February 1989

Iris Black disliked a few things on principle as was her wont; background checks, queues, pears, and the human body being bloody disgusting. Kreacher, the poor dear that he was, held her hair back as she threw up into the toilet wondering exactly which particular ancient Sumerian trickster god she had pissed off to make her feel like this.

Because as soon as she found out who it was, she was going to hunt him down, drag him into the street kicking and screaming by his hair, then throw him to the ground and shoot him in the head without any form of remorse.

She muttered as much to her house elf who only chuckled in return, Kreacher was a good sort to vent to about well earned vengeance, the little guy got it.

Rinsing her mouth out and grimacing at the stench of her own breath Iris stumbled out of the washroom, passing Harry who was sitting on a stack of books outside the library while talking to Hermione through his mirror, and soon fell into her bed next to Sirius who looked like he was ready to die.

"Babe, I feel like shit," Iris muttered, Sirius let out a grunt, then languidly tossed an arm over her back, remaining silent for a time.

Eventually he spoke up, though it was quite halfhearted, "You and me both... When exactly did I pick up half your Wizengamot duties? I thought the entire point of you taking the head of house title meant I wouldn't have to deal with this shit."

Grunting Iris scooched up to Sirius' side and latched onto him like a limpet, he stared down at the redhead a few moments then asked, "Comfortable?"

Iris grumbled out, "Yes. Shut up. Warm. Comfortable. No talky. Cuddles now."

Sirius barely suppressed his automatic desire to break out laughing, and instead busied himself with running his hand through Iris's long hair and began humming to himself in a light tone, eventually his girlfriend spoke up sounding beyond exhausted.

"You're covering for me because I'm getting bad Padfoot, Arty saw it earlier this year, I'm losing my patience with the old fuckers. You were raised around them, I wasn't, my policy on dealing with annoying bureaucrats involves 'So exactly how much petrol am I allowed to use to make this go away?' That and I haven't exactly been... well, at my best the past few weeks."

Sirius pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the crown of her hairline while muttering, "Maybe you should go talk to Andi? You could have another case of the flu and we really don't want Harry or Hermione to catch that yeah?"

Iris let out a huff, then nodded as she gave Sirius a quick kiss, "Yeah, sounds like a plan, an-" She was cut off as something exploded down the hall.

The couple remained silent for a moment until a youthful and very timid voice yelled out, "Don't worry! Everything is fine, we're all fine, how are you?"

Sirius and Iris sat up, exchanged glances, then Kreacher appeared before them, looking completely put upon as he shook his head slowly, "I's be handling it Good Lady Black and Tolerable Lord Black... Just like Young Master Arcturus all over again..."

As the exasperated house elf popped away, Iris cocked her head to the side, then nodded to herself, "This is karma, this is exactly what my parents and my big brother had to put up with when I convinced myself I was a Red Mage and caught half the neighborhood on fire for science..."

Sirius was shaking with suppressed laughter so hard he nearly lost his grip on the woman leaning against him, eventually he pulled her onto his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and began giggling into her hair.

"Stop it mutt it isn't that funny," she muttered as she playfully swatted at the animagus, who then just gave up on being circumspect and was now openly cackling, his girlfriend joining him a few moments later.


Two days later Iris sat on an examination table, staring down one of the most terrifying witches she had ever met in her life, when Andromeda Tonks asked her a rather poignant question.

"Iris... when was the last time you had your monthly?"

What?

Oh.

OH!

OH FUCK!