A/N: Since A Series Of Unfortunate Events has been my favorite book series for as long as I can remember, I decided to write a little story about Carmelita Spats! The rude, filthy, and violent little girl we all know of! XD I will probably write more ASOUE stories later on the road...but for some reason I've been dying to write about Carmelita Spats! Sooooo here we goooo! XD

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do NOT own A Series of Unfortunate Events...but if I did...the Baudelaires would have a much better life! :)

If you've ever come across a person, which I hope you've not, who was rude, filthy, and violent that you'd hope to stay away and never see them again. Sometimes you may wonder; How could a human being be so rude, filthy, and violent? I'm sorry to say that there are many answers to your question. For example, there may be someone who's been around rude, filthy, and violent people their entire lives and have eventually became rude, filthy, and violent themselves. They could have experienced a huge tragedy in their life such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or even a pet and their way of grieving is to come across as rude, filthy, and violent. And another way for a person to become so dreadful and awful is if they've been spoiled rotten since the very first day of their life.

Carmelita Spats, is one of those people who've been spoiled rotten since their first day of life.
Whatever Carmelita wanted, Carmelita got. Through her parents eyes, Carmelita was their perfect, sweet, darling little girl and nothing she did was ever disastrous and nothing that came out from her mouth was vile. And unfortunately I regret to say, that Carmelita could do and get whatever her awful little heart desired.

Every day in the Spats household was always atrocious, a word which hear means; dreadful, cruel, and brutal.
They were so atrocious that It brings me distress and terror to write about such a rude, filthy, and violent little girl. If you have read this far into the story of Carmelita Spats, I suggest you stop right here and hit the back button on the top left screen of your computer and find some other story to read, because the tales of Carmelita Spats starts right here.

"MOTHER! FATHER! WAKE UP!" Carmelita shouted, banging two metal pots together as she stood in the doorway of her parents room. It was her fourth birthday and she wanted to spend every minute doing the thing she loved most which was; making others miserable.

Mr and Mrs Spats groaned as they pulled the blankets past their heads, hoping to tune out the retched sounds the two metal pots made as they clanged together.

"DID YOU HEAR ME YOU CAKESNIFFERS? I SAID WAKE UP! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Carmelita shouted as loud as she can and banged the metal pots together even harder. "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANT BLUEBERRY PANCAKES NOW!"

"Yes sweetheart...daddy and I will make you a very special birthday breakfast...just please stop banging those pots together.." Mrs Spats drawled, slowly sitting up in the queen sized bed her and her husband shared.

This was very typical in the Spats household. In fact, not a day went by that Carmelita had to shout or do something drastic like, bang metal pots together, to get what she wanted.

"HURRY UP!" Carmelita shouted, but at least she wasn't banging the metal pots together anymore.

"Yes, we're coming darling." Mr Spats muttered, as he too, got out of bed with his wife.

"Good! Now make my blueberry pancakes before I starve! You don't want your beautiful, sweet, kind, adorable, and perfect little girl to starve now do you!?" Carmelita asked, looking up at her parents innocently, as if she wasn't just banging two metal pots together.

"No, of course we don't, Carmelita!" Mrs Spats replied quickly walking past her horrid daughter and down the hall to the kitchen. Carmelita skipped after her, with the two metal pots in her hands and Mr Spats slowly trudged after.

"Don't burn them! Carmelita warned, as she seated herself at the table. "Nobody likes burnt pancakes, especially adorable, beautiful, cute, kind, loving, awesome, talented, and friendly birthday girls!"

"Of course, sweetheart..." Mr Spats nearly cooed. "You're our perfect girl, Carmie."

"Don't call me Carmie! I want my presents and I want them NOW! Birthday girls should not have to wait for their presents!" Carmelita shouted, now pounding her firsts on the table.

Now I'm sure that I do not have to tell you how Mr and Mrs Spats spent the rest of their dreadful day with their dreadful daughter. Now you're probably wondering: how much longer can Mr and Mrs Spats deal with their wicked daughter?
I am relieved to say that through out the years, as you can only imagine, Carmelita's cruel behavior got worse and worse and Mr and Mrs Spats reached their breaking point.

By the time Carmelita was ten years old, Mr and Mrs Spats have come to a conclusion.

"I've come to a conclusion." Mr Spats said to Mrs Spats one night, when they were sure that their daughter was fast asleep in her bed and not eavesdropping on them. Eavesdropping is a word that here means; listening on others conversations.

"Yes? What is it dear?" Mrs Spats asked.

"Well...I've been reading the morning paper about Prufrock Preparatory School. It's a wonderful program with highly educated teachers and lots of other children. They provide the children excellent meals and a place to stay." Mr Spats explained.

"A place to stay!?" Mrs Spats cried. "You mean...it's a boarding school!?"

"Yes." Mr Spats replied.

"I think boarding school would be perfect for Carmelita!" Mrs Spats exclaimed. "And now that summer is coming to an end, it's the perfect time to enroll her!"

"I couldn't agree more...I'm getting tired of her bossing us around, we are the parents!"

Mr and Mrs Spats said no more about it that night and turned out their bedroom light and went to sleep. The next morning, Mrs Spats made a call to Prufrock Preparatory school to enroll their daughter, while Mr Spats was off at work.

Someone picked up on the last ring.

"Who dares interrupt a genius while he is rehearsing!?" A voice boomed from the other line so loudly that Mrs Spats had to hold the phone slightly away from her ear before she could get a headache.

"Umm..Hello..." Mrs Spats replied, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Is this Prufrock Preparatory school? I'm calling to enroll my daughter."

"Is this Prufrock Preparatory School!? I'm calling to enroll my daughter!" The loud voice shrieked, as it mocked Mrs Spats. "Of course it is! You are speaking to Vice Principle Nero!"

"Ah..hello Vice Principle Nero...I would like to enroll my daughter, Carmelita Spats.." Mrs Spats continued, feeling a bit awkward and perplexed that someone other than her daughter would speak so rudely to her.

"I would like to enroll my daughter, Carmelita Spats!" Vice Principle Nero mocked again. "Well, you must know that it's our policy here at Prufrock Prepatory School for every parent or former guardian to send us file records of their child along with what they're allergic to and a copy of their education history!"

"Yes, my husband and I will be sending you a copy in the mail this week!" Mrs Spats replied, eyeing the hallway nervously expecting to see her daughter standing their sneering or making dirty faces to her.

"Yes, my husband and I will be sending you a copy in the mail this week! Good, Is Carmelita a good child? Does she cause any trouble?"

"Oh! Yes! She's perfect!" Mrs Spats said quickly. "She's never been a problem once in our lives."

"She's perfect!" Nero mocked once more. "Well good. We do not tolerate children that cause trouble! If they are to cause trouble, they are to buy me bags of candy and watch me as I eat it all in front of them! And if they're SO terrible, they will be kicked out of school! How does that sound?"

"Perfect!" Mrs Spats cried, but could feel a terrible lump in her throat as she lied even further.
Of course, lying is never the right thing to do but is something people do in desperate situations such as Mrs Spats. "Nice speaking with you Vice Principle Nero! I will get on those records right away!" Mrs Spats added and hung up before the Vice Principle could mock her again.

Just as Mrs Spats put down the telephone, Carmelita walked into the kitchen.

"Where is my breakfast!?" She demanded, glaring up at her mother. "I'm starving!"

"Carmelita, I have wonderful news for you!" Mrs Spats said, taking her daughters hands.

"Are we going out to breakfast, Mother!?" Carmelita asked, eyeing her mother curiously.

"No, no!" Mrs Spats said a bit impatiently, thinking that treating her daughter to breakfast was the last thing she deserved. "Daddy and I decided to send you to boarding school! Prufrock Preparatory school! Where you will learn and make lots of new friends! How does that sound!?"

Mrs Spats looked down at her daughter nervously, expecting her to start screaming and throwing things at her, but to her surprise a big nasty smile spread to Carmelita's face.

"Good! It's about time I'm sent off somewhere where I'll be pampered and get the things I deserve!"

Mr and Mrs Spats were relieved by their daughters positive outlook on going to boarding school, they only hoped that their daughter's behavior could improve and hope that it will teach her to be kind to others. Although I am sorry to say that they were wrong. Carmelita has been rotten to ever child her age since her first day at Prufrock Preparatory School and the only friends she made were the children who were as rude, violent, and filthy as she was.
She would spend her free time bullying other children who had so much misfortune in their lives and stole from children who had lots of fortune.

The types of children that Carmelita liked to pick on, I'm sorry to say were orphans.
Orphans as you and I know, The Baudelaire and Quagmire orphans, and from here on the story leads on to the Baudelaire orphan's first day at Prufrock Preparatory School.

A/N: This is not cannon at all but I just wanted to add more about Carmelita and give others an idea of how she became so wicked and what was her reason to being shipped off to boarding school! I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you so much for reading! :D