Curt bit down his lip. Fuck. "I know," he whispered. "I just like to pretend I don't."


Pretend. That was quite the fitting word, now wasn't it? Brian and Curt had had their fair share of those. Pretend they cared about money, then pretend they didn't. Pretend they weren't fighting that often, or pretend they did. And as the silent seconds followed Curt's words, they only dug deeper. Perhaps because at the very moment, he was- once again- pretending he didn't care.

Was it truly worth it? Brian's words left his lips before he could catch them.

"Is...everything okay?"

Apparently not.

"I have a girlfriend," Curt muttered, wondering if the mere statement punched Brian in the gut just as much as it twisted his.

Brian nodded, swallowing the poison now coating his tongue. "I see." Why on earth would he need to know that?

"No, it's just...sometimes I wish she was you." Curt didn't need to fill the details. Brian would know. Brian always knew.

The British man's fingers curled into the cushion. Now? Truly? After all these years? "Curt-"

"Shit," the blond interrupted. "I missed that." Jesus, what the fuck. Just the mention of his name and Curt's heart was going a mile a minute, remembering the way those lips pursed. What the hell had happened to the time in between?

And even though Brian had a complete, orderly speech ready for such approach- he forgot it.

"Did you?" he murmured breathing softly. It was inevitable, how genuine the man remained, it never failed to sail through Brian's defences.

"Yeah," Curt replied immediately. "Man, you picked up the phone and all I could think was 'fuck, his voice sounds..." He took another drag, exhaling the smoke.

"So sweet."

Christ. Brian clutched the phone in response.

"I've...been dreaming about you," he confessed, closing his eyes to hide the embarrassment. He was convinced that Curt could still see him. "Incessantly."

The blond braced his palm on the mattress, straightening up at the words. "Me too," he whispered, taking a deep drag. "Fuck man..." he repeated, allowing his head to fall back on his shoulders for a second. "Me too."

"Do you think we could...meet, perhaps?" Brian asked, his voice much more eager than he would have wished. It made no bloody sense of top of it, but the Glam Rock Star couldn't be bothered.

Curt let out a startled chuckle, and Brian couldn't help but smile at the fresh, vulnerable sound.

"What? Where?"

"You know where," the British man scolded, in that familiar fashion that pressed his lids together yet again.

Curt nodded- it was Brian's vacation house. Their haven, their secret spot- away from the fucked up world of money and press.

"Right now?" He'd jump on a plane, he didn't give a fuck.

Brian bit down his lip.

"Please," were the last words that the blond heard before the line went dead. And the same passionate, careless fury that had kept them together once again flew Curt's door open only to be fall shut.


Curt's foot moved impatiently, shifting on his chair, hearing how the leather from his jacket rubbed against the cheap plastic. His clear eyes flickering over to the screen yet again, a third cup of shitty coffee, and another hour left to board.

Jesus, what the fuck was he doing?

Had Brian even meant it?

Fuck, what if he had been drunk and Curt just made an ass of himself showing up at an empty house? He had been at a dinner party, right?

Shock, Curt hadn't thought this through. But Brian...Brian had to have. Brian wasn't impulsive, right? He had to mean it. Yes- he meant it. And God, Curt did miss him. He missed him so fucking much.

Enough to move on. He wasn't even angry at Brian anymore, though he was still angry at himself. For all of this. The call, the feelings, for not giving a shit about the fact that he hadn't even left a note for his girlfriend. No, he wasn't angry at that. He was angry at how...weak Brian made him, at how he he'd do just about anything just to see those eyes again. Those bone cheeks, creamy skin, and the lips of a fallen angel.

Was it really over?

All that resentment, all that...shame Brian had inflected on him, was it really gone?


As Curt made his wheeling way to the check-in, he still wondered.


I don't hate it anymore?

I don't hate how... fucking easily he used to spin my head around, the way his body writhed and twisted and his lips pursed and called my name? The way his nails clawed down my spine. Or that he could turn him stupid with a side eye and a pouty lip.

Don't I fucking hate it? That I'm on top, but he's my master. That the game wasn't a fucking game, and it made me lose it all, but it got me higher than H.

Yeah. High.

High enough that it made me forget, hell, even forgive. That was his trick, every time- that streak of goddamn vulnerability just when it'd work. Like...fuck, like...today.

No, that would be...that's just my head, right? That's just the alarm going off: 'Curt, don't be such a fucking idiot, again' The one that I used to shut off by holding that hot thigh higher up and on my shoulder, fuck him harder, deeper. To make him pay. Even when we groaned and growled, sweating in lust, in the fucking need to erase it all and get a clean, new chance.

Like this one.

And it makes sense it's still there- it's fucking survival. The kind anybody would need when having a beautiful fucker hissing at them every day of the week. When a false god crushed them under a sharp heel just to guard their precious pride.

But okay, let's be fair- I might have done my part. I might have told him he a was fake, frigid bitch. May have walked away on him when I promised I wouldn't.

So maybe no, maybe I don't hate that power anymore. Maybe I hate more that Brian...felt the need to use it. On me, among all the others, to reach parts that either way only Brian could have reached.


"Would you like anything else, sir?" the flight attendant's words swept through Curt's thoughts, and the blond's lips tugged into the softest smile as he shook his head to watch her walk away. The sea mirroring in his eyes when turning back to look through the window.


Maybe this time, he actually did.


Author's Note: Glad to know you enjoyed the modern element of it, I think it'll be fun to play with it in the future. This is a chapter I put together with little scenes I had for them, as I've been writing them for a long time, but never really built a solid plot with it until now. Let me know if you're into it, there's many scenes to come once they meet again and I'm thinking of making a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' sort of story, in which I'll give you options and you'll tell me where you want to see the story go. Let me know about that, either way, any feedback is appreciated.