Because I have spent too much time listening to the Gorillaz. Emperor save me.

"Greetings captain. I'm glad you have taken time personally facilitate my request."

"Greeting. I must admit, the oddness of your request stymied myself and my aides, but I believe we have fulfilled your… requirements."

"What put you off? The word 'quirky?' I'll admit it's not one used very often…"

"Indeed. We had to contact a specialised scholar to obtain a definition of the word, but our chosen group should be what you are looking for. The holo-projector shall show their images; shall I begin?"

"Very well. Oh. Well that's… definitely quirky. The skin is not a warp mutation is it? And the tongue."

"Gene-seed mutation my lord. Brother Murdoc was tested vigorously once they came to light, but we believe he is pure."

"We believe?"

"There have been… disturbing allegations made against him, but our chaplains have found nothing. Will you test him yourself?"

"No, he should pass muster. He'll need to be wearing at shirt at least. Who is the next?"

"Brother 2D. The main vocalist, although Murdoc has command."

"What's wrong with his eyes?"

"Hyphema fracture. The first occurred during a training exercise shortly after he was made a full brother. He was next to brain dead until the second fracture, due to Brother Murdoc, returned him to… what remains of his senses."

"I'm assuming Murdoc did not mean for that to happen?"

"He claims he did. I suspect he accidently lead Brother 2D off a cliff. Either way, that was the basis of their comradeship."

"Who is next? Ah. Now that is very strange."

"Brother Russell. He has a tragic past; his home-world was invaded by demons before he was brought here to become an aspirant. Later on, his squad was killed in an ambush. Somehow he managed to catch his battle-brothers souls, and they occasionally possess him. We have no idea how it happened, and we have no idea how to reverse it."

"As long as it causes no trouble, he should be fine. Anyone else?"

"Sister Noodle."

"You're joking."

"I'm afraid not. A Sororitas of the Order of the Holy Tone. Quite young, but is still very able. Aside from an incident with a floating agriculture building, and that servitor Murdoc made to replace her for a short while, there has been little integration problem."

"And that is the band?"

"Indeed. They call themselves the Apez. With a z, as I am constantly told. What do you think my lord?"

"They are perfect. Tell them to get their gear together, and meet by at the landing zone in two hours. I will brief them further once we leave."

"Very well my lord. But…"


"Would it be possible to know the objective of this mission you have planned my lord? Or is it an Inquisitorial secret."

"I'm afraid so. I will have to take vows of silence from each of the band members as well to insure secrecy. But don't worry; if all goes well, you need never learn my mission."

"That is good my-"

"And if we fail, you won't have a lot of time anyway."