Murdoc: Revealed by Emachinescat
A MacGyver Fanfiction
SUMMARY: Or, "MacGyver Discovers that the Secret to Murdoc's Longevity Lies in the World of Modern Pop Culture." Complete and utter crack. Ficlet.
A/N: So, my first MacGyver fan-fic, and I'm doing a crack fic… but I've had this idea floating around in my head for a while now, and finally had to write it. Takes place in the late 2000s, and involves Mac, pop culture, and a bit of a nervous breakdown. Please remember that this is 100% CRACK. Enjoy, and please review!
Also, I don't own *takes deep breath* MacGyver, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Stargate: SG1, Merlin, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Doctor Who. Interested yet? ;)
"I don't believe it," MacGyver breathed as he sat on his couch, gaping at the coffee table, which was strewn with a variety of DVDs, books, rumpled documents and pictures of the subject of the one case the troubleshooter had never been able to close. Until now. "I figured it out."
"Figured what out, Dad?" Sam glanced up from his laptop.
"Murdoc." Mac said the assassin's name like it was poison. "I know how he always survives. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner."
Sam sighed. "Dad, I thought we'd agreed you were going to take a break from this Murdoc business. You're running straight toward a major burnout."
"That's where you're wrong," Mac proclaimed grandly, gesturing wildly at the messy coffee table. "Because I know how Murdoc survives. I know what he is."
Sam smiled tightly at his father, his expression vaguely long-suffering. "What do you mean, what he is? He's as human as you or I – you know, physically. Morally and mentally, not so much, but he is human. We've been over this."
"No, but Sam – I've really got it solved this time."
Sam massaged his temples and set aside his computer, leaning forward to show his father he was listening. "Okay, Dad, but this is the last time – how does Murdoc always survive?"
"It's simple, really," Mac said, sounding rather proud of himself. He rummaged a bit through the avalanche of media on the table before him, before extricating a piece of construction paper on which he'd glued pictures of Murdoc, as well as some iconic faces from some of the most iconic characters in today's pop culture. There were lots of color-coded, overlapping lines connecting the pictures, and MacGyver pointed to each one in turn as he explained:
"You won't believe this, Sam – Murdoc is a Time Lord who was taken as a host to a Goa'uld, and he's stolen cursed Aztec gold and has a Ring of Power that he's turned into a Horcrux, and he's got the Cup of Life, which he drinks unicorn's blood from, not to mention the Philosopher's Stone he's got stashed away somewhere for a rainy day." Mac's eyes were bright and his cheek twitched. "Don't'cha see, Sam? It's no wonder I haven't been able to beat him yet! He's clearly got the advantage." He paused in deep thought. "I might be able to gain the upper hand, though, if I can get ahold of the Deathly Hallows… hold on a sec, Sam, I gotta call Pete; he's got contacts for this sort of thing…"
Sam groaned as he plucked the paper from his father's hands, not even bothering to remind him that Pete was retired – had been, for years – and muttered under his breath, "I should'a never encouraged you to expand your entertainment choices beyond Westerns. I've created a monster!"
A/N: So… that just happened. I don't exactly have words for this, it's just kind of a thing… so… eh … yeah. ;) Like I said, utter crack. But that's my theory about Murdoc, anyway. I mean, it only makes sense, right?
***Also, a bit of shameless self-promotion here: If anyone is interested in mythology, fantasy, or in supporting new authors, please check out my new book, which was released earlier in the week! You can get it on Amazon, in either paperback or Kindle format. I'll post a direct link to it on my profile, but if you're interested, you can also search on Amazon for House of the Dead by Elizabeth Wilson.***
Okay, advert's over now. Please review, and I hope you enjoyed this … this … well, whatever the heck this was. :D