Hey! I am really grateful for you guys for still sticking with me... but if you don't mind, could guys just jot down a review, so I know that you guys are still reading this. I was going to wait until I get a review to update this...but then I thought that I shouldn't do that, because I like writing this fic!
So, please? Just your opinion will be fine...and maybe a suggestion?
I own nothing, or this following quote:
I know life is unfair, but this is fucking ridiculous
It was still early in the morning, too early to wake up and too late to go back to sleep. So when Dashan woke up and looked at the clock, he decided that staying awake was much better than dozing off again. He rolled over and saw his now lover still sleeping peacefully, his hand reached to Gingka and gently brushed the loose bands of hair out of his face. He couldn't believe that Gingka would actually accept his feelings, he thought that the redhead would at least want sometime to think about it before replying to him.
But even though he was overjoyed by his returned feelings, he couldn't help but feel something was off with his now lover. When he first met him years ago, he was more happy, more calm and he certainly didn't let the world effect him or get to him. But now, the redhead seemed afraid, seemed terrified. And what he considered the worst thing, Gingka wouldn't even tell him. And that by itself drove him crazy.
He looked over at his lover and couldn't help but feel calm himself, he always dreamed about the redhead, and how he wold return or reject his feelings, but now laying this close to someone he loved was like a dream, a dream he did not want to wake up from.
He sat up and placed himself right next to Gingka's torso and admired how cute the redhead looked in his sleep. He watched as the redhead's chest went up and down as he breathed peacefully and steadily. He then put his hand on Gingka's lifting it up and kissed his knuckles before putting it back down. He looked at Gingka's lips which were slightly apart, he couldn't help but remember how they felt on his the night before, and he couldn't help but want to feel how soft they were again. So with taking a deep breath, he got up and carefully hovered on top of Gingka's sleeping form making sure that his body wasn't crushing Gingka's fragile one underneath. He then leaned down until he was almost an inch away from Gingka's lips, he took another deep breath before his lips finally touched Gingka's soft ones. His hand couldn't help but travel up and down Gingka's sleeping frame as his lips kept on kissing the soft lips underneath.
He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder making him flinch in surprise and hurriedly break the kiss making a loud click sound. He used his arms to raise himself off the redhead and he looked down seeing Gingka's shocked face with eyes open in surprise.
"What are you….doing?" Gingka asked with a yawn.
"…You kissed me"
"…yeah, sorry about that" Dashan sat up and placed himself on Gingka's legs making Gingka look at him with a confused look.
"…sure" Gingka said looking away.
Dashan felt guilty for his actions and regretted them. He knew from what Gingka told him yesterday that he wasn't comfortable being kissed, or being pinned down by someone else. He didn't know why though, and he wanted to find out as soon as possible. But that didn't mean that he didn't have a hunch.
"Gingka?" He asked which caused Gingka to flinch then look at him with wide open eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"…I'm fine"Gingka answered hesitantly.
"Really? You can tell me, we're a couple now" Dashan reminded him.
"…I know, I just don't wanna talk about it"
Dashan sighed and couldn't help but feel frustrated at the redhead. He had no idea why the redhead was behaving like that and keeping stuff from him. He swore to himself since the day he first met him that he'd always help the redhead through whatever life had to throw at him.
"Gingka…" He said again. "Have you been in any relationships before?"
"Don't lie to me…..answer me honestly"
"…I am answering you honestly"
"So you never dated anyone before? Guy or girl?"
"Yes! Why would I lie to you?"
"I'm just saying…..has anyone ever confessed to you? Like how they love you and want to be with you?"
"…a lot of people did"
"A lot? And you said no?"
"And what did they do when you said no?" Dashan asked even though he did not want to ask or hear the answer.
"…you could say that they reacted differently from others"
"Different? Can you give me examples?"
"Examples? Okay, one of them cussed me out and left"
"I don't know….he told me to give him a chance and change my mind…said it'd be a one night stand…..I refused…I never met the guy before….so I walked away and he left me alone"
"Is that the worst?"
"What? No! That's the easiest one out of the others"
"What about one that was in between being easy and hard?"
"Oh, well the guy was drunk and he stumbled across me…he told me to give him some relief and I said no, he got upset and grabbed my arm and the next thing I knew, I was pulled into a dark alleyway and he wouldn't let go of me until I somehow managed to knock him out"
"Ohmygod…..what did he do to you?"
"Nothing much, he just….um….tried to….bite me"
"That's nothing?!" Dashan yelled while punching the pillow that Gingka had his head on.
"Well, compared to the rest it is"
"But did someone ever get away? Like did they ever force themselves on you?"
Gingka gasped at this and sealed his lips shut and looked away. How was he supposed to explain that to his new lover? He couldn't help but admit to himself that he didn't want Dashan's view on him to change, and he certainly didn't want to get Kyoya involved in any of this.
"Gingka…..you're hiding something from me, right?"
"It's just none of your business….it happened a while ago anyway"
"Oh so it did happen?"
Gingka gasped then looked away, 'damn him, he tricked me!'
He looked back at Dashan who was looking at him with a look in his eyes that he didn't quite identify, but he didn't like it at all.
He gasped when he felt the weight that was once on his legs disappear, he looked at Dashan who was pacing back and forth clearly thinking about something.
'Oh wow, it hasn't been a full day and he already wants to break up with me' Gingka thought sitting up. He looked over at Dashan who was still pacing back in forth, and he couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself.
"Dashan?" He asked wanting to know why the other hadn't said anything yet.
But he was ignored.
He looked down ashamed at himself, if only something like that hadn't happen to him then maybe Dashan wouldn't want to break up with him so soon.
He snapped or rather jolted in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Dashan looking down on him with an emotion in his face that he never seen before on him.
He looked away not wanting him to continue. He knew what Dashan would say to him and he did not want to hear it, not from Dashan from all people.
"If…if only I was there…maybe something like that….wouldn't have happened to you" Dashan said then pulled him to his chest and put his arms around Gingka's back and pulled him even closer if that was even possible.
"D..Dashan?" Gingka gasped in surprise, he didn't think that Dashan would react the way he did, he expected something way different.
"Oh Gingka…..why?" He heard Dashan mumble as he...what Gingka assumed... cried on his shoulder.
Gingka couldn't help but hug back, he never felt this way before in his life. He didn't expect himself to melt into the embrace and he certainly didn't expect himself to calm down so quickly.
"Look Gingka," Dashan said breaking the embrace and put both of his hands on Gingka's shoulders making Gingka look up at him. "What happened in the past stays in the past, I won't bring it up until I think the time is right…..Whatever happened to you in the past won't affect our relationship, I will always love you no matter what happened to you….I think I love you more now to be honest"
Gingka looked at him with wide open eyes and couldn't help but feel like he would fall apart then and there. He hated when someone told him something so touching and sweet, what was he supposed to reply to that? He couldn't give anything in return.
"Dashan…..you're not upset?" He couldn't help but ask, just to make sure he understood him right.
"Why would I be upset?"
"You took so long to say something back….I thought you wanted…..us to break up"
"What?! Why would I think something like that?! I don't care about you in that way, Gingka! Do you seriously think I only wanted sex from you?!"
"No…..I just….I just don't know"
"Look Gingka," Dashan said lifting Gingka's chin up so he would look up at him. "I love you for who you are….all your glory just comes with it"
"Yes, okay I admit I'm kinda upset because I wasn't your first, but that won't change anything….and maybe as our relationship takes off we could get to that"
"I don't know about that, I don't think I'm mentally or even physically ready to jump into that yet"
"Oh I know, that's why I'm not gonna push you….I'll wait 'till you're ready, how does that sound?"
"…good, I guess"
"Oh Gingka…." Dashan said as he once again pulled the redhead into another tight embrace. Gingka hesitantly hugged back but couldn't help but think of someone else, someone he didn't want to see for a very long time.
Somewhere with someone
"Damn it!" Came a hand slamming as hard as it could on a kitchen table.
"I could have stopped him! Why didn't I?" Kyoya yelled to himself in frustration not caring one bit if his neighbors heard him.
'Damn him! Gingka just left! Well, I don't really see why he wouldn't…..he hates me, and he would with no doubt want to get away from me by any means necessary'
He stood up from the couch and threw the beer can he was drinking in the trash can that was overflowing since he didn't have the energy or the initiative to take it out. He grabbed another one and took a big sip from it before setting it down on the coffee table that was in the living room near the three couches.
'And what's worse…is that I forgot to get Gingka's phone number so I could at least call him and check on him and maybe convince him to come back!'
He took another sip then gasped in thought when he remembered what Gingka had told him a few days ago about who he gave his number to. Three people; Masamune, Tsubasa and his father. So he had to get his number from one of the three. His father is out of the picture since he did not want the man to suspicious anything going on between him and his son. Masamune just wasn't talking to Gingka because Gingka didn't want his help, and since the guy was on bad terms with him since their little argument that wasn't even considered an argument had taken place. So logically Gingka wouldn't give his new number to him, so Tsubasa was the only key to his problem. But Tsubasa brings another problem he did not want to face at the moment or anytime soon actually. For starters, he worked for the man. Second, he hadn't shown up for work for about a week. And the last thing, Tsubasa would most definitely manipulate him to come to work.
But Tsubasa was the only one that understood the situation between him and Gingka, Masamune wanted to kill him the last time he saw him, and Gingka's father really didn't need to know about the said situation.
So taking his phone out of his pocket, he dialed Tsubasa making the phone's annoying rings echo in his ears.
"Hello?" Finally came a voice.
"Kyoya! How ya been doing?"
"Great actually…..never been better"
"Oh really? Then why aren't you at work? You do realize that you work for me, right?"
"Yeah I do…..but look I just need to ask you a favor"
"Oh really? Why would I grant it?"
"Because I'm asking you to"
"Oh really? I'm not your genie Kyoya"
"I know…..but I really need your help right now"
"Look Kyoya, Don't involve me in your problems between you and Gingka…I'm a working man with much more important things on my mind"
"Oh come on! I'm just asking for a little request!"
"I'm sorry, but you have to solve your problems on your own with him…whatever goes on between you guys are none of my concern"
"I'm just asking you to give me his phone number that's all!"
"His phone number? Why? Did he lose his phone- where is he now?"
"That's why I need to call him…We ended on really bad terms yesterday and I want to tell him that I didn't mean what I said"
"So he's not in your apartment?"
"No, someone showed up yesterday and stole his heart"
"Oh really? Don't tell me you're trying to break them up?"
"That wasn't on my mind at the moment….but I could try"
"Oh Kyoya, can't you just leave the guy alone…can you understand that he can't return your feelings?"
"I do understand that!"
"No you do not! If you did you would leave him alone!"
"Just give me his phone number…..I just….wanna apologize to him that's all"
"If he doesn't want to see you then leave him alone….listen to my advice"
"I'll see about that….but please? I just wanna clear things up between us"
Kyoya heard a sigh on the other line and couldn't help but sigh himself.
"I'll text you his number….but, don't make things worse between you two…I hate seeing my two friends like this"
"I'm a friend?" Kyoya asked surprised.
"In some way…..but you're not as close as Gingka is"
"Of course I'm not…..thanks Tsubasa, you helping me means a lot"
"You both are adults now…act like it"
"I know" Kyoya said as he hung up and put the phone down with a sigh, he hated how Tsubasa was so nosy in situations such as this one. But at least he got what he wanted, that should be okay, right?
Back with Gingka & Dashan
"Hey Gingka?" Dashan said putting the breakfast plates in the sink.
"Hm?" Gingka asked looking at Dashan as he put his cup in the sink as well.
"I was wondering, just out of curiosity….is something going on between you and Kyoya? You guys were never really this close back then"
"Oh Kyoya?" Gingka asked wanted to play it as cool and casual as he possibly can. "nothing is going on between us….it's just we became closer as the years past by, that's all" he said knowing that it was a lie.
"Oh really? If I find out otherwise I won't forgive you"
Gingka gulped down and looked away, he really hoped with all his heart that Kyoya wouldn't show his face in a very long while.
"I don't want any lies in our relationship….you can agree to that too?"
"Y..Yeah" Gingka said hesitantly.
"If you have something to spill, spill it now before it's too late"
"I've got nothing to say Dashan" Gingka lied instantly regretting it.
"That better be true Gingka, and another thing….don't go near him"
"I don't like his aura….he gets on my last nerve to be honest"
"I'm sure he thinks that of you too" Gingka said as he turned on the sink faucet and started washing the dishes.
"Oh really? And how do you know?" Dashan asked as he put his hand on Gingka's shoulder making him look at him.
"I just notice things I guess" Gingka said looking away.
"Gingka?" He heard Dashan ask making him flinch then look at him. Something about Dashan's voice sent shivers down his spine, and he didn't know why.
"Stay away from him….I mean it"
'Just what's wrong with him?' Gingka thought to himself. 'Why did his attitude suddenly change? He was nice to me a few minutes ago and now he's being….I don't know!'
"Can you do that for me?"
"You better….I noticed that he looks at you a lot"
'So he's the jealous type?' Gingka asked himself.
"And besides," Dashan said as he put his arms around Gingka's torso. "You're mine…..and I'm yours"
"Y..You're right" Gingka said feeling Dashan's hold on him tighten.
"I hope you're not lying to me…..I really hope so" Dashan said as he slightly pushed Gingka closer to the counter with his body while inhaling his scent.
'Why is he acting like this?' Gingka thought as he started rinsing the dishes still bothered by being pushed into the counter making some water soak his shirt. He tried to push himself off the counter but Dashan's hold on him wouldn't budge.
"Do you love me?"
Gingka gasped at this clearly not expecting the sudden question, he swallowed down and said: "I do love you….do you think otherwise?"
Dashan's hold him on increased and he felt Dashan's chin rest on his shoulder. He then heard him say: "no I don't think otherwise, I just wanted to hear it from you"
Gingka sighed in relief and put the last dish on the drying tray and turned the water faucet off. He looked down at his shirt which had a dark shade of a color in one place meaning it was damp.
"But you love Kyoya more?" Dashan suddenly asked out of the blue.
"W..Why would you think that?"
He felt Dashan turn him around and push him back against the counter behind him while holding his chin in his hands.
"Just a hunch….but I'm right, right?"
"Nothing and I repeat nothing is going on between us" Gingka said getting frustrated with how Dashan was pointlessly mad over something that wasn't even a thing.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure"
"Fine" Dashan said as he pecked him on the lips then release his hold on him and walked away.
'Just what is his problem? Why is he so upset?' Gingka wondered.
"I love you….and if I find out you're lying to me I won't forgive you"
"Find out what? Just what do you think is going on between me and Kyoya?"
"I don't know….it's just you guys seem too close for comfort, I don't want my lover to hang out with someone like him"
Gingka looked away and sighed a deep sigh, this whole argument was pointless and he knew it was. But the thing that got to him was what Dashan kept on telling him that he won't forgive him if he was lying or found out that he was. But it's not like anything was going on between himself and Kyoya, and he didn't know how to explain that to him without letting the whole story out.
"Look Dashan," He started. "You're just assuming things….I swear that nothing is going on between us, I wouldn't lie to you, would I?"
"But if I find out otherwise…. don't go blaming me" Dashan said looking away after sitting down on the couch.
Gingka sighed and left the room to change his damp shirt. He didn't know why Dashan was acting like this, and he couldn't help but feel guilty. Even though what he had told him weren't complete lies, they still were and he couldn't take them back.
You could say that he was afraid of how Dashan might think of him if he found out what happened between himself and Kyoya. He didn't want Dashan to leave him once he knew. Even though Dashan had told him that whatever happened to him in the past won't affect their relationship, he couldn't help but fear that it would and Dashan would go back on his word.
After changing the shirt and putting on a dry one, he left the room after taking a deep breath. He couldn't believe that they had their second argument for the day, he hoped that number three wouldn't come.
"So Gingka?" Dashan asked once Gingka sat on the couch next him.
"I've been thinking about a few things…"
"About how to have a steady relationship….you know so we get to understand each other more….like the do's and don't's"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, here's an example…you're not aloud to talk to Kyoya…or even see him for that matter"
"You mean rules?"
"Why? Can't we just go without them?"
"We can….But it's better this way"
"I know….rule number two," Dashan said then winked at him. "You're to be home by nine-thirty…..for your own safety"
Gingka looked away and said: "Are your rules based on what I can and can't do?"
"Of course! Now moving on, number three: you are NOT allowed under no circumstances to go somewhere without telling me…..I need to know where you are, for my own peace of mind"
"Oh….well do I get to say any of my own rules?"
"Why? Are my rules not to your liking?"
"Umm…no….that's not what I meant….it's just...it will be fair if we both get a say in this, that's all"
"Oh…well, like what?" Dashan asked pulling Gingka closer to him and putting his arm around Gingka's shoulders making Gingka lean on his arm.
"Well…..um…..I was thinking about….um…..how about-"
"You don't know" Dashan simply stated interrupting him.
Gingka looked away not wanting to respond to that, though it was true. But he didn't want Dashan the only one putting rules that he had to follow.
"Just leave this to me….it's better that way"
Gingka nodded and scooted closer to Dashan who in return pulled him closer to his body. Even though he didn't like a thing or two about Dashan, he still loved him. He just had to listen to Dashan and everything would be fine.
"Gingka, you're not upset, right?"
"I..I'm not upset"
"Because if you were I wouldn't forgive myself"
"I'm not upset Dashan" Gingka said again putting his hand on Dashan's who in response held Gingka's hand and tangled their finger's with each other.
"If you're bothered by something feel free to tell me….communication is a key to a successful relationship"
"…sure" Dayan said with a laugh then raised Gingka's hand and kissed it making Gingka blush.
Gingka looked away with a pout and he heard Dashan chuckle and hug him tighter. Gingka felt warm in the embrace and didn't want Dashan to let go of him. Just something about Dashan's warmth made him feel safe, made all his worries fade away.
'His warmth is like Kyoya's….makes me feel safe' he thought then gasped. What brought Kyoya up? Is he seriously comparing Dashan to someone who raped him?
'I guess this isn't bad after all…I'm pretty sure I'm just paranoid….Dashan is a great guy, he is not anything like Hyoma…..I'm pretty sure my paranoia is getting the best of me after all I've been through'
He felt Dashan tighten his hold on him making him slightly smile at how touchy the other was. Even though he wasn't comfortable being this close to someone, he felt safe. Almost as if Dashan was like a shield, a shield that would stand in front of him and protect him.
'I fucking hate my life' Kyoya thought as he looked at the message Tsubasa had sent him. Well, they were actually two, and they read:
- #phone number
Kyoya sighed, he knew he deserved it. He kept on skipping work which wasn't a good thing considering who and where he worked for.
So he typed back:
He laid back on the couch and covered his eyes with the side of his arm. To be honest though, he didn't want Tsubasa to fire him, he wanted to quit himself. But it's not like he can reapply then quit because that's just nonsense and not worthy of his precious time.
He looked at his phone again and at the number that belonged to Gingka, he hesitated. He didn't know why though, something in his mind was telling him that it would be better if he did not call at all. Maybe time would make Gingka forget what he said to him the night before.
He didn't really mean what he said, he was just upset, frustrated, jealous, and kind of sad about the whole situation. He hated the fact Gingka had agreed to date Dashan without a second thought, but had told him that he needed to think about it when he himself confessed to him. He wanted to know why, why did Gingka reject him but not Dashan? And why did Gingka not tell Dashan that he wanted to think about it?
Because it simply isn't fair!
With the other two
"Where are you going Dashan?" Gingka asked when he saw Dashan putting his shoes on.
"Oh….I need to take Mei-Mei to the airport…she's going back to China"
"I didn't know she came with you…"
"She came to visit Madoka….they became good friends throughout the years"
"That's good, can I come?"
"I'd rather you stay here…..you look tired" Dashan said putting his hand on Gingka's chin making Gingka look at him.
"I'm not tired, Dashan"
"It's better for you to stay here…..the airport is very far from here and I don't want you getting sick because of the rain"
"Not now…..But it should start anytime soon"
"Oh….but that shouldn't matter"
"It does to me…..just stay here and don't leave the apartment"
Dashan took his hand off of Gingka's chin and walked to the door. He opened it and left not waiting for Gingka to respond to him.
'Just what is wrong with him? Why can't I go somewhere?'
He turned around and sat on the couch hugging his legs close to his chest and closed his eyes. Even though he was happy being with Dashan and away from Kyoya, he couldn't help but feel anxious. But at least he was away from Kyoya, away from his reach. He didn't hate him, he just didn't appreciate his presence. When he was around Kyoya, he always felt like he had to keep his guard up, always felt insecure when he was with him. He hated that feeling, the feeling of uneasiness, the feeling of insecurity, the feeling of helplessness.
He suddenly heard a ring come from the coffee table, he sat up and noticed it was his phone. He reached for it and couldn't help but feel like he'd seen the number before.
So with taking a deep breath, he answered it:
"Gingka?" Came the response.
"Um…who is this?"
Gingka couldn't help but gasp at this, 'Kyoya? What does he want'
"H..Hey, do you need anything?"
"I….just need to talk to you about yesterday"
Gingka gasped at this, he almost forgot about that.
"W..What about it?"
"I just wanted to say that I didn't mean anything…..honest"
"So? Is that supposed to change anything?"
"I hope it does"
Gingka sighed then said: "look Kyoya, me in Dashan are a thing now…..don't bug in"
"Oh really? I called to apologize and this is how you reply?"
"You didn't just call to apologize, Kyoya…..you want something else, right?"
"Well yeah….but only to clear things between us"
"Well, I don't wanna hear it"
"Well, you're gonna hear it!"
"I can always hang up" Gingka threatened.
"Don't….I just wanna talk to you…..I swear I'm not gonna do anything….I'm on a phone for God's sake!"
"Make it quick then"
"I was just thinking about something….about how quickly you agreed to date the guy, but wanted to think about it when it came to me"
"And what about that?"
"It's not fair Gingka! You didn't even give me a chance back then! And I wanna know why!"
"That's none of your business!"
"It is my business Gingka! You didn't wanna go privately and think about it! He confessed to you and you said yes! Simple as that!"
"So?! You're not being fair Gingka!"
"Well for starters, he didn't force himself on me like you did!" Gingka yelled.
"I mean before that you idiot! Before all that happened!"
"I had my reasons Kyoya! The circumstances were different!"
"No they weren't!"
"To me they were! Look Kyoya, why don't you leave me alone?"
"And why would I do that?"
"Because I do not wanna see you that's why! You've caused me nothing but trouble! Everything that happened is all your fault!" Gingka yelled in between tears.
"Yes! Now just leave me alone! I hate you Kyoya! I don't wanna see you for the rest of my miserable life!"
"Gingka…..you can't possibly mean that?"
"I do! Now leave me alone! Don't call me, message me, talk to me, look at me! Just don't come near me!"
"Shut up! I don't wanna hear it!"
"If you ever come near me again…..I will kill myself!" Gingka said hanging up.
So what did you think? Like it? Love it? Please tell me!
Just so you guys know, this is a Kyoya x Gingka fanfic...obviously...so the Dashan x Gingka part will not be for too long. Maybe two to three more chapters and then the relationship ends...damn! Spoilers!
please review! Nobody reviewed for the last chapter so I didn't feel like updating this at all...I was gonn wait till someone reviewed then I update...but I changed my mind...I like writing this!
I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I'll try to update sooner than later
Bye! And dont forget to jot down a review and some ideas for future chapters! Thank you!