1Haruhi is walking to school when two familiar voices in a red and white racecar nearly run her over.
"Ready for crash landing!" Hikaru shouts, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
"Preparing the parachutes!" Kaoru announces, pushing random buttons.
"Ah-bwaaaht?" Haruhi reacts, backing up.
"Umbridge! We have Umbridge!" Hikaru protests.
"Abandon vehicle! We're going dowwwn!" Kaoru wails.
"Anyway, I'll just continue walking and ignore what's going on behind me." Haruhi says as she carefully makes her way around the chaotic mess in front of her.
"There's no time to evacuate! This is the end!" Hikaru declares.
"I see the lightttt!" Kaoru states. "Hey, Haruhi!" The twins say, jumping in front of her.
"Uh, hi. I totally wasn't trying to leave or anything." Haruhi replies nervously.
"Mmm-hmm?" They raise an eyebrow, unconvinced.
"Okay, fine. What is it this time?" Haruhi asks in defeat.
"Time! That's exactly what we are lacking!" Kaoru stresses.
"We need to get to the moon!" Hikaru exclaims.
"In outer spaaaace!" They yell, pointing to the sky.
"The moon? Why do we need to-" Haruhi starts.
"Bibbidy-bobbidy-boo! Let's go to the moon!" Kaoru sings.
"Huh? What's on the moon?" Haruhi asks.
"An ugly old daddy." They describe.
"That doesn't-what?" Haruhi asks.
"He's using phony prince powers to destroy the Mound of the Bluestrings!" Kaoru explains.
"I don't care! Why did I even ask? Obviously I won't have a choice, so let's get going already!" Haruhi insists.
"No way! Why didn't you say so earlier?" They reply, escorting her toward an oddly familiar spaceship.
"So how are we- … Oh, of course." Haruhi answers her own question as she gazes up at the giant replica of the USS Enterprise.
"So are we really going to the moon?" Haruhi asks.
"Aaah! Haruhi! There's a nasty teddy bear on your shoulder!" Hikaru shrieks.
"What? Where? Is it the father?" Haruhi frets.
"Oh my god, Haruhi, get it oooofff!" Kaoru screams.
"I don't feel anything." Haruhi notes, glaring at them.
"Aaah! It's giving me the ugly eye!" Hikaru fusses.
"Stuffed Animal Patrol!" The twins call.
"This is the SAP. We have you surrounded, Kuma-chan!" Kazukiyo in a police suit claims.
"Okay." Haruhi pauses, confused.
"Tickle him!" Hikaru orders. Kazukiyo starts tickling her.
"Ha ha ha ha! Hey!" Haruhi laughs.
"He's looking at me funny!" Kaoru states.
"Ha ha ha! Stop it! There's nothing there!" Haruhi protests.
"He's got a bow-tie!" Hikaru affirms.
"Ha ha! Please stop!" Haruhi begs.
"And it's green!" Kaoru adds.
"Ha ha haaaah!" Haruhi laughs until she's out of breath.
The spaceship touches down on a white dusty surface. Haruhi and the twins step out.
"Tadaaaa!" The twins present.
"Yaaaaay." Haruhi rolls her eyes.
"Let's go, Haruhi!" Kaoru chants.
"I believe in yooooou." Hikaru cheers.
"Let's go where?" Haruhi asks.
"Behold! The ugly daddyyyyy!" They announce as music starts to play.
"Uh, yeah. More singing." Haruhi groans. Tamaki with a crown and a shirt that reads 'FATHER' rises from Renge's rotating platform.
"I am so princely. I am amazing! I command you to gaze upon my face! You'll never find someone charming as I am! I'm the swankiest host of the club! I'm a star, I'm a god! I'm a thing to behold! There is none as resplendent as I! With my skinny long legs, and my capturing gaze, for my majesty none can deny! Because I am so princely. I am mysterious. When I vanish, I never leave a trace! You will not find someone with such illusions, I'm a creature of fathomless grace!"
His customers join in, "Princely means the lord, princely means galore. Princely means mature, princely means savior. Princely means mature. Princely means so pure. Princely means the cure for all the supremes."
"I am so princely, I am a champion! No one else in the academy keeps pace! You'll never find someone quite as enchanting! While I'm here, there's just no second place. I'm an idol, a king, I'm an object of awe! There is none quite so gleaming as I! I've got glamour to spare, you are right when you stare. I'm the who, what, when, where and the why! Join me!"
His customers chant, "He is so princely. He is astounding. Wisdom flows from his perfect styled hair. You'll never find someone darling as he is."
"I'm the swankiest, tutelary host. Certainly best-dressed, host of the club!" Tamaki finishes as he strikes a pose and returns down the rotating platform.
"You did it, Haruhi! You defeated the daddy!" The twins shout.
"No I didn't. He just left, like everyone does when they sing to me!" Haruhi declares.
"Wooah! Look!" Kaoru exclaims, pointing at a large hill.
"The mound has appeared!" Hikaru states.
"Oh! No! I don't want to do it! I can't take any more of this! You two, are such troublemakers!" Haruhi stresses.
"Haruhi! Listen to me! This is the most important thing we've needed you for! If you go into the mound, we'll never bother you again!" Hikaru claims.
"Never?" Haruhi asks.
"We promise! You can quit complaining, Haruhi!" Kaoru cries.
"Really? Okay, I'll go in." Haruhi insists.
"Haruhi! You're a Dream Machine!" They cheer.
Dream Machiiine. Some mysterious voice utters.
"Alright, so, we're in. What do I do?" Haruhi asks. She then looks at the bottomless pool. "Uhhhh, what is that?"
"We've gotten. Kind-of bored." Hikaru admits.
"We're also bored of the moon!" Kaoru states.
"So, we're gonna send it into a black hole!" Hikaru announces.
"What? Uh-okay? What about the spaceship?" Haruhi trot off to it without her.
"Bye, Haruhi!" Kaoru shouts.
"You've always kind of sounded like a girl! But you don't act like one!" Hikaru confesses.
"Uhhh, you two are going a little far this time, huh? Hikaru? Kaoru?" Haruhi stares as their ship leaves the ground.
"Haruhi! We don't have much time!" The starfish from earlier reveals.
"Oh! Dad! They're, uh, trying to kill me." Haruhi affirms.
"All will be explained! But first, you need to wish on me!" The starfish describes.
"What?" Haruhi asks.
"I'm a star, make a wish! Wish to wake up!" The starfish urges.
"Alright, but what happens if-" Haruhi starts.
"Just do it, my girl! Wiiiish!" The starfish demands.
"I wish to wake up!" Haruhi shouts.
"Waaaake!" The starfish screams as the world disappears in a black hole.
Haruhi opens her eyes to see her father's face with a worried expression as he shakes her. He stops when he sees her glaring at him. She sighs and says, "Dad, I had the weirdest dream…" before looking up to see him dressed in a mermaid costume. Then sighs again and falls back onto her futon.
Sorry, it's been a while. I've been busy with soccer tournaments and tryouts. So, this is the last chapter of this story, and of the original Charlie the Unicorn series thus far. The little part at the end is from a theory I have about the series as a whole. Please Follow and Review!