She sighs and rolls her neck in preparation for the next attack. Cracking her knuckles, she grits her teeth in determination to face the next challenge standing between her and a nice, long, relaxing soak.

She pulls the pile of fifth-grade exams towards her and takes the top essay from the pile.

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Homework; completed only in the face of life-threatening circumstances.

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She rolls her eyes, of course they would manage to derive that of the stimuli she had provided.

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Excuses. Such an art, of which any and every student that wishes to succeed in life must master. Plausibility is key to victory, detailed backstories covering every loophole to ensure that your guise is not corrupted. You guys need to know, that have I completed this agonizing task, only for the purpose of sharing my knowledge so that you too, can elude the inevitable torture.

In the realm of excuses, there are many plausible ones and many that are not so believable. However, we should be cautious when selecting our reasons for our teachers, much like selecting ammo for a victim as some teachers simply don't care so we can save our brain cells for creating more devious excuses.

We all know that the "I went camping." Excuse rarely works and can only be used once a year if you want to stay unsuspicious, and the "dog ate my homework" one seldom is accepted anyway as who has a dog that can somehow open your book bag, find the homework sheets pertaining to the subject you like the least and eat it while not leaving slobber all over anything else of importance. Which leads us to the question; what IS the best homework excuse that can be re-used over and OVER without suspicion.

Being sick or having too much stuff going on is always a good excuse –"I had an asthma attack last night, I had a piano exam yesterday, I had a basketball game." These can all work especially if it is overnight homework. For some of the other teachers that you don't see often, it is best to use ones such as – "I don't think I was there, Homework? What Homework?! My printer ran out of ink. My computer crashed." And for the more desperate situations, these ones can get you out of trouble instantly - "I left it at home or, I lost it." Not only can the teacher not justify that you didn't do it on purpose as they have no tangible proof, you just bought yourself extra time to do it!

If you do not have enough excuses to last you a whole school year, you needn't worry. Simply throw it in a puddle, put it in the bathtub, put dirt all over it or mutilate it so bad that you teacher won't be able to tell that you didn't do it. However, if all else fails, tell the truth, it sounds the most realistic. If the truth is you were up all night trying to defeat the world BOSS or slay dragons or just really couldn't be bothered, the worst a teacher could do is give you detention and make you do it at lunch. However, the easiest way to get out of it is just to do it because it is a lot less effort than thinking up a million excuses that have only a teeny chance of working.

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-Dil Howell

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She shakes her head.

Then she writes

at the bottom

in red pen

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Creative, and original topic. Ensure strongest arguments lie in the first paragraph and the weakest in the second. PEEL structure not evident. . sentence structure/ word choice. However, if you are to use any of the above excuses in any of my classes again, I will be having a stern word with your fathers. A-

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She then proceeds to fangirl just a little over the potential prospect of meeting TheDan and Phil Howell.

Of whom she might have obsessed a little over in her youth.

...just a bit.