12Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the set
Not a creature was stirring, not even Penelope Taynt(ed),
The stockings were hung on the dressing rooms with care,
In hopes that the security guard soon would be there. Josh and Drake were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions of their own T.V. show danced in their heads,
And Amanda in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long director free nap...
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away up to the attic I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and threw up my corned beef hash.
The spotlight on the breast of the new-fallen dandruff snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny lobster-reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and corny,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Barney.
More rapid than shrimp cocktail his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"On, Dasher! On, Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As Spalding and Sternum that before the wild Moody fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Barney too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard like a saw
The prancing and pawing of each sharp claw.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Barney came with a bound.
He was dressed all in badges, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes - how they twinkled - his dimples how dumb!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a plum!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as nonexistent as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a little round face and a huge round belly
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; with beef y-of-jerk,
Grabbing Amanda by her little nose,
Handing her a sandwich, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his teams gave a whistle,
And away they all flew as if in their butt, they had the point of a thistle.
But I heard Penelope exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Where's Amanda? Oh, well, Sweet Night!"