Disclaimer: I don't own Psych! Oh, and also, Invasion of the Sexy Vampires is a title I made up on the spot. If it has any relation to anything real whatsoever, it's purely coincidental.

"Shawn, you will your homework. All of it," Henry Spencer added with a dangerous undertone.

"Of course, dad."

"And you won't let anyone into the house. And no cooking! And absolutely no touching my stuff. Understood?"

"Yes, dad."

"And . . ." Henry hesitated. Shawn was staring up at him with his huge, hazel eyes, looking like he'd never had a single devilish thought in all his ten years of life. Anyone else would have been fooled by Shawn's innocent demeanor, but Henry knew better. He had nightmares about that face.

"Don't cause any trouble. If I come home and find even a single hair out of place, I will ground you for life. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

If Henry's suspicion meter hadn't already been maxed out by the cute face and the perfect behavior, that single word would have made it shoot to the top faster than he could blink. But there was nothing he could do, except sigh deeply and shoot one last warning towards his son before climbing into his car.
As Henry pulled out of the driveway he couldn't help but think, I am going to regret this decision for the rest of my life.

Shawn pressed his face against the glass, straining to see as far around the window frame as he could. As soon as his dad turned the final bend and disappeared from view, Shawn jumped away and dashed towards the kitchen, dialing the Guster's number as fast as he possibly could. It rang once, twice, three times before Gus's familiar voice came through.

"Hello, this is the Guster residence. May I ask wh-"

"Gus, it's me." Shawn cut him off. "You've got to come over!"

"Shawn? What did you do this time?" Gus asked, immediately suspicious.

"I haven't done anything! Why do you always think I'm in trouble?" Shawn complained.

"Because you are always in trouble."

"Okay, well this time I swear I'm not."

"So then why are you so excited?"

"My dad just got called in a case last minute," Shawn said, practically jumping. "And he didn't have time to get me a babysitter. I'm home alone!"

"Oh no, this is like a nightmare come true," Gus groaned.

"This is awesome! I have the entire house to myself! I can do whatever I want and nobody can tell me no! You HAVE to come over-"

"No way, Shawn! If my mom knew I was over without any parent supervision, she'd-"

"Come on! We can eat cookies before dinner and watch Invasion of the Sexy Vampires!"

"My mom already thinks you're a bad influence!"

"Gus, pleeeeaaaaase," Shawn whined.

"I haven't even done my homework yet!"

"You can do it later, man. This chance may never come again! And besides" - Shawn let loose one of his cocksure grins as he played his trump card - "you know you're the only one who can keep me grounded. There's no telling what bad stuff I could do by myself. And what if I get hurt, or the house gets attacked, or-"

"Okay, okay!" Gus panicked. "I'll come over! Don't do anything stupid while you wait, okay?"

"Gus, Non-stupid is my middle name. Shawn Non-stupid Spencer." There was a pause, then, "Non-stupid is a word, right?"

All he got in response was the faint buzz of an empty receiver.

"This is so weird," Gus said five minutes later, now standing in the Spencer's living room. "I always thought I was going to be the first one home alone."

"Don't be the dregs on the bottom of a coffee mug, Gus. And speaking of coffee-" Shawn grabbed his best friend's hand and dragged him into the kitchen. "My dad always said I'm not allowed to have coffee. Something about it having caffye in it."


"I've heard it both ways." Shawn jumped up on the counter and lifted an old-fashioned coffee machine from the cabinet above his head.

"Anyway, since my dad isn't around to tell me no," Shawn huffed, wobbling a little as he tried to put the coffee maker down, "I can finally try it."

"You don't know how to make coffee, Shawn!"

"Sure I do," Shawn said, hopping off the counter and rummaging through the pantry. "I've seen my dad do it a hundred times."

"I don't know," Gus said, a little uneasily. "I don't think your dad will be very happy if we mess up his coffee machine . . ."

"I won't mess it up. It'll be fine. Now man up and go put the water on to boil."

Gus sighed, but he did as Shawn asked. "I really think this is a bad idea," he groaned.

Five minutes later . . .

"I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!" Gus screamed over the sound of the exploding coffee machine.

"Gus, TURN IT OFF!" Shawn hollered from behind the counter.

"How?" Gus yelled.

"Press the button!"

"Which one?"


"They don't have labels, only lights!" Gus yelled back. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears. "We're gonna die! We're gonna get killed by coffee, Shawn!"

"MAN UP!" Shawn screamed over the noise, but Gus was too busy whimpering to hear him. "Oh, for love of pineapples-" Shawn crawled blindly on his hands and knees across the floor. Everything was covered in sticky, hot, half-made coffee. It was like the ultimate game of The Ground is Lava. Trying to avoid the worst spots and cringing when he got splashed, he kept going until he found what he was looking for - the power plug.

"I'm going to pull it out on three! Ready? . . . Three!"

"Shawn, NO!"

Shawn gave it a huge yank and suddenly everything was dark.

Henry Spencer couldn't believe it. It took all of five minutes to drive to the station, find out that in fact he wasn't needed, and drive back. Ten minutes. Even Shawn couldn't have destroyed the house that quickly, right?


Ten minutes was apparently all the time it took to completely cover a kitchen in coffee, get electrocuted and make your best friend cry.

God, I solemnly swear that if I don't kill him before then, on his eighteenth birthday I'm kicking him out the second the clock hits 12:00.

I hope you guys liked the story! :) Byes!