So Sorry it's been forever. I have no good excuses except I lost my drive to write. I dealt with some tough stuff but now I'm back and I really hope you like this chapter. It's definitely going to be a little rough.

"ZAY!" I know it was late and I shouldn't be banging on his door or screaming his name in his hallway but I needed to talk to him.

"Maya? I just missed your call were you already here?"

"No. I ran from the party… I made a discovery and I needed to talk to you."

"Well by all means come in, Einstein" Zay attempted a lame joke as I walked in his apartment. I quickly made my way to his "hang-out" room and got comfy on the plush bean bag.

"So, I saw Josh tonight..." I started as he made his way into the room.

"Oh? How'd that go? Did you jump on his back?" Zay laughed at his own lame joke only making me glare at him.

"Zay, I know I've said it before but I was never in love with you and I think I know why now." Zay's eyes quickly flickered up to mine as he sat on the floor across from me.

"It was because of Josh. I already knew that, why didn't you?"

"Earlier tonight I thought I loved him. I know I don't but what I feel for him is so much stronger than what I ever felt for you I guess I was scared so I willed myself into believing I loved you." I searched Zay's eyes hoping to see his reaction. He seemed to be thinking, I don't think what I said hurt him but he was seriously considering something.

"Maya, I knew you didn't love me like I loved you. We work better as friends. I also knew that you still had feelings for Josh because you wouldn't bring me to any Matthew's gatherings that Josh was at. If by chance, we did see him you were even less prone to show any PDA. I'm not going to say it didn't hurt but I learned to deal and I also discovered that I was ok with losing you to him."

"Zay, I'm so sorry I was such a terrible girlfriend. You deserve so much better than that, then me."

"You weren't terrible, you were actually pretty great but you stiffened every time I kissed you and you would mumble his name in your sleep"

"I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me?"

"I loved you. Just getting a part of you was enough for me even if that meant Josh could swoop in at any moment and steal you away. You would be happy that's all I wanted and I know that at least for a time I was part of the reason you were happy."

"You're the best friend ever, Zay. After, Riley of course. I'm so glad I got to be loved by someone as amazing as you."

"I'm glad I got the chance to love and show how much I loved someone as incredible as you, Maya. Even if you didn't return those feelings. I think you should go for it with Josh. I also think if you do you aren't ever going to have to worry about dating ever again."

"You think I'm ready for that kind of commitment? I mean we haven't graduated yet?"

"I think with anybody else, no. However, you and Josh have proven time and time again that you can bring out the best in each other and there isn't anybody else in this world worthy of you."

"I don't know what I would do without you in my life Zay" I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek as I silently made my way out of his apartment and heart. I was on my way to a new life and thus I had to leave the comfort of falling back into the safety of Zay behind.

As I wandered back to my apartment I couldn't help but wonder if Zay was right. Was I really ready to be with Josh for the rest of my life? I quickly went to my bag and fished out an old ring that I hadn't worn but had carried with me for several years.

This ring had been given to me by Josh right after ski lodge. A way to remember our promise of someday. It was a simple silver ring with a small black diamond surrounded by metal lines almost like vines. It was engraved too. "Someday, I'll get you a real one." -Josh

As I put the ring back on my finger and looked up to cross the street huge blinding lights blocked my view. Then everything went black and all I could feel was a pain in my back and a warm feeling spreading from underneath me.