Day One: Jealousy

Pidge hated being jealous. It wasn't fun, it made her feel sick, and it made her feel nasty things she didn't want to feel. She especially hated that because of those things, it made her not want to be around Keith.

So she started avoiding him.

Which was actually really freaking hard, because, yes the castle ship is huge, but there are only seven people living on it (six now, a mournful voice whispers in the back of her mind), so she seems to run into him everywhere. The training deck and the Lions' Bay she avoids because those are the obvious places he'd be. But he also shows up in the kitchen when she starts to feel hungry, or the pool if she wants to take a dip. She has to go to the bridge eventually and she knows that even if Keith isn't there, Coran would be and she can't deal with him right now. She doesn't want to think about the other person who would likely be on the bridge, too. Or the other other person who should be there, wearing black armor with a smile on his face and not missing, leaving a gaping wound in their bond.

Pidge doesn't think about a lot of things these days, but mostly she doesn't think about Keith.

She doesn't think of his concern for Shiro and Lance when they'd been in the healing pods and how she'd vaguely wondered if he'd be just as concerned if it'd been her. She doesn't think of how majorly pissed off she was when he and Allura isolated themselves from the group in open space and how she was roughly aware that she wasn't angry they'd gone, but that they'd gone together, alone, in the middle of the night. She doesn't think of how upset and offended he was when Allura reacted to the news of him being Galra, as if the idea that she hated him was agonizing and unbearable. She definitely doesn't think of the time before Keith left to infiltrate Zarkon's command ship and Allura requested to be left alone with him and that bitter churning in her stomach moved to her mouth when she tossed out, "Have all the moments you like," and walked out with her head hung low.

She didn't want to be jealous, and she especially didn't want to be jealous of Allura, who was sweet and pure and graceful. Allura, the only other girl on the ship. Allura, who was her friend and now, every time Pidge saw her, that feeling from the hangar returned full force and made her want to puke.

She sighed and put her head on her arms.

Jealousy was terrible.