out and please, leave it at that."

We continued to eat and then BJ said, "I do have one question. How did you find out about it when only a total of three other individuals swore it to secrecy?"

"I met Mrs. Hunnicutt before I was deployed to the 8063rd and she was defending someone who was the victim of such jokes like that. I asked her if it was personal because ...," Angel began before quietly saying, "I told her that a family member of mine (my cousin Ann, to be exact) was assaulted. She said that she was sorry to hear that and she said that her husband BJ told a joke shortly after she told her husband that she was expecting their first child." *****

"Can we please change the subject?" the colonel asked.

I thought of the note. "Due to his injuries, is it possible that Adrian could get a discharge?" I asked.

"Father, I do believe you and I had words yesterday. I know you're a man of your word, so pay up," Angel said.

Father looked at her as if she just committed a sin right in front of him. "Oh. You're right," he conceded before pulling out some bills. "Here's the $100 as promised."

She took them and put some away. She counted. "$25 for Dr. Pierce," she said, smiling at me.

I took it. "What was the bet?" Margaret asked.

"The bet was that Rebekah said she'd be able to get someone to admit something that would only otherwise come out in a confession," Father answered. "I didn't think she could do it."

BJ looked at the syringe. "How'd you get it through the screen?" the colonel asked.

Angel put the remaining money in her pocket and grabbed something out of the other pocket. I looked and saw a black tool. She flicked the side of it and out came a blade. "Grandpa always told me to carry a pocketknife and a switchblade. I never thought I'd get into the Army," she said before withdrawing the blade. (1)

I finished and I could only hear Margaret saying something to Angel, but I wasn't really listening. "Hawkeye," Angel called.

She took out the money again. "Here," she said. "I wanted to give Kellye the other $25, but she wouldn't take it."

I shook my head. "It doesn't feel right taking it," I said. "Maybe you should give it to BJ."

"For what?" he asked, joining us.

Angel turned to him. "For being a good sport and for reminding me that sometimes, you have to go far to make some people laugh. I'll see you later this evening at rounds, maybe," was all she said before walking off.

"Where'd she get the alcohol from?" he asked.

I took a breath. "The still. I thought that it'd be better revenge. I know you and Trapper haven't met, but he would've told me that I can do better than what I did. I see you finished the job," I admitted.

"The student beats the teacher at some point. How'd she have good aim?" he asked.

I thought. "Let her tell you that one," I said.

(Later that evening at rounds. Father Mulcahy's P.O.V.)

"Well, here's the man you wanted to see," Rebekah said to the patient on the bed, or Adrian as I heard.

"Major Adrian Livingston, CO of all these guys, new dad, but please Fr., call me Adrian," he introduced as Rebekah went on the empty bed by his wife and whispered quietly in her ear.

Quite the grip. "You've got quite the grip. So, you're really Catholic?" I asked.

He nodded. "That's something I wanted to talk to you about since Hye is with me," Adrian replied. "Belmont Abbey alum, though."

I heard his son cooing as Rebekah held him. "What's his name?" I asked.

"Kwan. Kwan Xavier Livingston and I was wondering if you could do a baptism for him," Adrian said.

It was natural for me to ask. "Does Kwan have godparents?" I asked.

Adrian nodded. "I promised my brother before I left that he could be the godfather, but he lives in New York. However, Hye's sister is his godmother. Her husband was discharged and they live in Philly," he said.

"Well, what a coincidence. I'm from Philadelphia myself," I said. I looked at Angel. "I know you don't really know anyone here, but I can see what I can do about stand-in godparents."

Rebekah handed Kwan back to his mother. "I'll be the stand-in godmother, if that's okay," she said.

"Now for the godfather," Adrian mused. Rebekah blinked then seemed to be counting on her fingers.

Hye noticed this. "Something wrong?" she asked.

"No, I was just thinking. Father and I are the only Catholics here. I think Hawkeye is atheist or agnostic; I always get the two mixed up. Capt. Hunnicutt I think told me he is Presbyterian, Klinger is of some Lebanese religion, Col. Potter is Baptist, Maj. Winchester is either Episcopalian or Anglican and I've only talked religion over with one person and that's Igor," she said. "However, he's Jewish." (2)

Hye looked at her husband. "I'll talk to Klinger before I move up age-wise," Rebekah said. "I think it's time for young Kwan to get some sleep and you need some rest, too from the looks of it, Hye."

"Before you take her away, can I give my son a kiss on the forehead?" Adrian asked. I looked up at Rebekah.

"I don't think that'll be a problem," Rebekah replied. "Nurse Baker, will you take Hye back to her bed? You won't be kept from your son for long."

Nurse Baker came to do so and I watched Hye pass Kwan to Rebekah. I heard him make a soft gurgle. "Hi there, Kwan," she cooed. "Look at those big eyes staring at me." She passed him to Adrian.

"Hey, he's got my eyes," Adrian said. He then kissed his son on the forehead. "Goodnight, Kwan."

He handed Kwan back to Rebekah and she went to take him to his mother. "It's not that often that I get to do something like that. I've said a blessing before operating on someone myself and have said the Last Rites more times than I can count," I said. (3)

Adrian nodded. "Before we, how long do you think it'll take for the baptism to take place?" he asked.

"We always figure something like this out. I'm sure Margaret would love to help with any floral arrangements. It's interesting that she has motherly instincts, despite not being one herself," I said. (4)

Adrian nodded. "I think that's a lady thing, personally," he mused. He took a breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

I took my stole out and kissed it before placing it around my shoulders. "In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," I said, making the sign of the cross. Using my peripheral vision, I watched as Adrian did the same. "My son, how long has it been since your last confession?" I asked. (5)

He took a breath, trying to think about it, but didn't seem to know. "It's been too long," he said to me.

I nodded in understanding. "It's alright. So, what would you like to say in this confession?" I asked.

(Third person P.O.V.)

As that was going on, Angel and BJ were on the other side of the room. "I remember when Erin was that little," BJ said.

Angel looked at BJ. "Yeah, I bet. How old is she, now?" she asked.

"She'll be two in a few months. I want to be home for that," BJ said. With BJ looking at the post-op and appearing to be focused on what only Angel could guess to be Peg and Erin (and she had nothing wrong with that), Angel pulled the remaining $25 out of her pocket and placed it in the pocket of BJ's lab coat. He'd find it there, soon enough.

"I bet you do and I don't blame you. I miss my grandma," Angel replied. Seeing as the patients were sleeping (or trying to), Angel and BJ decided it was time for them to get some shuteye. They knew that Adrian and Fr. Mulcahy would go to sleep on their own times.

...and what Maj. Livingston says during his confession is up to your imaginations! Or as Father Mulcahy would say, "It stays in between you, me and the Lord." Also, Rebekah drank water, not the tonic. She made a small amount of it without waking anyone and without any suspicion. (6)

Rundown time already? Well, let's go then!

(*) In breech [for those of you who don't have any younger siblings or cousins] means that the baby's feet are …closer to the birth canal. Babies typically manage to turn themselves around before they are delivered. If not, then they are delivered via Caesarean section, or C-section for short.

(**) I know that Col. Potter is not an obstetrician, but I think he's got enough children to know stuff like that!

(***) They've never revealed who the announcer was. However, I just looked it up. Sal Viscuso and Todd Susman both held this role in the TV series. I would've guessed it to be one of the writers or producers, but it wasn't. I gave it to Igor because I don't think either character was meant to be named.

(****) I hope I didn't offend anyone with this joke. If I offended you, I am sorry. I did not make it up, I found it on some website. Also, Hunnicutt was in fact a member of Tau Phi Epsilon. The real honor society is Phi Tau Epsilon.

(*****) Yeah, this had to come out at some point and I'm sorry for spoiling. Before Rebekah "Angel" Dawson went to Korea, she was visiting extended family in California, where BJ is from. I just thought it'd be interesting and it seemed to just go with the flow. Also, sexual assault/rape are not topics I take lightly. I take them 110% seriously.

(1) On switchblades I've seen, the switch/lever [whatever term you know it by] is either on the top or on the side, not near the blade.

(2) I think Col. Potter said he was a Baptist, but I'm not sure. If he didn't, then I made his religion up. Hawkeye [as stated by Alan Alda {Dr. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce} himself] is atheist or agnostic. I can't recall what the article says. Anyway, I also made everyone else's religions up. I do feel that Klinger [at some point or another] has mentioned religion, but then again, I could be wrong.

(3) As far as operating on someone, remember the episode where Fr. Mulcahy and Radar went out? Well, that episode is called 'Mulcahy's War' and for the record [if you remember {and if you don't, that's okay}], Fr. Mulcahy wasn't supposed to go out there, but he did with Radar. He had to perform a tracheotomy to get an injured soldier to start breathing again. During the procedure, Radar doesn't faint [per se] he just ducks behind the Jeep. Fr. Mulcahy gets scolded for doing so, but he [Mulcahy] feels better for doing so afterwards. As for the Last Rites bit, in the episode where Maj. Houlihan, Maj. Winchester, Hawkeye, BJ, Col. Potter and Fr. Mulcahy [and to Klinger, I think], Fr. Mulcahy states in his letter that he has to give the Last Rites more often than he cares to; or something along those lines. As for the last bit? The closest thing to a baptism that the TV series has had was way back when Trapper, Frank and Lt. Col. Blake were part of the regular cast: Trapper John performed a circumcision. Oh and if you were wondering, "Bless us O Lord for these thy gifts that which we are about to receive through thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen," was an actual prayer... it is. If you're Catholic, then you'd likely recognize it as the blessing before meals. I actually agree with Radar that it was brilliant.

(4) I've noticed on multiple occasions that Maj. Houlihan has maternal instincts. She may not always show it, but they're present in my head canon.

(5) If you're not Catholic [or you are, but were curious], the "sash" that a priest wears for confession is called a stole. Don't ask me why, I didn't come up with the name! Anyway, the priest that you are confessing to does start the confession in the way I said so.

(6) No, it really is in between Fr. Mulcahy, Adrian and the Lord. That's what I learned at my first confession over 10 years ago with the bishop of the diocese that my church is in. However, back then, he wasn't the bishop.

A/N: I originally intended this to be a memorial solely for Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy (yes, he has stated his full name. The episode where there's a nurse trying to become a doctor and he is helping her. He gives her three name ideas for if she ever has a son) played by William Christopher. Instead, this is in memory of those M*A*S*H members who have passed away and in honor of those still living.

Rest in peace -in ascending order (and by that, I mean who died first)-: Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake played by McLean Stevenson 11/14/1927-2/15/1996. Major Frank "Ferret Face" Burns played by Larry Linville 9/29/1939-4/10/2000. Colonel Sherman T. Potter played by Harry Morgan 4/10/1914-12/7/2011. Captain John "Trapper John" McIntyre played by Wayne Rogers 4/7/1933-12/31/2015. Lastly, Captain Father Francis J. P. "Padre" Mulcahy played by William Christopher 10/20/1932-12/31/2016.

In honor of -ladies first-: Lieutenant Kellye Nakahara (Kealani Kellye), Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan (Lorretta Swit), Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff), Sergeant Maxwell "Max" Q. Klinger (Jamie Farr), Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (as I said above, Alan Alda), Captain BJ Hunnicutt (Mike Farrell) and Major Charles Emerson Winchester III (David Ogden Stiers)

Final comments: I know, I usually do these first, but I decided to change things around. Anyone else besides me find it a little eerie that Rogers and McIntyre passed away on the exact same day, one year apart? I was not home (only a select few have been given knowledge to my location at that time) at the time Fr. Mulcahy passed away. I heard it in early January, got caught up in other work (not just FFN) and started working on this once I saw the episode 5-6 (maybe 7 or 8 now) days ago.

Please let me know if you would like to see a one-shot for Kwan's baptism, though.

WARNING: I do not know if Rebekah's concoction would make an actual truth serum. I made it up pretty much for plot purposes. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. AT ALL.

As always, R and R, F and F (if you want), vote and ask. Adios, dear readers.


PS Adios is literally Spanish for "to God" and trust me, I know. Also, the stand-in godparents is something that I know about ...sort of from experience. Oh and I always get agnostic and atheist mixed up. Don't get me started, unless you can clarify the difference.

Revision date: 2/18/17

What was revised: added the actor for Klinger, made a warning note for Rebekah's concoction.