Short L x Light AU drabble based off the drama (Note: THis is based off the drama version, but also is an AU from the point of Light saving L's, or "Ryuga's", life. In which Light never regained memories or possession of the DN). For bri_the_bab00n on tumblr. Light doesn't regain the Death Note or his memories of being Kira. Loosely (very loosely) inspired by Hello by Piper Emerald, here on FF.

L smiled more around Light Yagami. It was, ironically, Matsuda who had first realized. While he wasn't as smart as L, nor was he as good a cop as the Chief - former Chief- but he was a man of observation. (After all he did get all that information on Yotsuba and manage not to die.) And one of the first things he noticed about L was the fact he never, ever, smiled. That he always spoke in a monotone voice. That never once did he ever show his emotions. It had led the young man to wonder if he, being L, did not even have emotions. Or perhaps just very dull ones. After all, it wasn't hard to believe with the drab way he talked and the plain, after you got used to him, of course, way he acted.

But everything changed when Light and L met.

Yes, it all started there. The first smile was small, but it lit up L's face like the sun shined down on him and no one else. It had been a miniscule quirk of the lips, but Matsuda didn't overlook this. He also didn't ignore the way Light's eyes had sparkled in that moment. It was a smile of esoterica, and Light was the only one to understand it. Just like how Light was the only one to understand L's jokes or insults or his astute comments that had to be "dumbed down" to the rest of the Task Force's level. It was so obvious in the way that they reacted to each other that there was something there, even if neither of them had realized it yet.

Of course, in very much the same way Matsuda had noticed the smiles, he was the first, and only for most of the duration, to realize just how down and depressed Light had seemed after the case was closed. Matsuda had been the only one to notice how distant the honey-haired genius had become. Or maybe others noticed, but believed bringing it up would be taboo. Matsuda had been the first to notice how often Light had left to visit the old building, like he was waiting. The first one to know what Light had once planned to do.


He stood at the top of the tall building. He knew it was dangerous, but oh how he loved to look down at the world around him. Loved to watch all the people below go about their lives, looking like ants from where he stood on the 15 story building. Loved to wonder what their care-free lives were like.

Light knew that life wasn't fair - far from it, actually. But was it really too much to ask that, if only for once, he have some peace? He slid to the ground,letting his feet fall over the edge and dangle there. That was even more dangerous than simply standing on the precipice.

Light had often found himself there in the months of late. He missed L. God, how stupid and cheesy and infatuated that sounded, but it was the truth. Light missed having someone competent to talk to. To make witty wisecracks with. To roll his eyes at. Someone who could keep up with him, someone who didn't bore him halfway to the grave. He missed the one person who challenged him. He missed the boy who couldn't even stand a single drop of whatever he was always slurping on get on his shirt. He missed the boy who only wore white. The boy whose shirts where always, always, pressed and ironed to perfection. He missed the boy who had been his best friend.

The boy who gave him that smile. The one that pressed the corners of his mouth up into a curve. The one that spread across his face, so small, but huge at the same time, like a ribbon unfurling in the wind. It made his dark eyes shine like a little kid on Christmas morning. The one that made it bearable to be around Misa and every other dimwitted person.

But now, Light wasn't even Light anymore. He barely recognized himself anymore. His loose clothes that no longer fit him, due to the mass amounts of weight he'd lost in a very short period of time, hung and fluttered in the chilling breeze that had picked up an intense cold in what seemed like nanoseconds. His hair had become lackluster, dull and shineless, and drooped in a tangled mess around his face, drawing attention to his hollowed cheeks, which did nothing to mask the dark circles that revealed even L's. In fact, his sunken face accentuated the sleep bruises more than anything. He looked like he was dying, and the fact that he could hardly eat anymore further proved the point.

He remembered coming up to this building before, even standing on this very ledge. But he couldn't remember why. But for some reason, it reminded him of L. Perhaps that's why he spent so much time up here. Light had always had a good, brilliant even, memory, but one such recollection stood out the most, the brightest, the sharpest. His clearest remembrance.

Light stood on the roof again, looking down on the Kanto region of Tokyo bumble about its business. He was not shocked, nor upset, that L had figured out his secret place. No, he didn't mind in the slightest. Light turned marginally to face the slightly older man.

"Do you need something, Ryuga?" he asked, looking over his shoulder to the pale, dark-haired boy that he had become close to.

Ah, there it was. The tiny quirk upward, that small smile that Light couldn't help but love. Hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched, L answered, "Misa's and Kyosuke Higuchi's trails will start soon. We need to leave now if we don't want to miss it."

Light had fully turned to face his companion by then. "Okay." He started forward, walking closer and closer to L until-

He pulled himself out of his reminiscing. No, Light always stopped himself there. He did not like to think about what came next. He did not like to remember how he had pressed his lips to Ryuga's soft ones. He did not care to remember how he had run off. Or how, less than an hour later, at the trial he and L hadn't looked each other in the eye, barely giving a second glance and only exchanging pleasantries. Or how just one week later, he had sent L a short text message saying "I think I'm in love with you." and then changed his number. No, he despised and loathed reminiscing on those moments more than he hated Kira.

But, damn it all, here he was, thinking of L, no matter how hard he tried not to.

This time it's almost over

I watch you turn to dust

I know it's not much longer

The song seemed to float down to him through the rain. Light had heard the song somewhere once before, but that certain stanza had stayed, pressed firmly into his mind. And every time the words hovered back to him, he thought of L. How frail the skinny boy seemed, despite how strong he truly was. The sharp trill of a phone rung through the air, splitting the wind.

Light scooted back, so that his feet were a good foot away from the verge and pulled his legs up to his chest. Pulling his flip-phone out of his pocket, he drolly thought that perhaps he should get out of the cloudburst, for fear of illness or a cold, but dashed away that thought. He glanced down at the caller ID. L. So the man had finally found him.

"Hello?" the light-haired individual asked upon accepting the call.

"Is Yagami Raito there?" L's voice drifted through the line to him.

"This is him. May I ask who is calling?" Oh, he already knew. And Light bet L did too.

"I think you know, Raito-kun." L said softly, his tone less monotonous than usual, a slight hint of emotion poking through in a rare show of the detective's humanity.

Light couldn't help but chuckle. "It's been a while. I never expected to hear from you again," he paused, smirking, "Ryuga."

"Ryuzaki." It was said in such a way, as though it was an automatic reaction now. "And we know that is a lie. I have a new case I'm working on. I would like your help. Meet me for coffee." It was not a request.

Light let out a small laugh at his friend. "I'll meet you there," he said, not needing to ask where. He stood and began to pull the phone away from his ear. But as he did so, he did not miss L whisper a single sentence that caused his heart to plummet and jump and beat at a million miles an hour and stop altogether, all at once.

"I'm in love with you, too."

Closing the phone and grinning widely, Light moved out of the dying drizzle. And away from the threshold.

Away from the ledge he had almost thrown himself over.

The End.