Once there were two cows that lived on a farm and they were named Cow 1 and Cow 2. Every morning some ugly human would let them out of their pen and into the grassy field. Cow 2 did not like grass very much and thought that it was bland, stringy and just plain nasty. But what made his day was the smell of bacon cooking every morning.
Hey, Cow 2 you should eat something.
"You know that I don't like this shitty grass, especially in the winter and summer" said Cow 2.
"It tastes just fine to me" said Cow 1.
"That's cause' you are a bum."
"But we live on the same farm" said Cow 1. Then many howevers later that ugly human called us back to the pen. The next day the human let us out like normal. But when we got out to the field some of the fence was broken down, leading to the pig pen. When the cows saw that, Cow 2 started running to the pigs yelling-
"Finally I can try some of that bacon!"
So then he starts to eat the poor little pig and blood and guts flew up as Cow 2 devoured the pig.
Cow 1's reaction was "That's fucking gross dude!"
Then Cow2 was like, "Dude this is so good! You should come try some!"
Just then the fugly* humans ran out and shot them with a fiddy** cal. rifle and the cows brains and blood splattered all over the grass and the broken fence.
A/N Just clarifying some words.
*fugly- this is the words "fucking" and "ugly" combined as one.
**fiddy- this is the number "fifty" but my brother insisted that it had to be "fiddy".