Animaniacs is owned by Warner Bros., I don't claim any of them as mine, same as with any other franchise I use in here, they're not mine either.
This is a one-shot. This is not related to my "A Dare Gone Zany" storyline.
Varied theme song line of the day: Wakko, Yakko and Dot were smiling and standing in front of a treadmill which was running with an oblivious Ralph on it chasing a donut on a string. The three of them zipped away after they sang their line: "No time to explain-ey!"
Tower Escape of the Day: It seemed to be a quiet day at the Warner Movie lot, the water tower of course standing tall above a good majority of the buildings. In fact, it seemed too quiet. Then there were some hissing sounds coming from the tower, along with some smoke coming out of the bottom of the tower. Inside, Yakko, Wakko and Dot were pushing some buttons in what seemed like a space-shuttle cockpit, pulling levers and such and dressed as astronauts. When Wakko broke one off and ate it though, that was the one that started the launch, which due to Wakko, mistook it for lunch. A sudden burst of rocket fire came from the bottom of the tower and made it slowly ascend, gradually making it pick up speed as it was sent into the air, into the sky.
It was around midday as we get a sweeping shot of a small city with a big history museum, zooming into that specific building as various people walked in and out. It had just opened and there was a tour being planned for a group of kids, mostly 4th and 5th-graders, to go through the various exhibits. Half the kids looked bored and the teacher had practically forced them to go, passing through glass cases of labelled ancient creatures like dinosaurs, cavemen, mammoths and Bea Arthur.
The teacher let out a sigh of content, finding it so much fun to visit a place of education he hadn't seen yet. "Now, isn't this a great place, seeing all of these new creatures and artifacts?" He told the group of kids.
The kids groaned a bit out of boredom, some even thought it was as bad as school. "I'd rather watch Garfield 2." Said one kid.
The teacher scowled at that. "Now I know that's a complete lie." He said with crossed arms. The teacher was dressed in a red collared shirt and long black pants, with slightly long hair going down to his shoulders as well as having glasses on.
"Nah, you're right." Another kid said with their arm raised this time. As it turned out, that voice belonged to Yakko, with Wakko and Dot tagging along for the trip. The teacher nodded at that with a "hmph". "We'd rather watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 instead." Yakko added, with the others chuckling to themselves. The teacher was not pleased, turning right to the three siblings and walking over to them already angry.
"Look here, this museum is giving me a bonus for this tour if this goes well, and your school doesn't need another trouble-making group like you bringing it down!" The teacher said, pointing to the Warners with a shaking hand and pointed finger. "You three are only here because Ms. Flamiel is in another institution, so pipe down or it's taking turns being the football mascot for the school down the road!" He shouted louder, with the other museum guests looking at the group weirdly.
The Warners seemed practically unfazed by this. "Already sounds like a day in Al Pacino's house." Yakko said simply.
The teacher adjusted his collar, smiling nervously as the other kids snickered. "I'm gonna need some help..." He said as he brought one of the curators to the group of kids. "Hey you, come with me! We got a group of kids in need of a tour here!" He said with a tense tone.
The curator looked a bit disgruntled at being forced into a tour with kids, but he bared with it as he walked over to him, making sure to get a little distance between him and the other angry man. "Well then, if you'll please follow me." He said simply, the group following after him as he started walking along, with the teacher in the back.
After passing out pamphlets to the student, they arrived at their next destination filled with more glass cases. It looked like the section was dedicated to prehistoric times. "So, here we have the infamous cartoonus characterus, the species everyone says we evolved from, yet a species devoid of any class as you can see." The curator said. As the kids looked into the glass, they saw what looked like the Warner Brothers and Sister dressed in caveman clothes, standing perfectly still with smiles, with Dot and Yakko frozen in a dance while Wakko was about to eat a rock. The kids snickered at that sight, catching the attention of the curator.
"Yes yes, I know they're very humorous, but- Huh? Wait a minute, I don't remember seeing them in there..." The curator said with a weird expression. The kids looked on and the teacher walked to the front of the group.
"What're you talking about, aren't you supposed to know these things?" The teacher said a little more calmer now. The Warners started mimicking the two from behind the glass as they talked, the kids giggling to themselves before the two adults looked back at the glass. The Warners were in different poses now, with Yakko and Dot rubbing Wakko's ears to try and start a fire. This kept going with more poses such as a still of whacking each other with clubs, doing handstands, the can-can and holding up picket signs. Dot's said "Mel Gibson got snubbed" with a frowning face, Wakko's was a picture of a hot dog and Yakko's said "Hope your throat feels better soon, me", in regards to Rob Paulsen.
The teacher got fed up soon after and tapped the glass. "Hey, what're you even doing in there?" He said a bit angrily again.
The Warners then all relaxed and frowned at the teacher. "Do you mind, we're trying to get our modeling poses down for GQ's prehistoric issue." Dot said with her hands on her hips, picket sign still in hand. There was even a photographer scowling at the teacher too, waving him off.
"Oh, sorry." The teacher said, looking away for a second before an alarm sounded in his head. "What the?!" He shouted, turning around to see the cavemen Warners were gone and so was the photographer. The curator was also confused, looking around before the Warners were back with the group of kids. "Wait, what- Where'd you go?!" The teacher shouted, looking very confused. "What were those-"
"Stunt doubles." Yakko said with a shrug. "How do you think 'Old Dogs' got made, no one was really there!" He added.
The curator looked curious. "Hmm... Where do you think I could get one?" He asked.
The teacher looked to the other adult and ran right up to him before the Warners could answer. "You see what I have to deal with?! Those three make this class unbearable!" He whined.
"Well we WOULD bring some bears, but then we'd have to pay Cartoon Network royalties if we did." Yakko said with crossed arms. Wakko and Dot shuddered at that thought.
The curator just waved off the teacher's ramblings. "Oh come now, they're just having fun, this place is very stuffy anyway." The curator said in admittance.
"I got just the thing for that!" Wakko said with a giant pill in his hands and Dot with a dehumidifier, both in doctor's clothes.
"Somebody call Dr. Warner, Dr. Warner and Dr. Warner?" Dot said with a bright smile.
Yakko nudges the curator's side as the older Warner Brother watched his siblings work. "They learn so fast, don't they?" He said to the adult who was backing up from the other siblings.
The teacher just growled and plucked Wakko and Dot from the floor, clutching them in his hands. "Can we just go on with the tour?" He said with a stern look.
Wakko then jumped onto the teacher's head. "Where're we going then? Are we gonna go to Universal?" He said excitedly.
Yakko soon joined him and hopped on too. "Are we gonna get Ben Stiller's autograph too?"
Dot also hopped on, making the teacher struggle to hold them all up at once. "I wanna go to the Hollywood Globe Theatre, I know I can act in Hamilton!" The kids watching were laughing so much at seeing their angry teacher try to handle these three.
"I thought you were gonna be in Stomp." Yakko responded.
"No, that's Wakko." Dot said, to which Wakko smiled brightly and goofy.
"Yeah, I got so lucky!" The middle sibling said with a bright and happy tone, getting his museum pamphlet out from under his had, in between two bread slices and ended up eating the whole thing. "History tastes like crackers." He mentioned with a smile as he rubbed his belly.
The teacher grunted and shook himself to try and get the siblings off of him before grabbing and tossing the Warners back to the group of kids. Some of them grabbed them to break their fall, and a few more said they wanted an autograph too. "No one's getting autographs! And no eating the museum stuff! Now come on!" He shouted, grabbing the curator and dragging him by the arm as the kids followed.
"Night at the Museum 4 is a lot louder than I thought it'd be." Dot said to herself.
"Don't worry, it's just in pre-production." Yakko assured her as the tour group went towards the aquatic section on the museum, complete with a big aquarium hallway nearby and with lots of different kinds fish both as models and alive in the other smaller tanks.
"Alright, can anyone tell me what this is?" The teacher said, pointing above to the ceiling to what looks like a model of a whale suspended in the air.
"Oh oh oh, I know I know, pick me, I know!" Yakko shouted, jumping and hopping and smiling as he kept his hand raised. "I know, I got it, I got it!"
The teacher pointed at the older sibling. "Alright, what is it then?"
Yakko, Wakko and Dot gathered in a huddle and talked some gibberish to each other before breaking the huddle some seconds later. "The special guest mammal from Finding Dory!"
The teacher was about to yell again, but tried to keep his calm. "Sort of, but what is it really?"
"The Kardashians after 20 more years of surgeries?" Dot guessed.
"Ooh, our agent!" Wakko guessed too with a goofy smile, raising his hand.
"No, that's the chicken." Yakko reminded his middle brother.
"No no no! It's a humpback whale, a whale!" The teacher shouted, gripping his hair tightly and frustrated.
"Oh. I knew that." Yakko said with a shrug.
"Then why didn't you say it?!" The teacher responded loudly.
"'Cause you looked like someone that was well caught up on kid's movies." The older sibling said, hands on his hips while the other siblings shook their heads. "For shame." He added.
The teacher groans more and almost tore his hair off, the curator noticing and getting a glass of water to splash it on his face. "Grr, why'd you do that, now I'm all wet!" He said as he shook his head and wiped his face. His head and shirt were a soaking mess by now, dripping onto the floor.
"I thought that would work in calming you down." The curator said simply with the empty glass in his hand.
"I'm not calm, I'm soaked! Now I gotta clean off..." The teacher said with a scowl as he left to dry off his face and shirt. If anything, that sudden splashing of water just got him more angry. "I really need a transfer to Shermer High School or something..." He muttered until he was out of view.
"Hm. Very irritable, isn't he?" The curator said as he looked over to the group of kids.
"You should've seen him when he found out Duck Dynasty got cancelled." Yakko said.
The curator hummed and decided to continue the tour without the teacher for now, walking towards the walk-through aquarium hall with lots of different fish swimming around. There were more than just red fish and blue fish in there, and more than one fish or two fish.
It was a particularly busy time for those fish swimming around the huge hallway tank as the kids looked on from behind the glass. "Yes yes now, it's all very interesting, but- Wait a minute, what is that?" He said curiously, the kids looking through the glass to see what was going on now.
Everyone but the curator laughed when they saw Yakko, Wakko and Dot swimming through the water in scuba gear, doing aquatic acrobatics and such. There was even slow music playing where Wakko was slow-waltzing with a bigger fish to the tune of Blue Danube Waltz for a little while. The music then changed to a faster tone where they were all tap-dancing, then switched to river-dancing on what seemed like thin air, or thin water in this case. Even some of the fish joined in sync with the Warners' dancing, growing into an aquatic dancing troupe.
"Get out of there, that is for the fish only!" The curator shouted at them. The three siblings held up their pointer finger at him, telling him to give it another minute.
The teacher came back all dry a bit later and was about to ask what was going on with everyone watching the walk-through tank like that, then he saw the underwater show going on and got extra angry, banging his hand on the glass. "Get out of that tank, that's not for kids like you to swim in!"
"Really? I thought our tricks were perfect for kids." Yakko said right behind the adults, both teacher and curator surprised as the brothers and sister were back in their normal clothing again and dry as a bone. "How did you- What were you doing in there?" The curator said, the teacher fighting not to shout at the Warners as he slowly looked like he was cracking, much to the other kids' amusement.
"Trying to think of ways to have made Waterworld more entertaining." Dot said with a proud smile.
"We even got you a present, Mr. Teacher!" Wakko said as he plopped a wet fish right into the teacher's hands, the fish soon coming alive with a smirk.
"Kiss me, I'm fresh!" The fish said in a French accent as the teacher let out a disgusted noise and tossed it away, making the kids laugh and made Dot gag at that pun.
"Goodnight everybody!" Yakko said to the readers.
"Bye, Mr. Fish!" Wakko said with a wave.
The teacher stomped back towards the siblings, steaming by now. "How many times did I tell you before we came to this place, no funny business!" He shouted with fists clenched.
"Aww, but that means Silly Inc. and Ballyhoo LLC are gonna take over now..." Yakko said sadly.
"And what are those?" The curator said with crossed arms. The three siblings pointed behind them, showing there was two big and wide adults, easily double-wide compared to what the teacher and curator were. They wore striped suits and tags that said their company names with silly face buttons right next to them, making the other two gulp at the bouncer-like people.
"Be lucky Crazy Corp. isn't here with them too." Dot said, almost like a warning.
The teacher immediately dropped his angry attitude, at least briefly. "Let's just continue this tour..." The teacher said shakily.
"Yes, agreed." The curator said a bit calmer as they backed away from the big guys. The huge men put multi-colored balloon hats on top of their heads, justifying their company names.
The group left the aquatic area to another place as the teacher tried to calm down by talking to himself quietly, the Warners following along with the group of kids in the back. "Hey, do you think you could show us how to do that?" One of the children said, a girl who was wearing a yellow hat and shorts and a red shirt, to Yakko.
"We could, but you'd have to sign a contract saying you'd never reveal the secrets." The older sibling responded with a smirk. "Or elsssssssse..." He added with a hiss, trying to look scary with a lit flashlight under his chin too.
"Or else what?" Another kid asked, a boy with their backpack on and wearing a red and yellow-striped shirt and blue jeans.
Wakko shrugged. "No lunch? That'd always get me sad." He said with a sad expression.
The teacher sighed and wasn't in the mood for much more annoyance as they approached the next section, which was about ancient civilizations. As the curator explained about stuff like the Mayans and Egyptians, the three Warners took it upon themselves to have some more fun, such as doing a standstill during an Egyptian dance, re-enacting the Pride Rock scene from The Lion King on top of one of the model pyramids, painting "Tut Rulez" with a paintbrush on one of the walls and signing it with their faces and so on. Every so often the teacher had to yell at the Warners again, and was almost about to climb the models to get them during one of those times when he was told by the curator it was forbidden.
The Warners didn't stop there though. They even put masks of their faces on some of the mannequins and they continued as the group walked, each dummy and mannequin soon having a Warner's face on them.
They were even about to put a Warner mask on Slappy who happened to be there, swatting it away and off of her face. "'Ey 'ey 'ey, I ain't that old yet!" Slappy said with a scowl and huff before walking off.
After another minute, the teacher stopped and started to look behind him, finally taking in the newly decorated, Warner-ized surroundings. The other kids looked rather impressed at the fast mask work while the teacher, already cracking before, grew more paranoid once he finally noticed just how many there were. "Wait a minute, where did all these come from... T-they all have the same faces as those kids..." The teacher said, sounding scared.
"There's plenty of us to go around after all!" Yakko said with a bright smile as he popped up from behind him.
"They'll outsell our Funko dolls soon enough!" Dot added as she sat down on the shoulders of one of the masked dummies.
The teacher had enough however, growling and soon gave chase. The three Warners smiled brightly and fled to another part of the museum, the group of kids giving chase too to see how interesting it would get to be.
The teacher kept chasing until he ended up losing them, panting heavily. He looked around at all the Warner-masked figures trying to figure out which one was real. He ended up tackling one which he thought moved, but it was a fake as he fell to the floor, the group of kids groaning in response with an "ouch" as the Yakko mask rolled along the floor.
"With tackling that strong, you'd make a great Browns lineman!" Yakko teased from above him on a perch, jumping off of it and on the teacher's head, doing a front-flip off of him and sticking the landing on the ground before running off somewhere else.
The teacher got back up and groaned, walking forward until he saw another bit of movement, stopping until he thought that was what he really saw. He saw some deliberate shaking and confirmed it was one of them, but alas, it was another fake, knocking the Dot mask off of that dummy.
"Good try! Not as pretty with a flower than me though!" Dot said in response from her hiding spot.
"He was gonna be my eating buddy too!" Wakko said as well as he popped up right next to her, both of them giving the dazed person an over-the-top and toony smooch in his face before both ran away. The teacher pulled at his hair in frustration and looked incredibly mad, running into a darkened part of the museum through a double-door entryway.
After some more wandering and fumbling in the dark, the scene soon got lit up with spotlights that popped up on the confused teacher like he was on a stage. A little later, music started playing to the tune of La Traviata with Dot on piano and Yakko as the conductor wearing a tuxedo.
Wakko also popped up in a tux, just finishing with drinking a full seltzer water bottle. The middle sibling started burping to the tune and pitch to the music proudly for a few lines, like the Great Wakkorotti he was. The teacher ran over and tried to tackle and grab him in a fit of rage. The spotlight then disappeared and so did Wakko, making the teacher grab thin air instead and made him trip and fall onto the ground.
Wakko reappeared on a podium above the teacher in another spotlight, burping some of the faster parts of Sabre Dance now to really test his burping skills, such as moving his lips during one long burp to change his pitch to follow the faster beats. The teacher growled again and got back up once more, climbing the podium while the Great Wakkorotti burped his song of choice. Before he made the grab however, the spotlight disappeared before the teacher found himself alone on that podium and Wakko back on the stage.
It continued for about 3 to 4 more cycles, with Wakko burping several seconds worth of lines from Ride of the Valkyries, Toccata and Fugue in D minor, and Dance of the Hours - La Gioconda as a sort of compilation, each time evading the teacher's tackles and grabs and being on a different spotlighted place, such as on a balcony, on the piano Dot was playing on, and the pedestal Yakko was in front of while the older sibling kept waving the baton like nothing weird was happening. With every miss, the teacher got more and more tired, his rage fizzling out.
He finished with the last 20 or so seconds of Tchaikovsky's Capriccio italien, Op. 45, burping the last couple series of notes as the spotlight and Wakko moved around the teacher. The tired man kept running after him in vain, unable to catch Wakko as the teacher fell on his front, flat onto the ground with a thud by the end of the song.
There was thunderous applause from the group of kids that had watched the whole time, even the curator had to clap, even writing down notes on how to replicate it.
"Excuse me, excuse me!" Wakko said as he bowed, a rose thrown at his feet along with a pack or two of Tic-Tacs. He smiled proudly at finishing his latest work, the teacher groaning and struggling to get up on his feet while Dot and Yakko joined their middle sibling. By now, the scenery lit up and it turned out it was the museum's stage for recreations and educational shows and such.
"Good to know you still got the gas." Yakko said with a slap on the back, to which Wakko let out a last big burp as a result.
"Wait, we can't forget our backup dancer here!" Dot said, dragging the tired teacher over to the front, grinning like he just lost his mind.
"Any words you wanna say to the crowd for your inspiring dance and flop number?" Yakko said, while Wakko shouted "speech, speech, speech!" while hopping around.
The tired teacher was about to say something, but the mass fatigue had finally set in and he ends up falling onto the ground with a groan and thud, hair sticking up from all angles and stars swirling above his head. He even let out a little crazy laugh every few seconds.
The three Warners looked at each other and shrugged. "Stage fright." They said as they bowed once more to the once-more applauding kids, fading to black.
Wheel of Morality
The Warners were running through the park trying to flee from Ralph again before screeching to a halt.
"It's that time again!" Yakko said.
"To escape the curse of reruns?" Wakko asked.
"To show Michael Carbonaro our own brand of magic too?" Dot said.
"Nope! It's time to learn today's lesson!" Yakko said in an educational tone. "And to find out what it is, we turn to the Wheel of Morality!" He added as the wheel slid into view and as he gave it a big spin.
"Wheel of Morality turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn." Yakko said.
The wheel stopped on 7 as some paper was printed out on the side.
"And the moral of today's story is: 'If your best isn't good enough, just bring a stack of Jacksons for everyone'."
"I'll probably forget it by next Thursday." Dot said.
"Anyone know where the catering table is?" Wakko asked and looked around curiously.
The three kids then noticed Ralph and let out a yipe, immediately fleeing as Ralph came in and shook his hand in annoyance at another failed catch with net in hand, chasing after them again.
Ending line of the day from the Tower: Yakko: I'm Yakko! / Wakko: I'm Wakko! / Dot: And I haven't had my coffee yet.
Author's note: Sorry this took long again, going job searching and such. I do have one or two unique A! story ideas though, one of them being a legit "A Dare Gone Zany" sequel if anyone wants to see it. I got the basic idea set, now to just expand on it. Regardless, hope you enjoyed!
And yes, the mention about Rob's throat was intentional. Hoping for the best for him! :)