A/ N: yes, I am trash for not updating my existing fanfics, but ideas for other stories keep coming to me. Hopefully I'll have time to write more soon. Enjoy :)

(This is for gratiartis)

A somewhat un-tame? heterosexual sex scene follows. Read at your own discretion.

As always, I know my spacing is a little funky, but it makes the dialogue easier to follow in my opinion.

"Robert Simpson Petrie, I need you to take me the moment you get home from work, do you understand me?" Laura Petrie had been hormonal to say the least since the start of her second trimester.

"Y-yes, dear. I can bring home a quart of ice cream," her husband, Rob Petrie, said into the telephone so that his coworkers, Buddy and Sally Sorrell, wouldn't be too suspicious. It was hard not to draw suspicion with the effect that his wife had on him. Lately, she had been ravenous, and it was hard for him to leave her in the morning.

"Don't you dare stop at the grocery store, Rob," Laura was cut off when her husband hung up the telephone.

"You can't fool us, Rob," Buddy said and put an arm around Sally. "Come on, Sal. Let's let Mr. In the Family Way get on home to his wife."

"We've been there before, haven't we, Buddy?" She kissed her husband's cheek. "I guess it's only right that we repay our chief for all of those times he let us leave early when we were trying for Adam."

"I guess so," Buddy patted Rob on the back. "Good luck. You better get back to New Rochelle before she leaves you," he teased.

"Thanks, gang," Rob smiled. "Just call me tonight if you two need help with the husband and wife sketch."

He practically bolted out to his car, though he tried to maintain some semblance of decorum.

As he drove home, he tried to keep both his eyes and mind on the road, but images of his wife drifted into his head and made it difficult to concentrate on much of anything other than how much he needed to see her.

Traffic wasn't too terrible given that he had left earlier than usual, and he pulled up to 148 Bonnie Meadow Road about ten minutes quicker than expected.

He always wanted to sneak up on her, but she always seemed to know what he was doing. Nevertheless, he tried his best to be quiet as he came into the house. He nearly tripped over the darn ottoman but managed to narrowly avoid it much to his relief.

Laura wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, the garage, or the laundry room.

"Where could she be?" He whispered to himself before he walked into the bedroom to find her in the bed.

She must have fallen asleep while she was waiting for him. The only article of clothing she was wearing was a black, somewhat sheer negligee that had ridden up slightly as she slept to expose a strip of skin. He couldn't help but notice the definite curve to her belly and the way her hair fell over her shoulders. It was getting so long, and he adored it.

Her hair and stomach weren't the only things that were growing, and he couldn't stop himself from staring. He watched her slow, even breathing, the rise and fall of her chest. She was absolute perfection.

They had been trying to have a baby for ten long years before she had finally turned up pregnant nearly five months ago. The first trimester had been awful for her. The nausea was constant, and there was no escaping the fatigue. Once she hit the thirteenth week mark though, it was smooth sailing. Their relationship had only become stronger. They had certainly tested each other's physical capabilities as of late, and he couldn't be more proud to be her husband and the one who had finally given her a baby.

He slowly started to trace his fingertips over her breasts through the thin fabric of her negligee.

"Mm, what are you doing home so early?" She smiled at him sleepily. His teasing caused her to awaken.

"The gang let me leave early. They figured you could use a little help. I didn't know you would be waiting for me like this though," his breath hitched in his throat.

"I couldn't help it," she let out a yawn. "I didn't intend to fall asleep though."

"Well you couldn't help it; you're growing a baby," he brushed a strand of her long, dark hair back behind her ear.

"That I am," her whole face lit up as her arms snaked around his neck.

"Now...where was I?" He gazed into her eyes.

He would never be able to describe the intricacies of her eyes even if he lived for a hundred years. They were otherworldly, and though he wrote about her all the time, he could never quite capture the depth of them. If anyone asked, he would just say that they were brown, but they were so much more than that. They were a vivid cocoa color with a dark center that entranced him as though he were gazing into a crystal ball. In a way, they seemed to hold galaxies of their own.

He shook his head a little as he realized that he was completely lost in her, and his gaze hadn't even migrated south.

He carefully studied the lines around her eyes and marveled at the stories that they told.

The lines around her mouth told the story of the death of their first child, the passing of her father, and the conflicting emotions she experienced at finding out that she was expecting again. They had tried for ten years. They wanted this, but it didn't make it any less scary. He knew how she felt to a certain extent, and he brought his lips to hers before he kissed the lines around her mouth, the lines that told what an emotional creature she was, what she had gone through.

He marveled at the small sound she made deep in her throat as her eyes closed. Next, he kissed her eyelids, completely void of makeup as they were. The lines around her eyes were next as his hands began to move through her hair.

"Rob." She tried to speak, but he gently quieted her.

"Today is all about you. Let me show you how I feel."

She relented, her forehead resting against his.

He inhaled her scent, a combination of sweet perfume (or toilet water as he heard the women in Laura's dance class refer to it) and summer time. Though he always reminded her to wear sunscreen, she never seemed to take his advice. Freckles dotted her cheeks, nose, and shoulders. He admired them for a moment before he lifted her into his arms.

Her legs wrapped around his torso, and she gazed at him uncertainly, her arms back around his neck.

Rob carried her as though she were his bride all over again.

Laura didn't know where he was taking her, but she didn't ask any questions. The suspense was part of the excitement.

"Here we are," he murmured in her ear as he set her down on the island in their kitchen.

Laura loved that island. It had cabinets on either side of it and plenty of storage space, but she had never dreamed of performing sexual acts anywhere but the bedroom.

"Huh?" She looked at him confusedly before his hands found her thighs.

"Shh," he lightly traced patterns on the sensitive skin of her legs. "It's about time we do something a little different after so many years of marriage." He was taking a big chance, but he had a feeling that his wife had grown bored with him. He knew that she would never admit it, but this was his chance to spice things up.

"Y-yes, darling," her face flushed, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She liked it when he was like this, so spontaneous and commanding. It wasn't often that she got to see him behave in such a way.

"Just let me help you," he whispered in her ear as he began to explore her body. Within no time, his thumbs were tracing over her nipples, and his mouth was discovering hers.

Her moans soon turned into gasps as her tongue fought with his for dominance. His hands moved down her body, tracing the sides of it as if she were a drawing. To him, she was a walking, talking work of art, and he would treat her delicately unless she requested a different kind of treatment. He lifted the little bit of clothing that she was wearing and pulled it off over her head. Once it was out of the way, the passionate kissing could continue. Only after he felt thoroughly intoxicated from her kisses did he dare lower his lips to other areas of her body.

Her chest was the first thing that caught his attention, and he dipped his head to meet it. Lips raw from kissing brushed against a sensitive nipple, and he felt her hands in his hair both encouraging and warning him.

"This is a nice development," he murmured against her collarbone before he went back to teasing her.

"R-Rob." It came out as a whimper a few minutes later, and he let up on what he had been doing long enough to bring his lips back up to meet hers.

There was something that felt wrong about what they were doing, and he knew that she had noticed it. They had been married for nearly twelve years, but just knowing that one of their nosy neighbors could spot them through the glass door was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying.

"Don't worry so much, baby," he gazed into those eyes, those multidimensional, otherworldly eyes.

"I'm not worried," she said in her soft voice. "I just want you to quit teasing me," she gave him a meaningful look.

"Oh?" He felt his pants grow tighter, and he moved in closer to her.

"Mhm." She reached down and started to undo his belt.

His hand moved on top of hers, and he brought her hand to his lips so that he could kiss it while he maintained eye contact with her. The next thing he knew, his pants were crumpled up at his feet. Similarly, his underwear was discarded.

"All right. Faster. I get the idea," he picked her back up, and set her on the counter. He kissed the space between her breasts and then continued his descent. His lips paused briefly on the growing swell of her abdomen, and he looked up at her lovingly as he massaged her hips.

"Faster," she repeated what he had said until she saw the goofy smile on his face that symbolized that he understood what she was saying.

"Yes, dear," he positioned her a little bit differently so that her arms were supporting her weight while her legs dangled off the side of the counter.

Soon, his lips were on her thighs, and she thought she might melt from the experience.

As his kisses became higher and more centrally located, her breathing grew heavier, and her pulse quickened. In their entire marriage, she had never felt pleasure like the kind that she was currently experiencing. He continued his antics until she screamed his name which was another first for the pair.

"I am so in love with you, Mrs. Petrie," he whispered. He clutched her trembling thighs and bumped his forehead against hers. "Is that what you were waiting for?"

Words were difficult for her to form for the first five minutes. After that, they came out somewhat haphazardly.

"Amazing," was the first word that she uttered that seemed to make any sense.

"That's what I hoped," he kissed her temple and lifted her into the air.

As her legs wrapped around him, she managed another phrase. "Pool table."

His eyebrows shot up, and he looked at her. "Really?"

She gave an eager and mischievous nod which prompted him to carry her down the stairs to the basement where their rock was located but also their pool table. He and his best friend, Jerry, frequently played pool on weeknights while Laura taught ballet. Tonight, was an interesting turn of events. It seemed that both he and Laura would be getting their exercise in.

He placed her down on the pool table as he had done when he set her on the counter. This time, however, she wasn't going to stay seated. One of her friends had informed her of a certain way to pleasure your husband that she had yet to try. She was nervous about it to say the least, but she figured that it was a night of firsts for them, and if he didn't like it, then she never had to do it again. She sank to her knees, barely giving her husband enough time to realize what she was doing before her tongue explored his manhood.

Rob's moans were louder than hers had been, and she took that as a good sign. She didn't know how long to continue, but she decided to stop when he was panting and groaning.

"Goddamnit, Laura," he breathed as she pressed herself against him and kissed him deeply. "Turn around."

She knew that she could have said no, and that would be the end of it, but she kind of liked it how he commanded her, and she bent over, gripping the pool table for support.

The entire time, he told her sweet nothings. He wanted to be sure to make her feel as loved as possible though it wasn't necessary. She had never and would never love a man as much as she loved Robert Petrie.

"You're mine now," he sang to her as they laid on the floor in the afterglow.

"You wonderful you." She closed her eyes and fell asleep against his chest.

He traced his finger down the small of her back before his arms wrapped around her and his palms flattened against her belly. He wasn't sure what the future would hold for them, but he was beyond hopeful that it would turn out to be wonderful with her by her side. He decided that he would start painting the nursery the following day. Buddy and Sally owed him a day off, and if he was lucky, just maybe he wouldn't get the painting finished. He smiled as he watched his gorgeous wife sleep for the second time that day.

"I love you," he whispered. "You wonderful you."