Blond Jokes 9: The Final Act

Disclaimer: you think DN Angel would be a dying fandom if I owned?

AN: Well everyone, it took years but the series that started off as a funny idea that popped into my head one day during College Algebra class is finally complete. There are now 16 stories in this series and this is the last. I hope you enjoy.

(Daisuke to Dark)

((Dark to Daisuke))

/Satoshi to Krad/

/Krad to Satoshi/


You know you can't avoid the thief forever."/ The teenage police commander stuck his hands in his pockets leaning against one of the museum pillars. The blue haired Hikari and tamer to one very obstinate artwork sighed softly at the stubborn silence from his companion. It had been two weeks since phantom Dark had admitted his feelings for his angelic counterpart and the hunter had been hiding ever since. The young police commander could somewhat understand his family curse's hesitancy but at the same time he believe that the blond should take a chance. The teen's attention was suddenly caught by a harsh dragging sound from behind him and he turned sapphire eyes widening in horror.


The blue haired teen suddenly found himself being violently shoved out of control of his body. Before he could protest the hunter's forceful take over something slammed with tremendous force into the ice demon's side sending the long haired blond artwork stumbling sideways. Satoshi felt something snap followed by a flash of pain from his curse. The hunter raised his left arm summoning a shield to block a second blow from the creature that had appeared behind his host. Krad gathered magic into a fireball in his right hand glaring at the beast before him. The thing looked like the unholy union between a gorilla and bowl. The creatures shaggy brown coat was ragged like something moths had gotten too while it's gleaming black eyes glittered with mindless fury.

/"Krad, what the hell is that?"/

/"I believe that it is the most recent Hikari Artwork that the thief was planning on stealing tonight."/

/"Can you stop it?"/ The teen's eyes widened a little in shock and alarm as he felt the icy seraph hesitate for a second before answering.

/"I… believe so."/

The rogue artwork swung the heavy wooden club it was carrying with a roar. Krad ducked letting the blow swing harmlessly over his head before throwing the fireball in his hand forming a second quickly. He was forced to jump back letting the golden magic dissipate in order to avoid the clubs return swing. The Hikari hunter fanned his wings rising quickly into the air reforming his fireball which he launched at the bowl's head. Pale lips curled into a smirk as a third fireball was formed. He would have to thank the thief the next time he saw the purple haired idiot, his aim had drastically improved thanks to all the practice he'd gotten lately in his battles with the kaito.

Although the artwork before him was huge at least twelve feet tall and it would just be embarrassing if he couldn't hit something that large. He summoned more fireballs throwing them one after the other forcing the beast to stumble back across the chamber snarling in fury. The ice demon curled his wings about his body gathering his magic before snapping his wings open to their fullest extent sending a hail of sharp glowing feathers at the gorilla bowl.

The monster roared in rage crashing to it's knees from the hunter's last attack. Dropping it's club to the floor the beast gathered his energy leaping at the white angel hovering in the air over his head.

Satoshi watched in horror as the creature's large hand wrapped tightly around his curse's right leg yanking the blond out of the air with an indignant squawked and slamming him into the floor with enough force to crack the stones. /"Krad!/"

The flaxen haired artwork groaned rolling over struggling to his feet disorientated from his impact with the unforgiving marble tiles. The hunter lifted one gloved hand pressing it to his pounding head. The light entities wings were limp allowing his long snowy primary feathers to drag against the ground.


Dark sighed morosely as he glided through the silent and dim museum halls. He was hoping to see his lovely counterpart tonight and maybe talk to him. The thief cocked his head eyebrows drawing together into a confused frown as his ears picked up the sounds of a fight from the chamber before him.

("What on earth?") Daisuke blinked frowning slightly.

(("Not sure Dai,")) the black feathered entity cautiously entered the display chamber only to freeze in the air. Amethyst eyes widened stunned and horrified at the scene before him. His angelic counterpart was struggling to his feet to face down a giant bowl thing that was raising it's club with the clear intent of bringing the weapon crashing down on the hunter's golden head. He ignored the strangled little sound from his tamer snarling in fury purple magic gathering around his hands.


Krad shook his head clearing his vision just in time to see the creature's club swinging down towards his head. The hunter gasped curling his wings in front of his body in an attempt to lessen the blow that he had no time to dodge. Amber feline eyes widened in surprise as the beast was blasted back by a purple fireball.

The phantom thief fanned his wings landing protectively in front of his counterpart, "you okay?"

"Well enough," the hunter hid his wince as he stepped up beside his opposite.

Tan lips pursed the thief not really believing the other half of his soul but they didn't have time to argue right now because the gorilla bowl was back on it's feet and glaring at both angels. "We will have to work together," Dark gathered his magic smiling slightly as Krad also gathered his power. Both halves of the Kokuyoku smirked at the beast.

The Rogue artwork roared in fury swinging it's club wildly at the two angel's hurling fireballs at it's head. Purple and gold sparks of magic veiled the beast vision making the monster's swings random but still dangerous. However it only took one second of inattention from the phantom thief and one lucky swing from the creature to turn the tide of the battle.

Dark cried out in pain and surprise as the gorilla bowl's club slammed into his chest sending him crashing into the wall. He slid to the floor dazed his counterpart's alarmed yell echoing in his ears.

The creature stamped across the room focused on the downed magical entity.

Krad twisted slamming a fireball directly into the gorilla bowl's face successfully distracting it from the fallen thief. However he wasn't quite fast enough to completely avoid the beast retaliate strike, The white angel cried out as jagged claws sank into his side just below his ribs,

Amethyst eye snapped open at the pained scream from his counterpart. The thief was just in time to see the blond hunter get slammed once more to the floor by a vicious strike from the rogue's club. This time though Krad didn't get up only able to lay on the stones gasping for air completely winded and unable to move.

The gorilla bowl roared in triumph lifting his club to finish his downed enemy.

"NO!" Dark lunged to his feet throwing out both hands towards the rogue artwork. Their magic protected and strengthened their host's body but even with the added durability and quick healing they couldn't survive having their head crushed. He gathered every scrap of magic he had left and then reached out drawing desperately on Daisuke's energy as well before flinging the uncontrolled force at the gorilla bowl blasting it into ash.

The purple haired thief ran across the room dropping to his knees reaching out towards the other half of his soul, his only love, "please be okay." He sighed in relief as the ice demon groaned sitting up slowly. Dark smiled weakly, "so what's more attractive than a blond?" He reached out stroking his fingers gently along a pale cheek, "a blond angel," amethyst eyes then rolled back and the kaito slumped bonelessly against his counterpart unable to remain conscious due to magical exhaustion,

Golden eyes widened, "Mousy?" The hunter's arms unconsciously slid around the black clad angel pulling the thief's limp body closer in a protective embrace.

/"Do you think you have enough energy left to get the both of you to the Niwas?"/ Satoshi shifted worriedly in the back of his curse's mind. The teen sighed softly as he felt Krad's reluctant acknowledgment, /"listen you both need medical attention the Niwas can
help you both."/

/"Why would the Niwas help me? I am their enemy,"/ the hunter shook his head.

The blue haired teen's lips twitched slightly, /"not for much longer if the thief has anything to say about it."/ He then waved a hand, /"anyway, you need someone to take a look at your wounds and they are the only ones that you can really go to who won't ask a lot of difficult questions."/ The last Hikari's tone then turned serious, /"you're hurting."/

The hunter breathed out a soft sigh. He would go because he needed to get the thief back to his humans but the long haired blond highly doubted that the Niwa family would show him any kind of compassion after all he was the Hikari's demon. Moving carefully Krad climbed to his feet gathering up his counterpart into his arms. The ice angel bit down on his lip to prevent the groan of pain as he extended his wings. He could feel his tamers worry but ignored it for now. There was nothing that his Host could do even if he gave control back to the teen Satoshi would be crippled from their injuries. He could handle pain, it wasn't like he hadn't done so in the past.

Taking one more deep breath the blond rose into the air struggling for a moment with the thief's weight before he turned gliding from the chamber and out an open window at the end of the hall. The hunter's trip across the city was quick in spite of his condition and all to soon the lights of the Niwa house were glowing below him.

The Hikari hunter fanned his wings landing heavily on the Niwa Boy's balcony stumbling slightly under the combine weight of his unconscious opposite and his own exhaustion. A sharp jab of his magic had the doors swinging in and the blond stepped into the room carefully laying the kaito on the floor where the humans could easily get to him. He then flared his magic alerting the Niwa household of his presence.

Downstairs three pairs of eyes widened in shock and alarm. The teacup Emiko was holding slipped from her fingers to shatter on the kitchen floor. She silently looked at her dad and husband before the three of them ran for the stairs.

Krad backed up almost to the balcony doors before dropping to one knee pressing a hand to his left side. He could feel blood trickling along his skin from the puncture wounds from the rogue artwork's claws that hadn't had time to heal yet. The white angel shifted grimacing slightly he also most likely had a few broken ribs from the fight as well. He had been unable to block the beast's first blow that he'd taken to protect his tamer. As well as being slammed forcefully to the floor several times. He and his host were going to hurt from this battle for several days but at least he'd taken the first blow that would have severely injured Satoshi if not out right killed him.

Emiko was the first to reach her son's room throwing open the door brown eyes quickly taking in the scene, Dark was laying motionless on the floor other then the slight rise and fall of his chest showing that the kaito was alive, She then spotted the white angel before the balcony doors. The Hikari curse looked battered and seemed to be attempting to make himself less threatening, The Niwa matriarch pursed her lips quickly stepping in and hurrying over to the purple haired thief's side with her father only a step or so behind.

Kosuke who had paused behind his father in law and wife moved carefully across the room past the other two humans now fussing over the phantom thief to stand before the Hikari ice demon. He slowly crouched down eyes sweeping over the white clad entity quickly taking in the blood staining his coat and how tired the creature looked. "What happened?" dark brown eyes locked with golden feline orbs.

"I was attacked by a rogue artwork and Mousy aided me in the fight." The blond shifted sucking in a harsh breath as he inadvertently jostled his ribs. "The thief is the one who stopped it in the end using all of his magic to destroy the beast,"

Emiko glanced over a little nervous of how close her husband was to the violent blond artwork but they needed to know what happened so they could help Dark and her son.

"Hmm," Kosuke nodded, "Dark is suffering from magical exhaustion then."

"Yes," the hunter nodded carefully trying to move as little as possible. "He was also slammed into the wall rather hard by the creature's club."

Kosuke nodded again listening to his wife and father in law taking stalk of the phantom thief's injuries and what they would need to treat him.

As Daiki climb to his feet he locked eyes with his son in law, "I'll bring the second medical kit for you." The elderly thief hurried from the room to gather the required medical supplies.

The Younger male Niwa turned his attention once more to the Hikari Hunter noticing that the blond was preparing to get to his feet most likely to leave. He held up a hand, "before you leave, at least allow me to check your wounds." Kosuke watched as the angel's face blanked in surprise, he could also see the hesitation in golden eyes.

"Why?" Krad couldn't help the suspicious tone that had crept into his voice.

The black haired man carefully spread his hands, "you are hurt and need help."

Krad shifted slightly struggling with himself He'd fought the Niwa family for hundreds of years but here this man was offering to help him. His host remained silent allowing the blond to make the final choice. Golden eyes glanced over at the unconscious thief before closing, "very well then, thank you."

Daiki hurried back into the room carrying the medical kits. He handed one to Emiko and then turned handing the second one to his son in law. "Do you need my help or can you handle it on your own?"

Kosuke glanced over at the wary light entity shaking his head, "I think I can handle it. Go and help Emiko," he placed the kit on the floor opening the lid. The black haired man then glanced up, "I need you to take off your coat, I want to get a good look at those wounds that are bleeding." He worked in silence only speaking to give the magical entity directions or asking him questions on how he was feeling. He finally sat back after about fifteen minutes of work, "there, that should do it for now. You'll want to change the dressing on those punctures about twice a day until they are healed. You also should keep your ribs wrapped for several days." He closed up the medical kit, "I know that you and Dark heal faster then humans but try and take it easy for a while."

Krad carefully slipped his coat back on inclining his head carefully, "thank you again." The white angel slowly got to his feet slipping through the balcony doors and into the night.

X-The Next Night-X

Daisuke Niwa's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as his magical companion shifted in his mind sighing loudly. Both tamer and thief were pretty much on house arrest until his mom felt that they were well enough to leave. The fight last night had ended up with both teen and angel being bruised and tired but after a full day of nothing but rest both were feeling much better. However that didn't matter to Emiko Niwa who was determined to keep them in bed for another few days.

The young red head knew why his companion was so restless the thief wanted to go and check on his counterpart who had also been hurt in the fight. But that wasn't going to happen, His mom made sure to come in and check on them every thirty minutes or so and even Dark wasn't crazy enough to try and sneak out under her watchful eye. A soft sound over by the balcony doors caught the teen's attention and he turned ruby eyes widening in surprise. ("Hey Dark, Krad's here.") The young thief waved at the blond angel before releasing control of his body to the phantom thief.

Amethyst eyes lit up in delight, "Kraddy-kins." The black angel bounded out of the chair his host had been sitting in diving across the room to wrap his arms around the ice demon's neck. He then pulled back regarding the other angel critically. The hunter looked fine but then again with all the layers of clothing that the blond normally wore it was hard to tell. The thief then spotted something that made his lips curve up into a large happy grin. There at the bottom of his counterpart's ponytail was the silver and crystal cross he'd given his opposite several weeks ago. The cross that he hadn't seen the ice demon ware since that night. He looked up locking eyes with the other half of his soul, "you're wearing my gift."

The hunter shifted, "yes."

Dark smile became cautious, "does this mean…?"

"What do you think it means thief?" The hunter rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"I think it means," Dark leaned in close so their lips were only a breath apart. "That I can do this and not worry about you trying to blast me." He closed the rest of the distance between their mouths. The thief tentatively ran his tongue across the hunter's closed lips silently asking for entry. He felt the white angel hesitate for a moment before the blond parted his lips granting him access. The phantom sighed in happiness as he explored his opposite's warm willing mouth.

This is the scene that Emiko and the two male Niwas walked in on several minutes later. Three pairs of eyes widened in surprise before Kosuke held out his hand smiling slightly as the other two placed coins into his waiting palm.

Dark finally reluctantly pulled back turning his head to smile at his human family, "uh, well, we're not enemies anymore."

"Idiot," the blond hunter lightly slapped his counterpart upside the head.

Emiko coughed, "we can see that." She smiled in amusement. She then turned her eyes to regard the long haired angel, "welcome to the family." She then smiled a bit more, "and thank you for bringing Dark back home last night."

"No problem," Krad shrugged wiggling out of the phantoms grip stepping away slightly. "I could not just leave him there." The blond then turned starting for the balcony doors, "I will see you later thief, Satoshi-sama has school in the morning and we should be getting home."

"Hey Kraddy?" The phantom thief smiled as his counterpart paused, "what's a blond's favorite color?"

The long haired hunter turned slowly to stair coldly at his opposite with an unamused expression.

In the depths of the kaito's mind Daisuke slapped his forehead in exasperation. ("Really Dark? You just blew it and you've not even been a couple for more then five minutes. I mean, seriously…!?")

Krad slowly began to advance on his now nervous looking opposite. He finally stopped in front of the purple haired angel amber eyes blank and unreadable, The blond gathered a little of his magic around his right hand reaching out using thumb and forefinger to flick the darker being right between the eyes.

The thief yelped a little at the slight sting of golden magic reaching up to rub at the spot with one hand, "ouch."

"Bad Mouse," the Hikari curse then blinked listening to his tamer for a second before golden eyes focused once more on the phantom. "Satoshi-sama wishes me to inform you of a doghouse?" the flaxen haired entity cocked his head looking slightly confused,

Dark's mouth dropped open, "Oy, Creep! You're not supposed to tell him about that!"

The three adult Niwas snorted in amusement.

The hunter turned away from his counterpart starting towards the balcony doors once more. "Satoshi-sama, I wish to hear more of this doghouse concept."

The last Hikari settled back in his companion's mind smirking, /"well you see, when someone is in the doghouse…"/

Dark groaned dropping his face into his hands, well that hadn't gone as planed..

Krad paused on the balcony railing wings spread to glance over his shoulder, "oh, for the records thief, I prefer dove dark chocolates… or raspberries… or pears."

Daisuke blinked, once, twice, and then burst out laughing. ("You heard him Dark, better stock up because I can see you putting yourself in the doghouse a lot.")

(("Thanks a lot Dai-chan."))

The red head merely snickered louder at the waves of indignation from the phantom thief. Life sure had gotten interesting since he'd turned fourteen.

The End


AN: Here is a list of all of My Blond Jokes Stories in order:

1. Blond Jokes

2. More Blond Jokes

3. Blond Jokes ½ Frozen

4. Blond Jokes 3 At the Cliffs

5. Blond Jokes 3 ½ Bring Me to Life

6. Blond Jokes 3 ¾ The Dreamer's Crown

7. Blond Jokes 4 Feelings Under the Oak Tree

8. Blond Jokes 4 ½ Crash and Burn

9. Blond Jokes 4 ¾ A Night Conversation

10. Blond Jokes 5 Night of the Fan Girl

11. Blond Jokes 6 Before the Final Bell

12. Blond Jokes 7 Exchange

13. What Now… Chapter 4 in The Light In the Shadows Series

14. Blond Jokes 7 ½ Standing Outside the Fire

15. Blond Jokes 8 Confession

16. Blond Jokes 9 The final Act

There may be others added in the future little one shots that take place between the existing fics but honestly I'm not sure. I also thought about doing a lemon for this series so if I do it will be Blond Jokes 10.

A final Thanks to everyone who has reviewed in the past and to anyone who reviews in the future. This series was a blast to right and it all started with one little random idea. Thank you everyone, this series probably would have never become a series with out you readers. You motivated me to expand on one little bunny and it turned into this empire of stories.